F53
Is discreet a dirty word...
April 08 2014
Comments
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sweetgem
12 years ago
Someone (male and female) is either hiding their secret affair from their partner; or they want complete discretion due to conservative family tradition, or personal comfort, or like you've said, just want the sex and not interested in doing anything else with the person they see, like going out to dinners occasionally before going into the bedroom. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
a complete paragraph,even a book.....I think it speaks volumes....you don't really need any thing else.....oh I forgot,they might be ASIO agents of course.....I once had a man tell me that he was a very important business man and couldn't possibly have his photo appear anywhere on the internet...his name was Bob:-) :-) xx Q
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RHP User
12 years ago
What you said.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Some may have children - who they wish to keep at a distance from their casual relationships - many women have it on their profile which is fine with me - they may wish to enjoy their sexuality without the attracting any social stigma :) Whatever the reason it is to be respected. - Posted from rhpmobile
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sweetgem
12 years ago
I won't go there with profiles that require me being completely discreet for seeing them. I am nobody's mistress or dirty secret, nor do I care if my friends or people I know find out that I'm on a site like RHP, and I am a professional working in the legal industry, plus operating my own business! So there is no excuse to ask or make me a secret! Where's my respect I often ask?! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I don't trust anyone who feels the need to try to convince me they're discreet...... or hot/sexy/loyal/honest/important etc...... I'll observe your actions and find out instead. DG - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
You have to be discreetor your mates will point and look with you with horror and say MY god you fucked THAT, exactly how much did you drink that night? discreet I do like, it rolls of the tongue like diplomacy, loose lips sink ships or give blow jobs, take your pick
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RHP User
12 years ago
Makes me click straight onto their relationship status and yep......married..........both males and females use this term.
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
DISCREET adjective 1.judicious in one's conduct or speech, especially with regard to respecting privacy or maintaining silence about something of a delicate nature; prudent; circumspect. 2.showing prudence and circumspection; decorous: a discreet silence. 3.modestly unobtrusive; unostentatious: a discreet, finely wrought gold necklace. Hang on these people might work for NCIS, the Russian Mafia, be hit men/women, work for French Legion Army... or they maybe wanted from the Italian Mafia or are on Australian most wanted list for robbing a bank or somefink??? They are embarrassed about somefink... Or they saying they are single when not...I know of a few people who say that and want total discretion because they don't want to be caught out and hide the fact.......cause they know, what they are doing is ethically wrong. What ever the case maybe...Discretion my friggin arss - there's no honesty there, so I bypass straight away. Foxy
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RHP User
12 years ago
I do tend to avoid the men whose profiles state they are single, and also specifically state a need for discretion. It brings up a few possible red flags for me. Most of us practice varying levels of discretion when it comes to family, work, friends, etc...I think when a guy feels the need to make a point of mentioning it in his profile, there is often a reason.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Feel the same way...so i normally tend to avoid them as well.
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RHP User
12 years ago
How would you like it if you're out with someone from RHP you decided to meet and then a friend, another RHP member, a relative, or work colleague see you and approach you and start playing thd question game? Awkward. Would you not like to be discreet because its none of those people's business to stick their nose in it?Possibly start gossiping... At work some of the guys love to brag about conquests and others don't. There's a silent aspect of respect for that other person with discretion and hiding it from other ppl in case something gets out the other person didn't want out. The world does like to judge and so its not necessarily you hiding from playing behind the back of a wife/gf. Maybe as some said, you don't want your kids to find out. There's two sides - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
You use the word discreet and have the words "ask me" in your profile, then I know your trouble, most likely a liar and defintely likely to doing something your not supposed to be doing. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
how's that for timing. Just got a message from a supposedly single guy "...looking for someone to spend some discreet time with exploring the kinkier side of sex".
