M62 F51
Is it that hard?
September 08 2012
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
Some people find it hard to say no and prefer to just ignore.But when we get messages from those that obviously haven't read our profile, well that is rude to begin with so I hardly think they deserve good courtesy.Fact is, if you fit our criteria, we'll get right back to you. ;)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hey guys, We hear what your saying..But when you send messages to couples under the belief we do fit the criteria of what their looking for, it annoys us that we've wasted our messages to ppl who couldn't be bothered. It really isn't that hard to reply...either way!
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RHP User
13 years ago
There have been numerous threads on this topic before, a couple just recently. Perhaps do a search in the forums :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Call me rude, call my nasty, call me a b*tch. All of what I believe I am not but that's your call, your opinion and they way you see it. If i am interested i will reply. If i am not I wont. That should be a good enough answer. On occasions ive also been real busy when ive opened a message and simply forgotten to go back to it and reply. I have missed out on some awesome people for my own lack of replies too. On the flip side, some of the people ive replied to saying I am not interested in I have copped abuse by them simply because my reply has been along the lines of "Thank you for your message, sorry you are not what im looking for, but i do wish you the best of luck". To that ive copped return replies saying your a fat b*tch anyway, or your ugly anyway i wouldnt touch you if you paid me. AND you wonder why at times people may not reply. That is my opinion on this matter. You are all entitled to yours. And that is respect. Personally I prefer to mostly only reply to those i am interested in. Sorry in advance if this may offend you.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I was recently berated for exactly this.......well the guy concerned certainly got my attention! Apparently he had sent me a message right before i left for a 9 day trip interstate.....where i had no phone or internet covereage, and as i had only just joined i wasn't too concerned about checking messages etc. The point is....it may not be the obvious reason......
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RHP User
13 years ago
OP Good morning - you are obviously new to the forums...so a tip rite off the mark ...search a topic before posting..cause this ones been done to death Secondly in the perfect utopian world wouldnt it be nice if everyone was just polite...and like um nice etc Reality check ....they arent Yes its lovely to receive messages back after you have made the effort to compose one and send one off...however ..news flash...not everyone thinks like that...and guess what..thats their perogative... I always reply to messages..like you I think its polite..even if its a" thanks but no thanks" situation..but not everyone thinks like me... if only they did :) People arent under any obligation here...if they chose to reply, so be it..if they chose to ignore..ditto... However the real smart thing to do..is look at how you maybe contributing to this issue (Im sorry ..did you think it was a one sided affair ?)..if your messaging completely inappropriate people and ignoring their specfics on their profile...well thats the number one reason why people ignore you....and also yep hard to believe..some of us have lives off RHP (not me at the moment - Im home sick....foxtel and forums are my life line..) who kinda read a message and may think "Yep I will get back to them - when IM READY !!!) Thats just two possible reasons for non replies Heres what I do know...posting a forum whinging..rarely wins you fans Disclaimer: This post would have been so different if my footy team had decided to like play footy in the first quarter last nite.......................................................aaarrrggghhh...off to sulk
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RHP User
13 years ago
What can I say! Go the Dockers. LOL! I didn't think people woukld be so offended by a non response. Oh well, looks like I'm a bad, bad girl! I only play with people who fit my criteria, so many from young puppies, probably drop dead gorgeous but....... it just wouldn't feel right, so why bother! I even had a template reply I tried using - something like" sorry honey but you're a bit young blah, blah." It was like I was sending out a challenge. I just kept getting more messages. So now it's the non response!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'jsk6767'I recently posted a topic with a similar theme pisses me off take a look and be prepared to be a little shocked,and worst still look out for what might be coming your way,however,if you get some of the comment's i received be like me and just laugh your head off,this seem's to cause the sender's to go crazy,and no it's not that hard to reply to a message is it,your's truely I think yours was about forum posts, but this one is about private messages (please don't take offense to this, but I do think there's a bit of a difference). But an answer to the original post in this thead, I usually reply to messages, even if I think the message I received was a little rude and out of line. I've some times received messages from people way out of the age bracket that I've set on my profile, and even though my profile states that I'm only in here to chat and frolick in forums, I've received an introductory message that says something along the lines of "Hi, I'm in a town near you for the rest of the week. Let's meet up". Oh.....be still my beating heart. Romeo is coming to a town near me and has requested the pleasure of my company for a quick romp to get his jollies off. How could I possibly resist (and for those of you who have a sarcasm meter, if it's not going off the scale by now, it needs to go in for repairs). But even then, I do try to reply with a polite "thanks, but no thanks" and sometimes throw in "you expect m to agree to meet you after just one message???" And yes, it is rude when you send a message that isn't rude or arrogant and get no reply at all.