F48
Kinky Not Easy
January 11 2017
I am not.
Why should my fetish negate manners and socail grace? What happened to the intricate dance between us that somehow relegated manners and decorum unnecessary? Am I the only person who still believes that an introduction is an invitation? It is an offer to partake in something or in someone.
I am sharp, I am insightful and I have a high emotional IQ. Just because I am not a sexually dominant woman, does not mean I am a mindless ragdoll.
In all of these emails, all that was mentioned is what they wanted to do TO me.
"I'm going to fuck your ass until I blow."
"You're going to choke on my cock till I come down your throat."
"I want to dump my load all over your pretty face."
"You cunt slut, I wan to rape your ass."
Well excuse me, but might I have your name first?
What the fuck happened to enticing me to WANT yoi? What happened to the magic of desire, anticipation, to a god damn introduction?
I am a deviant to be sure, I like my sex a little (ok a lot) left of center - that does not make me cheap nor does it make me easy. It makes me fucking selective! If I am to truly engage, to lose all inhibitions, to allow a dominant access to my body, more importantly to relinquish control of my mind, allow him to consume me - he had better be WORTH it.
People bang on about trust within the D/s dynamic - but what's that really all about?
If I do not see something in a man that will make me grow, if I do not look up to him, admire him...no, I need to go deeper. I will not fuck a person that I don't want to be. It is that simple. Best me or get out of my way! There is always an exchange of energies and I have ignorantly accepted much bullshit into my life because of my kink. The trade off, my soft heart for release. I'm sure I am not the first woman on earth who made the mistake of confusing love for mind blowingly great sex. I know I am not the first submissive to emotionally break beneath the weight of a psychopathic dominant. They are far more common place than the compassionate, awakened alpha I seek.
I'm kinky as fuck and I have no unressolved issues that tag along with that. I just like what I like. I do take offense to the common belief that I am easy, that no effort is required to capture my attention. I take offense to reading the same email eight different ways from mwn who completely miss the whole fucking point.
Surrender is EARNED and believe me, mine is fucking WORTH it. I am an ALPHA submissive. That means that you have met your match. I'm a rare breed and I am exceptionally proud of this aspect of my nature & sexuality. I earnes it! My submission and surrender is an act of will, I am not acting out unressolved bullshit.
IF I AM ON MY KNEES IT IS BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO BE THERE. It means you are WANTED, it means you are being ADORED in that moment beacuase that is what gets me off and there is no greater respect I can offer than to meet your gaze from my knees.
My surrender, no, my time and interest will require a hell of a lot more than,
I require a hell of a lot more than single sentence texts, monosyllabic answers. No I am not a quick fuck or a fuck buddy. If you want me, it is going to require more than, "Hey Babe, you wanna fuck?"
You needn't wear a suit to be sophisticated, you don't need position in order to have authority. You DO need decorum, manners and the ability to master YOUR OWN DAMN SELF before you even contemplate putting yourself in my presence.
If the D/s dynamic is what you want, you need to be more than me, or stop wasting my time.
- Posted from rhpmobile
Comments
RHP User
8 years ago
Sounds like your suitors watch plenty of porn and take their cues from that..
RHP User
8 years ago
...the boredom.
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
I don't think the messages you received are anything new, for many women here, unfortunately. Most are probably not enlightened enough to comprehend the particulars of your above response, and/or don't care anyway. For those that are, you are probably only preaching to the converted, however I'm sure a small few are up for the challenge of change.
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
While I am not a sub or a dom, my understanding is that the sub holds the power in the relationship when they submit. It is a gift they bestow on the dom.
The messages you have received show that these idiots have not a clue. They have no idea how to approach a woman without being rude, crude and vulgar. They have even less understanding of your fetish.
I have received so many unwanted explicit messages from men and I have relatively mainstream sexual interests. I have even received one first contact message that I can only describe as 'face rape'. First contact!!
It saddens me that they think that they can hide behind a keyboard and say vile things in an effort to fulfil some sick desire within themselves. Do as I do, if you receive messages like those you received overnight, report them to the site moderators as they are violent, bullying and completely unsolicited. I have done so for several and received replies that the issue has been dealt with. One RHP guest was removed from the site. The others were warned.
Men outnumber women significantly here. If RHP wants women to stay on their site, they will have to deal with bad online behaviour from men. We have to feel safe and comfortable otherwise we will just up and leave. As women we also have a responsibility to report these dregs of society and hopefully educate them that it is not ok to talk to women this way.
I hope you receive some more sophisticated and refined messages soon.
TWT xxRHP User
8 years ago
I feel your pain sister 😉 I'm exactly the same and they just don't get it. A few select ones do and they get the whole amazing experience, but most men just don't get it, sadly. And I'm a kink sub too, releasing full control to them, mind and body, but rarely find those who are worthy. I could give you one classic example of something that happened, but I can't, he'd know I was talking about him, but zero interest in my pleasure, all about what he wanted me to do, wear, blah blah but not once did he ask what I wanted, not remotely interested. Agree with the above, too much porn, not enough real human intimacy to understand the 2 things can meld together if they GIVE and not just want to take. Shit, listen to me, bit of a vent there 😀 fuck them, about time they got with the bloody programme, this is the 20th century is it not? The neanderthals are still amongst us 😏
Lovinit28andKC72
8 years ago
I have to get really for work and don't have the time to pen a response right this minute. 💋
RHP User
8 years ago
A true dominant would explore with a sub to discover the beauty in the sub's surrender. It is through the exchange of trust that the D/s relationship is further developed. A true Dom knows things about you that maybe you don't even recognise yet, they would know your limits and how to help you grow within those. And a true dominant (male or female) would not look at their sexual gratification first but through the exchange of trust discover hidden desires. A dominant watches what the the sub's body is saying and the words associated with the sub's every action. A true dominant doesn't presuppose knowing the sub but provides opportunities for discovery.