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RHP User
12 years ago
I for one have used the word discretion in my profile....but I think the words that precede and follow it make the meaning of discretion less trashy and more respectful. To explain, I understand that some women require discretion because of their career, family, social circle etc....for whatever reason they have decided to explore their sexuality in a more private sense....some women. Also, I am not the type of guy who goes around telling people about what I did with a lady the night before etc. I like to show respect and integrity to the woman who has chosen me to share more intimate moments with. So in that respect I use the word discretion here. What I do have a problem with and one I have been caught in, is when some women think that it is ok to tell me to be discrete...which I will honour...but be using me to be cheating on someone else. I must say that people need to be more honest with each other and not be so bloody greedy. I felt so ashamed...so ashamed when I found out that the lady I thought was sharing things with me turned out to be a lier. Not only lying to me but also her partner. So yeh I do understand why when a person says they want discretion, alarm bells start ringing....but I also hope that by me using the word discrete in my profile does not send the message out that I will keep dirty secrets...I will not be a part of that.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I need discretion... Simple. Don't judge someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. I won't lie and say I am single, and I won't contact anyone who is looking for unattached men. (Unless in a friendly manner commenting about this or that). For those that think I am looking for a "dirty little secret" bite me! As always...... You be the judge. :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'leoman'but I also hope that by me using the word discrete in my profile does not send the message out that I will keep dirty secrets...I will not be a part of that. it's not just the possibility that they are not actually single. They may well be single in which case I get the impression that they see a woman from RHP as...hmm I really hate this term but I guess it fits...a 'free hooker'. So they are happy to fuck her but not be seen in public with her or anything else that might raise 'awkward' questions from other people as dickfullalove mentioned. I don't know people that are that nosy, but even if I did I would just say the person from RHP is a friend I met online and that's all...I don't owe anyone else a detailed description of what I do and who I know and how I know them. Yes, people gossip but thing is, they're going to gossip no matter what and if you live your life always worried about that then you won't have much fun. The not having kids find out thing is just a given as far as I'm concerned, if someone is a parent you know that goes with the territory. Having said all of that, obviously there may be circumstances where an above-average level of discretion is legitimately needed - and is not related to any form of cheating - in which case I would happy to accommodate that, given the guy is worth it .
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Ubthejudge76' I need discretion... Simple. Don't judge someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. I won't lie and say I am single, and I won't contact anyone who is looking for unattached men. (Unless in a friendly manner commenting about this or that). For those that think I am looking for a "dirty little secret" bite me! As always...... You be the judge. :) you state upfront in your profile that you are married, so it's a given that you want discretion. I think the OP is referring more to those guys who say they are single and talk about wanting discretion (correct me if I'm wrong Missb). That's the guys I'm talking about anyway.
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RHP User
12 years ago
it does muddy the waters and therefore some clarification is called for and to be expected. Single and want discretion is understandable, could be due to an ex or other family especially when kids are involved. Married, attached, in a relationship and want discretion, no thanks.
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Lovinit28andKC72
12 years ago
Yes why do you have the need to be discrete if you have nothing to hide...... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Judge clambers off his high horse and attempts to remove his unusually large foot from his mouth... :) xx. J xx
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
like I was told the other day... "I can be discreet if "I" only play at your place, cause you live alone...can I come over now?" That is not what I call "discreet" - that is what "I" call disrespect. Foxy
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy' DISCREET adjective 1.judicious in one's conduct or speech, especially with regard to respecting privacy or maintaining silence about something of a delicate nature; prudent; circumspect. 2.showing prudence and circumspection; decorous: a discreet silence. 3.modestly unobtrusive; unostentatious: a discreet, finely wrought gold necklace. And Discreteadjective1. Apart or detached from others; separate; distinct. "Six discrete parts"2. Consisting of or characterized by distinct or individual parts
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RHP User
12 years ago
my discretion is to assure couples that Im not going to disclose in these forums or outside to anyone else that they are indulging in a threesome. Some people like to keep that private.
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MissBishere
12 years ago
You are 100% correct. And I agree with everything you have said to :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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MissBishere
12 years ago
But the mentioning of being discreet due to kids I find a bit of a cop out. I wouldn't be introducing anyone from rhp or any fb to my kids and I don't play when I have them. I would expect the same in return. That's a given to me. I had a guy just last night telling how important he was and couldn't possibly put a pic up... He had to be discreet... Meh, so don't have time for them. Thanks everyone 😀 - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
Quoting 'Missb72' But the mentioning of being discreet due to kids I find a bit of a cop out. I wouldn't be introducing anyone from rhp or any fb to my kids and I don't play when I have them. I would expect the same in return. That's a given to me. I had a guy just last night telling how important he was and couldn't possibly put a pic up... He had to be discreet... Meh, so don't have time for them. Thanks everyone 😀 - Posted from rhpmobile Oh come on now, share with us his "important" secret job... Is he that important like the American President or he's that important, he has paparazzi chasing him to put his face pic on the cover of WHO magazine.... I know, I know...he's a dentist! (can't possibly show his face)
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RHP User
12 years ago
really why do you need to put the word DISCREET in a profile for any way isn't it a gimmy that if you are a play on this site that every one would like to have some discretion I know I'm not going to go around and the world who what I'm doing I'm pretty sure you are all the same so to me if some one is using it in their profile they're hiding something
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RHP User
12 years ago
Its not whether you introduce someone to them, its whether that someone who you thought was worth meeting up with turns to be creepy/stalkish and approaches you by "accident" in a shopping mall for example while with them. Everyone hopefully is careful but how many times has bunny boiler come up in these forums. Also kids don't need to know everything if they go home tell the other parent and they don't like it. *shrugs* I don't know. I just respect privacy like that. Its up to me whether I play with a discreet person and what bs im willing to go with or cut the chord right? - Posted from rhpmobile
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MissBishere
12 years ago
He couldn't even tell me 😳 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am very discreet even though I am single. I have my son's to protect and I do not want my friends and family knowing who I see and fuck. It is none of their business and I like to keep my private life ... well ummm private. I interpret discrete as either yes they are married etc OR they are similar to me and prefer things private. Nothing wrong with that.....RIGHT. At the end of the day it is about respect for another person.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Missb72' But the mentioning of being discreet due to kids I find a bit of a cop out. I wouldn't be introducing anyone from rhp or any fb to my kids and I don't play when I have them. I would expect the same in return. That's a given to me. I had a guy just last night telling how important he was and couldn't possibly put a pic up... He had to be discreet... Meh, so don't have time for them. Thanks everyone 😀 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yes Luckdragon...that is a very valid point....one in which I agree.
