F48
Its an art form
July 10 2011
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
I must say I'm (male) guilty of not listening once. Had a girl who gave me all the hints that I was doing things wrong in the relationship and what she wanted. I was young and after the break up I realised all the signs she had been putting out there. All those hints I missed. Now I have married a wonderful woman who is refeshingly honest. Yeah it hurts sometimes but I know where I stand and what pissed her off. Rather than pissing them off and getting to the point where the relationship doesn't work anymore and the other half gets a blind sided break up. How do you make it clear? Sit the guy down and say 'when you do this it really annoys me. Everytime you do it I love you a little less. Do it too much or do a lot of these things and I'm gone'. If a guy doesn't get that then he needs a punch in the face.... from you :-)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Interesting Q, FocusBest never to keep any secrets from your spouse (but what if she says doesn't want to know?)Best never to talk with you mouth full, like the lucky person in your profile pic FocusIf you want to have sex with me, pull it onceIf you don't, pull it 99 times LOL:)MrA
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RHP User
14 years ago
Ask him to repeat it back to you or as all women know. A man should sit there and listen to the words of wisdom that a woman may occasionally bestow on him and learn. :PI don't know Focus, I think both sexes are very good and hearing what they want to hear. How many times have you had a conversation and reached an understanding to only find out later that you were talking about different things. xxMeeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Occupational hazard really. Strange as many of you on the forums may find, people find me an easy person to talk to and a very restful person as well. People tell me things they would never tell another. I manage to get all the deep dark secrets. As for me getting my message across to them? I only tell people what I want them to know anyway and am very good at keeping my own counsel and my own secrets......as Focus is very aware. I have never been known to be backward at coming forward when it comes to someone understanding what I want them to understand. If all else fails......hammer the point home!
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RHP User
14 years ago
I guess you could ask them to sit a test. But we do that to people before they get a drivers license and that doesn't seem to be working... What I have found is that if someone doesn't understand you, you just need to say it more loudly... or at least that's the method many Aussies seem to use when they're overseas in a non-english speaking country.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Well.... in many of the situations I find myself in... people tend to gesticulate ... a lot. I haven't worked out why that is. Unless of course for some unknown reason, I attend a lot of events that are also attended by mutes. It amuses me no end.. because I always do something different to whatever it is they're trying to say without opening their mouths... I mean, they can stop, sucking for a second or two and just say it for fuck sake.. I won't mind! It's like they think they're fucking in a public library! Well.. that can happen too I suppose. Anyway.... to make my point... I am very disobedient when it comes to gesticulation... I basically force whoever it is to speak the words... I mean, just because we're naked and steamy doesn't mean we've lost the ability to have a conversation.HUGsS
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RHP User
14 years ago
... That it's best to try to get honest communication from your man right after he orgasms and just before he rolls over and falls asleep. Apparently male ejaculation brings about some kind of awesome clarity . Flirty x .
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RHP User
14 years ago
A rather ambiguous thing to say and many use this saying. Lately I have taken to asking...."what do you see?" Most of the time it is entirely different than what I have just said so I use the K.I.S.S. method. After all...they are only men...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Ladies seem to sometimes forget that men are not mind readers. We have no idea what you are thinking or feeling unless you tell us. An open dialogue is essential in any successful relationship and you need to be able to honestly and openly discuss anything and everything with each other. Remember guys, if you ask her "whats wrong babe?" and she says "nothing", you can bet your ass she means everything! If you ask "whats wrong babe?" and she says "EVERYTHING", you better not laugh your ass off! LOL (Mr)
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RHP User
14 years ago
let me see if I understand what you are all trying to tell me: 1. make the recipient of my conversation sit an exam - test their listening skills 2. speak very loudly (in non english speaking countries) 3. MrActive and Mikle are as big a perverts as I am 4. Stalky's mouth is usually to full to talk so he (and those around him) have developed their own form of sign language) 5. be honest (suprisingly enough this I am - I know a huge shock to you all) 6. If all else fails hit the recipient until they understand?? . So how did I go? . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think you are on to something here...whilst I think John Grey should be flogged for that damn book and we are not from other planets, it is possible that we speak a genetically based language entirely independant of the other sex? | Quoting 'foreverlove7985'Remember guys, if you ask her "whats wrong babe?" and she says "nothing", you can bet your ass she means everything! If you ask "whats wrong babe?" and she says "EVERYTHING", you better not laugh your ass off! LOL (Mr) | Don't need a translator for either of those...do you? Either way you know you are screwed and won't be if you even giggle. | Now the secret weapon...the Doomsday machine used to bring down Armageddon? The look at you and say "This is really important and.....oh never mind". The mind snaps...you look and try to at least pretend you care and say "No really...please go ahead". Then it really starts to bug you, it might be serious and you try and try again. Then about the time you are ready to scream... "Don't fucking DO this...you KNOW this is one of my pet peeves now goddamit, TELL me". | You have just been had by an expert. | The good news is...you really did listen and they sometimes they think it's "cute" when you blow your cool and listen, so you get some good make-up sex as soon as she shuts up and you can stop listening again. | ...just be sure to pretend that you cared.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think it is important to add that communicating the things you LIKE is as important as the things you don't. Telling someone you appreciated their gesture, or that you think they are funny/sexy/nice/smart/brave/etc is a key part of good communication. And not all communication needs to be verbal. Acts of kindness, electronic communication, looks, acts, and gestures are all effective ways of communication. All can be used to convey very positive messages, too. Listen to me, "Mr. Positive"...WTF got into me this afternoon?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Starts with being able to listen.Number 1 don’t judge or make assumptions.concentrate on what is being said, dose the body language reflect what is being said? It is interesting to note that 95 percent of communication is actually non-verbal. Non-verbal cues, or body language.Gain Feedback.Ask the right questions IE..“Are you saying…” or “Do you mean?Do not ask questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no as this can quickly stall any conversation.Paraphrasing is not used to clarify what the other person actually meant but to show what it meant to youUse “I” messages. These messages reflect their own views and rely on description rather than blame or criticism. By using an “I” message, the other person is less likely to become defensive and the message is more likely to be heard.Just some of the things i have learnt on the road to becoming an effective communicator
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RHP User
14 years ago
If i was to advise on the subject though - a club will get there attention..although please make it neanderthall style - l find this type of communication with the ifukingknoweverything teenage population best used from a young age. SINS
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RHP User
14 years ago
