Living as more than a couple

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Might be easier said than done though. It's hard enough to find one person who you are great with and can live with and love. Love the idea though and if i didn't have small children in the house i would do it in a shot. We all think of all the sexual heat going on but really at the end of the day you have to become a family, socks and jocks and bills etc..... I would think that the big, not fantasy thing is the least of it. Still would love to.....but I have to confess, that's my pink bits talking.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Hi there,I think the idea of living that sort of alternative lifestyle is very appealing. Might take a while to get used to and have some established ground rules. But the thought is great

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Some previous housemates were talking about the idea. I would have been out of there like a shot. There is already enough drama in close living quarters as it is, for me. I would not want to open the floodgates to the special sort of drama that can only be brought about because of sex. I for one can imagine being in a loving MF couple, "sharing" said partner with another male in the anything-goes house, only to find one day that they're the loving couple. I can imagine it so vividly because a friend of mine was one of the sides of a triangle in a house that very much reinforced my opinion... But good luck to those who want to try it!

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I guess the combination (s) could make a difference and it would be very much determined on personality types. I know that I (Mich) could not do this and that it wouldn't work for me at all. I love the very intimate one on one relationship that we have and could never even have a friendship that would come close or that I would let get in teh way of the 'us-ness' that we have. I are really sure that my husband feels that same and he consistently doesn't go out with work or friends opting to just spend time together as a couple. Good luck to people that can make it work! I do know of 2 couples that tried it and it didn't work from issues such as jealousy and favouratism. It would be interessting to hear how it has worked for others! MIch

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I am curious if anyone knows the legal side of having sex in a public toilet, albeit with doors closed. What charges if any could someone face? I mean after all, the complainant hasn't seen anything, maybe both of you going into a cubicle, or coming out and maybe some groaning and thumping?

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  It's tough enough making a relationship between two people work and I suspect it would be exponentially more difficult between three. A female friend tried it with two other women, but it didn't work...

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I believe that poly relationships can work, although it entirely depends on the people involved in the situation. It's something I've given a lot of thought to. However, from my own observations of people in poly relationships, it rarely works if it's just about sex. I'd have 2-3 men in my poly household (if I could). Says me who's been single now for a couple of years. :)

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  One more consideration I forgot. One sharehouse where I used to live wasn't officially one of these poly houses but a lot of partner sharing went on anyway. Aside from the interpersonal conflict I mentioned earlier there is a whole 'nother level to the depths of the drama. STIs. Who got what from whom? Though once everybody's got it the point is a bit moot. First was herpes in three folks, then came chlamydia between four others. FFS, people! (And for anyone wondering I had nothing to do with those sordid affairs and I did not share in their STI bounty.)

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Uni students fucking around whilst in a sharehouse is just a part of growing up. lol

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'Polar_Bear_Girl'Uni students fucking around whilst in a sharehouse is just a part of growing up. lolSome of the male progenitors were significantly older and one visitor into the fray wasn't even a student. If it's a normal part of growing up these losers found a way to do it very, very wrongly.

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  Mr_MrsJones

  15 years ago

  I must admit that I (Mrs Jones) find this idea very compelling as well. Not just from a sexual point of view. I have read accounts of melded poly families that involved children as well as adults and the whole organic, hippie value system was very appealing. The idea of sharing the houswork among more adults, of kids having multiple mothers and fathers at their disposal is brilliant. To do something like this is a definite lifestyle choice. Unlike swinging it cannot be hidden from the relatives and friends, the kids or the kids friends. But as others have said there are issues like who pays the bills? If one couple owns the house do the other partners pay rent? Who takes the rubbish out etc, etc. Unlike regular de factos the third or fourth partners have no legal rights if the partnership dissolves after several years. In short it would take a very special person or people who would tempt me to go the whole hog. But it isn't something that is all or nothing. Sometimes you can have a relationship with a person that is more than fucking but you don't have to live together.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  In a non sexual way tribes of people have been living this way for centuries and because life is simple it works.I have read about Aboriginal and Native American tribes where multiple families blended together to share work loads ( and at times sexual needs) in an open and caring way, no harm to the children at all, each of the women are mothers to all the children (in some cases even breast feeding eachother's kids) and same with the fathers being parental figures to the kids of all involved. I think the fundamental difference here though is that it is a lifestyle bred from necessity as much as by choice and without the 'legal mine fields' and financial complexities it really does work.I myself am fascinated by the idea and can see the benefits and the pitfalls, would i do it? in an ideal world where it was considered a 'normal option' probably yes assuming we could find the right person/people but in the current and 'real world' that we live in not a chance!! i wouldn't want to put my kids through all the stigma that would create.Great topic thoughMrs GC

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I am currently in a poly relationship, with a couple who i met here on rhp :) it started out as just a few casual get togethers, then moved to much more, we share everything, we all put in for bills ect, they have two beautiful children who as yet dont know ( they just think i sleep in the spare room). it can be hard, though as with all relationships it requires work to succeed.the hardest part i find at the moment is not being able to be affectionate with Mr P when the kids are up and about, Mrs P and i can be affectionate with out the kids raising much of an eyebrow they just see it as a good friendship, which is what it is, also the status thing is one which causes alot of problems in poly relationships, but i dont mind not being the "head female" lol, less responsibility :D

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