F49
Lifespan of an FWB???
February 05 2010
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
I've done it twice, both lasted around two months which was the lead up to me heading away travelling or going away for work. they started off as innocent, fun and supposedly short term (I was open about me leaving), but both times the girls became attached. on my return their attachment hadn't disappeared which made it uncomfortable to be around and the friendship that I thought could be maintained died.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Oddly enough I've had more platonic friendships over the years than sexual. Often with an underlying sexual tension but never consummated. Maybe I'm a slow learner or slightly dysfunctional but somehow sex usually spoils things in the long run. Then people can be compatible as friends but no so sexually due to mis-matching libidos. Which can be a bugger. Yet one can give themselves body and soul to a sexual relationship... which will eventually undergoes change over time anyway. First encounters seem more earth shattering... not knowing what to expect and the element of wondrous surprise. But those initial overwhelming emotions can't be maintained indefinitely as each becomes more familiar. Life can be so complicated.... my experience is that the ultimate and perfect partner is in the mind.
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RHP User
16 years ago
well I have 1 fwb ive knowen for over 10 years wer both married now to difrent people and still frends with out the extra bits now tho
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RHP User
16 years ago
I am still friends with an old FWB,However that said, she got to the point where the lines got blury and was falling into the trap of wanting more, which is why it ended.We still chat on FB and bump into each other here and there.I believe it works because she is a really well adjusted cool woman, whereas i am just your typical blokey arsehole
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RHP User
16 years ago
I agree with roughfukr the lines can get blury by either party and then the party is over..
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RHP User
16 years ago
I've often wondered the same thing...and eager to soak in as much info regarding this matter as I can! From personal experience, my best (male) mate started out as someone I was desperate to shag however to make a long story short, we only managed a few sessions before, during & after his marriage. Still the best of mates 15 years on (tho now its strictly platonic) Second one, started out as a relationship....gradually morphing into a FWB over a two year period....ended rather emotionally as we had difficulty in each other 'seeing other ppl'. Third, fourth, fifth.....uhoh, Im seeing a trend developing..... think I'll just sit back now and wait for other contributions....lol Anna xxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Mmm... the FWB thing and me don't seem to match. Unsure why? I've been told that I put TOO much into it and basically burn the relationship out. Actually...I get burnt out and move on. I think it reflects my fucked up brain and the desire for that intense emotional connection. I don't hold back...if you want me you get 110%...the same amount I put into work, family and the gym. I DON'T DO AVERAGE EXPERIENCES ! So... FWBs are hard to sustain for me. I have a very close friend from here. He's not really a FWB as we don't really do the "benefits" side of things. We had sex once then it moved straight to the friendship side which has been incredible. It is soooo great to have a man who I am close to but who doesn't want to fuck me ! I've really only had one FWB, it lasted four months... he ended it, I"m still a little unclear why... something about me not knowing what I want ! I have another rhp guy who is definitely a friend with the OCCASIONAL benefit but nothing regular. I have a currnet "thing" that is nearly at the FWB stage although maybe it's more of a relationship but it's only been a couple of weeks. It is going down the track of the same intensity as my first FWB which has me worried. It seems the more intense I allow the relationship to become, the quicker they end. If I rotate guys on a weekly or fortnightly basis they will probably last long term but if I see them intensely, as in several times a week (often fucking multiple times a day), then history says they will not last. Now... who wants me to analyse why I'm like that ? Love me or fuck me... but do both at your own peril ! As usual... an honest Miss_Saturn
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RHP User
16 years ago
i had mine for about two years till i bent the front diff.bloody four wheel brives.Earl.
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RHP User
16 years ago
You took the words right out of my mouth! I have the same problem ....oohh...sigh... Are we related? pmsl.. huggies sweetpetite41
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RHP User
16 years ago
Above comment was to Ms_ Saturn.. lol huggies sweetpetite41
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RHP User
16 years ago
Ooooo Sweetpetite, can we run away together, perhaps on a fuck tour of Europe of something ? You mean I'm not the only woman who screws everything (not everyone) up ? I've been thinking about this all day... I think a lot of it boils down to how I allow the relationship to develop and how attracted to the men I am. There are some men who have WONDERFUL personalities but I'm not sexually attracted to. I may have sex with them but generally its average sex and I therefore push the relationship into the FRIENDSHIP category quickly. Then there are guys who I am very sexually attracted to, who give me intense mind-blowing sex but who I don't seem to connect with mentally. I get frustrated by these men (they would be exactly what I want..if only their brains were different !). I tend to keep these men on "stand-by". I know I will have a great time with them but really they are just Fuck Buddies (FBs), not really friends. Then there are the guys who I have great sex with AND who I really connect with. This is the danger zone. I need to decide how to let the relationship progress. Do I keep it as a FWB or do I push for more ? If the guy is married I try and keep it as a FWB. I think that's realistic and I won't get as hurt. It the guy is separated or single then I will probably throw myself totally into it and see if he feels the same way. These are the relationships that are often short-lived. It's a dangerous game of getting close to someone, having incredible sex and still working out the boundaries. These guys are the ones I consider whether I'd be exclusive for or expect them to be exclusive with me. I have actually never had an "exclusive" relationship. But... pay close attention guys.... this is EXACTLY what I'm looking for it just needs to come with lots of great, mind-blowing sex, stimulating conversation and frisky playfulness ! (Please send me a message if you think you fit the bill !) A tired Miss_Saturn.