For a lot of guys, they confuse domination with abuse. Don't get me wrong, I love the sex some of these guys describe in the messages they are sending you, but to get me there, a man would've had to earn my trust and respect to know what my boundaries are and to ensure the whole experience was truly sexual and erotic for me and not leave me an empty shell which has been abused ...
I do argue that the art of seduction is lost on many people ...I go to great lengths to set 'the mood', to seduce, to entice, depending on what I know of a person, their likes and dislikes, their fantasies .... but that happens through open and insightful conversations first, then observing them and discovering more .... it's this that is lost in my opinion.
Mary xx
Mischeviouslad
8 years ago
Sounds like this must be your first ride on the internet rodeo
Welcome to the world of virtual reality where anonymity from behind a monitor affords these types the bravery to allow their inner dipshit to become their outer dipshit.
It possibly gives you an insight into their woeful life in the real world which has seen them emerge in here, as the pathetic sexpest that delivers them such a woeful life.
And because they don't get it, in here, they don't get any.... you know the types... the ones who take rejection of their horrible methods poorly and go on to abuse you by saying they wouldn't fuck you anyway, or that they pick up 20yos all the time and that it's your loss because they're rich and other broken male ego bullshit.
And they keep on doing it even in the face of their overwhelming failures.
So... while it's unfortunate that you have to endure such stupidity, they've done you a favour by being so up front about their dipshittery and quickened their journey to the land of Block.
They're out there.... sadly.... but at least you can keep them out.... and not invite them in.
DG
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
Of whether you have a kink, are a sub or just consider yourself an explorer - those messages unfortunately are quite common on here.
Clearly they haven't read your profile properly as you state "you are well skilled in the lost art of seduction." My reaction when I receive those messages is either to ignore or point out that I'm not a piece of meat.
Think of it another way - they've made their lack of understanding known and saved you some time. The encounters you want require a great deal of understanding and trust.
Completely agree with everything Mary said on this. And these men clearly don't fit the role.
AnnieWhichway
8 years ago
Of those messages would rarely turn up to meet. Theefore manners and introductions are not required.
They are releasing some sort of frustration that are in their personal lives. If they actually got a positive responce there would be silence on line.
They see a profile that they see is kinky. They think I'll get my man pants on and prove to themselves that they can be the big Dom.
Then their partner yells out from the other room to "get the fuck down here and do these dishes "
"Coming dear.... " and closes the rhp screen.....RHP User
8 years ago
I agree with all of the comments here so far.
There are some who think they can just say what they want to you and then there are those gems who can give you what you want with respect.
Like Kool and Country said it's not uncommon I've had many like that myself and have changed my profile because of it. At the end of the day if you know who you are and what you want fuck them. I know that probably doesn't help much when you receive such disrespectful messages but venting always helps me :).
Block and delete or let them have it!
Xx
Eiliethiya
8 years ago
All of your recent posts, feel like the words in MY head! I'm just not as articulate as your awesome self! ;)
Unfortunately, being open about your likes/dislikes, kinks and/or fetishes will always invite the crass and crude messages from guys assuming you're not an actual woman...just a willing vagina.
I suck at quoting...but your following statement is EXACTLY how I feel!
"I just like what I like. I do take offense to the common belief that I am easy, that no effort is required to capture my attention. I take offense to reading the same email eight different ways from men who completely miss the whole fucking point."RHP User
8 years ago
I hope you feel better.....as those that are probably sending those messages won't read it or learn from it....
I'm sorry you've experienced this.
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
They don't qualify for the criteria you have chosen.
RHP User
8 years ago
Many women here receive those sort of messages...unfortunately..The content is abusive,they are abusers ,weak mined and not worth a second thought. In fact they probably haven't even read your profile,it's really not about you ,it's about them.Q
teejaylongsword
8 years ago
Clearly those men were idiots. Your profile should have scared them off with the well articulated prose. Some men will get lazy, especially if they have messaged and been rejected quite a few times, and simply send a fumbled overly direct sexual response. I well written seductive introduction is much harder to write - especially to a stranger.
I will however, state the obvious about the third response you listed. The idea that 'rape' is an appropriate act is disgusting and offensive. You may have dodged a bullet there.
Take care.RHP User
8 years ago
Beautiful, reading your profile even got me hot and horny! But first and foremost, you want an honest and respectful guy!
Defamatory and vulgar messages will only result in blockage.
What do you want at the initial meeting before delving into too much detail of your fantasies? Timewasters don't intend on meeting and know they don't have a chance. Maybe use your best and worst experiences as a general guide for an update? Change your approach to change your result?
Like most have said above, they are trying to be what they think you want and just outright selfish. They try to be dirty and it ends up being disgusting. I honestly haven't received any messages like that - call me naive, but I was pretty shocked. Timewasters.
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
It could because of your gangbang question and a man's understanding of what gang girl likes. Just a thought
hornypair0079
8 years ago
Try blocking the dick heads
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
like the others have said its quite a common occurrence - sorry to hear you experienced this
RHP User
8 years ago
Let the blood boil... let the passion surge... bubble, bubble, boil and trouble... stir you cauldron ye lusty wench... foresooth (I hope that is the correct shpellink) one fair night, a gallant knight will lift you upon his sturdy steed and drive you to forget the twaddle that RHP brings...