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Yes it's polite to respond to messages but you have to understand the people you are messaging may have trouble keeping up with the messages they receive as I've been on here maybe 7 or 8 weeks and I alone have had over 1600 messages and 1200 flirts its like a full time job to keep up especially when you have messages from people that just look at your photo and think yeah I'd do her or him and don't read your profile to see they don't fit your preferences so maybe give people the benefit of the doubt maybe they haven't replied because they havent read your message yet but anyway there's more to life then rhp so don't dwell on it and good luck someone is waiting for you to send them a message And yes I reply to all messages it just takes time
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RHP User
13 years ago
This issue is one that rears its ugly head quite constantly. When/if you meet someone from an exchange of messages, do you expect to play as well?? If not then why expect a reply from messages?? Set a time frame, if they haven't replied in that time frame move on. My second point, if these people don't have the respect to reply either way, do you really expect them to have any respect to the boundaries you set?? And last but not least, and my own personal favourite, if you're THAT reliant on people replying to be happy about your experience, then perhaps you may have a deeper issue?? Please don't misinterpret my intentions here, I am to the personal belief that if some has made an effort to approach me, then they deserve the courtesy of a reply either way. But, the fact is some people don't. Acceptance of others and their way of conducting themselves may not always be inline with your personal opinions.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Yes, it is hard :-( I'm accessing the site with my phone & replying to messages it sometimes just impossible, which can be frustrating at times. Like this morning for instance, received a message suggesting a coffee meet from someone I would actually like to get to knowingly and for the love of me I can't reply :-( KK xx
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RHP User
13 years ago
replies? we'll reply if its obvious our profiles been read. if it hasnt............lol
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RHP User
13 years ago
I have only just subscribed so that I can send messages to people in here and I have found that messages are not answered or people will answer the next day! It is polite for people to reply and just say no you aren't suitable or something similar( hey that doesn't mean you don't experience disappointment but you have to accept and move on.). When I get that type of reply I still thank the person for replying. karynb can confirm that..lolI like to think that sometimes the delay in messages can be contributed to the effeciency of the site message system. smileBut I think it is possible to liken the lack of replying to a scenario in which you are walking down the street and you see someone and you say" hello" and they don't even acknowledge it. I think your choice of " rude" is polite...lolCan someone tell me how I can post a new topic?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Luvnya69' Hey guys, We hear what your saying..But when you send messages to couples under the belief we do fit the criteria of what their looking for, it annoys us that we've wasted our messages to ppl who couldn't be bothered. It really isn't that hard to reply...either way! no expectations, no disappointment... how you FEEL about the lack of replies is the only thing you have control over, no point worrying about the rest
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RHP User
13 years ago
Wow! What a mixed bag of responses. Just to put it in the right context. We have been swinging for a number of years now and have never expected anything from anyone in this lifestyle. We're not dissapointed that they dont reply. It just shows us that there are people out there that really don't care if they reply or not, which tells us, "Are they really the type f ppl we want to play with"?
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RHP User
13 years ago
I don't send first messages these days, and never send flirts, but will usually reply unless it's a flirt, takes a while sometimes, if I'm feeling a little Meh about it.Seems to work ok really, I don't have to put in effort to have messages mostly go unread.I reckon I get contacted more than when I used to send messages.Probably helps that I really couldn't be arsed if I meet anybody anymore,they would have to bepretty damn special. I just like the Forums...mostly, sometimes...lolCheers Felonious
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RHP User
13 years ago
Take the time to read our profile and send a interesting message and we always get back....Ignore our profile and we do the same.... simple really ?