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NawtyNNice777
12 years ago
I mention discretion in my profile, and I am well and truly single. And I'm looking for a FWB, not just FB, so I guess that eliminates the 'not wanting to be seen together in public' factor. What I mean by discretion is that I value my privacy. Just because I'm a woman who loves and craves good sex, doesn't mean I have to put it out there for the whole world to see. Plus, in today's online world it is so easy for your online profile to impact on your real life. We just recently had a guy sacked over a comment he made on Facebook. I guess what I'm saying is: 1. I have a life outside of RHP 2. There's more to me than the woman on RHP who loves sex 3. I don't want 2. negatively impacting on 1., and unfortunately women who openly admit to their libido are still often labelled whores, sluts, and much worse... And yes I agree, someone who is married or attached, and asking for discretion... Something smell fishy around here?? NN xx - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
So all the anti discrete brigade have full facial pics on their public profile and cc work colleagues their rhp behaviour I think not - we all have levels of discretion just the depth varies :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Missb72' He couldn't even tell me 😳 - Posted from rhpmobile Who really cares why he couldn't tell you. He didn't and you should leave it at that. Why belittle him further in an open forum. You never found out his reasons and you are just jumping too conclusions. Fair enough you may be judging from your own past experiences tho every man dog and human is granted some element of respect. In all seriousness you woman shit me some times with your bruised bullshitness.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Mine states discretion Only because I have young children, and I wish them to remain separated from my 'me time' for now. I'm single and not hiding anything other than young children's minds and thought processes. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I usually pass by profiles that state they need to be discreet. I am usually a pretty trusting person but that word does get me wary. I am not really sure I have encountered anyone who goes shouting it from the rooftop when they meet someone online so if you have nothing to hide then why would you feel the need to be discreet? Anyone with half a brain would consider personal circumstances when it comes to kids or crazy ex's and even work so I don't really get it either.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Inspirit.............
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MissBishere
12 years ago
I couldn't care less why he couldn't tell me that's his prerogative. We all have a choice in how we approach rhp (or other sites) and other people. If they choose not to share pics that's fine, same as I choose not to give them an email address or my number. And I don't believe I belittled anyone in an open forum and please explain what conclusions I was jumping to exactly? Would that be similar to you jumping to the conclusion that the said man was from rhp? Oh and btw, I don't limit my respect to just dogs, I respect all animals but not all humans :P As to your other post about the use of "cop out" in hindsight I can see this was not the best phrase to use as it does not convey my meaning well. I was referring to those that had commented that being discreet could be required due to having kids. I guess again it's a choice isn't it I would not use the word discreet in that situation. All I was saying is that not being around my kids and me not being around there's is something that I would expect. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
You still belittled a man in here in an open forum, you took the piss out of him with another fellow forumite, you can not deny that. . I get sick of reading snide comments about men. Sure there is the bad and ugly tho fuck! There is just as many woman who are bad and ugly. I NEVER read comments about woman in such a way! If I did many of you would jump on the band wagon and point the finger! If you didn't care then why post about it. Seriously get your mind in tact before you speak. I am no angel and I am no advocate for fuckwits tho I do have compassion and a healthy respect for men. Call it an expectation as you will about kids tho some of us like to call it discreet as we have no expectations. Therefore a simple word such as "discreet" will be used. I rarely comment on here these days because most posts end up a slander on men!