RHP User
8 years ago
Is that a man who gets off on sending quite aggressive messages, who details the abuse he wants to do to your body...or any other womans, I don't think your identity is important to him...is likely quite capable of going too far, of not stopping when you stop enjoying it, of letting that pent lust( or anger..? ) carry him into sexual assault territory.
You say these aggressive messages are common.
Do you think that suggests all that is holding back many men from going too far, is opportunity?
MsJonesy
8 years ago
Those messages have anything to do with your kink, but are instead examples of how some men view women on this site; easy prey to fuck however and whenever they want... and with little regard to what they woman may desire.There are plenty of examples littering most womens mail boxes, as attested by the posts above mine.
What you seek is very specific, and from what I understand from friends who seek the same, difficult to find. Your profile alludes to some of your requirements in a man, perhaps be even more specific. It may not stop the messages but it will slow them down.
After some years on this site my own profile has been honed to the point where the niche market I wish appeal to are the only ones I hear from. I rarely - perhaps once a bad month - receive the messages you have. All up, I probably recieve 10 messages a week; they are all respectful and insightful, and I couldn't give a rats about not recieving more than that (those who claim 40+ messages a week...really?).
There will always be those who fail to read profiles, but there are more that will. So make sure your 'marketing' is precise, don't respond to those who are crass, and be prepared to wait for that which is right for you. Maybe include...right at the top of your profile, your paragraph "I require a hell of a lot more...", because that is a perfect way to ensure the dicktards give you a wide berth.
Ohh, I also don't give out my number until after I have met someone...a policy brought about very early in the game when a said dicktard passed my number on to a mate who was looking for a fuck. I don't think so matey. 😆
Good luck.....and let us know how you go.
MsJ xxRHP User
8 years ago
Those kinds of messages generally tend to die down a bit after a few months 🙄
Agree with Annie, Q and the others, it's not about you, it's about them, and yep, we all get them. That doesn't make your frustration any less real. I think it's cathartic to vent - and what a beautiful vent it was ❤️
I haven't read your profile, but if you haven't already, maybe you could add some of what you wrote above into your profile? The stuffs you said about a man making you want to grow, and the whole paragraph about surrender being earned - perfect! Won't help with all the guys/girls and couples who don't bother to read profiles, but some actually do :) xxRHP User
8 years ago
... 95% of the population would be blown away by the brain capacity of a 5th grader.
Lotsa dummies out there that can send emails.RHP User
8 years ago
The ONLY thing that stops some of these low life creeps from going to far, is opportunity.
The common theme is rape and I'm not talking the joys of a little slap 'n' tickle or rough sex, I'm talking out and out rape. Of abusing a womans body long after she has said no.
Given the lack of proper planning and safety...yes. I have no doubt in my mind these guys would take advantage of opportunity to live out their fantasies.
Oh, and yes, it is frightening.
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
We were writing at the same time ❤️ Can't imagine why we're friends haha xx
DynamicCouple36
8 years ago
We, and a few other couples we have met (IRL) on here, often (daily) get similar one liner messages that get straight to the point, leave very little to the imagination and in most instances are quite aggressive and disrespectful towards women.
Our reply is often along the lines of "Is this your standard opening line? Do you walk up to women at bars/ in the supermarket/ in the queue at the bank, and say such things ??"
LOL we have to laugh at some of the things that people say on here, in this make believe cyber world. We don't take anything seriously on here and don't let anyone make us angry. The downside of the written word is that it's hard to convey any tangible emotions, and many misconstrue things.
We are smiling and laughing as we type this (as we always do) and are not having a rant. It's simply not our style to do so.
Just because this is a swingers site, does not mean that the women on here are all sluts & cum buckets, who will open their legs on command, waiting to be filled. We are not pieces of meat.
Subtle seduction and fantasy are the things that excite us most .
The positive side of the messages is that it quickly sorts out the "wheat from the chaff" and so saves us a lot of trouble sifting through the gravel to find a gem.
That said, we have met some really nice couples , and yummy eligible single men on RHP, that we socialise with often, and also play with, when we are in the mood.
So there is both good and bad on here. We don't let anything from this cyber world impact negatively on our busy lives. We enjoy the good friends we have made through here (had dinner with some last night) and sharing our positive outlook with them. Life is, after all, fleeting and so needs to be enjoyed to the max.
- Posted from rhpmobile
ajcouple
8 years ago
Well written and so true
- Posted from rhpmobileMsJonesy
8 years ago
"I before E except after C".
Gawd. 😳
PatchworkGirl
8 years ago
Sadly, what you're describing is not new to a lot of us. Those kinds of messages reek of abuse, not domination. At least they make it easy to discriminate between them, and help recognise the good ones when they come along.
Sawadee
8 years ago
I got bored just reading a few of the messages you posted. Those few were enough ( didn't read anymore ) so I can imagine how it feels to get this sort of crap all the time .
Just remember not all guys send messages thinking they're Don Juan.
I'm a guest here and happy to wait to be contacted but even if I could message ,no way would I stoop to stupid messages like that.RHP User
8 years ago
Because I have expressed my group sex fantasy, I have invited this type of communication?
Tell me, if I wore a skimpy little black dress with sky high heels, am I "asking for it?"
