F65
Is there committment in the heart of a man?
July 25 2011
Comments
-
RHP User
14 years ago
with a veiw to commitment at all. The guys put that up because they think it is what us women want to hear. In truth, they no more want a serious, commited relationship than the guy who is openly and honestly just looking for a roll in the hay. Oh sure they will play the game, say the right thing until they get their end wet and then...NEXT!!!! l I am not even going to touch the second half of your topic with someone elses forty footbarge pole......yet. I think I will just sit quietly here in the couch, pop the top off a coldy, maybe get the wine, pop corn and jaffas ready for the others and wait......
-
RHP User
14 years ago
I think guys are just as capable of being mushy melancholic softcocks as much as women are. I refute Fiona's assertion that it was all a ploy to get a root... Let's face it, we can get a root really easily .. and it's cheaper than all this dating crap. Dudes want more than hot twat, a tight bouncing arse and good tittie. ... Having said that out loud to myself 5though.. I cant think what for the life of it, we could possibly want more than that..HugsS
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' I think guys are just as capable of being mushy melancholic softcocks as much as women are. I refute Fiona's assertion that it was all a ploy to get a root... Let's face it, we can get a root really easily .. and it's cheaper than all this dating crap. Dudes want more than hot twat, a tight bouncing arse and good tittie. ... Having said that out loud to myself 5though.. I cant think what for the life of it, we could possibly want more than that..HugsS...yes, and Mr Stalky, when you are that melancholic, softcock of which you speak, at whatever age decrepity sets in...who will be there to wipe the dribble of your chin...one of your many 'conquests'???? Lol, I seriously think not.
-
RogueGeek
14 years ago
Sheesh, when did that happen and why did nobody tell me?Having an open relationship doesn't make me less committed to my husband. If anything it makes me more so! I have options, but you know what, he is the one I want to come home to (or even the one I want to stay home with!).I don't think there is any more or less committment in modern relationships; I think there are more options for those who have decided the relationship has come to an end.Cheers,MS(the female half)
-
RHP User
14 years ago
I think some people get commitment confused with obligation. Sure, sometimes the commitment requires obligation but obligation shouldn't be the basis for the commitment. And if one person feels emotionally obliged, then the commitment needs to be re-addressed. Commitment doesn't have to last forever...it's simply a choice.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
When I am old and decrepid, mark my words... you may have thought Benny Hill was a dead man... but he's alive and well.. living inside me.. just waiting for the chance to leap out of his wheelchair and pinch fresh young nurses on the arse. Who's going to be wiping my chin? Not some wrinkley old tart I hope! Oh gawd no!HUgsStalky Quoting 'CrackUp' ...yes, and Mr Stalky, when you are that melancholic, softcock of which you speak, at whatever age decrepity sets in...who will be there to wipe the dribble of your chin...one of your many 'conquests'???? Lol, I seriously think not.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
I hope not too Stalky...otherwise..I'll hand her an iron..and you one too (I cant imagine the state of the land south of your waist band.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
I think the aversion to commitment isn't just by men, it's society as a whole. We won't commit to each other, to a job, a faith ( not a bad hung IMO) or anything. It seems we are all waiting for the next best thing in all areas of our life and we will jump ship as soon as it passes by. Sure there's something to be said for getting ahead but surely one day we have to see the destruction that this greed leaves in its wake? I love being in a committed relationship, sure there have been times it's been unfair and hard on one or the other and sure we have been very very close to breaking point and alas will probably feel those pains a few more times in our life. But perseverance has reaped great rewards. Year after year we get just that little bit closer, time shared brings a deepening of respect and oh how that giddying feeling of love feels as it ripens. Of course although we have both let the side down at times we both have a sound core of wanting to be together and wanting to see the other completely happy. If a relationship turns toxic and one or both loose that essential "I'd die for you" commitment then yes there can be a used by date. I also endeavor I be committed to my family, my close friends, my work, my community and my world. Damn being only human I don't get it right all the time but it's worth a try. It's a selfish act on my part really as the rewards often outweigh the effort but don't we all deserve to be spoiled every now and then? Well I'm off to wipe my arse on some nice soft toilet paper that was once a rainforest!! Geez I sound like a tree huggin hippee now but it's all related!
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'puppy' Well I'm off to wipe my arse on some nice soft toilet paper that was once a rainforest!! Geez I sound like a tree huggin hippee now but it's all related! From one psuedo-greenie to another....Now surely you know that toilet paper is largely made from pine forest plantations that are a renewable recourse? Just buy the unbleached, unscented stuff.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Commitment gets decimated along with the other items in a marriage break up.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Well said Pups I don't get this one time sex thing, (other than couples), I am talking about the singeltons, If you have sex with someone and get on with them ok, why wouldn't you want to go there again ...and again. I am pretty sure there is no such thing as love at first sight, only lust, over time love can happen. People have such high expectations of perfection in a partner.....there really is no such thing!What are people so afraid of? Is it all to hard?Marriage or whatever your idea of being together for the long haul is has so many rewards, but it also requires nurturing, and compromise....are people really so selfish these days that the hard work is not worth the reward? I guess so given the amount of broken families.Cheers Nev
-
RHP User
14 years ago
@puppy Respect for having found a partner and a job that you care so much for. But how many jobs are there were that commitment is returned by the employer? How many of those provide any sense of satisfaction? When there's no satisfaction and no mutual commitment between employer and employee that only leaves money and when there's better money offered elsewhere, that's where the smart people go. For myself, it'd be nice to be in a committed relationship with the right person but that's a difficult thing to get right the first time. Until then, I expect more trial and error.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
I hope you're right Fi, but I saw something on TV last night about the Sumatran tigers and it was saying that a big part of their rainforests are going into dunny paper and paper towel, what a disgrace if this is true!As for jobs, it took me a long, hard and very poor road to get the job I have now and yes sure it is satisfying and pays well but also carries a huge amount of stress (so sorry when I get narky on here as I've probably just had a hard day - just offer a me a hug would be nice :). Anyway I guess the job I hated most was afternoon/night shift at a service station in a gloomy industrial suburb BUT I was always on time, I always covered shifts if I could, I always had the place spic and span toilets included and I always gave the best of service to everyone no matter how big a tool they were. I'd like to think that this ethic helped me move from that job into a better one then onto a better one and so on. Gonzo, what kind of commitment do you want out of your employer that you're not getting? What are you willing to offer them that is better than the next bloke?Effort is rewarded, you don't get rewarded first then have effort expected, unless of course you are a politician!!!I worked for many years in a large business where the most happy place to be was slipping in to visit what essentially was the "bottle washers", a few blokes doing the most menial of tasks but oh what a top outlook on life. They had arrived in Australia as immigrants from a poor and hard country. They worked 5, 6 even more jobs to set their families up (they lament modern taxation that doesn't allow this to be profitable). They had childhoods that would make you cry. But they were ALWAYS happy, always working hard and always happy to help anyone no matter if it was outside their job description..there seems to be more to happiness than money or a cool job. Chasing better money as the prime course through a career is not smart at all, most people that are successful have forgone money for long periods to set themselves up - whether that's study, investment or just plain saving. I have a close friend who is in the top 3 people in the world in his career and he still doesn't chase money and there are likely many in his field that get more for his work, but when the shit hits the fan (as it soon will do) he will be one that will always have a job!As for finding "the one", I would hope everyone gets the chance to have a shot at it. I guess it's a chance thing and there's a big chance many people may never come across their match (or matches as it's ludicrous to think we couldn't have this kind of commitment to more than one person on the planet). Even with a shot at it, it is easy to stuff it up and lose it (so better hope there's more than one). I was lucky to get it right second time around but luck is only one part. You have to have the radar out and not be distracted by other things when the chance passes by. I feel there was a 3rd for me in between one and two, I spent a glorious rainy day deep in conversation with someone I just bumped into. I bid her adieu when a friend picked me up without even getting a number. As the days and weeks rolled on it hit me that this girl was just about the most perfect person (for me) I'd ever met. Well it's a lovely memory and it hurt to think I may have lost something good but then I'd have missed out on Mrs Pup who is not the most perfect person I've ever met!