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RHP User
12 years ago
makes me run a mile.... But I have to put my hand up as some lovers may never use the words on their profile. but fuck they've got it covered.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I live in what I call a large town with a small mind. All of my work mates think I'm a boring housewife and in reality my husband and I enjoy an open marriage. I don't want people to know. But that's my prerogative. Plus I have children. I'm on the p & c lol. If discretion is asked for I give it. That being said I don't discuss my sex life with many people anyway. - Posted from rhpmobile
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sweetgem
12 years ago
My friend and I were having a conversation on similar topic the other day. My friend asked me why would some people (male and female) still have a secret affair outside their exclusive relationship or marriage when they are scared as hell to be caught by their partners?.........my answer was I DON'T KNOW! lol Because I am not them and there is no way I can guess their reasoning. Similarly, I do not know why the single men on a site like RHP would want to emphasise about discretion in their profiles. Only them know the real reason behind their request, and I respect that even though I don't get it. So all I can do in cases like this is to move on with respect for the person. Meaning, if I received a message from a man whose profile mentions discretion, I would reply back to say that "I have recently met someone whom I click with enormously and want to chance it with him". Yes, it might a poor excuse or a white lie, but at least I don't hurt the man's feeling. Surely, any sensible man would understand that I am entitled to go with what I like, right? given that I have clearly stated what I seek on RHP. There are always a better way to handle situations, or a nicer way to speak to other people. Therefore, no need to be harsh or nasty to other people just simply because I don't like them or things that they say (unless they've attacked me first for no good reason, then of course I wouldn't hold back). This is a valuable experience I've gained as I'm climbing up the age ladder :-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
that there are legitimate reasons for some people to have the word discreet on their profile.....this has been clarified simply because the OP asked the question.....A question that was important to her.....Many single women,for many different reasons do not want lovers who are attached or married.....if a person can not clarify the reason why they have the word discreet on their profile then of course one would think that the person,regardless of gender has something to hide Xx Q
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Smilingwithfun
12 years ago
I love the words "A Given" It may come as a surprise but there are people out there who don't get "A Given" It needs to be written. How many women check to see the man is wearing a condom before he has intercourse. Now I would have thought that was "A Given" yet you still check. How about you check why he has Discrete on his profile before making assumptions. There are a number of women on their profiles that have Discretion required, so they are covering that request. Also maybe they are saying that if we do have intercourse that I won't be down the pub the next day telling my mates who ive just FUCKED, which if you live in a non capital city can be important.
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madotara69
12 years ago
We want to shout it from the roof tops, how great that lover is, fantastic and all that jazz. But we don't, we have a PA with a great mike, saves damaging the vocal chords. Fuck , we joined this site to be a little discrete, within the first few weeks the whole world knew about us, face book what a blast. Turns out no one hounds us, just a little shy themselves. For a while we seemed to have an extra few visitors, that's about all. he he If you want it kept quiet, that is a shame, we think it is a wonderful thing, but we respect others wishes just the same. Guess if the blokes are cheating, Tara herself won't have anything to talk about, I feel much the same. We don't talk out of school and we don't break those simple rules. Don't really give a flying fuck why one would be cheating, keep it discrete from us by walking past. It's not just about you. Mado Tara xx
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
and from her point of view and her status (as profile), her question is important, that is why she posted a Forum Topic. As a poster I tried to see it from her point of view and mine as well ..and she also asked if "discreet was a dirty word". As others have posted, to some yes and others no. She didn't ask for her posts to be pulled apart nor ridiculed for answering others questions. *sighs* Sorry OP that happened Foxy (must be berry careful not to post about peoples top-secret jobs/roles - especially dentists who do not show their face)
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RHP User
12 years ago
I know that when I was reading the above comments and the jokes about people's "secret jobs" I thought that someone could read those comments and feel that they were bitchy in nature and that some of the posters have been ridiculing and mocking people for having discreet on their profile. To be honest that is how I read them. Sure, to me it sounds like they have something to hide but maybe they have a very good reason. If you are interested all you have to do is ask, if they wont tell you then they are not sufficiently interested in you to tell you.
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Plain280
12 years ago
Or as the RHP jury says cop out, you get a lot of stick for stating the truth of a situation. I can understand the wariness of why the Discrete term being used, but really how else can you communicate what you want from this site. I thought we were all supposedly adults in this and thats the reason we populate this sight to be discrete, it is just the usual issue of why we use the term that gets us into trouble ie single people, business people etc etc. Got nothing to hide in my profile maybe if I did I could hoodwink the odd person, but then again I could not live with that basic dishonesty so Discrete is not a dirty word.