For fucks sake, here we go with the lack of gender reconcillation diacussion again. Men are entitled to be as bent as they like and live their fetish with the freedom and liberty to just fucking enjoy their bodies and yet somehow, because I enjoy these very same fantasies, I deserve either shame or violence.
I reject that.
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'LaFemmeFontaine'
Am I the only person who still believes that an introduction is an
invitation? It is an offer to partake in something or in someone.
hah, that sentence probably sent every person who did first year law into apoplectic fits.
twowithnolimits
8 years ago
@fontaine, after what you have said we are a little disappointed that our well written, non abusive, non-sexual, non-shocking message did not even elicit an acknowledgement from you
@Timewilltell please don't propagate the cliche that the sub is in charge, in some cases they may be , but not all
@Annie which PML @ "Then their partner yells out from the other room to "get the fuck down here and do these dishes "
"Coming dear.... " and closes the rhp screen....." SO true....RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'twowithnolimits'
@fontaine, after what you have said we are a little disappointed that our well written, non abusive, non-sexual, non-shocking message did not even elicit an acknowledgement from you
@Timewilltell please don't propagate the cliche that the sub is in charge, in some cases they may be , but not all
@Annie which PML @ "Then their partner yells out from the other room to "get the fuck down here and do these dishes "
"Coming dear.... " and closes the rhp screen....." SO true....
"Johnny, if your bedroom's not tidied up by the time I come to check, you're going to get such a smack and you won't be going to Timmy's house on Saturday!"RHP User
8 years ago
I haven't received a message from you, a flirt yes, but not a message.
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
But you have recieved these messages overnight? And you can reject it all you like but what you write and how you write on this forum will influence how SOME men view you and your attitude to sex. Is it right?. No. But it's reality. As many have already stated some men will view you in this way just because you are on RHP. Not sure why suggesting that what you have written on the forum can influence people's perception of you (through their skewed eyes) was such an offensive suggestion???
To me it stands to reason.
Same if I am at a sex party there will be the occasional person who believes that I will have sex with them as a given just because I am there.
I am sure many women on here will tell you that their messages increase or the tone of the messages may change if they have written something very explicit or particularly kinky on the forum. It's where you are advertising yourself.RHP User
8 years ago
I'm totally embarrassed being male.
The others have said it all.
I offer no excuses, I think the term is "fucktards"
😞😱👎RHP User
8 years ago
I won't talk about explicit pictures on people's profiles...... too scared! Haha.
AnnieWhichway
8 years ago
About the content of forum posts gets them going
RHP User
8 years ago
LaFemme, congratulations on a well-executed piece. Powerful, on-point and a rollicking read ;-)
Personally, we are not particularly experienced in the D/s way of things, but the approach you have received/shared is not exclusive to D/s, or unicorns for that matter.
We have also had our fair share of less-than-shakespearean introductions.
As a male witnessing some of the approaches/responses on here (and when we are out & about in the real world), I often wonder how many get past 'hello', never mind reach the physical finale.
For us, when we find a match, we take time to read, re-read and understand the profle, and then take more time to craft an appropriate, polite, friendly and honest introductory message.
Regardless of whether we end up taking things further, the one common response we have had is 'Wow, what a fantastic message, so unusual on here!'
We can only assume that, for many, they underestimate the power of the mind as the primary sexual organ, and simply want to regurgitate that which they have seen on any number of niche google searches. Shame really.
That said, we have found (and continue to find) that chivalry and decorum is not totally dead - there are still many with some class :)
Anyway, thought we would share!
Stay safe & happy hunting!RHP User
8 years ago
I am not saying that you shouldn't post about your fantasies or kinks. More power to you!! But unfortunately I believe that you have to accept that there will be a small percentage of people who will judge you on those posts and will send you messages that you will find disagreeable. Should that change your behavior? Fuck no!
RHP User
8 years ago
Just delete, you would know from the first sentence, and judging by those mails they are self pleasing individuals, most sensible sexual souls would realise that conversation and intrigue is 90 % mental stimulation which converts to the ultimately forgotten foreplay which results in stronger orgasms for both male and female , all your mails are from mechanical sex searchers, no interest , or total unawareness of sexual prowess , once met someone who thought erogenous zones were in africa somewhere lol god help us eh , sitting and waiting for the well attuned email is always worth it , otherwise , your wasting your energy , live and learn and mistakes will happen but you gain, You get wiser ok
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
I don't think it's lack of opportunity, more like pure fantasy, it's just trolling really.
Trying to elicit a response purely for the sport of it.
They realised they were a loser a long time ago.
cbdlivin
8 years ago
I had a read of your profile, and to me you were very articulate on your own kinks and what you are looking for and of course those sort of messages go no where near your own kink.
This is just the many typical males on here who see kinky, Dominant and a few other words and they get all excited and decide they can be the Dom for you though what they are mostly thinking of is sex as they have no idea what a Dom is and they are definitely not one. As you have some big words on your profile they probably had to skim thru your profile due to not being able to understand it.
Hopefully you may have weeded out the idiots so that you actually get someone on your wavelength who appreciates the profile.RHP User
8 years ago
Firstly it saddens to have to read your post Op. As mentioned from all before it's the few unintelligent self centred abusive egotistical cavemen who think being a Dom is about violents. ( When as you know it's about the subs empowerment.)
The few spineless keyboard warrior's who's only way of communicating is through crass word's and the degradation of women.How they communicate to you shows you there intelligence or lack of.
