It Happened to me!!!

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  beachgal20

  10 years ago

  A night liaison with a male escort on the back grass area of beach in Brighton....trying to explain burn marks on knees from picnic rug next day to.......

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  That you post your story first Q

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  I'd only just met at my first ever RHP meet and greet, cornered me as I was returning from the toilets. We ducked into the large-spaced disabled toilets and things got very hot and steamy while others were still sitting around chatting out in the restaurant. Never thought something like that would ever happen to me.

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  Seachange73

  10 years ago

  Am passing the parcel until the music stops. 🎁

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  I got a cramp in my foot one night while shagging a sexy girl I had just met at the pub.It fucking hurt like buggery and I was moaning and convulsing a bit and stuff, the funny part was she thought it was me cumming and as Id only just started she was urgently urging me not to cum so fast hahaha. I had to jump off her and hop around in the bedroom and stamp my foot on the ground in an effort to stop the damn cramp.I must have looked like a wild indian woopin and hollerin and hopping about naked as the look on her face was priceless. A cross between a deer in the headlights and someone fearing for their life.

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  theres more (lots more) hahha Late one New Years Eve I was rooting a girl whilst in a single sleeping bag on the beach.It was very cramped in there and I didnt have a lot of room to "move" lets just say there was no chance of me slipping out of her in the throes of passion. The funny part was we had an audience of about a dozen or so young teenage girls, I only realised they were watching when I heard some strange and unusual giggling sounds coming from the sea wall behind us.. We must have looked and sounded pretty fuckin funny. The girl was making some strange guttural noises probably more from having the air fucked out of her than pleasurable moans. I imagine it would have looked and sounded similar to an enraged bull seal high on crack cocaine claiming territorial mating rites for that section of the beach. I woke up in the morning and she was gone, and so were my clothes. I had to hop along the beach and through the caravan park clutching the sleeping bag like a kangaroo, it was a funny sight and even the kookaburras were laughing at me.

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  Dryphuz

  10 years ago

  I'm an overachiever. I once had to rush a mate out of my room with the excuse that we were running late for the movies because i could see the glob of jizz that i managed to get onto the ceiling some hours earlier with my girlfriend was gonna fall on his head if i didn't get him up. I had been wondering where it went... I've also had to replace one of my Terry Pratchett novels due to a similarly distant (albeit horizontal this time) shot that also escaped notice for some time. After these 2 incidents i concentrated on aiming more, but that developed the new problem of splash, which had similar 'It'll turn up later' consequences.

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Quoting 'Dryphuz' concentrated on aiming more, Ive shot in my eyes plenty of times and once I hit the light bulb, it was a ceiling mounted halogen 100 watter, it made a dreadful crackling sound and the smell was like red hot sex. I also came in a girls mouth one night and it shot out both of her nostrils, apparently this is called dragon snot :DI should get some stickers made up for my bedhead :p 🐉👁 👁 👁 💡 👁 👁 👁🍩