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RHP User
13 years ago
...not really. Just don't hit the reply button
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RHP User
13 years ago
Maybe this happens a lot, or maybe it's rare, but last week I sent a message to a couple looking to play and got a response to chat outside rhp. Not having much luck getting an initial contact on this site I thought I might as well as the profile seemed legit even though it wasn't verified. I then spent an hour chatting with the Mrs in the couple and having a good old time finding out about that they were new to this, as am I, and am looking to have some safe comfortable fun with a couple for my second time. The conversation ended quite abruptly, but as their kids were expected home I wasn't surprised so left it at that.Tonight I jump online to check some emails, and so does this couple so I instant msg them again saying hi only to get the most bizarre response:"Hi""Hello?""See ya and deleted ya u moron"Thinking this is a misunderstanding I send them a Rhp email saying must be a mistake was chatting yesterday, no probs if you don't want to continue talking but there's probably a nicer way to say it to which i get the reply "NO TIMEWASTERS" I'm pretty sure I haven't wasted anyone's time on this site, and am very upfront about the pace I move at and the only feedback of got is that its refreshing.Not to sure if I'd prefer to get the above response, or no response at all. Any comments?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Sorry Luvnya69, did you say something??
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Paradisepair
13 years ago
This is essentially a no-strings site. Sometimes we've got the time and inkling to respond to mails and flirts and other times there's other stuff for us to do. And unless someone suddenly went silent on us in the lead up to a date we wouldn't 'expect' a reply from anyone. Sometimes it would be preferable to get a response, courtesy and connection might influence our anticipation of a possible response but no-one here owes us one.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Sometimes a no response is a good indicator: either there is so much in their lives they are unable to respond or that is the type of people they are and they have already shown how reliable they are and not to waste your time and energy on. Don't take it as and insult or being rude per se, the one's truly interested and worth pursuing are the ones that respond ie. like minded people.
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RHP User
13 years ago
ill admit it , if someone messages us and theres just a pic of an arm or a leg or a toe or just some fuzzy background ,then we probably wont reply.. it takes too long having to ask for clear pics . from our experience ,when u message someone u may not get a reply till the nxt day or an hour later ..
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RHP User
13 years ago
When you think about it, not getting a reply is an answer. Or, maybe message receivers should start sending back a list of every reason why they aren't interested in the person?For example:Hello Tiny69_AssFingerThis is why I'm not interested:- You look like you haven't had a bath in two weeks- I don't like tattoos of swastikas - A garden gnome is sexier- You have a misshapen cock- You come across as a desperate sleaze who would fuck anything with a pulse- I believe women's underwear should only be worn by women- You have the writing skills of a five year old- You enjoy urinating on amputee transvestitesOn a more serious note, here is my personal etiquette protocol:Circumstances under which you shouldn't feel bad about not replying to a message:- Person doesn't match what you wrote you are looking for (doesn't have a photo, is too short, smokes, lives too far away, is married, has sexual interests that aren't compatible, etc).- Person clearly didn't read your profile as is evident from what they write or the questions asked.- Person made little, if any effort, to write something worth replying to.- Person is creepy, mad, aggressive, or sleazy in the way they express themselves or look- Person is your father, uncle or any other relation.
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rk5tar
13 years ago
Quoting 'triunity' Some people find it hard to say no and prefer to just ignore.But when we get messages from those that obviously haven't read our profile, well that is rude to begin with so I hardly think they deserve good courtesy.Fact is, if you fit our criteria, we'll get right back to you. ;) I agree. I took the time to be as specific and detailed in my profile as I could, so I wouldnt waste anyone's time. Yet I still get messages from males when I have popped it in my profile that I have a man and am after a lady. I am also on another site and experienced first hand the person I met and had fun with didn't read my profile when she texted me later saying tattoos were a turn off. I went back and checked and there in my profile it was clearly marked in the details where i had my tats. Didn't make me feel very nice after driving 2 hours each way thinking all went great. So I won't sugarcoat it for anyone any longer.I used to reply out of politeness. But after a while it gets annoying that I am expected to take the time to reply, when someone hasn't been bothered taking the time to read what I'm after in my profile??