Not all men out there are like this yet unfortunately you have to sift through the dirt and mud to find a gem.
Keep looking there still some nice guys left.😉
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
The pen is indeed mightier than the sword, well almost! 😉
You've a fantastic turn of phrase, thank you for contributing your thoughts.
Femme 💋
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
I appreciate your offerings on the different forims much. After so many years abroad and being in a creative industry, I suppose I have just been spoilt.
Your thoughts are appeeciated. x
- Posted from rhpmobile
NewVicCpl
8 years ago
Embarrassed to be a male,
Sorry some of us are such arsehats and treat lovely people like yourself so poorly.
They all need a beating with a wet Salmon, and then some....Naughtydouble
8 years ago
We have to sift through a lot of crap to find a worthy cause and even then we still get it wrong EVEN WORSE WE YOU THINK YOU SHOULD GO AND YOU DONT oh no lol its a game qe play some times we win some times we lose
- Posted from rhpmobile
sweetgem
8 years ago
That the majority of women on RHP, whom are not only after a 10-minute sex, have had similar abuses when we first signed up to the site 😊 I definitely got them and got called different names too after I said "thanks, but no thanks". It was in my early Pie day and I thought I should be polite to reply even with a "no thanks" message. One even insulted me with the claim that he only fuck the petite women and felt sorry for me for not been a slim figure, that's why he gave me a chance to get sex! 🙄🙄 some men really 🤣🤣
LaFemmeFontaine, you are entitled to feel how you feel and do what you must do with those abusers. However, please do not give them anymore time from now on, as it is not worth it to give abusers any more attention! Yep, even being angry with their low class messages is also an act of wasting your own energy and time! 😊 And next time you receive such messages again, just roll your eyes (we all do naturally 😜), delete the messages, block the senders and be smiling that they have shown you a brighter stairways to happy heaven 😊
This type of bad experience will become a firm foundation for your future abuse filtering system, LaFemmeFontaine. You will become less and lesser affected by this type of insult, as you pile up wisdom on your time on RHP 😊
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
Wow! So sorry you have been addressed like that LFF.....miss you! Xx
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
I think it is all too easy unfortunately to forget the emotional if not actual intelligence of the average respondent here is about that of a 15 year old. many simply have to be accepted as the price paid and deleted.
I know. sad. but I suspect raging against it is akin to self flagulation - some may enjoy it for its own sake but for many it just leaves you tired and sore. :-(
- Posted from rhpmobileLovinit28andKC72
8 years ago
Yes they seem to think that because you're sexually open minded and express your interests, that it gives them some kinda right and that you are a lesser person, than the woman next door. When I was single I used to have most things ticked on my profile and I got very similar messages to yours, I then decided to take it all off and leave just the basic there and that actually helped. I also noticed that what I wrote in the forums, was like Candy said, I'd get more messsges, different messages, it really would depend on the topic. I think some people are just rude, ill mannered, judgemental, narcissistic arseholes. It's a same because it can ruin the whole experience for everyone. I love the RHP block function, but I do wish it stopped me from seeing everything and I mean everything. 💋
RHP User
8 years ago
Thank you so much for your time and effort in your response. I have been polite, responding to each message but it is 1 in 3 replies that has been abusive. My template answer is, "Thank you for your message, I appreciate your time but I'm not interested. All the best in your search."
The insults and name calling from bruised ego has been nothing short of deplorable.
- Posted from rhpmobile
MrRudienudieqld
8 years ago
Not excusing any abusive rubbish msgs, but my view is many guys don't know what an alpha dominant is, let alone are one. I myself would love to be one, but I myself am naturally too giving when the heat is on. The d/s world is emotive and psychologically complex and many need someone to learn from. And that is not an easy relationship to find.
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
Hi am new but it's all to themselves, the inferiority and depression and the bad comments, I don't think it should b offensive as it is wat they r ?? , Insecure ? Love is a universal thing it manifests in different ways in different beings , and why get offended , u r universal ??
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
What I've found being single on and off for the last 10 years is that men have become arrogant. In addition to that, by and large, younger women are accepting of that. I love dominating. I love kink. But that doesn't mean I don't say hi and engage in conversation until there's a level of comfort.
What shits me the most though, the arseholes are the ones getting the women, whilst us not so bad blokes play air guitar lol
- Posted from rhpmobileGrouse33
8 years ago
That it was a bunch of dipshits that got off on anonymous abuse that prompted your post LFF
Because what you wrote was really quite beautiful, and made me think about submission in a new light.
- Posted from rhpmobile
horneycouplewa
8 years ago
Shes a bitch
Sawadee
8 years ago
Don't ask...
AnnieWhichway
8 years ago
2 of whatever 2Roosters is on?
RHP User
8 years ago
This is why men should be feminists. Because there IS a difference between abuse, and insanely great sex. I'm a bit fucking over porn and its warped sense of degradation, misogyny and patriarchism being passed off as normal and somehow sexy!? Here is why, you just won't find much porn that actively portrays, positively and naturally, a sense of consentual sex. It's all about rape glorification and shit like fucking 50 Shades of Fucked Up. Thank god there are actually men out there who care about women, who love women in whatever role they are. Dom or sub. Or none. Hey, you'll find a passionate partner who fits. Sorry you have to wade through the fuckheads to get there xx
- Posted from rhpmobiletall60
8 years ago
Anywhere in the public domain u see bad behaviour...on the roads, footpaths, swimming pools,football games....the net is just another public area where stupid behaviour is exhibited... of course a sex based site, will bring out the looneys...what else would one expect...just be smart enough to side step them, with whatever means they deserve...ignore, block, report...tightening up ones profile as suggested by some, also makes lots of sense...but the looneys don't read...costs them nothing to insult and harass..it will also gain them nothing.
