M55
Introducing a new friend to the lifestyle
April 03 2010
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
First off congratulations for admitting that you would only choose to be with someone open and into the lifestyle. Many couples you meet are only doing it for the other partner and only to spice up their marriage and try something new. When I met Woody I was a swinger at heart but had never gone there. My relationship and lifestyle is something that I would not change as I do enjoy it a great deal but I think you need to ask yourself these questions: 1. Can you handle the attention that she is going to get from a huge amount of guys (and girls)? Is this likely to lead to jealousy on your behalf. Is she likely to get jealous? 2. Can you talk honestly and openly about the scene and what you are both feeling? This is imperative. 3. Are you willing to take a break from the scene for a while when things dont work out and you need to concentrate on your relationship with her? 4. Are you going to stay with her if she decides that the scene is not for her? Pusscat xx
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RHP User
16 years ago
I to would only go into a relationship if the guy will swing .. You are lucky cruising...the few men I have met from the dating site you re talking about have all told me they cannot handle swinging...well they would be open to FFM but not MFM.. At least I was honest with them...ohhh..well. Good luck with your new girlfirend babe..Do hope tis a long loving relationship with lots of sexy fun!.. hugs n kisses sweetpetite41xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Thank youPussycat, one must know why they play. For me I can't be sexually satisfied with just the one partner. I'm creative, romantic and adventurous but to be with the same person for the rest of my life???? I liken it to your favorite breakfast cereal, it tastes great but to have it everyday for the rest of your life.....I think not.Swinging isn't a weekly thing for me it is a blue moon or when and opportunity arises. My last long term relationship, we talked about it more than actually doing it and it was fantastic. Just knowing we could play was enough :)Sweet, I love MFM and would never place any restrictions on my partner as I would expect her to not restrict me. It's about balance, equality and fun. I'm not the jealous type and very secure in my capabilities not only in the bedroom but as a loving partner and provider (you know what I do for a job so never intimidated either).Will I stay with my new girlfriend if the lifestyle wasn't for her???? No, I wouldn't get that far involved with someone who wasn't into the lifestyle. If things changed years down the track, well we all do crazy things for love, I would take steps to keep my relationship strong and secure.I will let you all know how our first play night goes and keep a look out for our new profile (should she give it the thumbs up)Dane
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RHP User
16 years ago
Crusiing, I agree with you - to be with one partner for the rest of my life would drive me silly. I love variety and so does Woody. I dont think that human being where put on this planet just to be with one person. Yes, he is the love of my life, but we can both accept that we need different people from time to time. I hope it all works out for you! Pusscat xx
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RHP User
16 years ago
I will probably be shot for this, and be hounded out of RHP ....Cruising, I gather your new partner knows of your swinging history. Just don't expect her to jump with glee at the prospect. You said you 'sensed she was bi' - have you asked her? Not all people are into the swinging lifestyle and not all people would be comfortable knowing their new partner won't be satisfied with just them. To expect someone from a tame site to have the same sexual outlook as the people here might be unrealistic.You evidently like this woman, as you said you have started a relationship. You also said that you are a very occasional swinger so you have to make the decision. Someone who will be with you all the time against a night of fun and sex once every blue moon? To try to talk someone in a new relationship into something like this could be fraught with danger.Look I have met quite a few women who were extremely highly sexed, but the thought of doing anything swinger wise was against all their morals. They loved sex but only with the guy or gal they were seeing at the time.All I am trying to say is just because you enjoy the lifestyle, don't automatically expect others to agree with you, the you might not like the response you get....goes and hides in the air raid shelter
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RHP User
16 years ago
Helloooooooo... Hmmm..ok..my 10 cents here..hehe.. I have had a few long conversations with cruising..He comes across to me as a man that totally respects all. Yes , he does love the swinging scene and knows what will and will not work with a woman..He has said he would not enter a relationhip if she was not open to explore it. This lady has said yes to go to her first swing night..Doesn't that say she is open to the idea? That she feels safe with cruising to do that with him..lol..I know I would considering his line of work! As I have said in my previous post..I have told a couple of men what I was into...naturally they were at first excited by the idea...but as we got more closer they chose to walked away..deciding that they would not be able to share me. Wonderful guys..Who totally understood my desire to explore as I had to miss out on yrs of fun. They have had their share of fun and only desire 1 on 1. So yes...there are those many souls out there that don't agree with the swing lifestyle. Sadly there are jerks out there that are on this site but would never have a relationship with a woman who is into swinging..double standards..But that is for another post..lolz! Me...I will just slowly keep on going ..If the right guy does come along and enoys this lifestyle..Well that would be wonderful. If not...doesn't matter as I know I am living my life how I want. Enjoy your first swing night with your new girlfriend cruising... huggies sweetpetite41xxxxxxxxxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
My apologies to both Crusing and Sweet, I didn't fully comprehend the original post. Still stand by some of my comments though, not everyone on RHP are naturally swingers.