(Mr) Foreverlove - love your point about syaing 'nothing' when something is clearly wrong...I know I do that...but usually only after I have tried to explain what is actually wrong and the recipent of my whinge just isnt paying attention but if you start to bug me about it (especially after I have already explained myself) then you had better run because I am going to get grumpy. . Charles - thats my point ... how do you make sure your message is being communicated correctly?? That what is being heard is what is being said?? . CM - this is reallly important....oh never mind....mmmm make up sex....sorry what were you sayoing?? got a little distracted...could you repeat yourself??? . Sidd - Mr Positive you are very correct...not all communication is negative and we should communicate the good stuff as well as the bad ... there are times when I get the non verbal communication all mixed up...or if the body is saying one thing (well to me) but the voice another...now I am going to be confused....so tell me how do you make sure that what it is you want to say is being communicated properly? . Mikle - are you OK precious?? Gallery access is coming your way...I dont like to see a grown man sulk...(well not for too long anyway)...and I do so adore your sense of humour . Nudie - thanks for the tips for those on the receiving side....got any for those actually trying to get their message across and not knowing if they other person has understood??? . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Nudierudie2' Starts with being able to listen. ... Just some of the things i have learnt on the road to becoming an effective communicator I agree. This is the basis for a good ongoing relationship if thats what you are after but sometimes its ok to just enjoy the company of a lady without the expectation of it progressing to something long term.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Always works with the kids..... l Make the person look you in the eyes. Ask them to repeat what you have just said to them. But then again, grown men dont really like being treated like kiddies. (or embiciles )
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'stalky'I mean, just because we're naked and steamy doesn't mean we've lost the ability to have a conversation.HUGsS. LOL... yes you never shut up Stalkers.... mouth full or not, or so I noticed. A bit weird when the other person doesn't speak though. lmfao : ) . xx Meeks
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RHP User
14 years ago
Mr Foreverlove, woman are not mind readers either. That goes both ways. Generalising here I know, but seems like lots of men are happy to just go along and never discuss anything. Are men considered to be good communicators in general? Meeks
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'foreverlove7985'Ladies seem to sometimes forget that men are not mind readers. We have no idea what you are thinking or feeling unless you tell us. An open dialogue is essential in any successful relationship and you need to be able to honestly and openly discuss anything and everything with each other. Remember guys, if you ask her "whats wrong babe?" and she says "nothing", you can bet your ass she means everything! If you ask "whats wrong babe?" and she says "EVERYTHING", you better not laugh your ass off! LOL (Mr) LOL you've been well trained in woman reading love it
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RHP User
14 years ago
That would be right...they get you to beg and snivel and crawl...and you do listen hoping that the "make up sex" makes the whole degrading episode worth it. Imagine...not only actually listening but begging to be told.| Quoting 'focusliason' CM - this is reallly important....oh never mind....mmmm make up sex....sorry what were you sayoing?? got a little distracted...could you repeat yourself??? Now you see, right about here is where that awkward balance of power starts to change...ahh the chi of balance, so elusive. | "Now if I have told you once I have told you a thousand times that doing that is one of my pet peeves....so now that I have listened and understand your side, I think I need some me time so I am gong fishing with the guys. We can talk...about that make up sex after I get back". | Then head for the pub and come home drunk! | Angry sex anyone...it's hot too, and then you get the make up sex after that. Not a bad effort and if you have to listen... | ...make the most of it.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I (male) have a habit of stating things clearly once at work. If it goes unheard then they should have listened because i don't have time to follow everything up 1000 times. You'd be surprised how much better people listen once they get used to this way of communication.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Very true Meeka, it definitely goes both ways and yes men are not the greatest at communicating verbally. Maybe it's because males dont need to communicate verbally with each other very much. In the industry I work in we use hand signals, swearing, grunts and facial expressions as forms of communication and it works fine. You can work a full ten hour day without really speaking at all. LOL (Mr))
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'foreverlove7985' Ladies seem to sometimes forget that men are not mind readers. We have no idea what you are thinking or feeling unless you tell us. An open dialogue is essential in any successful relationship and you need to be able to honestly and openly discuss anything and everything with each other. Remember guys, if you ask her "whats wrong babe?" and she says "nothing", you can bet your ass she means everything! If you ask "whats wrong babe?" and she says "EVERYTHING", you better not laugh your ass off! LOL (Mr)I very much agree with you. A friend of mine was brutally honest with me, which (as want2tryUout said), hurt sometimes but is better than the alternative. We tried being a couple which didn't work. We remained friends as she said for all the wrongs, the conversation and connection we had was worth working on, and we could remain friends as long as I was honest.Not sure where we stand these days, so in my experience, communication is an art form that needs to be practiced. I had someone put up with a lot for when it was fantastic, these days we struggle for a variety of reason, but can have fantastic communications with other people, which annoys us.Seems like a rambling post but point in case is yes, I think communication is an art form. There is a point in case though.To someone who's not read the book, a movie can be fantastic, to those who have, not what they imagined. I'm more likely to keep, lend or recommend a book than a movie.IMO, the trick is to make sure that you keep communication like a good book, where you can relate to the characters and immerse yourself, but still be surprised and entertained in the next chapter. As much as I'm a bit of a tech-freak, I hate that TV and the Internet make the world feel so small and so little left unknown. I can see something but I just watch it, nothing more. If I read the same thing, it stimulates my mind and is more likely to become a memory or an entertaining mental excercise.I just get a bit paranoid I'm becoming a movie when I should be a book!/post (not sure if that should have been ramble/vent/other and I hope it makes sense to someone otehr than me) :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'foreverlove7985' In the industry I work in we use hand signals, swearing, grunts and facial expressions as forms of communication and it works fine. You can work a full ten hour day without really speaking at all. LOL (Mr)) Sounds fabulous, do you work in the porn industry? Well I work in an office of all women, and that has been a revelation. We will often go around the table in team meetings to discuss how we FEEL and often someone can be interrupted in the middle of something very important just to be told that "Those earings / stockings / boots / dress is fabulous" How do I feel ? Well at the moment I feel like a root luv. xxMeeks
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'D_G_T' LOL you've been well trained in woman reading ...Now we just have to work on his listening skills... or maybe memory - since he seems to have a memory like a goldfish! LOL ... Quoting 'Meeka100' Sounds fabulous, do you work in the porn industry? Ha! He wishes... Although, some of the stories I hear... you'd think there was something of that sort going on! (MRS)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Mr Foreverlove, woman are not mind readers either. That goes both ways. Generalising here I know, but seems like lots of men are happy to just go along and never discuss anything. Are men considered to be good communicators in general? Meeks A truer word never spoken IMO. No matter how much you try to sit down and talk, the number of questions asked it can be like pulling teeth at times...but its expected that we dont hold things in because they arent mind readers.....hmmm...ok now I am confused... . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Are men considered to be good communicators in general? Yes, men can communicate very well with other men - the problem is that men and women don't communicate particularly well together. Both sexes regularly question the ability of the other to communicate - that's not surprising as we're fundamentally different creatures.