-
RHP User
14 years ago
In a world where the dynamics of modern relationships are constantly changing, I think we should take the word commitment out and quietly strangle it. Let's replace it with the term "close relationship" or even "long term relationship". There are many guys out there who would love to find the right girl for a long term relationship it's just that this site is geared more for social networking and dating so you wont find as many here. With our fast paced lifestyles and split families it's sometimes easier to have friends with benefits on a long term basis.What you may find as the singles get older is that they will choose someone to live with either as their partner or friend and these will be the people that they turn to for succour and hand holding.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Congratulations, it would appear that you have discovered the fountain of youth and are no longer an octogenarian? Much is the pity, as you see were you indeed a very wealthy old dowager I would find little difficulty in a long term relationship, maybe even marriage. Once you were then "committed" and I were able to look after all of your assets (to our loving and mutual benefit, of course) ...life would be blissful for us both until your (hopefully soon) dying day. However now that it seems you may well outlive me, can we just shag as friends? If you are loaded, I am even happy for you to pay for a luxurious weekend retreat. ...I can commit to that if you like.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
You see commitment, I see a depreciating asset... a very bad business deal. You wouldn't need to be donald trump to see that.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Morticiaaa' I think some people get commitment confused with obligation. Sure, sometimes the commitment requires obligation but obligation shouldn't be the basis for the commitment. And if one person feels emotionally obliged, then the commitment needs to be re-addressed. Commitment doesn't have to last forever...it's simply a choice. Excellent point! Given the high ratio of marriages that fail, when you see an old couple walking down the street, there's a reasonable chance that one or both of them would rather have ended it years ago, but felt obliged to stay together due to the stigma that used to be associated with divorce, or "for the kids". Just because they lasted fifty years together, it doesn't mean that they were happy - my parents have a number friends who apparently don't even like their partners, let alone love them.As Mistress T pointed out, the friends with benefits model is a better fit for plenty of people. Because an FWB has no lock-in people tend not to take the other for granted. When it's over, it's over and everyone moves on. That might take a month, a year, or who knows how long? It's much harder to leave a marriage... and much easier to grow bitter in one.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Aha. But some, like myself, care not at all for such things. Bores me to tears in fact.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Nick_Wilde' You see commitment, I see a depreciating asset... a very bad business deal. You wouldn't need to be donald trump to see that. Surely that depends on whether you lease or buy? Commitment without a fixed term (like for example... forever) means you get to trade up when the fancy strikes. Just ask Ivana...
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Thank you for all who contributed. I enjoy seeing people discuss both the pro's and con's of things.. it makes for a interesting and deeper appreciation for the many types of people who frequent RHP and the collective wealth of experience, insight and academia that exists therein. As with all things pertaining to human behavior, there is no wrong or right, it is very much a part of our intrinsic value system and therefore, not able to be 'judged' by another.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
So, no commitment and I'd hope if that's the choice then there'd be no commitment to children. So in this perfect short term model, who is going to look after Nick and Snow when they get sick?All this self, self, self ishness that pervades modern society - is it really leading to greater self satisfaction? Do we all really love ourselves above all else that much?All I know is that the happiest people I've ever met and the ones I would desire to emulate have all had the deepest of convictions and many, many commitments to uphold.So all you commitment-phobes out there, is there anything that you really are deeply committed to?
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'puppy' So, no commitment and I'd hope if that's the choice then there'd be no commitment to children. So in this perfect short term model, who is going to look after Nick and Snow when they get sick?All this self, self, self ishness that pervades modern society - is it really leading to greater self satisfaction? Do we all really love ourselves above all else that much?All I know is that the happiest people I've ever met and the ones I would desire to emulate have all had the deepest of convictions and many, many commitments to uphold.So all you commitment-phobes out there, is there anything that you really are deeply committed to? Who's going to look after me? Given the proportion of marriages that fail, I'd be more worried about myself, if I was you. I know, you're life partners, can't imagine yourself with anyone else, soulmates, blah, blah, blah - I was saying the same thing at your age.Selfish? Commitment-phobe? On what do you base either of those assumptions?