RHP User
8 years ago
Men like these don't send it to attract you. They send it to assert their dominance over you, not because you are a sub, but because a) you are a woman and b) because you are assertive and it threatens them. Their livelihood likely rests on the oppression of women. You rebel, you ♡
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
Oh...all the ways in which I miss you. xx
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'taramara93'
Men like these don't send it to attract you. They send it to assert their dominance over you, not because you are a sub, but because a) you are a woman and b) because you are assertive and it threatens them. Their livelihood likely rests on the oppression of women. You rebel, you ♡
Sometimes that really doesn't ring true, and just sounds like when my Mum used to tell me the bullies who called me Goldilocks were doing it because they were jealous of my ringlets the colour of golden corn... and didn't I know that ladies paid hairdressers lots of money to have blonde curls.
Maybe they were, but I think really that was just a story to make myself feel better if I believed it, but didn't necessarily reflect fact.twowithnolimits
8 years ago
Sorry LFF but it still says you read it on Jan 10th and the record shows the message is still active but unanswered.....
As for the lack of eloquence by the aforementioned RHP respondents, that is nothing new, we have been here 12 years and it has never been any different.RHP User
8 years ago
I like the way you think...thank you.
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
I'll go looking...
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
Without these you aren't going to get too far in life, yet alone a rendezvous....
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
Insecure? No. I find it offensive because it is. I personally require a little social grace and decorum. It is as simple and as complicated as that. I take umbrage to this type of communication without consent.
I am a person.
I am a woman...and then I am submissive. Being a submissive should not make me a target ot candidate for abuse.
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
You have mail. My apologies for losing you in the mix! 💋
- Posted from rhpmobile
MsSuperFoxy
8 years ago
I see that the OP and twowithlimits have some unresolved issues over an exchange of messages.
Ms FoxyMsSuperFoxy
8 years ago
Ms Foxy
RHP User
8 years ago
I feel your pain, my kink too is a little different and I seem to get the same dicks posting similar comments to me even though I state I'm not interested in single men.
Some men unfortunately only seem to read half a profile, look at the photos, start beating themselves off and then post whatever they are thinking of in their own mind without in consideration or respect for you.
I promise there are good men out there but like many say on here the men do outnumber the woman but hang in there.
Maybe, along with other woman receiving these sorts of first messages, you start reporting these profiles for inappropriate behaviour and hopefully RHP will do something about it.
Hope you find what you're looking for.
Brandy
- Posted from rhpmobileDynamicCouple36
8 years ago
LaFemme,
The senders, of those unsolicited, disrespectful and aggressive messages, really have no justifiable excuse at all.
They may argue that your profile wording and photos, were an invitation to them, and that because this is a sex site, you must expect and accept, to receive such messages, and be treated like a piece of flesh. There are so many, on sites like this, that feel that way and have a strong sense of entitlement.
We have had our fair share of such messages, and still receive them on a daily basis. We have been told, by many, that our photos are to blame. We disagree with this excuse. It's like saying she was raped because she looked attractive, or was wearing a tight mini skirt .....
We have always tried to answer all messages, and to do so as politely as possible. But due to the sheer volume of the messages, and their content, one soon gets fed up with (a) replying to them (b) being polite, only to then receive a barrage of verbal abuse for the fact that one did not "open ones legs" on command but instead rejected the senders disrespectful, uninvited advances.
It's a given, that sex sites such as these, do attract what we call "the dregs of society". We have experienced our fair share of these, and it's been one hell of an eye opener.
At first we were utterly shocked, and angry, at the content of the messages. And in many ways also felt "raped & violated" by what was written in them, or when a request for face photos was instead met by a flood of penis photos.
Rejection and bruised egos, push people to do some weird things. There is a "couple" whom we rejected a couple of years ago, (We have put couple in " ", as it has become very clear that the abuser , the one doing the messaging, is in fact a male) who have been harassing us at every opportunity. Naturally we did the right thing by blocking them as soon as the abusive messages started arriving. Unable to get to us, he then resorted to using the Forums to continue the harassment. Admin were alerted and the abuse was tolerated , and monitored, for several months after which they (he) were banned from further forum posts for a period of time.
Of course, this resulted in the abuser needing another platform from which to continue the abuse, anger & hatred. And so he registered a FaceBook page on which he has continued with his hate speech. We have been labelled "man haters" and everything in between.
On his FB page , there has been mention of the "Forum Mafia". Other formites have been defamed and called all sorts of nasty, hateful things.
We now laugh it off and don't let it have any impact on our lives. We have met some really nice couples and single men on here. We are not man haters at all. Yes we have, like you LaFemme (and others), received a high number of disrespectful and aggressive messages, but our rejection of them and our attitude towards them, and the fact that we have complained and also voiced our opinion about them, does not make us "man haters". We have never said that all men behave like that . Nor have we said that all men on this site behave like that. It is however unfortunate, that a few rotten apples, spoil it for the nice respectful men on here.
We don't think we are the only ones who have experienced this. There are many, many profiles in which it is clearly written "no single males " "do not message us" "you will be blocked " etc. That does not make people man haters. It is unfortunate that one has to write such things. We think it's due mainly to the high ratio of men to women on here, and the high number of unsolicited messages that women & couples receive.