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RHP User
14 years ago
How do we fix this?? Quoting 'Snowshoe' Yes, men can communicate very well with other men - the problem is that men and women don't communicate particularly well together. Both sexes regularly question the ability of the other to communicate - that's not surprising as we're fundamentally different creatures. How can we try and better our communication skills with those of the opposite gender? , Kisses Focus
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'focusliason' How can we try and better our communication skills with those of the opposite gender? Feel free to write this off as the ramblings of an amateur pop psychologist, as it's based on observation, not expertise. If it sounds dogmatic, it's just because I didn't want to type "it seems to me" and "I think" over and over - it's not that I think I've got all the answers.The issue is the process of discussion that men and women employ is very different. Leaving aside the outcome, a discussion between two men involves an element of ego. Irrespective of their positions on the topic, men have a need to feel as though they weren't dominated in the exchange. A man who is a good communicator can get his position across without there being a cost to the other man - he is able to be right in the discussion without scoring what could be pretty easy points. If a man feels as though cheap points are being scored against him, he will try hitting back. This is often at the expense of a good outcome, but recognising this, the scorer of the cheap points often retreats, making a reasonable outcome possible.Women have there own issues. Two women discussing something amicably will also focus on their process. For them, the end result can sometimes be clouded by the process that they arrive at it. If the relationship with the other woman is important to them, they'll sometimes compromise their position not because they lack assertiveness, but because the process of arriving at a decision that they can both live with is important, despite seeming to be peripheral. It's not unusual for two women to discuss something and come away both vaguely unhappy with the outcome - if you asked them why they went along with the decision, they may both tell you that they don't know. That's not an indictment, it shows that they value the big picture over this particular issue, which is admirable and sensible.The very different processes that we employ mean that men approach communication with women with trepidation. We're more comfortable with a more head-banging approach, but women see that as a complete sabotage of their process. The different processes manifest as the stereotypes of "men are stupid" and "women expect you to be a mind reader" but that's too simplistic, I think. So how do men and women communicate effectively? Fucked if I know. :-) Still, I've got to take a shot at it. I suppose the best way to communicate effectively would be to try to remove our respective processes from the equation and concentrate on the issue. Men need to try to forget that this isn't a negotiation to be won and to consider the fact that the woman may be agreeing to something when she really doesn't want to. Conversely, women need to try to separate this particular issue from the rest of the relationship, so seek an outcome that really does work for them. They need to try to be as clear as possible without making the man feel as though he's being scored against, as he'll be far more sensitive to that coming from a woman than from a man - it's a very bad strategy.It takes a conscious effort by both parties... which might be the best indicator that this is on the right track. It's nobody's fault, any more than two people having to communicate in different languages is the fault of either. Men and women are fundamentally reasonable creatures, so if we can separate the baggage of our process from the issue that we're trying to discuss, it would seem that we should be able to communicate effectively.You did ask. All the best, Sigmund Fraud
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RHP User
14 years ago
hmmm let me lie down on your couch for a while and discuss this further . So if we step away from the process of communication that each gender employs and just scream and yell at each other will that work??? . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'foreverlove7985' Quoting 'D_G_T' LOL you've been well trained in woman reading ...Now we just have to work on his listening skills... or maybe memory - since he seems to have a memory like a goldfish! LOL ... Bullshit, I've got a memory like......Damn,...... what are they called again?...............Those massive grey animals with the big ears?.............Hang on,..... I'll google it...............yep, Elephant. I've got a memory like an elephant! (Mr) Quoting 'Meeka100' Sounds fabulous, do you work in the porn industry? Ha! He wishes... Although, some of the stories I hear... you'd think there was something of that sort going on! (MRS)And you're the one who fucks like a pornstar Mrs foreverlove! x
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RHP User
14 years ago
So basically your ramblings are saying that in a man to man conversation...there is one winner. One gets his way, his point of view across and if it is done so aggressively then the winner can swagger off happily. In a woman to woman conversation...the women can and will compromise for the sake of the relationship...even is the compromise does not make each completely happy? l I was right then...state what you want, clearly, slowly and using words no bigger than two syllables...then hammer the point home.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee' So basically your ramblings are saying that in a man to man conversation...there is one winner. One gets his way, his point of view across and if it is done so aggressively then the winner can swagger off happily. In a woman to woman conversation...the women can and will compromise for the sake of the relationship...even is the compromise does not make each completely happy? l I was right then...state what you want, clearly, slowly and using words no bigger than two syllables...then hammer the point home. There isn't just one winner in man to man discussion, it's more that consensus is arrived at more by banging heads than by respectful and mutual compromise. Contrary to what you suggest, men are not less intelligent or capable of arriving at a decision that both can live with. Hammering the point home is the worst thing you can do. Rob us of our dignity and you'll encounter backlash no matter what we really think of the issue. What you suggest is the absolute antithesis of right.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I can see the problem here , why a lot of the single guys don,t get as much sex , as they should.Rule one , don,t listen to woman , for the frist ten times she tell you anything , If it,s realy important to her , she tell you the next day after a night of great sex. Try it ,it does work (-: woman are just like men alot of the time the little things don,t matter after great sex. But don,t worry if they do , they will tell you (-:Again & again & again , So then you sooo tried ,that you can,t move from havimng sex , Just say O very good point , we should do that , O btw can you get me a coffee so we can talk more about it .lolThis way I get my coffee in bed with out having to cry for it & she happy to do it , every ones happy. For the dumb people it,s Mr here (-: yes I know I going to hell , but they know me there (-:
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think two people can just understand each other... simple as that. Fair that there's gotta be some kind of connection... a meeting of the minds so to speak... but then not everything needs to be said... you both just know... there's no need for a nod or a wink... you just know... and you know that they know. It's like making improvised music.. it just feels right and you both know.An difference of opinion requires a different approach. Some people are subject to co-ercion... and some require a kick in the pants... some refuse to listen and some don't want to learn... the challenge is recognising those traits in yourself and asking yourself if that trait is most appropriate in the circumstances. It's hard to be humble when you're perfect in every way. Humility is an important virtue... and knowing when to be humble and when to be assertive is one of the most important social lessons a person can learn to master. People who do master it always seem to be so graceful.. I just want to lick them all over... it's dead sexy!HugsStalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee'I was right then...state what you want, clearly, slowly and using words no bigger than two syllables...then hammer the point home. I was thinking more about what you said and I think my previous answer requires expansion. It takes more than just talking like a man - first you need to establish that you're willing to adopt our process. If it was easy to convince us that you're able to deal that way and if you yourself were that able to suppress your own instinctual process, communication problems wouldn't occur. It takes more than just "talking like men do" - we're not used to dealing with women the way we men deal with each other.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' I think two people can just understand each other... simple as that. Fair that there's gotta be some kind of connection... a meeting of the minds so to speak... but then not everything needs to be said... you both just know... there's no need for a nod or a wink... you just know... and you know that they know. It's like making improvised music.. it just feels right and you both know Ah Stalky, you're talking about love, you big sook!In terms of my theory, there is such a high degree of trust that both sides are able to abandon their respective instinctual process of communication. With the abandonment of process, simple communication becomes... simple. It's a lovely feeling, but it's not something we can foster with just anyone.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I agree with you Snowshoe, I think Stalky's comment is a such boy thing to say as well. What's a bet that the nod and wink and you just "know" is completely misinterpreted by the other person. So how do you know you are really on the same page. Unless you are talking about two blokes, maybe. xxMeeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Snowshoe' Quoting 'fionabee'I was right then...state what you want, clearly, slowly and using words no bigger than two syllables...then hammer the point home. I was thinking more about what you said and I think my previous answer requires expansion. It takes more than just talking like a man - first you need to establish that you're willing to adopt our process. If it was easy to convince us that you're able to deal that way and if you yourself were that able to suppress your own instinctual process, communication problems wouldn't occur. It takes more than just "talking like men do" - we're not used to dealing with women the way we men deal with each other. I hope you do realise that any seemingly incendary comments I am making are actually tongue in cheek? I do realise that communication is the hardest part of any realtionship albeit work, friendship, casual, sexual or any other to get right. Having worked in an all male environment for many years, I have no problems getting my message across at all. I state simply and clearly what I want, how I expect things to pan out, why (if questioned) and then excpect the desired result. I think that it doesnt matter what process anyone adopts when it comes to communication. There are always going to be breakdowns in the process for the simple reason that we are all individuals. We have our own ideas, shaped by our own experiences. Many only hear what we want to hear based on past experiences. We formulate our own ideas about what we (or others) want and act accordingly. Many are just too damn stubborn (me included) for thier own good and some allow others to bully, cajole or walk all over them for the sake of peace. It can never be as easy as Men are from Mars, Women are from Uranus. Each time you try to communicate with someone it will be different and different situations will occur due to our own unique individuality regardless of their gender. Personally I find no difference in gender communication. Admittedly, talking generalisations, men have a more direct approach to problem solving. They think in straight lines. Women think more about the periferal problems...they think in circles to the end result. There are exceptions to every rule.
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RHP User
14 years ago
The easiest way to make sure that the message is understood loud and clear is to ask and clarify..... "Do you understand what I mean?" suposing you get the answer.. "yes" "Tell me what you think I meant" l it is the same as the comment "I see" "What do you see?"
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RHP User
14 years ago
You know Fiona, it hasn't been that long since women didn't have a voice....which doesn't say much for our society or the development of interpersonal relationships, but hopefully we will continue to work on it. That is where I think the man from Mars missed Venus by a long shot...instead of embracing the differences and celebrating them...a dividing line was drawn that would indicate that we are combatants. Of course, it does lend itself to throwing your hands up in the air and saying "I will never understand you" ...but maybe we can if we try.|As for touting "what men do", it's probably best to use that as a bad example rather than a model...some men actually start hurling insults, berate your culture or make assumptions...we know what that word "assume" can do to you. If that's what men do when they talk to other men...take it for a miss.|One of the simplest models that I understand is based on making a "buying" decision or in this case, a "buy in" decision where the emotions of need and want are justified rationally to come to a conclusion that we can live with or accept. When these emotions tip the scales...with the decision made when what we want exceeds what we need and can be accepted as rational, we are happy with the outcome. For example, if two people both need and want to be right, regardless of the outcome and with no hope of resolution...you're in for a battle. If what you need is to be heard and what you want is to be understood, you may then have the opportunity for discussion and mediation...maybe even an outcome that you both can rationalize as equitable to all. If what you need is to express you wants and have no intention of negotiation...you are right back in the same mine field again. Men tend to but not always (generalizations are the dominion of fools) express what they need with more clarity than what they want...it's been ingrained culturally for a long time. Women tend to but not always (repeat preceding) express what they want with more clarity...that too is cultural and if anything the change has caused a communications contraction, throwing the scales off balance yet again.|Are we from different planets with no hope of being able to communicate? I don't think so, we are all people regardless of whether we are male or female. We want what we want when we want it...and most often get what we need if we are willing to be flexible and discuss solutions rather than continue to want to be right all the time. None of us ever are...damn, I hate that part. |Last thought...whether you were born on the soils of Mars or Venus really doesn’t matter much at all, and not much will happen until you get your head out of Uranus. That's just my very humble view...|...but it keeps me Jung at heart. | | The last time you bought a large ticket item...you wanted it and it was rational to buy.