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Puppy, I agree with you with regard to your sentiments on commitment and it somewhat echoes my own experiences however, reading some of the other contributors and the feelings expressed therein - I get the sense that, to some degree, there is 'luck' involved in creating a long term 'committed' relationship. By this I mean, you have to be 'lucky' enough to meet someone who will contribute the same amount of emotional energy to the relationship, someone who has exactly the right about of 'flexibility' in accommodating the others foibles (and vice a versa), luck in finding 'the right one'. As some pointed out, in years gone by, when options were limited - couples stuck together for the 'children', for financial reasons, etc, etc; the couple I mentioned in my example more the exception, than the rule. Even our own emotional 'resilience' plays a part in how 'committed'. Maybe this is where men and women differ so significantly - men are physically resilient, the protectors and ones am to logically think their way out of a pickle, women the softer, more yielding emotional makeup who 'put up' with and yearn for that longevity of emotional ties. Of course, and I hasten to add as always on the forums - this is a generalisation, and always, there will be men and women who defy these stereotypical descriptions.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Snowy, if I'm wrong then why no answer to my question? If we all stay foot loose and fancy free, then WHO foots the bill when we need care in our old age? Do you think institutions will be able to handle the influx? Do you think the youth of the day will want the higher taxes to look after all these old farts who just lived in the moment for so long? Yes we have so much choice these days but seems we centre these choices about what we can do for just ourselves right now - again a generalisation but I think it's relevant to this topic.As far as my assumptions, these are generalisations - do you think we live in a society that is not selfish? Oh so marriages fail, so we should ditch the idea - ok governments fail each and every time so why not ditch the idea - pure anarchy - let's give it a go :) Any other things that fail often that we should just write off?Dear Miss Crack, you're spot on as always. There is a bit of luck involved and I am sure there are people out there that just miss out on bumping into a few "the one's" but from there it's a shitload of hard work (just like anything worthwhile takes hard work). It'd be great if 2 people put in the same amount of effort 100% of the time but this will never happen as I'm sure you know. It's having that love and respect for each other that you can lean on each other, sometimes unfairly but it goes both ways.I'm not so silly to think that my perfect little coupling (of course it's not perfect but it's gotta be close) is unshakable, it has been shaken to the core in the past and I expect it will be again in the future. I really hope we survive it as I know you come out the other side stronger and better for the other and yourself. What makes this harder these days is the throw away society, support networks are more likely to say "leave and have fun" than offer to help keep your relationship going. This topic always gets back to not staying in unhealthy relationships and sure this is true. But sometimes a worthy relationship gets a little disease and needs some strong medical intervention, this doesn't mean it's worth throwing away!Again so Snowy, since you're not phobic; let's say you meet Miss Perfect For Snowy and it really is everything you ever could want - would you marry her if that was what she wanted? Or pledge your life to her if this little party is not your thing? I do hope so!But, then say 10 years down the line you have a stroke and are half the man you used to be, a damn handful for this poor lass. What should she do? Say there's no home to send you to and it's either turn you on the street or suck it up and look after you? Surely she shouldn't be expected to give up her life for that?So Snowy, yes I am hoping the Pup's will be looking after each other when we're old and crusty and hopefully have a few kids that will drop by and help out every now and then. Will you answer the question - who's looking after you?
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'puppy' Snowy, if I'm wrong then why no answer to my question? If we all stay foot loose and fancy free, then WHO foots the bill when we need care in our old age? Do you think institutions will be able to handle the influx? Do you think the youth of the day will want the higher taxes to look after all these old farts who just lived in the moment for so long? Yes we have so much choice these days but seems we centre these choices about what we can do for just ourselves right now - again a generalisation but I think it's relevant to this topic.If you're suggesting that "so we won't be a burden on society" is a real reason for your marriage and that it isn't the absolute last on your list of reasons, I wouldn't give your marriage 5 years. We don't pair up for the sake of society - that's just silly.Oh so marriages fail, so we should ditch the idea - ok governments fail each and every time so why not ditch the idea - pure anarchy - let's give it a go :) Any other things that fail often that we should just write off?This is quite off-topic, but I see the increased rate in the failure of marriages as a sign of a healthy society. In my parents' era, marriage was for life. Theirs was happy, but plenty of their friends' suffered drinking, beatings, cheating and all manner of betrayal. With few career prospects, women stuck it out, and knowing that they had the upper hand, men made few efforts to be decent. The fact that we're now able to separate and both parties can forge new lives for themselves is a wonderful advancement in society. The only thing I'm throwing away is the idea that marriage should be a death sentence.I'm not so silly to think that my perfect little coupling (of course it's not perfect but it's gotta be close) is unshakable, it has been shaken to the core in the past and I expect it will be again in the future. I really hope we survive it as I know you come out the other side stronger and better for the other and yourself. What makes this harder these days is the throw away society, support networks are more likely to say "leave and have fun" than offer to help keep your relationship going.Don't get me wrong - I'm hoping your marriage survives... really, I am. I think it's a lovely thing for two people to have, and so much the better if it results in kids. If you want to play the "leave and have fun" card though, I have to think that you've never left a long-term relationship. Mine was 22 years and involved a child - if you think that was easy or that I did it for fun, you're clearly not reading me right.Again so Snowy, since you're not phobic; let's say you meet Miss Perfect For Snowy and it really is everything you ever could want - would you marry her if that was what she wanted? Or pledge your life to her if this little party is not your thing? I do hope so!Yes, of course I would... because I'm not commitment-phobic...But, then say 10 years down the line you have a stroke and are half the man you used to be, a damn handful for this poor lass. What should she do? Say there's no home to send you to and it's either turn you on the street or suck it up and look after you? Surely she shouldn't be expected to give up her life for that?Why? Because we'd only been together for 10 years? How long would we have to have been together in order for me to qualify for comprehensive care? Also, are you suggesting that anyone with a reasonable risk of serious health issues within the next decade is a poor bet as a romantic partner? Aren't you just all soft and sentimental?So Snowy, yes I am hoping the Pup's will be looking after each other when we're old and crusty and hopefully have a few kids that will drop by and help out every now and then. Will you answer the question - who's looking after you?Well, I have a child, but I want her to have her own life and I'd hate to be a burden to her, so it won't be her. So who's going to be looking after me? Either me, or nobody. Am I going to end up some doddering old fuck wearing pyjamas all day in his council flat? Yeah, there's a chance of that. Is that the answer you're looking for Pup? It's pretty easy to be smug when you're young and married - I was at your age too, as my wife was pregnant and life was rosy. Enjoy.