In most instances, at least in our experience, the senders of the messages have completely disregarded and ignored, our clearly written requests within our profile wording. We have had to change our wording a few times, in reaction to the messages we receive, which of course we are entitled to do.
Our advice to you LaFemme, is to not let all of this get to you. Just laugh it off as we do.
Accept the fact that there are some disrespectful psychos on here. There are also some really nice people on here. Concentrate on the good ones, that give out positive vibes.
We have become good friends with several we have met on this site, and we see them regularly "in real life" - spend weekends together, dinner, drinks and sometimes more. ( had a great naughty NYE party with 17 from here )
There will always be different opinions on here, to which we all are entitled, based on our experiences . This does not make one person right and the other wrong. Or one person good and the other bad. It's unfortunate that there is so much back stabbing in here, and that people form cliques / packs / gangs. Some have even gone so far as to form secret FaceBook groups in which they gossip about and back bite, defame & "crucify" others on this Forum. It's par for the course. We find it quite silly, as clearly they take this cyberworld far too seriously.
Just laugh it off for what it is.
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
On behalf of some of the genuine men on RHP I apologise for the appalling behaviour.
The ratio of men on here is far higher than woman and couples and I firmly believe that the males (they are not men) writing comments like that to you are doing it to others and that is just too intimidating for some woman who would love to be on a site like this. Try also ruin it for genuine men like me.
I will admit that I don't fully understand the Dom/sub kink but that doesn't matter. In my opinion respect should be shown to everyone.
Would these guys walk up to you in the street and say that to your face? I think not. But on line they think they have the right to be as derogatory or vulgar as they like.
My belief is sending an initial message or two, getting to know a bit about each other and save the kinky talk until you are invited to. That includes after meeting.
I do hope you find what you desire but maybe until then promptly block and report those that send horrible messages to you.
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
Possibly why most profiles simply state 'no guys'.
From a compassionate awakened alpha!
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
Thnak you, you guys sound like my kind of people. I would have to move North. (Sigh).
Femme 💋
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
well said sum guys are so simple i believe the chase is as good as the catch. i always go of the cues im getting from the beautiful woman im chatting with as im only a guest here i chat more in kik than anywhere else. glad to see a beautiful woman putting these guys in their place 😆
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
Messages like yours and the many I have received in my inbox have restored my faith in this site. Thank you for being chivalrous and a gentleman, I appreciate it very much.
Femme 😚
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
(Big wide ass grin)
So you guys do exist, I was starting to wonder if perhaps you were just a myth.
Thank you! 💋
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
Cheers, you nailed it 👍🏻🍻nothing more needs to be said, just hope blokes will actually read this and take a hint
- Posted from rhpmobileSawadee
8 years ago
We do exist , it's just that the dickheads get all the attention and spoil it for the rest..
RHP User
8 years ago
The amount of sighing and WTF'ing at monosyllabic, non-pragmatic messages have especially been getting to me lately! I am being to think that 'chivalry' will soon be an extinct word in the English dictionary! Thank you for articulating and sharing this issue :)
A xxRHP User
8 years ago
Based on my stats as of just now I received 1921 messages (not bragging coz I'm sure the other girls received more than this) nothing to be proud of, 99.5% do message me like that. I vented out like you, but lately kinda learnt to regard those messages like a comic book and ignore or report them. After awhile they're filtered out for you till you find the one. I'm happily in a casual relationship since last year not long after I joined, he's younger but who cares, better than those chauvinist ahole. I made few Platonic friends which is more than I could asked for. The ratio on this site is 1 woman to too many men, so if they don't get their act together then they should stay content with their hands. So hang in there, the girls still got the upper hand ;)
RHP User
8 years ago
The dickheads get all the attention cos the nice guys put themselves last...... ;)
RHP User
8 years ago
I totally agree with Brenton71 and yourself well written words , and I would not consider that a rant , more so expressing what I'm sure a lot of other ladies encounter on here .
Would love to discuss sometime.
Well said guysRHP User
8 years ago
Come on, if you put yourself last then you will come last. Stands to reason. Problem is ""nice"" guys fade into the background and don't do anything to attract a woman's attention. You have to be louder than the dickheads. Common sense really. ;-)
RHP User
8 years ago
Firstly, thanks to the OP for posting this. It actually
takes quite a lot of internal fortitude to speak up about how you feel. To then
throw it to the wolves of the RHP forums takes a much larger dose of fortitude
yet again. So, thank you.
My name is Brae, I have actually been on RHP for nearly 10
years now if memory serves me correct. At one stage I commented very regularly on
forum, however this is the first comment in many years. I apologize in advance
for the long-winded reply.
.
I am a Dominant (A Dom) I have been “one” for many years. In
this time, I have learnt a lot! I have a belief that I was born dominant. I am
a leader in my field, since childhood I was selected for multiple leadership
roles. In crisis scenarios, people seem to naturally look to me for leadership.
I also feel it is very natural. This transpired in sexual relationships as well
my partners spoke to me about how they enjoyed I was powerful and took control.
(Ahhh control, that’s an important bit, let me mention that again later.) However, it took some time to learn how to wield
this “Dom thingy” I have going on. I want to say upfront I made mistakes!
.