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee'I think that it doesnt matter what process anyone adopts when it comes to communication. There are always going to be breakdowns in the process for the simple reason that we are all individuals. We have our own ideas, shaped by our own experiences. Many only hear what we want to hear based on past experiences. We formulate our own ideas about what we (or others) want and act accordingly. Many are just too damn stubborn (me included) for thier own good and some allow others to bully, cajole or walk all over them for the sake of peace. It can never be as easy as Men are from Mars, Women are from Uranus. Each time you try to communicate with someone it will be different and different situations will occur due to our own unique individuality regardless of their gender.Although the OP didn't specify, I assumed that we were talking predominately about personal relationships. If you add another layer such as a work hierarchy, it gets considerably harder to separate the issues. Communication with a boss can be clear, but as dictatorial as being told where to go by Google Maps - that's not really communication. It's also true that we all infuse communication with our own personality and experience, but do you really feel that there's no communication gap between the genders?I like to think that I have a respectable ability to communicate with women, but there are times when I know that no matter how hard I think about it, I'm just not going to get why she felt the way she did. I'm not alone - all my mates run into the same thing at some point. There are times when we just don't get you... then women think that we're being obtuse or stupid.PS - I didn't say women were from Uranus - that's just my favourite planet name, especially the traditional pronunciation. Also, my tongue-in-cheek-ometer is working fine, but thanks for asking...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' Men tend to but not always (generalizations are the dominion of fools) express what they need with more clarity than what they want...it's been ingrained culturally for a long time. Women tend to but not always (repeat preceding) express what they want with more clarity...that too is cultural and if anything the change has caused a communications contraction, throwing the scales off balance yet again.I certainly don't buy that our styles of communication are cultural - any anthropologist would tell you that the same issues occur from the pinnacles of society to the Amazonian rainforest. Suggesting that communication issues are cultural implies that they should be easily solved by a rational species, so is insulting to men and women alike. What possible cultural objective would miscommunication serve? If none, why would we do it?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Perhaps a singular albeit interpretive word out of place. I agree that it has been done since the days of the hunters and gatherers does perhaps make it a part of the "culture" of the species. As to why...that could lend itself to discussion ranging from the timeframe for the parametres of societal paradigms to change to the notional concept that we as a species are self-destructive. You tell me...no one has the answers to everything and no one is ever right all the time. | Damn....I hate that.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' Perhaps a singular albeit interpretive word out of place. I agree that it has been done since the days of the hunters and gatherers does perhaps make it a part of the "culture" of the species. As to why...that could lend itself to discussion ranging from the timeframe for the parametres of societal paradigms to change to the notional concept that we as a species are self-destructive. You tell me...no one has the answers to everything and no one is ever right all the time. | Damn....I hate that. It's parameters. Furthermore, that's a fancy way of making an airy-fairy statement suggesting humans are self-destructive by nature. I don't believe that to be the case at all. . However, as is usually the case when people get onto discussing social theory, we all get stuck into criticims rather than explanations. The answers lie in the brain. Perhaps if people studied the differences that predominantly exist between the brain of the male and the female, they might be better placed to embrace and celebrate the differences as you said in your other post further up. .. I haven't bought into this topic too much so far, on purpose. As a strong communicator and someone who could talk underwater with marbles in their mouth, I thought I might perhaps practice my listening (or in this case, reading) skills this time instead. However I just couldn't resist piping up at this point *eyeroll* I'll sit down again now, I'm done. ... Flirty x . PS. I thought you weren't going to throw Tolstoys about the place anymore!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Rather than it being the result of a male dominated society or a cultural (however you define that) remnant, I suspect that as it's such a persistent and consistently occurring human trait, it must be genetic and must therefore somehow provide some sort of overall fitness for purpose. My guess would be that genetically, we're well served by keeping the sexes slightly apart and providing us with the tools to most effectively communicate with those of our respective genders.A genetic reason seems likely to me, but I'm only speculating on what the actual reason might be. Either way, I think the cause for communication issues between genders is only really relevant in providing information as to how ingrained this behaviour is. If our communication issues are genetic, overcoming them involves accepting our differences and considerably more than just expressing a will not to succumb to them.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem'However, as is usually the case when people get onto discussing social theory, we all get stuck into criticims rather than explanations. The answers lie in the brain. Perhaps if people studied the differences that predominantly exist between the brain of the male and the female, they might be better placed to embrace and celebrate the differences as you said in your other post further up. Mmmmm, you just gave my brain a chubby...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Snowshoe - Male brain. Flirty - Female brain. . ... Or do you prefer me on top?
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RHP User
14 years ago
You are hereby awarded a PhD in Bovine Fecal Massology and can now a licensed franchisee to distribute you version of whatever you like with the same credibility as anyone else that has ever been to university. Short form...it's all bullshit and I was just trying to see if I could type three short paragraphs in a row without mentioning sex.|Okay, so parameters...you know I don't speak or write like one of the subjects of her majesty but at least I tried to blend into the crowd. | Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' I haven't bought into this topic too much so far, on purpose.||PS - Be glad I am not hanging with Tolstoy's boys, you know his subjective muse...they would have taken you out back and had you stand against a brick wall for using construction and syntax like that in a sentence. Good thing I speak female to some extent which puts this topic back on track and I can ride off into the sunset with the outlaws that hijacked it. |Now on my search for a woman with great legs and nice shoes.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' Snowshoe - Male brain. Flirty - Female brain. . ... Or do you prefer me on top? I don't know - maybe we could try a couple of times each way?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Snowshoe' Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem'However, as is usually the case when people get onto discussing social theory, we all get stuck into criticims rather than explanations. The answers lie in the brain. Perhaps if people studied the differences that predominantly exist between the brain of the male and the female, they might be better placed to embrace and celebrate the differences as you said in your other post further up. Mmmmm, you just gave my brain a chubby... She actually has one of the sexiest brains around these parts...she just plays it down so much, that only tricky people notice She's just plain old lubbly
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'D_G_T' Quoting 'Snowshoe' Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem'However, as is usually the case when people get onto discussing social theory, we all get stuck into criticims rather than explanations. The answers lie in the brain. Perhaps if people studied the differences that predominantly exist between the brain of the male and the female, they might be better placed to embrace and celebrate the differences as you said in your other post further up. Mmmmm, you just gave my brain a chubby... She actually has one of the sexiest brains around these parts...she just plays it down so much, that only tricky people notice She's just plain old lubbly You're ovulating aren't you DGT??? *knowing wink* .