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Eloquent sidesteps and subtle but still quite nasty demeaning personal inferences there!Sorry as a youngster (gee I love you for saying that) I seemed to have missed the logic of someone damning something based on their failure to achieve it!!! OK I am very sorry that you invested so much in something so coveted and it didn't come to fruition. But again isn't it better to give it a shot than never have the opportunity? WHat do they say; it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved - I guess "they" are wrong?Again commitment to any great thing probably must have a chance of great disappointment - gee should anyone commit to anything?Hmmm is there anyway you can misconstrue this post?I do hope the Pups survive but if they don't I hope I don't get bitter and not recommend having a go at that dirty C word!OK Crackup, to answer your original question; YES there is commitment in the heart of a man. It pushes us to climb unclimbable mountains, to cross uncrossable seas and every so often even to fall in love!Of course man's spirit can take a beating and he can come away different, I really feel we all (men and women) want that kind of bond with someone that brings around those silly phrases like soul mate, life partner and all manner of other corny mush. I for one would like to think anyone I care about would give it a go.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'puppy' Eloquent sidesteps and subtle but still quite nasty demeaning personal inferences there!Where? Suggesting that you gushing on about your marriage while repeatedly asking me who's going to look after me in my old age looks smug? I think it did, and I don't feel that I was being nasty in pointing that out. Sorry as a youngster (gee I love you for saying that) I seemed to have missed the logic of someone damning something based on their failure to achieve it!!! I didn't damn it at all - I was genuine when I said I hoped that your marriage survives. I don't even know you - I certainly have no cause to wish you ill.OK I am very sorry that you invested so much in something so coveted and it didn't come to fruition. But again isn't it better to give it a shot than never have the opportunity? WHat do they say; it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved - I guess "they" are wrong?I don't regret my relationship for a moment. It produced my daughter - far and away the greatest achievement of my life. Besides, my ex and I are good friends - we get on better now that we're not married. People grow apart, but it's no cause for bitterness. That doesn't mean that you walk away from such a significant part of your life lightly.Again commitment to any great thing probably must have a chance of great disappointment - gee should anyone commit to anything?Again, you're unfairly painting me as being commitment-phobic, but nothing that I've said gives you any cause to think that. There's a big difference between commitment and hanging on to something obviously past its use-by date. As Morticiaaa very eloquently pointed out, that's confusing commitment with obligation. Besides, we were together for 22 years, so repeatedly suggesting that I can't commit seems quite odd.Hmmm is there anyway you can misconstrue this post?I think the problem that you had with my last post was that you got the answer that you sought, then wondered whether you should have asked the question in the first place. I wasn't having a go at you and I'm not the least bit offended, but I think you ignored the fundamental rule that lawyers apply to courtroom proceedings - don't ever ask a question that you don't already know the answer to. If you didn't know the answer to that one, you set yourself up for ambush - if you did, it smacks of smugness. Take your pick.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
No but so many reasons why we dont commit these days or dont believe in Men or women that say theyre looking for it.1 - We have lost the ability to communicate, intimately, honestly and openly one on one face to face due to technology and the likes of internet chat / friend forums. Without the ability to communicate, no matter how compatible you are, cracks will appear and its hard to maintain long term relation without being able to discuss issues as they arise 2 - We are more selfish, and less likely to want to give up the little spare time we have these days to fit in another persons wants/needs/activities that you dont actually want or like doing, or feel restricted by the thought of actually having to think about or answer to someone else.3 - more importance and bearing is looked for and been given to qualities in partners that are superficial, for example looks height wealth etc as opposed to strength of character, honesty, family, integrity, values and what actually compliments your own personality. Might be fun to screw some hot guy for a while with a nice car and $$ in his pocket but he cant hold a decent stimulating conversation, he opens the door for himself and not you and although fun to party with he's winking at the chick next to you while giving you a cuddle.4 - Monogamy can be quite a boring thought especially if you have enjoyed an active sex life with a variety of partners. My suggestion. Find an open minded, liberated and adventurous partner that emotionally full fills you and your needs... Either one who keeps the monogamous life spicy or one whos happy for extras.. Dont close your mind and think boring!! I spent the majority of 14 years foot loose fancy free, sexually promiscuous and commitment phobic. Discovered over time the qualities In people that made me happy and worked, made a list of everything I was looking for in a man, decided what qualities were essential and I wouldnt compromise on and other things i wanted but meh i could deal with without.5 years later after reading my man wish list on a regular basis before bed... in walked a man to my office.. eyes met, hearts went bang, had the right foundations but bit rocky to begin as neither of us had been in a relationship for a number of years. after 6 months of butting heads, compromising, facing facts about ourselves, making some personal changes and learning eachother, we are going very strong very much in love and content with life and excited about the plans for our future together.Commitment is possible even for those who least believe in it or even think they're not capable of it. I was one of those people. I just worked out what I needed and wanted were two different things and never settled till i found all that i needed
-
RHP User
14 years ago
OK Snowy seems we're on the same page here and if we both act like lawyers then yes you have won the arguement. I guess I was also taking the feelings I get out of your replies in other posts but since the legal billing fees on RHP are too low I just couldn't be buggered finding supporting evidence!!! LOLSorry I seem to be bleating on how mushy and nice my marriage is but I do get sick of all the marriage bashing that goes on around here. I'll always be the first one to admit nothing is perfect and it really does take a lot of hard work. I think you might agree that walking away from a long term relationship is even harder work as you say you don't take it lightly. I think though, in general (ie other people, the masses, not directed at you - just to be clear), it is becoming a lighter and lighter choice and I don't think this general decline in commitment is a good thing and deserves further support.It's nice to hear you've produced a wonderful human being and being from a "broken home" it is very nice to hear you and your ex have stayed friends (my parents were also very amicable and it's the best thing they could ever have done for me). So more importantly, who does the best coffee in Leichhardt?