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RHP User
16 years ago
l had one who lve been friends with for about 25 yrs now, yep right out of school, !! he hit on me over the years and it was a definate no go look elsewhere but nice about it response, then he was a great friend in my time of need recently (4yrs ago) and we actually got together for a while but neither of us wanted anything other than what it was which was fantastic, then he started to say things like , your my date for sat night, and the kids love u they want u to stay for the week instead of the weekend, whoooaaa boy thats waving the red flag !!!! l backed off and he found someone to move on with and their still together now. in the begining l found l had to work really hard to assure him we were sweat tho, he kept waiting for me to turn venomous l think. now he laughs at it all and is back to being the great mate he was, minus the benefits. if u put the work into reassuring them that its all sweet, the friendship finds its way thru, l look at it as being a passing relationship when u need it without throwing yourself back into the ring again full time, straight after a heartbreak. A fwb serves its purpose of bringing you back onto the playing field at your own pace. cause lets face it there are some assholes out there and we do need time to recover while remaining active enough to not need the whippersnipper for the cobwebs!!!
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RHP User
16 years ago
The time frame of fwb seems to be up to the individuale. i had one that really started as just a fuck buddie and grew to friends with benefits ( even set up as a cpl on here for a while) but as it seems with all FWB's it fizzles out to be just friends in the end, but we may still get the benefits once in a while.maybe we should be asking how often do fuck buddies become friends with benefits and whats the approx time frame of that.freetime
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RHP User
16 years ago
pmsl @ fuck tour of Europe..! LOL For me if it is a man close to my age and I know pretty much straight away if I will want him more than once..I wont bother if I only want him for 1 night..Waste of time. And there is my weakness.....I want to be that good friend more than once. Get to know each other in and out of the bed. i don't see it as a bad weakness....A good one actually..Shows that I know how to be a friend and more. Sadly men run from that....I just shrug it off and think it was not ment to be..their loss to get to know someone nice as a good friend. I wont go near a married/attached man....Lord help him if I found out he was !!!...that is a total no go zone for me! I have said no to a cpl of relationshiips because I just starting to explore and want them to explore with me... Until then....I will take my time and enjoy those special lil moments I rarely get to have. huggies sweetpetite41xxxxxxxxxxxx
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wannabyummymummy
16 years ago
well there have been some interesting points of view here so far, i look forward to hearing more.For myself and my hubby we are very new to this whole lifestyle and are very happy in our marriage this is just a bonus spark for us so the whole concept of FWB's for each of us (and maybe some couples to play with as well) is the ideal, i really need to be into someone on a mental level in order to enjoy the physical side so someone that i am friends with and trust and can just share that little bit extra from time to time is what i hope to find here (after all i have the rest already)the Fuck buddy concept is also interesting, seems a fine line between FB/FWB/Relationship the lines are blurry life is never simple so i guess it all comes down to communication and knowing where you each stand.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'Miss_Saturn' Mmm... the FWB thing and me don't seem to match. Unsure why? I've been told that I put TOO much into it and basically burn the relationship out. Actually...I get burnt out and move on. I think it reflects my fucked up brain and the desire for that intense emotional connection. I don't hold back...if you want me you get 110%...the same amount I put into work, family and the gym. I DON'T DO AVERAGE EXPERIENCES ! So... FWBs are hard to sustain for me. I have a very close friend from here. He's not really a FWB as we don't really do the "benefits" side of things. We had sex once then it moved straight to the friendship side which has been incredible. It is soooo great to have a man who I am close to but who doesn't want to fuck me ! I've really only had one FWB, it lasted four months... he ended it, I"m still a little unclear why... something about me not knowing what I want ! I have another rhp guy who is definitely a friend with the OCCASIONAL benefit but nothing regular. I have a currnet "thing" that is nearly at the FWB stage although maybe it's more of a relationship but it's only been a couple of weeks. It is going down the track of the same intensity as my first FWB which has me worried. It seems the more intense I allow the relationship to become, the quicker they end. If I rotate guys on a weekly or fortnightly basis they will probably last long term but if I see them intensely, as in several times a week (often fucking multiple times a day), then history says they will not last. Now... who wants me to analyse why I'm like that ? Love me or fuck me... but do both at your own peril ! As usual... an honest Miss_Saturn You are the sweetest person Ms Saturn. I'm a pleasure knowing you and being your friend. :-) But I am a friend with Benefits... I give advice that's my benefit :-)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'mynameisearl2'i had mine for about two years till i bent the front diff.bloody four wheel brives.Earl. tho u really gotta get a haircut and mow ya face... hey! I hear stalky and JG are looking to cut some grass want me to point them in your direction?? LOL (disclaimer: I hope you take my comments in the manner in which they were intended. Purely for entertainment purposes and to give you a laugh, amen) Annaxxxxxxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