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RHP User
14 years ago
How did you know yep, and you are the obvious target of my picky eggs tonight feeling all girly n mushy
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight'You are hereby awarded a PhD in Bovine Fecal Massology and can now a licensed franchisee to distribute you version of whatever you like with the same credibility as anyone else that has ever been to university. Short form...it's all bullshit and I was just trying to see if I could type three short paragraphs in a row without mentioning sex.|Okay, so parameters...you know I don't speak or write like one of the subjects of her majesty but at least I tried to blend into the crowd. | Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' I haven't bought into this topic too much so far, on purpose.||PS - Be glad I am not hanging with Tolstoy's boys, you know his subjective muse...they would have taken you out back and had you stand against a brick wall for using construction and syntax like that in a sentence. Good thing I speak female to some extent which puts this topic back on track and I can ride off into the sunset with the outlaws that hijacked it. |Now on my search for a woman with great legs and nice shoes. The art of telling someone to f**k off in such a way that they look forward to the journey! .. You know me well enough to know that the incorrect placement of the comma was a direct consequence of me pausing for breath! If one keeps something in one's mouth too long without coming up for air, sooner or later, there'll either be a whole lotta gasping or some very unladylike gagging going on! . God, this waiting for your posts to be approved must be tying you in knots!! .. .. ... Good thing I have DGT all keen to cut loose some eggs with me! Sometimes actions speak so much louder than poorly spelt Yankee words! We, the awesome female of our species, tend to prefer the more direct form of communication.
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RHP User
14 years ago
and the whole beauty of it is......we dont even have to impress in a "howdy do' kinda way.....we can just reach over and lay a soft finger on another girls' skin, look in her eyes , and say.......I've had enough of the hairy ones fuck I had ya goin' didnt I? no ... but its true. All communication and all our female frustration at men "just not fucking listening or taking us seriously" pales in significance when we (as in us girls) lay a finger or two on each other. So ya know what boys? fucking behave yourselves before you become obsolete
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RHP User
14 years ago
Especially when it was't really mine to deal with in the first place...even with enough in hand corroborated evidence and first hand knowledge that, if equivocated could have put OJ behind bars. | Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' God, this waiting for your posts to be approved must be tying you in knots!! | Oh well...you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs, right? Leave it with you and Mme DGT and I like mine with real Swiss cheese and fresh Matsutake mushrooms. | Enjoy the show... | | I think it's pretty fucking rude...and less than impressed when it keeps coming up.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think if you are worried that you are not being understood, then chances are you probably right... easiest way to know if the other party is picking up what you are putting down is to - Ask :) "hey, what do you think about what I just said?" - feedback is a great way to see how your message was actually perceived.If all else fails...Draw them a picture.... bahaha! I am sure Etch-a-sketches are on sale somewhere with all those crazy Toy Sales going on at the moment... lol!;)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'D_G_T'All communication and all our female frustration at men "just not fucking listening or taking us seriously" pales in significance when we (as in us girls) lay a finger or two on each other. So ya know what boys? fucking behave yourselves before you become obsolete Ha ha, you don't scare me! If you could have done away with us, it would have happened long, long ago. You girls together might make for some low frustration fun, but at the end of the day you know you still ache for a bit of monkey lovin'. You put up with our shit because deep down, you can't do without us... just as we can't do without you. Nice try though...
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RHP User
14 years ago
yeah it's true Snowshoe, farkin el I snorted when I read Monkey lovin thats some funny stuff
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RHP User
14 years ago
and have ben enjoying the discussion so far - and have honestly learnt a few things . Thanks for everyones help in this . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' You are hereby awarded a PhD in Bovine Fecal Massology and can now a licensed franchisee to distribute you version of whatever you like with the same credibility as anyone else that has ever been to university.I didn't get past year 10, so I assume that I've only got some sort of certificate rather than a PhD. Under the circumstances, I'm not sure whether that's more valuable or less...
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RHP User
14 years ago
A book by Robert Fulghum... | Quoting 'Snowshoe'I didn't get past year 10, so I assume that I've only got some sort of certificate rather than a PhD. Under the circumstances, I'm not sure whether that's more valuable or less... | As for the rest, I just considered all of it as an extended course in sex education and if you hang around long enough you learn a bit...and they finally kick you out with few pieces of paper. | BS...we know what that is. MS...is More of the Same. PhD...Piled Higher and Deeper or so they say. Actually I think I learned more in the Boy Scouts...they taught me how to tie knots, something I appreciate even today. | The University of Grenada Online gives credits for "Life Experience Learning" and for only $89.95 plus postage, I think we all might qualify for a PhD. | I just wish "I had known then what I know now"...my kindergarten teacher was only about 22 and hot. Sure, I was only 5 at the time but you just never know about these Cougars these days. Some of them have been known to drop down a couple of decades you know. | Teach your children well.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' Especially when it was't really mine to deal with in the first place...even with enough in hand corroborated evidence and first hand knowledge that, if equivocated could have put OJ behind bars. | Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' God, this waiting for your posts to be approved must be tying you in knots!! | Oh well...you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs, right? Leave it with you and Mme DGT and I like mine with real Swiss cheese and fresh Matsutake mushrooms. | Enjoy the show... | | I think it's pretty fucking rude...and less than impressed when it keeps coming up. Swiss cheese is fine, but must we go with fancy mushrooms? Isn't a mushroom a mushroom? Or am I letting my social class show through the cracks again? *smirk* ... Can we add some kind of meat too please? . I hereby promise not to get it up again. Infact, I think it might be safer that way
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RHP User
14 years ago
Thanks, but I am sure that with my disgracefully incorrigible nature and recalcitrant behaviour...it will probably be next Tuesday before it comes up again in another one of my own posts, if at all. If it makes people laugh...all the better. | Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' Swiss cheese is fine, but must we go with fancy mushrooms? Isn't a mushroom a mushroom? Can we add some kind of meat too please? I hereby promise not to get it up again. Infact, I think it might be safer that way... Happy to settle for Jarlsberg swiss aged to perfection with the moisture still inside the holes as you slice it...and don't worry about the Matsutakes, they are just pine mushrooms that used to grow wild back home. I'm happy with your garden variety King Bolete grade A thin sliced or even a handful of golden chanterelles. | As for the meat...I thought you just promised not to get it up again? Nothing is worse than limp meat in an omelette...unless of course it's seafood. Damn...wish I had not given up pearl diving, I could have grabbed a lobster when I went down. | I won't mention crabs...those are not nice in anyone's omelette. | | Might just go have a play quietly in the corner with my toys...bad CM bad.