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'puppy'Sorry I seem to be bleating on how mushy and nice my marriage is but I do get sick of all the marriage bashing that goes on around here. I'll always be the first one to admit nothing is perfect and it really does take a lot of hard work. I think you might agree that walking away from a long term relationship is even harder work as you say you don't take it lightly. I think though, in general (ie other people, the masses, not directed at you - just to be clear), it is becoming a lighter and lighter choice and I don't think this general decline in commitment is a good thing and deserves further support.It's nice to hear you've produced a wonderful human being and being from a "broken home" it is very nice to hear you and your ex have stayed friends (my parents were also very amicable and it's the best thing they could ever have done for me). So more importantly, who does the best coffee in Leichhardt? I think that for the most part we are on the same page, but being something of a pedant, I tend to pick people up for making generalisations. I'm sure that plenty of people regard it as an annoying characteristic of mine, but it's not one that I'm willing or able to change, so there you go!I agree that some people do devalue marriage, particularly here, though perhaps that's not that representative of the general population. I feel that marriage is treated with a certain flippancy here by some people – in particular, those willing to cheat on their partner. Despite the fact that cheating was never my thing I try not to be too judgemental, but I do think that it shows disregard for the deal someone signed up for in the first place. Oddly enough, despite the fact that it didn't last forever, I still regard my marriage as having been successful – we're still friends and we produced the most wonderful kid I've ever met. I suppose now I'm gushing on about my circumstances, so I probably shouldn't throw too many stones at you for doing the same thing.Ah, coffee! Now we're talking about important matters! Grind probably makes the best coffee, but the outside tables are in the shade and it's staffed by big, boofy blokes. Under Belli is a close second for coffee, is on the sunny side of Norton Street and has some very lovely waitresses. Guess where you might find me on a warm morning?Nice posting pups – have a great day!
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Oh Snow we are going to butt heads every now and then as I always try and keep my postings very general and not too specific. Granted I have an inkling you might not quite fit in most generalizations so I'll have to keep that in mind. We used to live your way in the real Little Italy just down the road in the 'field' but it's gone ahead in leaps and bounds as well, as we both love a great coffee and both like to peeve on hot waitresses then we may just bump into you in the sunshine one day! Off to make a coffee now, nobody (nearly) does it better!
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Perve! I mean perve! Damn iPhone and it's predictive text. Is it possible to peeve on someone? Does this mean you are actively trying to piss them off just by looking at them? I hope it's not he proper way of describing some kind of water sports?
-
RHP User
14 years ago
I think if anyone wants to commit they will..as long as it is a joint thing then all is good.otherwise its that one sided thing !
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Unfortunately we live in a throw away era. Yes men are just as capable as committment as women are. Why wouldnt they be? The structure of our society has become more fractured over time and it is easier to get out of relationships than what it used to be but that does not mean the committment is less. Not every one just packs up and leaves when the going gets tough, when thier partner gets ill, when it all becomes just too hard. If the staistics for divorce is 50% then at least half of marriages are making it. In fact the statistics for marriages survivng is even greater as many get married two or three times. Those multiple failed marriages are still counted. I dont belive that a good, solid, working relationship has anything to do with luck at all. It is sheer hard work, the ability to put in the hard yards and not give up. Yes Puppy there is a lot of man/marriage bashing on this site and I have been guilty of some of that myself. However, I have some wonderful examples of marriages in my own family that have lasted 40 years or more. Monogamous. So I know it can and does happen. l No need to worry about what will happen when you are old and grey. Just buy into Stalky's retirement home "Pie In THe Sky" He is planning on having young attractive nurses to do the looking after of us old perves so we can peeve on them.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Oh what fun Pie in the Sky will be, young nurses to perve at and wonderful residents to argue the meaning of life with out of our wheel chairs, better have good coffee hey Snowy? Everyone knows good coffee needs no sugar but we may substitute with some Viagra :)
-
RHP User
14 years ago
"till death do us part"i actually believe in that very strongly, my wife is trying to leave me now but i wont give up on her that easily...MrNA
-
Letsgetcrazy09
14 years ago
So what is wrong with a bit of pocket billliards GirlTuesday.......mmmmm........hehehe
-
RHP User
14 years ago
They're committed to screwing as many holes as possible...and getting screwed too. Sorry to burst your bubble hun but we're on RHP who;s looking for commitment???
-
RHP User
14 years ago
In the context of looking for somebody on this site - or anywhere else, for that matter - I don't think it necessarily means the whole "til death do us part". Yes, commitment is a given when you walk down the aisle and sign your life away, but if you never do that I don't think that means you're any more or less committed. It's something I've been thinking about a fair bit lately, and in my present circumstance walking down the aisle with anyone is not an option that's seriously considered. That doesn't mean commitment is not in my heart. For example, if I wound up in a FWB situation, I'd most likely be happy to commit to that "relationship" for as long as it suited the both of us. Is that not commitment, albeit at a different level than a marriage?
-
RHP User
14 years ago
i keep on the lookout for a serious relationship... it just doesnt happen or develop so the search continues...rather simple really
-
RHP User
14 years ago
RC, what you described yes..is a commitment of sorts..as u said, a different one to marriage but no less bona fide. TS, ur right, some are not and that's cool. I wasn't explicitly talking RHP here, just a societal view of the role commitment these days. The notion came from a forum remark made on RHP is all.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Nearly 7 billion people in the world. Thats 7 billion different sets of DNA and 7 Billion differing oppinions. Everyone is capable of anything and all that really matters is that you find what you are looking for....