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RHP User
13 years ago
Just move on.
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rk5tar
13 years ago
Quoting 'hardtruckin2011' This issue is one that rears its ugly head quite constantly. When/if you meet someone from an exchange of messages, do you expect to play as well?? If not then why expect a reply from messages?? Set a time frame, if they haven't replied in that time frame move on. My second point, if these people don't have the respect to reply either way, do you really expect them to have any respect to the boundaries you set?? And last but not least, and my own personal favourite, if you're THAT reliant on people replying to be happy about your experience, then perhaps you may have a deeper issue?? Please don't misinterpret my intentions here, I am to the personal belief that if some has made an effort to approach me, then they deserve the courtesy of a reply either way. But, the fact is some people don't. Acceptance of others and their way of conducting themselves may not always be inline with your personal opinions. Respect goes both ways, if they don't have the respect to read a profile fully before sending a flirt, then they too may not have the respect for *my* boundaries, no?As others have said, some people get loads of messages (lucky devils), others like myself log in and have a peek when they get a chance due to IRL commitments. Many of the people I have met up with or shared chats with have lives also which include work or families. Thankfully Ive only encountered one person who was less than impressed that I hadnt replied to her in 6 hours. I was mid interstate drive when she would have sent the message.As the PP said, "move on" and keep trying. I have been chatting with someone for a couple of weeks now that I originally messaged in May 2011. I have no idea where she got to until now, but I am pleasantly surprised with what has transpired from it after all this time. Hang in there mate.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I agree with EuropianblissIt happens so long as I have been nice in my message and not disrespected anyone
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hi guys, Thanks for all the mixed messages, time to move on witht this one.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I feel bad for not replying all the time but as I am a new member I have been inundated with requests (300 in 3 days) so I think it needs to be considered that it can be hard to reply to everyone
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RHP User
13 years ago
I'm all the way with ya Luvnya.. If u can't be bothered replying then you arnt worth the time of day anyway. And to the ones that are complaining that this has been brought up before !!! Well some of us have more to do than sit on the internet... Lol
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RHP User
13 years ago
corrrr if you messaged me I would have no problem in replying
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RHP User
13 years ago
i see both sides of it i guess, i mean you want someone to at least reply No so you dont keep wondering or sending anymore msgs, but on the otherside they dont want i guess you could say the conflict or bother of rejecting someone, but then its funny when they complain there being bombarded with mail lol
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RHP User
13 years ago
When you message a guest, of course we love to reply, but not having the guts to upgrade right away also makes things a little more difficult or rude depends on how you look at.....sorry
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RHP User
13 years ago
i my self i replay to every single message i get because i don't like to be rood but i don't like nasty message ether simple is that ....
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RHP User
13 years ago
Well said Dooza! Great minds think alike.. :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Dooza28'I'm all the way with ya Luvnya.. If u can't be bothered replying then you arnt worth the time of day anyway. And to the ones that are complaining that this has been brought up before !!! Well some of us have more to do than sit on the internet... Lol we feel that if people cant read our profile, we cant be bothered replying...works for us, famously....lol.
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RHP User
13 years ago
If they haven't replied to a well crafted /meaning / thoughtful message, too bad their loss !
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RHP User
13 years ago
There seems to be an abundance of profiles here that will read a message then not have the courtesy to reply, even with a simple ' no thanks ' which takes no time at all to type and hit the send button. But this site is not alone, it seems it's endemic with all sites. I have 2 pages of unread messages i have sent. Without wishing to generalise, couples usually always reply , younger women dont. Recent thread on profiles disapeering is also an interesting aside to this. I do believe the minority spoil it for the genuine people here but then life in general is increasingly like that too. Keep smiling.......