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RHP User
14 years ago
. Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' Especially when it was't really mine to deal with in the first place...even with enough in hand corroborated evidence and first hand knowledge that, if equivocated could have put OJ behind bars. | Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' God, this waiting for your posts to be approved must be tying you in knots!! | Oh well...you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs, right? Leave it with you and Mme DGT and I like mine with real Swiss cheese and fresh Matsutake mushrooms. | Enjoy the show... | | I think it's pretty fucking rude...and less than impressed when it keeps coming up. Swiss cheese is fine, but must we go with fancy mushrooms? Isn't a mushroom a mushroom? Or am I letting my social class show through the cracks again? *smirk* ... Can we add some kind of meat too please? . I hereby promise not to get it up again. Infact, I think it might be safer that way Mushrooms definitely aren't mushrooms! The more fun they are, the worse they taste.. lol or so I've heard (Mr)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'foreverlove7985' . Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' Swiss cheese is fine, but must we go with fancy mushrooms? Isn't a mushroom a mushroom? Or am I letting my social class show through the cracks again? *smirk* ... Can we add some kind of meat too please? Mushrooms definitely aren't mushrooms! The more fun they are, the worse they taste.. lol or so I've heard (Mr)I have heard this also *giggle*
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RHP User
14 years ago
Ahhh the legendary rancher's omelette with cheese (who cares what kind) meat (of some sort) and lots and lots and lots of Liberty Bell mushrooms. Let's not tell Flirty while she's in the kitchen about the one's out in the paddock that seem to thrive on bull and sheep fecal mass? And how good is this... "In all states other than California in the USA, it's not illegal to just sell the spores, but selling them with the purpose of producing hallucinogenic mushrooms is illegal". || Quoting 'foreverlove7985' Mushrooms definitely aren't mushrooms! The more fun they are, the worse they taste.. | So just like that fairy tale about Jack and the Bean Stalk...just chuck them out the window and in a couple of days you should be able to climb right up into the clouds...or so I have heard. As for the purpose or intent...I was trying to grow a cow for mum to replace the one I traded for this bag of whatever these things are...or so the story goes. | No mum don't make me eat those, you know I prefer the tea... | ...and don't panic if it's organic. | | No wonder my four mothers and four fathers cracked the damn bell.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem'Nah, if you knew me, you'd know it is actually much easier to make jokes about me having studied Economics!! . I don't really want to take the piss out of this book I'm reading. It's really quite fascinating and I don't know how quick the very intelligent man who gave it to me read it, but I'm really enjoying it. I don't think it was written specifically for women, infact I doubt it was. It contains too much science and less airy-fairy self-help crap. . Oh, and no, I don't necessarily think the communication forum is running parallel with the content of the book. Nobody is making fools of themselves. Although in saying that, it's casting male-female interaction into a new light for me, which was what my comment about celebrating our differences was in reference to. It's easy to make jokes about anyone studying Economics, isn't it?I hope the book you're reading isn't 'Brainsex'. It started quite promisingly, covering the impact of hormonal flushes to the brains of embryos at six weeks, when gender is established. It ended as a politically correct apology for the differences in the workplace between the sexes. I pointed out some of the points that I most stridently objected to to the friend who loaned the book to me (but had not read it) and then with her permission, I tore it into sections and put it in the recycling, permanently removing that copy from circulation.I definitely agree that we should celebrate the differences between us - they surely make contribute to the attraction between the sexes. They don't make it any easier to communicate though, do they?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Snowshoe' Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem'Nah, if you knew me, you'd know it is actually much easier to make jokes about me having studied Economics!! . I don't really want to take the piss out of this book I'm reading. It's really quite fascinating and I don't know how quick the very intelligent man who gave it to me read it, but I'm really enjoying it. I don't think it was written specifically for women, infact I doubt it was. It contains too much science and less airy-fairy self-help crap. . Oh, and no, I don't necessarily think the communication forum is running parallel with the content of the book. Nobody is making fools of themselves. Although in saying that, it's casting male-female interaction into a new light for me, which was what my comment about celebrating our differences was in reference to. It's easy to make jokes about anyone studying Economics, isn't it?I hope the book you're reading isn't 'Brainsex'. It started quite promisingly, covering the impact of hormonal flushes to the brains of embryos at six weeks, when gender is established. It ended as a politically correct apology for the differences in the workplace between the sexes. I pointed out some of the points that I most stridently objected to to the friend who loaned the book to me (but had not read it) and then with her permission, I tore it into sections and put it in the recycling, permanently removing that copy from circulation.I definitely agree that we should celebrate the differences between us - they surely make contribute to the attraction between the sexes. They don't make it any easier to communicate though, do they? ... No, it's not Brainsex. Although I'm really only about four chapters into it, my brain is definitely getting excited by it - I can get a little nerdy about this stuff. I like to understand what makes us tick. It does discuss the hormonal influences at time of conception and goes from conception through to the final years I think. I don't think it's designed to take a combatant approach, more present the scientific differences between genders. This author has also written another separate book on the female brain and I will read that next. . Yes, we should celebrate our differences. Too often, you see people bandying about (here and IRL) common cliches about "all men being liars" and "all women think is that we just want to get into their pants" and I think statements like that are a copout and just demonstrate a sheep mentality or a social (or parental) conditioning. . We teach people how to treat us. Perhaps our differences can make communication a challenge. I am communication's biggest fan. I tell it like it is and if anything, I communicate too much sometimes. I hold some very strong opinions on 'stuff' but I always attempt to make sure it's as educated an opinion as I can. I don't find communication difficult because I enjoy it. I like people in general and I like understanding where and how they form the opinions that they hold. . I think Focus's original question related to personal relationships (although I can't be certain) and they can certainly be challenging because emotion is usually involved and that makes your investment in whatever you're communicating about much greater. I suppose it can make communication very raw at times.