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'rcflyer69' In the context of looking for somebody on this site - or anywhere else, for that matter - I don't think it necessarily means the whole "til death do us part". Yes, commitment is a given when you walk down the aisle and sign your life away, but if you never do that I don't think that means you're any more or less committed. It's something I've been thinking about a fair bit lately, and in my present circumstance walking down the aisle with anyone is not an option that's seriously considered. That doesn't mean commitment is not in my heart. For example, if I wound up in a FWB situation, I'd most likely be happy to commit to that "relationship" for as long as it suited the both of us. Is that not commitment, albeit at a different level than a marriage? I'm in exactly the same boat and treat it the same way. I've been in a FWB relationship for over a year and I certainly consider myself committed to it. I treat her with consideration and respect and expect her to do the same, despite us being non-exclusive. It can work beautifully.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
committment, what are we committing to exactly? each other and if so in what way? I am learning a lot about the word intimacy and sure " in to me you see: = intimacy and intimacy is what its all about and when we can feel that we are in a place safe enough to fully open up and explore who we are with another without any control plays or fears of rejection in any form what so ever we enter into a type of sacred exchange that allows almost unlimitted expression. Now that is something all of us want whether we are aware of it or not. So when I think about the word committment I think of it in light of this intimacy and how two people can support each other in there sexual and personal unfolding. Why committment to anything less. That committment is prehaps the ulimate committment and it first start with yourself which the flows out to another and the dynmaics under that type of committment are unlike anything else I have known before. utterly amazing
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Is not the place to find commitment. Maybe one of the sites that does not cater to the swingers lifestyle. But stranger things can happen. Who knows. I am a strong believer of if you look too hard for it then you wont find it. Just keep your mind and eyes open and things might change in a better way for you. I would be happy to spend my life with someone if we both felt strong enough about each other. Things change and so do your views on life as it progresses. I never wanted kids but now i have them i would not change it for the world. I would love to have someone to come home to and cuddle at night but i am not going to count my chickens just yet and just live for now. If that person is out there then i need to be too and hopefully we will meet. Be it on here or in a club or a friend of a friend. Just dont put all your efforts into looking for THE ONE because you might scare people away by being needy
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'mrbungle426' Is not the place to find commitment. Maybe one of the sites that does not cater to the swingers lifestyle. But stranger things can happen. Who knows. I am a strong believer of if you look too hard for it then you wont find it. Just keep your mind and eyes open and things might change in a better way for you. I would be happy to spend my life with someone if we both felt strong enough about each other. Things change and so do your views on life as it progresses. I never wanted kids but now i have them i would not change it for the world. I would love to have someone to come home to and cuddle at night but i am not going to count my chickens just yet and just live for now. If that person is out there then i need to be too and hopefully we will meet. Be it on here or in a club or a friend of a friend. Just dont put all your efforts into looking for THE ONE because you might scare people away by being needy One only needs to look at some of the profiles, and success stories to see that while there are people on here looking for no strings attached fun, there are also people on here looking for Mr or Ms Right, and in some cases, finding it. At the end of the day, RHP is here for everyone to find what they seek, whatever that may be.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
I fear that commitment is a dying thing. I would like to believe that it isn't but unfortunately looking around these days alot of marriages don't last. I was with my wife for years and had a child together but our marriage only lasted till 6 months when she decided single life was more fun. I still would like to have the happily ever after but for now I just want to meet new people and work out what sort of person that happily ever after will be with as my first choice was incorrect. In short I think both sexes have people who genuinely want to commit and both have the opposite but no one wants to be playing the game at 100 so if you live just for today this will probably happen but if you live for today and keep an eye on tomorrow you might find there is a time you want to settle down.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Those who said they're looking for commitment while still a member here are hypocrites.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
As with all things commitment is a choice we make. Women and men are just as likely to break a commitment, although the difference between the sexes can often mislead to what commitments were broken. Where a male may find no issue, the female might and visa versa, but it all boils down to the same thing. I think these sites are a meeting place and an open mind can find like minded souls, who know maybe even a soul mate. In the right context, both male and females show and share commitment, the nesting instinct of the woman will commit to making a home and bring up the little ones, where the man, the hunter commits to feeding and protecting his home. The commitment to his partner may be a part of that? In this day and age, with equality for all rife, it can be said that role reversals are common, in nature and humanity. Since the options of today have increased, sometimes it is the hunting woman not able to commit.... So, I might ask, is it a social flaw (our place within society), a gender issue, a grass roots fundamental of survival or simply attitudes that dictate whether the man has commitment in his heart? In our throw away society of late, it is any wonder anyone has long term commitment?
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Eh, I've seen more people divorced in my short career than I'd ever thought possible and more sticky property settlements, and more ridiculous child arrangements than I'd ever imagined. Pre-Nups and Post-Nups are the new done thing. Thank god, because it's bread and butter for me. So, I do feel that age old concepts of marriage and commitment are dieing. For me, marriage is a distant, distant, unlikely venture. However, a committed relationship with a woman in a de-facto setting? Possibly. Though, the law treats both the same, anyway. I guess If I find the right one, that might change, but for now, I'm looking for miss right now - who knows, she might be the one.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Hey guys I'm going to offer a bit of a sob story here, but I hope that it makes a point. I met my wife about 8 years ago, we did everything together, until our first pregnancy. I gave up a job that was surely doing nothing for my health, and in fact was killing me slowly. She left me as I wasn't "manning up to my responsibilities of providing for our family to be." I went back to that company, and soon after the company went bust. I was soon into another job, and 6 months after doing that job, she said things weren't working as I was never home. This continued on, through 5 years of marriage, 2 miscarriages, and my now ex wife's alcoholism. Throughout her problems, I stood by her, took time off to be there for her only to be then told "you only took time off to rub things in my face." It's now nearly 2 years on from our split, and she left 2 days after I was diagnosed with depression. So my question would be what exactly IS commitment?? Until both parties can define it and come to common ground then of course it will be a dying quality. Hell, after what I have gone through in the last 2 years, with the mind games, etc, I don't blame guys for just wanting a roll in the hay, and no offence to the ladies, but some women (and men are no different) are just only good for 1 thing.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Commitment is easy. I've committed to a plenty of women over the years, to varying degrees, it depends on the relationship. You could commit to life ever after, or to just keep going until she cums or I get a cramp in my tongue. I've often joked over the years that marriage should be for a defined period of time, say 5 years, at which point you can recommit or walk away. As time goes on I've come to think there's more sense in it than I first thought. I have to say though, that I did come up with the concept after seeing how complacent a lot of men get in a relationship and thought that if there's an out every five years then they might pay a bit more attention because it could all end so easily for them. Anyway, they're my thoughts.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
I've been with my husband for half my life, put up with his temper tantrums, his terrible health problems, his control freak attitude and emotional abuse...and yes, I think I did it all for love, once. I think 21 years with someone demonstrates commitment enough, but nowadays I 'cheat' (for my own sanity!) and only stay because of our kids. When the youngest is old enough to understand my unhappiness and accept that I have to move on, I'll go. Sometimes two people just grow apart instead of growing together, and no amount of chanting to oneself 'I must see this through because I made a COMMITMENT' is going to help you get through those days when you're wallowing in the depths of anguish and self-pity. I would always advise people not to marry - a marriage certificate (80% lead and 20% adamantium!) makes it too hard to walk away. I think real commitment is demonstrated by two people who aren't married but still choose to stay together because they WANT to, not because that piece of paper says they ought to.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
to advise people not to marry is just being selfish and like predicting a future no one can know... you could stay married for 50 years or in 5 months...i learnt my lessons of commitment and i wont make the same mistakes again
-
RHP User
14 years ago
case by case, may just be trying to charm or want something genuine,we all have aspects of pure animal in us and some pure want of another half to fill our heart void,choose which you listen to more. i guess finding the right person can be the trick and being content with what you have, or just stay single and on the chase for quantity or perfection till you get old and wrinkly and just want someone to talk to...........
