F65

Looks or Personality..

February 03 2011

I was watching this show on Foxtel today called "Dating in the Dark"! > The show is about 3 single guys and 3 single girls that turn up at this huge house/apartment block. They do not know each other and the guys live separately to the girls. They never get to see each other until "reveal day" when they pick the one person they want to meet. > On the first "date" all six of them are in this dark room where they cannot see a thing! They get to talk as a group for a while and from this they pick the person they first want to date. Could be the same person for all of them or it could be someone different. Once they have picked a person they have a one on one date in the dark room with just a couch! There is no seeing this person so they go on personality only! They can touch each other and kiss each other, but definately cannot see each other! < On the second date they go with the person that the Compatability Test tells them they are best suited to! Some of these work out better than the first date and some don't! < The final date is with either of the first two they have dated or they can date the other one! In this date they usually have to do something for the other person...whether it be...sing...play golf in the dark...games or whatever! < THEN comes the reveal date, the big one! They get to choose the person they want to meet and then they are led into a dark room and the spotlight will go on one person for about 20 seconds and they are plunged back in darkness then the spotlight goes on the second person! Now, before this reveal date you hear how alot of these people say how well they get on with the person and that looks don't matter as the personality is all that counts! < If they then want to go out on a date with the person they will wait on a balcony for them and if they don't .. they walk out the front door with their bags as the person on the balcony watches them walk away. Or they both meet on the balcony or they both walk away. < Now, apparently not even 20% of them meet after the reveal as the looks did indeed override what the personality was like. Most of them say when the reveal has happened...OMG he/she looks nothing like what I thought they would! Which really affects some of us as some people do not have face pics up and you can, after chatting to someone for a while have a picture in your head of what they look like. < So, after all that...the question is...Looks or Personality? From the Get-Go...not as you get to know them! We all know that personality is what counts in the long haul! But I am saying from a web site..whether it is someone from the Forums and they have no face pic...but you love the way they contribute to here and have a brilliant personality that comes through to being in chat and chatting to that one person that makes you laugh and that you can have a decent conversation with. BUT the looks do not match your imagination. Which is it for you? xFunlovingx

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RHP User

15 years ago

Shallow Hal here For me it Starts with looks and i can adjust to the personality. But a shit personality can undo good looks Being Honest

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RHP User

15 years ago

I get to know a person on line first. It is the personality and when we meet, if the looks dont add up...I am happy to give the guy a chance anyway. Looks are something that you get used to anyway. The more you see a person, the less important thier looks become. After all Princess Fiona found her Shrek.

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RHP User

15 years ago

Hmmmmm...interesting topic!! Interesting show too from the sounds of it! I'm sorry, but at the end of the day if i am going to be putting my hands (and other body parts) on someone I need to be physically attracted to them.....talking and personality can only ever go so far for me. That being said, I once fancied a guy quite a bit, and it so happened that we were able to go out alone together once, for a drink. I had an opportunity to get quite close to him and he made a subtle move, but I felt absolutely no chemistry after it happened. So in that case his personality AND looks were working in his favour until it came to actually doing something and then it just fell apart for me. Was like kissing my brother or something ewwww ewww ewwwwwww.

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RHP User

15 years ago

I like the concept of the show but..... in real life, I think its going to set you up for a disappointment from the get go. Mostly because you're being asked to choose one or the other. On the outside you would be attracted to a combination of the two, that suits 'what turns you on'. Don't think we'll ever be truly happy with only one side and not the other i know I wouldn't. I know some very very attractive guys on the outside, but always walk away rolling my eyes, thinking ,"God if only he wasn't such a knob!" The flipside follows suit with the personality minus the looks. I love being surprised by a decent looking man (the everyday guy, not gorgeous, not ugly) with a smile that lights up the frigging room those big cheezy grins can transform a man in my eyes like a fairy's wand

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RHP User

15 years ago

It's still a toughie to answer. If I do a search, then I have to say looks and qualify that by saying if there's no profile pic, then points are lost. I realise that not everyone is comfortable posting a face pic, but something's better than nothing. Having said that, browsing the forums (fora?) is a good way to get to know someone, and personality does show through, so I'll look at a profile based on what they have to say rather than their pic. Think I've successfully sat on the fence!

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RHP User

15 years ago

this is a relationship question.. and unfortunately I think other considerations besides the two people involved come into play. Each of us have an image of ourselves.. self image... I think people need to see that person fitting in with that self image.. that's the image you have of yourself that you want to project to others.. your friends, family and work colleagues. People ARE generally very shallow I think, unless they've fallen in love by accretion... i.e. the love for the other person snuck up on them by long periods of exposure to personality over an extended period of time.Of course.. just my take on it.

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RHP User

15 years ago

but for me....good looks may mean a twinkle in the eye....nice smile with good teeth...beautiful hands.Personality is important.Kindness...honesty...acceptance...these all are very attractive features...and those "average" men grow more attractiveif they have them.On the shallow side though..gotta love a tall, solidly built man.JMO....BJxxx

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RHP User

15 years ago

I would take personality over looks, but if the person's looks were not what I would normally find attractive at all then the person would have to have some serious kavorka. That has happened to me once before. I fell head over heels for the funniest looking guy within minutes of meeting him. He just reeled me right on in. (For those of you who haven't heard of it, courtesy of Yahoo answers: Kavorka:(Pronounced Kuh-Vor-Kuh) Kavorka is a power, a mystical power, which only few possess. It is the animal attraction which causes friends to adore you and women to lust after you. Some say that it is a curse, a great burden to be in such demand; and Kavorka has been known to cause insanity as well as eccentric behavior. Those who possess Kavorka are the pinnacles of style, grace and popularity. Kavorka cannot be learned because it is an aura of sorts, and therefor you either got it or you don't. )

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RHP User

15 years ago

if its been a long drought, then the chick doesnt need looks or personality. however, as soon as that load is out, i start getting fussy again.