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem'No, it's not Brainsex. Although I'm really only about four chapters into it, my brain is definitely getting excited by it - I can get a little nerdy about this stuff. I like to understand what makes us tick. It does discuss the hormonal influences at time of conception and goes from conception through to the final years I think. I don't think it's designed to take a combatant approach, more present the scientific differences between genders. This author has also written another separate book on the female brain and I will read that next. . Yes, we should celebrate our differences. Too often, you see people bandying about (here and IRL) common cliches about "all men being liars" and "all women think is that we just want to get into their pants" and I think statements like that are a copout and just demonstrate a sheep mentality or a social (or parental) conditioning. . We teach people how to treat us. Perhaps our differences can make communication a challenge. I am communication's biggest fan. I tell it like it is and if anything, I communicate too much sometimes. I hold some very strong opinions on 'stuff' but I always attempt to make sure it's as educated an opinion as I can. I don't find communication difficult because I enjoy it. I like people in general and I like understanding where and how they form the opinions that they hold. . I think Focus's original question related to personal relationships (although I can't be certain) and they can certainly be challenging because emotion is usually involved and that makes your investment in whatever you're communicating about much greater. I suppose it can make communication very raw at times. Do you mind mentioning the name of the book? I get caught up in that sort of thing too, and love when any sort of scientific framework can be even loosely applied to why we are the way we are. I sound like a broken record having mentioned this book before here, but I recommend 'The Moral Animal' by Robert Wright. It deals with evolutionary psychology, which maintains that our psyche evolves just as our physical characteristics have. Those who have traits such as good social or communicative skills, an ability to work and play well with others, an altruistic nature, etc. that make them more attractive to the other sex are more likely to procreate, just as those with perfect bodies and good looks are. It also provides the tools to consider a given situation, allowing you to ask "what motivated that reaction" (in yourself or others), so can be quite a confronting read. Celebrating our differences can be a fine line - recognising that we are different allows the cliches to roll off our tongues too easily sometimes. I suppose some criteria for whether something is a difference or a cliche is whether it really applies universally and the intent with which it's delivered. If the statement "all men are liars" was true, then clearly men wouldn't have the ability to be truthful, so shouldn't be castigated for something that we have no control over. As a statement of fact it would have some chance, but as a remonstration it seems to fail a test of formal logic.Like you, I find communication fascinating. Just as playing sport against someone better than myself often brings out the best in my game, finding someone with a strong and clear mind can make for some fantastic times. Even contrary opinions well held can be fascinating to explore - my parents are both strong thinkers and when I was a teenager, we used to routinely take opposite sides on any kind of topic, whether we believed the position that we held or not. Considering ideas that we think go against what we'd like to believe is a great exercise.It's interesting that you and I seem to hold very similar ideas about communication at a higher level, yet accept that relationship discussions between a man and woman always have the potential for misunderstanding and confusion. Given how ingrained the differences seem to be, perhaps the best we can hope for is to treat the symptoms? As the symptoms are seasoned with emotion, hurt, pride, envy and ego, can we even expect to have much luck with treating them? Is it too pessimistic to suggest that there is no cure?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' PhD...Piled Higher and Deeper or so they say.Oh, I though PhD stood for....Please Harder and Deeper.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Don't tell...or PMS Julia may just revoke the HEX scheme for higher education... | Quoting 'breezee' Oh, I though PhD stood for....Please Harder and Deeper. Begin Slowly, Move Steadily, Pounding Hard and Deep. | ....I really do miss being a Uni student.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee' The easiest way to make sure that the message is understood loud and clear is to ask and clarify..... "Do you understand what I mean?" suposing you get the answer.. "yes" "Tell me what you think I meant" l it is the same as the comment "I see" "What do you see?" lol, guilty as charged."I see"...... "What do you see?" ....... hmmm...... "I see a way to respond to what you just said without really saying anything or offending you" :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Not sure about real life but certainly on the forums..don't use big words..you will upset the minimalist academic(s) lol... KISS or Keep It Simple Stupid.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I sometimes refer to myself as being both contumacious and recalcitrant. | Quoting 'CrackUp'Not sure about real life but certainly on the forums..don't use big words..you will upset the minimalist academic(s) lol... | The next thing I know, some bastard is calling me arrogant and supercilious...just how rude is that? Oh well, like Lincoln said, you can please none of the people all of the time or something like that? Not sure who the comedienne was, but I will misquote him anyway... | ...joke 'em if they can't take a fuck.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I've been known to be libidinous and fairly concuspient on occasion ... May I please join this club you speak of? O:-) Flirty x
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' I've been known to be libidinous and fairly concuspient on occasion ... May I please join this club you speak of? O:-) Flirty x I've been accused of being onxopitus and enfalious - can I play too?
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RHP User
14 years ago
The recidivists enjoy the crime and from here on...I am absolutely not responsible for any dipsomaniacal behavior, albeit if in the morning I find myself in dystopia, I know who to blame. | ...Flirty did it.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' The recidivists enjoy the crime and from here on...I am absolutely not responsible for any dipsomaniacal behavior, albeit if in the morning I find myself in dystopia, I know who to blame. | ...Flirty did it. . . .BITE ME! Or, if you prefer, simply lacerate me with the hard bony structures set in your jaw
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RHP User
14 years ago
My extrinsic expectations... | Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' BITE ME! Or, if you prefer, simply lacerate me with the hard bony structures set in your jaw ...or just esoteric evisceration. | ....those white label store brands never taste the same.
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RHP User
14 years ago
nice comment flirty bi fem ,got a laugh out of that, its simple, be honest be direct, if they cant handle it then you'll know they are the right person for you, been through that long obstacle courses 3 times. say it , don't mince words, and either they will be be turned off by it and see ya later, or they will appreciate your direct honest approach and find it refreshing, and be happier than before
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