F55

Jesus Vrs Satan......

February 19 2010

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.Finally fed up, God said,"THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to give you a test that will run for two hours, and from the results, I will judge who does the better job." So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They faxed. They e-mailed. They e-mailed with attachments. They downloaded. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They created labels and cards. They created charts and graphs. They did some genealogy reports. They did every job known to man. Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell. Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: It's gone! It's all GONE!!" I lost everything when the power went out!" Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work. Satan observed this and became irate. Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?" God just shrugged and said, "Jesus saves ... "

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RHP User

16 years ago

THats a good one

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RHP User

16 years ago

While we are on the subject of Satan....I wonder what its Like In Hell.....One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with a demon.Demon: Why so glum?Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell!Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here you a drinking man?Guy: Sure, I love to drink.Demon: Well you re gonna love Mondays then. on Mondays that's all we do is drink. Wiskey, tequilla, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab and fresca we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more. Guy: Gee that sounds great.Demon: You a smoker?Guy: You better believe it!Demon: All right! You re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest Cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer no biggie-you're already dead, remember?Guy: Wow .that's awesome!Demon: I bet you like to gamble.Guy: why yes, as a matter of fact I do.Demon: Cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, Blackjack, Roulette,Poker,Slots,whatever ..If you go bankrupt .well, you're dead anyhow.Demon: You into drugs?Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean ..Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want you're dead who cares! O.D.!!Guy: WOW!! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!! Demon: You gay?Guy: No .Demon: Oooooh, You' re gonna hate Fridays.

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RHP User

16 years ago

Quoting 'Nudierudie2' While we are on the subject of Satan....I wonder what its Like In hell. i think it would be warm

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RHP User

16 years ago

Heya Nudie... That's a great sense of humour ya got there girl and great jokes too... "Oldies...but Goodies!"

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RHP User

16 years ago

Another good joke :)Sparty

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Jesus Vrs Satan......

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