Life's funniest quotes in bed

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Do you have a bottle opener ?:-) xx Q

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  tamworthguy46

  12 years ago

  Quoting 'Qefenta2' Do you have a bottle opener ?:-) xx Q please explain ?

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  tamworthguy46

  12 years ago

  Are you a virgin ? Not for much longer !

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  madotara69

  12 years ago

  just slipped in yer bum by accident

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Because, in my best Monty Python's voice, exclaimed while kissing my way down a lady's body, 'I want a Shrubbery!'. She didn't mind that that but when I told her that her mother was a hamster I was in trouble.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  You're not as good as your sister!' - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  For the rodeo ride of your life! If you get to the 8 second mark you've done well before you're thrown off (and out)!!!! - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  "Come under the covers, I have something to show you..." "Oh, do you now?" *Ducks under the doona* "Look! It's a glow-in-the-dark watch!"

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  as he is holding my hands to stop me scratching him and telling me to stop biting. Bloody sook! I wasn't even hurting him yet.

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  MsSuperFoxy

  12 years ago

  I'll be back in 8hrs, I'm just going to give my pillow a head fuck...............ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Foxy

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  MsSuperFoxy

  12 years ago

  I'll be back in 8hrs, I'm just going to give my pillow a head fuck...............ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Foxy

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  The std came back positive, got you some anti biotic. Did you know your mum waxes as Well? Gosh who would have thought at your age you could handle the whole football Team? Are those my panties in your dog's Mouth!

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  I rather liked the old Guido Hatzis line "Do you believe in God?" Results in hesitation... "Well you will in a minute when i take my shirt off!"

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Quoting 'LadyTuscan'Are those my panties in your dog's Mouth!

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Ex: Yes Mrs TB_S

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  "Is it in yet?"

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Before having sex with someone for the first time I ask "What's your worst sexual injury ever inflicted on anyone?........ after her response I say mines "Acute appendicitis and a dislocated knee"

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Did you know you have three hundred studs on the ceiling? You call that a skid mark? No poodles don't shed, that has to be the most pubic hair I have ever seen. Can you wake me up when your done? What do you mean, wash the condom you have another date? yes you can go down for hours, I should know I watched to episodes of game of thrones while you were down there. Meeka to a lover,,oh for god sake,stop crying its only my number two strap on, wait till I bring out the big guns

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  CaptMoonlite

  12 years ago

  Oh yes, I am certainly bi-sexual, I almost always pay for sex.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  "Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time !" "Push any harder and it's going to come out the top of my head!!"

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Can you remove the ring on your finger?? *stops* Erm....honey??? It's my wristwatch!!!! ….......... - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  After otherwise great sex, "Fuck, where's the condom?"Followed by exploratory groping around her nether regions which killed the post climax mood Also (on a different occasion) looking down to enjoy the view mid deed and remarking, "Is that blood?" (I know it shouldn't matter to a post modern gentleman empathising with womankind but it still freaked me out when she forgot to warn me)

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Superfoxie........ Lol - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Quoting 'swinge' Before having sex with someone for the first time I ask "What's your worst sexual injury ever inflicted on anyone?........ after her response I say mines "Acute appendicitis and a dislocated knee" You caused someone's appendicitis?

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