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RHP User
13 years ago
I guess if you have taken the time to read it and sent an email yes it is incredibly rude for them not to reply.it costs nothing to be polite .
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RHP User
13 years ago
You should here the silence from messages sent as a single male profile....but a least the messages i do get back are generally encouraging heheD xx
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RHP User
13 years ago
maybe you need to_______________read between the _______________"non-existent" lines_______________of the non-existent messages?_________________________I know I do..............___________________(happens to ALL of us im sure (men) I pretty much presume ive got about 10% chance of any girl responding (make that about 2% for the finer ones) I'm actually usually pleasantly surprised by ANY response, let alone a positive one.......if anything I get shittier when I read girls saying 'wont respond to winks' when they have to realise that to keep sending personalised messages to any girl we're interested in (and continually get zero response), then by sending 'winks' to essentially see if we'll at least get a response first, is really the only way we could stay sane and/or interested in RHP altogether.........
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jezebel_jj
13 years ago
Ive been on here as a single guy for about 4 years, now as a couple. Im yet to receive any abuse of any sort. I try to reply to messages in a timely manner but not always possible. So it really suprises me when i hear people talking about the abuse they have suffered. I have had people be a little rude to me in the past, but i think thats the limit.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Apparently manners are a thing of the past. Nothing when someone says they're interested and send you a message, you reply then nothing. Must cost too much to reply.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quite simple really... If a girl is receiving tons of messages then it's too hard to respond when not interested. Guys get way less messages on here, so when I receive mail or even a flirt from someone I'm not interested in then I will reply politely, but I'm not getting shitloads like the girls do, far from it
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RHP User
13 years ago
Well, I usually always try to reply to messages even if I'm not interested. Just a polite no.... But to be honest some messages are just not worth replying, especially if u can tell from that message that the guy didn't even read your profile, then sorry, but he doesn't get a reply!
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RHP User
13 years ago
yeeehaaa
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'triunity'Some people find it hard to say no and prefer to just ignore. But when we get messages from those that obviously haven't read our profile, well that is rude to begin with so I hardly think they deserve good courtesy. Fact is, if you fit our criteria, we'll get right back to you. ;) I totally agree with Triunity, I will always reply unless someone has obviously not read my profile. It clearly states when not to contact me, so people that do anyway will get no response.
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RHP User
13 years ago
We do read the profiles...that's why we send them a message. We're not into people outside ours or their requirements. To sum this one up from our point of view, It's not that hard to reply...either way! Thanks everyone for your comments. Bye for now.. :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
It's rude but so are people, just plain arrogant and selfish sometimes.Although, on a site like this I suppose it's easy to have a narrow view of what you want/looking for so if someone just wants sex and someone writes to them and says "hi, I am looking for my prince charming who will marry me" then you can understand why it may not get responded to.Even if I know or can pick up on the fact it won't work or there's no attraction I always respond out of courtesy because as you said they've at least taken the time to write to you.My exception to the rule - gay or bi guys that write or send flirts to me, if they can't even read my profile enough to know I am not interested in guys, then too bad for them.
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Innercircle
13 years ago
We don't respond to half our business enquiries, let alone messages on a 'sex site'. :PBut, actually, we very rarely never reply. If it's a single guy, we'll have fun with him for a few messages (they obviously haven't read our profile, so we'll waste their time too). If it's a couple or single girl that we aren't interested in, we'll craft a neat way of saying that to them.The worst offenders are people that register for parties, and then fail to reply to the invitation. Why someone would ask to join your group, and then simply not even respond when we say 'yes', boggles the mind.
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DonnaBrett
13 years ago
Quoting 'rockercouple80' The worst offenders are people that register for parties, and then fail to reply to the invitation. Why someone would ask to join your group, and then simply not even respond when we say 'yes', boggles the mind. It would seem to us that a lot of people think that registering interest to a party is like hitting the "Like" button on Facebook! LOL
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RHP User
13 years ago
Totally see where your coming from , we dont all sit by our computers waiting ,.......what annoys us , when they still look at your profile --with still no answer --which is plain rude ..
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