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Terry Pratchett is also King! Ok, this happened to me. I was fooling around with this guy in a park at night. I had been amusing myself giving a bj and then backing off, using just my hands. He wasn't complaining so I just kept edging him. He was lying on his back, his torso in the dark looked so tasty. I decided that it would be hot to take his load in my mouth as he came, no mouth contact prior. As the first cum shot came out I moved down out of my hover. simultaneously he let out a hell of a moan, lifted and started gyrating his hips. I was startled and looked up to see him cream all over his own face! I went from robbed to amused in a second. As he spluttered, horrified. I proceeded to roll around in hysterics uncontrolled for the next five minutes. In fact, I laughed whilst pointing out what happened the whole walk home. He told me his orgasm was spontaneous and he was trying to move so I wouldn't get covered. It just made me laugh more. I'd never seen ejaculate with so much power! It had managed to strike from the base of his cock, up his tasty torso, over his poor face and beyond. I was squeaky clean. 😇 The comedic picture is still so vivid, I giggle every time I'm reminded. I'm a bad person. 😂 -Longest. Xx - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  I was heading to Brisbane, from Gladstone, with a lady friend for a concert. After a few hours we stopped for a break and ended up rooting beside the car right outside the public loo. To break the trip, we slept in the van outside my shed in Gympie. The next morning we were going for it a heard noises. We looked up to see the local school bus had pulled up along side. Oops. Should of closed the curtains. 😀 Off to Mary River for a secluded skinny dip. NOT. People popped up out of the bush in every direction. Back on the road, the van had plenty of space, so it was "driver reviver" time. No sooner did her pop down on her knees, telling me to drive carefully, and go to work, and a bloody huge truck pulled out. AAARRR. Hit the skids. We laughed that off and tried again. AaRr.. Road works. Third time works a treat ...No!...policeman. We got to Brissy with no lasting scars and went shopping. I found a great kilt and decided to try it on. When the sales assist came around the corner to offer assistance, she soon backpedalled, bug-eyed, saying "We have a change room you know". There is really only one way to wear a kilt. The concert was great and when it ended, we only managed to get a few hundred meters from the gate before ducking into the shadow a nearby bush and watching the people walk by oblivious to the sight that was just beside them. It was an all nighter and I greeted the day on the balcony. My, my... you see lots when people forget to close there curtains. But it was a 2 way street. I was stark naked standing behind a clear glass railing. Only fair. 😀 All in all it was a weekend to remember. PS: That was about 18 months ago. And I haven't grown up yet.

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  you'll have to buy my book

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' you'll have to buy my book Well fuck me girl there goes the last of Tasmanias old growth wood chipping forests. Ps can I have a few first edition personally signed hard copies please :D (from series 1 through 12) Thanks in advance x Hey you should do a movie series as well and if you need a stuntman I have very reasonable rates.I could handle the merchandising side of things too.Crikey the mind is boggling :SThe incredible iTouch inflatable FIFO man (includes patching kit and bonus foot pump)The everhard iTouch2 9¾ inch solar powered *anal intruder* (includes batteries & a bonus 5kg tub of organic goose fat!)HURRY WHILE STOCKS LAST!

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  I'm slightly confused whether you're having a go? I_touch is pretty marvelous for sharing so openly in general. I'm going to assume you're a lover of her shared escapades. P.s. I'm renaming you Kurt, Kurt Vonnegut that is. I instantly think of Kurt whenever Deadeye Dick is mentioned. (book) 😛 - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  No definitely not having a go at all, just having a laugh as usual and pretty sure itouch knows me well enough by now :)I can see how someone who hasnt read a lot of my ramblings could take it the wrong way, maybe I should put a disclaimer* at the bottom of my posts. :D *Please note that the above post is in no way factual or relates to any actual person or persons living deceased or otherwise.Any content therein found to be factual, offensive or comical in any way shape or form is purely coincidental and unintentional. Hmmm I think that should just about cover everything :D

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Quoting 'Qefenta1' That you post your story first Q Ok, this story was when I was in my 20's. One Sunday afternoon a few of my friends and me, (mostly guys and a couple and a single woman, probably about 8 all up) were hanging. We were playing music, talking etc. There were two single women there, one lived at the flat and the other in town. I was pretty quiet and hardly said anything to the girls whilst 3 or 4 of my mates tried to impress them. Anyway, we decided to go into town so we jumped into a mates car, two guys in the front, me the girl and my other mate in the back. He was chatting to her and I couldn't get a word in edgeways. Anyway, as we pulled up out the front of her place, G jumped out of the car, wanting to take her inside. I turned to her and said I thought that she was cute and could I come inside with her. She said yes, so we got out and walked into her place, and were were in bed naked and fucking within about two minutes.... The funny thing is (and my mates and I talk about this often) is that G was still trying to seduce her as she and I walked down her drive way hand in hand, he - quite pathetically really, asked her for a smoke thinking that she would ask him inside instead of me (now days I'd ask to double team her lol), she got him a smoke, handing it to him as she closed the door in his face....... (of course when we tell the story after a few beers we all fall around laughing........) That's one of my stories.......

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