as always darl and you one of the funnier. how could i get pissed at you.we have the same first name.ahahahahahahahahahahahahacan't get a haircut as the ex is still badgering me to do so. dug my heels in now, lol.used to shave it REAL short so this is new. if the beard comes of i look likea 16 year old with wrinkles. not a good look, lol. hugs Earl.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Surely there is a support group for our furry friends? If not..lets start one earl! I'll be your sponsor for I too am follically challenged...man...I wonder what lies beneath my fur.....scary....but together we can do it!! The great shave is coming up so hows about it dude??
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cbdlivin
16 years ago
The longest FWB I have had was 18 months, a lot a lot shorter. My life is complicated enough and FWB is what I can do, but it always seems to be a problem where the other party wants to take it past the FWB stage. The best thing if its a good FWB relationship the friendship is more important than the benefits, which are just a bonus. So often the benefits just stop especially if the other person starts seeing someone who they think could be relationship material and thats when a good friend knows how to offer support and not jealousy Anyhow any one up for FWB Bryan
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RHP User
16 years ago
lol. Earl... I've done exactly the same thing to piss off my mother in law... hehe. You and me, mate. Both rebellious and sticking it to the man... hehe... plus beards are useful for keeping bugs out of your mouth .. you and your open face helmets.. jeese. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
does a beany count as a helmet these day's? used to get away with it but thefun police are a bit harder to please today. can't shave myname, sorry. my daughter gets scared,ahahahahahahahahahaha. probably scared of the gene pool she inherited.ahahahahaEarl.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Gawd....you guys weild the power of the overgrowth with such Unmerciless stubborness its positively frightening!! thats it....Im going native....so...there!! (wonders if anyone will even notice..sigh)
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RHP User
16 years ago
well it is a matter of keeping simple ( not hard for the boys) but i have had a FWB for a few years and we can see eachother out with others and its a simple hi hows things and move on... I would guess it works for us because that is what we are both after .. Great Sex with NSA. I am certain its not for everyone and can turn sour but my experience wors well .
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RHP User
16 years ago
http://www.redhotpie.com.au/Adult-Forums/Girls-Ask
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RHP User
16 years ago
What i was saying was......... I have kept all of mine,,,,,,ok so ive only been at this for a year or so. I have a very sweet young man who has been thrilling me for about a year now and is not terrified to come and snuggle or go out to tea. He does wonderful things around the house for me...boy things..and always checks if im ok and how things are going. Hes a gem. We explore together and have discovered some yummy treats together lol Another also an explorer....maybe more a guide really.....has been sharing hidden treasures for over 6 months. One wooed me for 8 months with his words before bedding me......and I still dont know what he looks like hehehehe I believe it all comes down to resect. Whether you are fucking or loving.....respect is paramount. There are some really wonderful guys on here..(yes they will be happy for me to pass on their names lol) .ya just gotta know what you do and dont want. Be in touch with your expectations be honest with yourself..... and get out there and love the peoples What i wonder about is where will this all end...can I book a family room at the nursing home LOL cheers Miss b
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RHP User
16 years ago
I love the fwb thing. I have had one going for the last 5 years. The first four years was pretty intense and very risky, but thats why it worked so well. And although we have both moved away, we still run into each other from time to time and get right back into where we left off. Its like an addiction, and we both like that none of our friends know or even suspect a thing. Who knows how long it will last? Other fwb in my life are just that, a couple are more sexual than friendship based, and one is a great mix of the two, and it works because we actally took the time to "TALK" first... and like the others, we know where we stand.. and know what it is ...and enjoy it for what it is... - Maple -
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