-
RHP User
14 years ago
too right, anyway people may have experiences and say they have "done their time" and there are other people who are happily married for 50 plus years... doesnt mean you go round telling people to all get married or NOT to get married. we all have to learn ourselves. and i am happy to do so.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Ah a voice of reason!!!!!!I have purposely held back from responding to 40DeeD's comment as i'm sure it'd fall in deaf ears.Just because some make the wrong choice then take too long to do anything about it doesn't mean they should try and influence others out of their spite.Great relationships are priceless, whether it's friendship, family or committed couples. Now really there is no difference in the pain and anguish of the failure of a committed couple whether they are married or not. So why get married? - some may askMarriage is a celebration of the love you have found, it is a commitment in front of people you care about and you want to care for you. It is saying you have chosen your partner and you want everyone present to help both of you out in times of trouble. It's saying that you don't want them to just write your partner off at the first sign of trouble but you want everyone to help you stay together if that is what your loved ones think is the right thing to do.One person can't be everything for another, we need family and friends. Marriage is a commitment where you also let these loved ones access into your relationship. It should make your life easier and more fulfilling having all this out in the open.Sure if you haven't found "the one" then don't commit or get married. But if you're as sure as anyone can be that you have then there's nothing wrong with a commitment or celebrating it in marriage. And if by chance you are unlucky and things go pear shaped, if your guest list was full of people who genuinely care for you then you'll have photographic evidence of whose shoulders are out there for you to lean on to help you get out of the shit!Maybe we should be berating people who accept invitations to weddings for the free feed and entertainment instead of recognising that they are accepting a serious role in that couple's life. I recently attended the ceremony only of a relatively new friend, he felt bad that he couldn't invite us to the reception as numbers were small and finances tight. Well we dolled ourselves up and enjoyed the short but sweet ceremony and I made a point of attending as I know this guy is going to be a long term friend and as such I will be there to support him, makes no difference that I didn't get a feed but it sure makes a difference that I wouldn't miss the meaning of it all.Oh I just read Basil's comment and agree, a 5 year fixed term with options to extend would be perfect! Although maybe it should be 10 years as I have found that with ourselves and most others we've talked to that after 5 years you are usually both taking each other for granted a little, then you get the 7 year itch where you wonder if you're going to find this other person hot for the rest of your life, then as you approach 10 years things change again and either you really, really want to run away or you both form an even deeper bond, you like each other more than you ever have and something hits you that makes you realise this person is the hottest, sexiest person you could ever hope to be with. After so long together, so much water under the bridge, it really is a blissful realisation to reach. The thought of it going pear shaped after that is really a fearful thought and I really hope I never have to face it, I would need all my friends, family and half of RHP to give me hugs to get through that one (hopefully still not jaded at the thought of commitment).Peace, love and great sex to you all!xxxMrP
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'hardtruckin2011' Hey guys I'm going to offer a bit of a sob story here, but I hope that it makes a point. I met my wife about 8 years ago, we did everything together, until our first pregnancy. I gave up a job that was surely doing nothing for my health, and in fact was killing me slowly. She left me as I wasn't "manning up to my responsibilities of providing for our family to be." I went back to that company, and soon after the company went bust. I was soon into another job, and 6 months after doing that job, she said things weren't working as I was never home. This continued on, through 5 years of marriage, 2 miscarriages, and my now ex wife's alcoholism. Throughout her problems, I stood by her, took time off to be there for her only to be then told "you only took time off to rub things in my face." It's now nearly 2 years on from our split, and she left 2 days after I was diagnosed with depression. So my question would be what exactly IS commitment?? Until both parties can define it and come to common ground then of course it will be a dying quality. Hell, after what I have gone through in the last 2 years, with the mind games, etc, I don't blame guys for just wanting a roll in the hay, and no offence to the ladies, but some women (and men are no different) are just only good for 1 thing. What to say? Mate you've got all the right in the world to be jaded. Lucky it's a feeling that can pass with the right future and reading your profile I think you have the mettle to overcome it. I hope you have some fun on here and I hope any women who are looking for a little more take a look at your profile as it's one of the better ones I've ever read and you're a good lookin' chap to boot! Depression is a state that can also pass, although you'd best keep it on a short collar when you bust it. You're honesty and your morals will get you through it me thinks :)
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Puppy people should listen to me more often lol... i am the middle ground people tell me. :)i totally get relationships that fall apart as i have been through them but when i see people like my parents and the entrie family it seems they all hold good values and committment for each other and that is why they seem to last unlike others.one way streets are not fun as i have learnt (me and former partners) but two way streets make it an enjoyable and sexier ride :)
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Pure commitment from the heart only remains in those whom actually know what love is. Not many people I've met in my time in Australia understand love or the concept of romance and treating a woman with respect. Especially with the masses of stories, horrific stories, of how people are treating their ladies, is there any wonder as to why relationships are breaking down.When someone is emotionally broken, broken by an abuser, they've no hope for ever facing the adversary of true love. It is a failing world we live in but there is still hope for the dreamers, for those whom believe in true love at first sight, for those whoms white knight swoops them off their feet and is by their side through think n thin for the rest of eachothers life.Hugs n kisses to all
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Yes, it's beautiful to see two people who are committed to each other, but for heaven's sake - this is a site for swingers! I can't wait now, for the people in happy 'open' marriages, to leap like rabid dogs, to the defence of their own relationships, but as for a marriage saying to everyone that you have chosen your partner, so what? We make mistakes; we're human beings. Surely we can change our minds further down the track? I thought when I got married that I was doing it for love, and it wasn't until I truly found a grand passion for someone that I realized how hollow and unspectacular it all is. Perhaps my problem has always been, that I've never seen anyone who WAS in a committed relationship...my experience of the guys I've met is that they have been cheaters, liars and heartless philanderers. I've been looking for that stability and commitment all this time, but they haven't! All they've wanted is a quick root - and that's reality. For every man who wants to defend true love and commitment there are going to be another fifty shallow and pathetic excuses for men who ought, in all honesty, put their hands up and admit they have absolutely no idea what the word means!