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RHP User

15 years ago

Quoting 'theone1983' if its been a long drought, then the chick doesnt need looks or personality. however, as soon as that load is out, i start getting fussy again. LMAO....gotta love the honesty.Although for some guys...they count a night as a drought.

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RHP User

15 years ago

wow wow wow, not so shallow hal methinks.i believe the looks ALWAYS come first, it is in our genes afterall.That said, as Stalky has mentioned, if you have a shit personality, or you are an absolute bitch, then i don't care what you look like...see ya later!on the other hand, if the looks are ok, and the personality is great , then after a while they DO tend to look more attractive!

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RHP User

15 years ago

i agree with you all, if the best looking bloke walks up to you in a bar, opens his mouth and is the biggest jerk in the bar...then that takes away the good looking and he becomes the ugliest bloke in the bar so i go by personality mostly....some of the most average men i know, are the most beautiful roxxy

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RHP User

15 years ago

I am never a fan of black and white, cut and dry separation of things like this. I think the show sounds interesting, and I am a sucker for shit like that, but in real life... looks and personality are just two factors in a very complicated equation. Yes, looks shouldn't be the only thing that matters, but that doesn't mean they don't matter at all. Similar things could be said about personality. A nice mixture of both, that is my preference. As far as on here goes, I think a good photo, and some hint at the personality in the text makes for a good start. However, I think a quirky photo can do just as much to grab my attention as one of a beautiful face.

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RHP User

15 years ago

I got on really well with a guy online but when we met his looks turned me right off. He wasn't ugly, in fact quite the reverse. His looks just didn't do it for me. Met one guy who had the great looks but turned out to be a bit of a dweeb so he didn't do it for me either. I think it comes down to a combination of looks, personality and chemistry. On the other hand, if I was looking for a casual hook up I would be more persuaded by looks.

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RHP User

15 years ago

I was quite surprised when i started on here, how much looks did not matter to me, however i hate women with a big Bogan attitude (biggest turn-off), happy to take on all comers in a casual meet situtation.But for a partner type women, i want to be able to see her walking down the street, and turn my head for a second look. aswell as a similar attitude to myself.

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RHP User

15 years ago

Quoting 'wowwow09' Shallow Hal here For me it Starts with looks and i can adjust to the personality. But a shit personality can undo good looks Being Honest Bang, spot on.I don't think it's shallow, attraction is attraction, physical or otherwise. Being honest aswell, I find that a personality makes somebody ugly more often than a personality makes me overlook appearance just not working for me/

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RHP User

15 years ago

My last serious relationship was with a girl I met on online, but when I finally met her face-to-face it was the first time I'd seen her. For me that was a massive leap of faith but it turned out okay (well, if you ignore the fact we split after four years together).

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RHP User

15 years ago

I guess I would prefer someone with a compatible personality and maybe (borrowing a line from above) the everyday gal, not gorgeous, not ugly...and really would be happy with that. Let's face it, looks alone are a gift and at least for the gals (and movie stars) can be altered a bit. I have at times been with someone who heads for the shower to come out all clean and fresh, sans the make-up, and kind of wondered if the other one was still in the shower. Call me a "natural beauty" sort of guy I guess. | Photos here too...just a bunch of pixels and not all of us can easily "smile for the camera" unless it happens to say something funny or tells me a joke. I just read an email here from an absolutely beautiful woman that said the same thing...kind of explaining her pictures that needed no explanation at all in my book. Mine here too...I have had way to many "professional" pictures taken for my different businesses and except for one business that I pursue with a passion, not a lot of smilie faces and unfortunately not a lot of people would "get it"...and all look quite "canned for the camera". So, I just put up some average everday ordinary ones (be nice...I know the camera can only work with the subject) and one from the olds days and one where I had been chatting with a really rare scotch. I actually look like this sometimes...even without my makeup. | Now the gift of presence...that's a completely different story. It's not just your looks and personality...could be attitude, gestures or just how you walk. That, for me is a huge factor and not carried in either our written words here or those "live or die by private gallery" photos. Parting words from a James Taylor song... | "There’s something in the way she moves,or looks my way, or calls my name,that seems to leave this troubled world behind.If I’m feeling down and blue,or troubled by some foolish game,she always seems to make me change my mind." | ...that, I can live with any time.

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RHP User

15 years ago

Reading a womans profile, their replies on forums, the way they write and the words they use...i cannot help but build an image of that woman..how i think she would look, sound, present herself..and so on. So its the personality that takes precedence...creating an image of someone you have never met or seen. And when you see a pic, you match that pic to the personality you have created. Even then, you still do not know...until you meet face to face a few times. With chemistry, both persnality and looks can grow on you. Its having the right balance of personality/looks that works for both. I think there is a different balance for friendship, and for relationship.

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