Ok so there are books, great ones on how to be a Dom. I wish
I had read them earlier, pre-mistakes! There is not a lot to go by as a Dom particularly
when you are learning, today we are blessed with websites, blogs alike. I was
surprised when I looked at the forum and found the new kink section. It should
also be mentioned the mistakes you can make as a Dom can be pretty hefty! Not only
personal physical injury of partners, even when you know what you are doing and
you do it right. Perhaps most importantly the emotional damage you can create
to a person. Enough about Doms.
.
Guys read this bit
> Most of the delightful woman I have played with or play with are wonderfully
powerful confident woman in their day to day lives. They are in NO way shrinking violets or weak women who want to be or will let you take advantage of them! I have played with CEO’s,
scientists, school principals, Police officers, builders – yes female builders
exist. While powerful and confident they are also all quite different in personality,
which is of course what you would expect. They all describe enjoying the
release that taking on a submissive role gives them, however to think that,
this release is derived in the same way for each of them would be disastrous. I could describe the
many types of play but what is most poignant is the wide variance in experience
which is enjoyed.
.
There is a very common
misinterpretation around BDSM and D/s play which is it is simply what it
seems on the surface. That woman (or
men) who participate in this enjoy it all the time, with anyone, and have no self-respect or worth. Nothing could be further from the truth.
That rough sex or non-consenting sexual violence is the same as consensual sexually
aggressive play, or consensual BDSM or D/s play (yes of course you can have consensual rough sex.) Being a Dom is NOT as simple
as grabbing a woman by the hair, throwing her about, hitting her a few times
and boom she will recognize your sexual dominance and be ready to swoon at your
feet.
.
Degradation or humiliation play are often mistaken for being
joined at the hip with D/s and BDSM play. Tip
fella’s not everyone likes it! I have very sane, clever powerful woman who
love nothing more than for me to humiliate them. However, 9 times out of 10 its
after we have spoken about world politics, art or discussed the economy. We will
have generally gotten to know each other at times it takes multiple interaction
online etc. I want to get to know my partners for this play very well, BEFORE ALL
my play begins. It will ALWAYS be after we have discussed limits hard and soft,
likes and dislikes. We will have discussed passed sexual experiences what
worked and what didn’t. How can you take someone on a journey, if
you don’t know in which direction they’d like to go? Again, what should not
surprise is that everyone is different. However, the majority of experienced participants
appreciate this approach.
.
There are occasion and I would like to stress, they are few and far between, that I
find woman don’t appreciate this. They get frustrated at the length of time I
take to make sure things are right. They don’t understand my friendly neutral
approach. They want to rush and sometimes can’t appreciate that while I always
try to be a gentleman and can be kind warm and have a healthy self-deprecating sense
of humour. In play I have been described from powerful and “sexy as fuck” to
extreme and scary. I generalise however my experience says the people who don’t
appreciate the “getting to know you phase”, are often new and inexperienced.
Sadly on occasion they come from an abuse back ground and see D/s BDSM play as
the same as their past abusive experience. Part of the reason I take time to
learn about people is to weed out these often lovely but damaged woman. They do
not need play with me they need care.
.
BDSM, D/s play requires enormous amounts of self-control by
a Dominant. Every word, instruction, stroke, pull, prod, requires it. Having the
power requires it to be used with accuracy that ranges from delicacy to at times
hefty limits. I must say I never feel out of control, I never let it happen. Most importantly a mutual respect for your
partner..
I have made mistakes, I have in early stages come on too
strong too early. I have misread scenarios and misjudged. Luckily no one was
hurt in the process. I often have woman who I play with or have played with
send me screen shots of ridiculous stuff they are sent as messages. Most have
been described as examples in earlier posts. My suggestion is that these are “blokes”
thinking they will give kink a go. Or inexperienced dom’s – Little “d’s” as I
like to call them.
.
Some 10 years on and on occasion I still do. Somewhere someone
is shaking their head at me foe admitting I still on occasion make mistakes.
Dom’s don’t make mistakes or at least not admit them, do they?
.
Again, apologies for the length. I haven’t posted in years,
this seems to make up for it!RHP User
8 years ago
Then why do people give you their number and then don't bother to reply when you send them regular nice messages?
People just don't have manners.
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
Darling I'm so sorry! My inbox went crazy, life went sideways and I missed your message in the silliness.
You have mail (and a text).
I promise I'll make it up to you. 💋
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
Exactly my point ;)
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
Your arrival back on the forum is a wonderfully cool glass of water after a long drought. Thank you for the time and effort it has taken to wrote your post.
I appreciate you much,
Femme 💋
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
So glad you agree with me. There's a good boy. :p
0:-)RHP User
8 years ago
Although I feel for you if it where me I would turn the anger and frustration into some fun.
I am neither dom or sub, however i do respect that it is a very complex relationship. Your so called ignorant suitors obviously think your are saying " I am a shameless slut come do what ever you like".
Being a sub does not mean you cannot dominate these twits with a witty response that I am sure will lift your spirits.
Here are a few responses off the top of my head;
"I'm going to fuck your ass until I blow." "Is that what your gay lover just whispered to you?"
"You're going to choke on my cock till I come down your throat." "It's hard to choke on something that small"
"I want to dump my load all over your pretty face." "Right after i dump a big turd on yours"
"You cunt slut, I wan to rape your ass." "Is that payback for the time you were ass raped?""RHP User
8 years ago
What a very mentally seductive post :O the d/s boundary can be a very fine line. Your post has a calming influence. Thank you for your words.
- Posted from rhpmobileRHP User
8 years ago
I almost laughed my wine through my nose! Thank you Darling! What a brilliant come back!
- Posted from rhpmobile
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