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RHP User
16 years ago
I am not in the true sense a swinger...I prefer my fun at a private residence...not at any clubs. For me the clubs just offer a chance to meet other open minded souls socially. I think I am just uncomfortable at the clubs as I am single..If I were attached then I think I would be relaxed more. huggies sweetpetite41xxxxxxxxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Mooka,I wasn't offended by your comments and sweetpetite is very protective of friends even if just online buddies :) Yes my partner knows of my history, I am very open and not shy in expressing who I am. I actually told her in the first week of knowing her. I wouldn't say she jumped with glee, more very curious given her own history and lack of sexual exploration. Yes it makes me vulnerable to her disdain but that same vulnerability can bring strength to a couple's relationship. I did ask her if she was bi, and is one of five questions I ask any potential partner on the 1st or 2nd date. Her reply was "I'm curious and not put off by FF intimacy". "Sensing" may not have been the best descriptive word :)You're correct not all people would be comfortable knowing that their partner won't be satisfied with just them. Which is great that my partner accepts my reasoning.My last long term relationship was with a girl from a "tame" site and within a few months we were swinging and attending parties including the sensual ball. We created a profile on here and were able to meet some great people. She discovered her bisexuality with me and she felt secure enough to be free. If you're not being honest to yourself and to your partner then any relationship is doomed. I have also met lot's of women and have found most to have been shut down by possessive, jealous partners who are insecure and not comfortable with sexual openness. When given the opportunity to be themselves and the sexual creatures all humans are they give back 10 times as much
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'cruising If you're not being honest to yourself and to your partner then any relationship is doomed. I was honest last night to a guy I met on a dating site...I could see the chemistry was there....So I told him i was on RHP,....Just ended with him walking out the door saying that telling him that did not make him feel special...And me in tears for a couple of hours. My honesty has once again failed to have a wonderful guy in my life...A man that gives me butterflies in my tummy and makes me happily nervous... My whole body feels so heavy and was real hard to drag myself out of bed today. I have puffy eyes too! Seems that a woman knows what she wants...Well men just see that as a threat to their manhood. I am at a loss here...Do I give up my desires ? heavy hearted here.. sweetpetite41xxxxxxxxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Gorgeous Sweet, NEVER give up! There is someone out there for all of us. If he didnt understand then he wasnt the one and honesty is crucial in relationships. Cya Sat! Pusscat xxxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Pusscat...thanks talked to him on the phone..We really like each other..And now will just see if even a friendship can be there..He is still in a lil shock. I am happy to be just a friend..He is a real nice guy...Just hope he can too... Huggies.. sweetpetite41xxxxxxxxxxxxx see ya on Sat!...
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hey Sweet, I wish I could give you a big girly hug and we could share a box of tissues as we sob our hearts out. I think many women on here are judged for one reason or another. Assumptions made about my choosing to be on rhp is one of my ongoing frustrations. Many guys don't believe they can "trust" me as obviously if I'm on here then I must be a cheating double-timing bitch ! Their loss !!! xx Miss Saturn
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RHP User
16 years ago
Miss Saturn everytime I read one of your posts, well not everytime, I look again at your profile and the pictures of you. I have of course read a lot of your posts. You are definitely one of the like-minded people here on RHP I would love to meet in person. These guys you talk about leave me ...speechless. They don't but my replies are non too polite. Sometimes it's hard being a man for fear of being classified along with the 'idiots' . I know its old and corny but tell them..'to assume is to make an arse of themselves." my version...lol
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RHP User
16 years ago
Thanks for your kind words Miss_Saturn.. I have not heard from him for a cpl days now...but our last convo was that he was happy to catch up with me when I am down his way next week. See how that goes..... He is a rare handsome totally 1 on 1 guy..not even interested in FFM. So he is not my match. But I do hope he can see past what he now knows and be a friend.. Time will tell on that. If not then that I will just have to accept..I understand his feelings..All good. huggies sweetpetite41xxxxxxxxxx
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