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting '40DeeD' Yes, it's beautiful to see two people who are committed to each other, but for heaven's sake - this is a site for swingers! I can't wait now, for the people in happy 'open' marriages, to leap like rabid dogs, to the defence of their own relationships, but as for a marriage saying to everyone that you have chosen your partner, so what? We make mistakes; we're human beings. Surely we can change our minds further down the track? I thought when I got married that I was doing it for love, and it wasn't until I truly found a grand passion for someone that I realized how hollow and unspectacular it all is. Perhaps my problem has always been, that I've never seen anyone who WAS in a committed relationship...my experience of the guys I've met is that they have been cheaters, liars and heartless philanderers. I've been looking for that stability and commitment all this time, but they haven't! All they've wanted is a quick root - and that's reality. For every man who wants to defend true love and commitment there are going to be another fifty shallow and pathetic excuses for men who ought, in all honesty, put their hands up and admit they have absolutely no idea what the word means! And you're probably right. But, guess what? It works both ways. Why is it that whenever any sort of negativity is brought up regarding relationships/cheating/lying, etc., usually the next word in that sentence is "men"? Women cheat, women lie, women break hearts, women are only after a quick roll in the hay.....ask me how I know. I can tell you a very similar story to what you posted earlier - shorter time-frame, but essentially the same......doesn't mean all women are the same, and doesn't mean nobody should marry.As for being a site for swingers, respectfully, I disagree. Sure, it's an adult site, and more sexually open than, say, Oasis or ChristianMingle, but at the end of the day, it's still a dating site, and some members are looking for.......you guessed it.....commitment.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting '40DeeD' Yes, it's beautiful to see two people who are committed to each other, but for heaven's sake - this is a site for swingers! I can't wait now, for the people in happy 'open' marriages, to leap like rabid dogs, to the defence of their own relationships, but as for a marriage saying to everyone that you have chosen your partner, so what? We make mistakes; we're human beings. Surely we can change our minds further down the track? I thought when I got married that I was doing it for love, and it wasn't until I truly found a grand passion for someone that I realized how hollow and unspectacular it all is. Perhaps my problem has always been, that I've never seen anyone who WAS in a committed relationship...my experience of the guys I've met is that they have been cheaters, liars and heartless philanderers. I've been looking for that stability and commitment all this time, but they haven't! All they've wanted is a quick root - and that's reality. For every man who wants to defend true love and commitment there are going to be another fifty shallow and pathetic excuses for men who ought, in all honesty, put their hands up and admit they have absolutely no idea what the word means! *applaud* exactly... and we are kidding ourselves if we want mr/mrs right here as you wont find them here. If i was in a committed relationship i definitely wouldn't be here that is for sure, yes keeping an open mind if she comes along but that is about it. I have stuffed up a relationship where i have been engaged in and well, i have to live with that but in the mean time it is about meeting new people and having fun and learning about one's self and how others get off from your touch.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
I honestly do believe that there is committment in all of us. Some people are pretty selfish and choose to look out for themselves, however this is purely out of fear of eventual rejection. For me, whilst I am here to meet and hook up (and i'm not ashamed to admit it), I really do desire a committed, long-term relationship. It all depends on who you meet.I've already been married once (my ex and I still get along well and we decided on a mutual, friendly break-up, though shes now on the other side of the planet), so I know that I am capable of treasuring a long term realtionship and certainly aren't scared of it.My final thought: if you really want committment, if you want it to last: talk to your partner, get to know them very well. Don't just take things at face value.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Doctor_Ruffles'*applaud* exactly... and we are kidding ourselves if we want mr/mrs right here as you wont find them here. That's just silly. If this was a site dedicated to cooking, would you suggest that you'd never find love here because you have a shared interest in food? I've met some lovely women here - none that I've fallen in love with, but I certainly wouldn't say that they were unlovable because they're interested in sex.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Snowshoe' Quoting 'Doctor_Ruffles'*applaud* exactly... and we are kidding ourselves if we want mr/mrs right here as you wont find them here. That's just silly. If this was a site dedicated to cooking, would you suggest that you'd never find love here because you have a shared interest in food? I've met some lovely women here - none that I've fallen in love with, but I certainly wouldn't say that they were unlovable because they're interested in sex. I actually totally agree with that Snowshoe, even as self confessedly jaded (lol is that a word cos it looks funny now that I've typed it) person, I still believe that anything is possible. When you take into consideration some of the reasons people are here in the first place....post marriage/breakup of relationships, due to anything from emotional mismatches to incompatible sexual appetites. Why then shouldn't two like minded and well matched in appetites adults suddenly find themselves on here and finding each other. In fact due to those exact reasons, it's highly likely. I can relate to 40Deed in some aspects also, where my situation differed though is, mine had changed who I had become to the point where I was such a diluted version of my true self that I felt I owed it to my children to show them that no-one has to be anything but completely happy even if it means going through a terrible time to get there. I found with being honest (as much as I could within their understandings for their ages) being positive for the future and reassuring of the past (that it was nothing they had done) that there had been some very good times as well as the bad. They now realise and notice that I'm a much happier Mum , who has a sense of humour again, and am much more fun to be around. Commitment is in the heart of all of us, it's the ground work prior to this where we fuck it up I know there are circumstances where things change dramatically and drastically before our eyes midway through, but for the most part it's those things we tell ourselves we can overlook or even kid ourselves that we can change when heading into a commitment we need to work on. . geez bit early for a scroller DGT, Snowshoe pass me my bucket of coffee please
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Snowshoe' Quoting 'Doctor_Ruffles'*applaud* exactly... and we are kidding ourselves if we want mr/mrs right here as you wont find them here. That's just silly. If this was a site dedicated to cooking, would you suggest that you'd never find love here because you have a shared interest in food? I've met some lovely women here - none that I've fallen in love with, but I certainly wouldn't say that they were unlovable because they're interested in sex. Well the site isnt exactly "geared up" for love like a dating website now is it? I know what you mean though.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'D_G_T'I can relate to 40Deed in some aspects also, where my situation differed though is, mine had changed who I had become to the point where I was such a diluted version of my true self that I felt I owed it to my children to show them that no-one has to be anything but completely happy even if it means going through a terrible time to get there.geez bit early for a scroller DGT, Snowshoe pass me my bucket of coffee please I could have written your first paragraph word for word. Will a short black heart starter chased by a flat white work for you?
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 15123 Comments: 88158
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1417 Comments: 10229
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2521 Comments: 11674
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2506 Comments: 9759
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 1008 Comments: 5264
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1303 Comments: 5776
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 782 Comments: 1988
-
LGBT
Topics: 170 Comments: 867
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share