RHP

RHP User

F68

Limerance...also known as crazy love

November 21 2013

is an involuntary state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person combined with an overwhelming obsessive need to have one's feelings reciprocated. It has been defined as an obsessive compulsive disorder that involves intrusive,obsessive and compulsive thoughts and feelings.The limerent,the object of these attentions is not necessarily someone that the person in limerence has even met.This condition was first labelled limerence,byDorothy Tennov in her book ''Love and Limerence ' 1979. Have you ever been the object of someone's obsessive attentions or have you been overwhelmed by this state yourself?

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Isn't that just a stalkers unrequited love affair? :p

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    The meaning of limerence is as you say...an involuntary state of mind! I have it every time I meet a new prospective play mate. It's the build up of excitement and the unknown along with desire and lust that drive it. I learnt early in my adventures of life that it is an exquisite feeling and to be cherished on all personal level. Its like a state of euphoria, somewhere we would all love to live but unfortunately it generally passes within a few months in any relationship once reality hits home, although people have reported being in this state/stage for much longer periods. People who actively seek this feeling of euphoria by moving from partner to partner/relationship to relationship(most of RHP I suspect?)are often labelled as love junkies and I believe it is actually registered as a medical condition....Someone call a DR!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    yes that is one consequence of limerence....but not everyone who experiences it becomes a stalker.xR

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    love at first sight?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    "Limerence begins as a barely perceptible feeling of increased interest in a particular person (who is known as the limerent object) but, if nurtured by appropriate conditions, can grow to enormous intensity. In most cases it also declines, eventually to zero or to a low level. At this low level limerence is either transformed, through reciprocation, or it is transferred to another person — who then becomes the new limerent object." Extremely interesting and I will definitely comment more tomorrow when I have more time. Thanks, Freya!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I first heard of this ''condition'' about three years ago..I realised when I was reading Obb1's post about his friend and thinking about your dilemma that it could be a possible explanation for that behaviour...it is a lot stronger than just the feelings we have when entering into a new relationship,the rush of endorphins etc...However it can affect two people who become utterly obsessed with each other x R

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Love the shoes! In response to OP, I've been the limerant before and it's a little disturbing when the person with the limerance opens up to you about it. Had a guy crying about how he'd loved me for years, stalked me on facebook etc for about 5 years... creepy. Was really sad though because I totally did not feel anything toward him.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I could only dream about this. I think it'd be fun being the receiver, what with me driving trucks and all. It'd be the ultimate catch me if you can challenge. I'd often thought it'd be fun to hang a banner from a hotel balcony that reads "Dear stalker, have you found me yet?" - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    More recently, limerence has been defined in relation to obsessive compulsive disorder as “an involuntary interpersonal state that involves intrusive, obsessive, and compulsive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are contingent on perceived emotional reciprocation from the object of interest." . I've certainly encountered this. No matter what I did to make clear I was not interested, the person interested in me took the fact I was communicating as a sign I was interested. Words were misconstrued, a frustrated tone of voice read as passion. . Wakin Vo, Challenging Intimate Boundaries: . "an involuntary potentially inspiring state of adoration and attachment to a limerent object involving intrusive and obsessive thoughts, feelings and behaviors from euphoria to despair, contingent on perceived emotional reciprocation”. . I used to think only people with a severe lack of self esteem suffered from this "affliction". A man I dated once would have changed everything about himself if it meant I would love him. . However in the last couple of days, when reading up on the subject, I found it certainly occurs in people with high self- esteem, as well as in people with narcissistic personality traits. I think the people with low self esteem can't hear the "no", as it would crush them and re-iterate the feeling of not being good enough. However, the self-assured and narcissistic people refuse to accept the "no", as they are not able to fathom another person could fail to see how perfect they are for them. . Which is more dangerous potentially? The desperate or the entitled? I really don't know. . Now, these are my own thoughts and no one else's. In my life, the situations where I found myself to be the limerent have never gone past begging and tearful phone calls. . But it's something that we should all know a little about. After all, you never really know what goes on in someone else's head.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I met a lovely guy from RHP. We had a lovely night, but his shyness wasn't doing it for me. We shared a little kiss, but there were no sparks and I told him this. He was very surprised he said, as he thought we would be great together, but seemed to take it well. . Afterwards he did not call or write much, but I soon realised he was looking at my profile several times a day. The months following he checked out my profile at least once a day. I ended up blocking him about three months ago. Yet his username appears on my real-time info feed all the time. . Maybe he wants me to contact him, saying "What gives?". Not happening.

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    12 years ago

    bahahaha Better watch over your shoulder at your favourite truck stops, careful for anyone other than a Truckie, that orders quiche Mado

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Watch out for anyone carrying fava beans and a bottle of Chianti as well, would you? . .

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    12 years ago

    Stir gone as silent as a lamb Mado

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    James Blunt and his "You're Beautiful" song? Does that fall under it? - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Or worse: "(Everything I do) I do it for you" by Bryan Adams. Eww.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    "I'm gonna make you love me" by The Supremes. . Scary stuff.