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RHP User
12 years ago
discreet means you are never going to meet anyone else in their lives...its purely for sex only. The reasons why are only known to the person.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Im with you on this,critical word is observation ! Everyone who posts on the forums are building a mental profile for other forumites to discect or warm too - the said person or persons ,if you click with certain ones then over time,messages calls etc discretion can then be introduced to the conversation with the reasoning behind it,Im very discreet I don't tell my oldest son who lives with me im on RHP,does that mean I have something to hide,or does it mean im being discreet ? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I've nothing to hid from anyone (well except my 2 older sons lol) otherwise I'm open book on everything :)) fuk all that hiding secrete shit.
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RHP User
12 years ago
It's not just partners that people try and keep their RHP life hidden from with the term 'discreet', people with professional lives do get fired from time to time for their online antics and I can certainly empathise if someone was say, a high flying lawyer, that they would prefer their FWB to be a little discreet about things.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy' Quoting 'Missb72' I had a guy just last night telling how important he was and couldn't possibly put a pic up... He had to be discreet... Oh come on now, share with us his "important" secret job... Is he that important like the American President or he's that important, he has paparazzi chasing him to put his face pic on the cover of WHO magazine.... I know, I know...he's a dentist! (can't possibly show his face) or could be a kid's teacher, coach juniors, or any number of things where people might take a dim view of their 'activities' to the point where it impacted negatively on that person's life.
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Seachange73
12 years ago
Quoting 'Tex2251' it does muddy the waters and therefore some clarification is called for and to be expected. Single and want discretion is understandable, could be due to an ex or other family especially when kids are involved. Married, attached, in a relationship and want discretion, no thanks. In my opinion, discretion does not have to be dirty. I am single. Not married (divorced) nor attached. I have a career and businesses to run and out in the public all the time. I also have teenage kids. These factors alone are initiators for me to tack the discreet approach. My approach in discretion in this site is not to publicly display my facial pics as potential and existing business clients can spot me here and I dont want that to affect my family and businesses. Avoiding complications. I live in a very conservative, Anglo, well-to-do suburb in Melbourne where it gets cliquey and lots of bored housewives gossip between rounds of golf and tennis and school drop-offs. When my boys were a bit younger, I would hang around a few minutes with other parents before heading to work. And the gossips on the other people (most I dont even know) were just sick and unimaginable!!! As my father said, 'Idle minds are the Devil's playground'. I have been contacted by supposedly 'single' and 'unattached' males here but wont meet in public for a drink. They prefer to go straight to business. Hahaha. Such boys. NO THANKS. Definitely a red flag. If I get contacted by a married man, I prefer that he says he is married. I have more respect and compassion for his situation and for his sense of honesty to himself and I.
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Seachange73
12 years ago
Quoting 'inspirit' I am very discreet even though I am single. I have my son's to protect and I do not want my friends and family knowing who I see and fuck. It is none of their business and I like to keep my private life ... well ummm private. I interpret discrete as either yes they are married etc OR they are similar to me and prefer things private. Nothing wrong with that.....RIGHT. At the end of the day it is about respect for another person. I agree with you here. If any person misinterpret what I mean by discreet, pffft. No interested in insisting myself as there are more important things to do in life to worry about somebody's thoughts on discretion. Simply, I am NOT for them and they not for me at that point in time or even forever for that matter. There are more fish in the sea...I am just a single parent with active intelligent teenage boys who are currently discovering themselves and forming friendships with other kids their age. Don't want to mess things up for them (kids and some dull parents can be cruel) due to my indiscretions. I will protect them from negative feedback and gossips that may affect their friendships and ultimately, their well being. I am simply a private person and there is nothing wrong with that.
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RHP User
12 years ago
What a load of fuss over nothing. I'll say it again, and I don't care if you don't agree with me, kids are a given. Nobody has to tell me to be discreet if they have kids, it is automatically assumed. But I do prefer to play with people that don't have kids anyway. If someone has some other reason for wanting to be discreet, such as work, then I'll evaluate it on an individual basis, and if they won't tell me their reason then I assume they're cheating and it's an automatic "next".
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RHP User
12 years ago
it's not just if there are kids involved...I practice discretion regardless, and obviously it is important to me as well as it is to most people. It's when someone specifically mentions it, and it's not apparent from their profile why, that I would like to know the reason so I can avoid if necessary.
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