M55
International Women’s Day, happy?
March 09 2025
But that’s never enough. My mother, aunts, sisters, daughter, nieces, friends and lovers struggle each day with the hubris, ignorance and violence of men.
Rather than become entrenched in polarising debate I want to find a third way to understand our difference and diversity. An alternative to conservative v woke.
Increasingly this has been enabled by my learning to stay with and own my own vulnerabilities and develop my interception, the sense of what is going on in my body.
Taking responsibility for oneself as a man begins here. Masculinities do not need to be like downed aircraft, evacuation slides enabling men to make culturally sanctioned exits from our own discomfort.
Paradoxically, learning how to sit in the depths of these churning uncertainties about ourselves, brings about a resilience and openness that is at once a remedy to ignorance and hubris and a doorway to extraordinary new pleasures.
Pleasure is a part of why we are all here. To the men in on Rhp I invite you to learn how to recognise your vulnerability and regard it as the super power it is. Learn about your vulnerability so others do not need to feel the consequences of your ignorance of it.
Unimagined vectors of pleasure will reveal themselves when you do this difficult and uncomfortable work.
I want to be happy on IWD. But I’m not. We need to do so much more. 🌈
Comments
friendseeker
17 days ago
You raise so many points centred on the third way of understanding. As Grace Tame said, it doesn't take a man to be a husband, father or sibling of a woman to understand that treating women with respect is fundamental. Oh and before i go on, International Mens Day is 19 November 2025 just in case some men feel threatened by IWD. What really frightens me about continued misogyny is the paternalistic religious dominance in many countries. Including the resurgence in the USA once the leaders in equality. Social media dominated by bullies such as Musk embolden hatred of women. Women are continued threats by men. It is men who need to change.
nightingale8
16 days ago
Thank you for raising it. Like with most things, I missed it.
I do think the conversation needs to change away from vulnerability to listening and positive regard. Without it we’re set against each other and it becomes a power struggle between the sexes. I love men! And I love men who love women!
Listening and sharing ideas isn’t possible when we’re all on different social media channels. Rule of thumb, when information seeks you through an algorithm ‘reality’ becomes one warped Truman show. Know your overlords, people!
(So, no not happy 😜)
Pangolin28
15 days ago
I am not entirely sure where this post is going. I celebrated women's day a good 20 years ago when I was visiting Russia for a few months. Funnily enough I and everyone else I spoke to hear had no idea of women's day as it was not really recognised here. Now it is and I see mens day is too.
What I don't understand is this post seems to be an almost get your shit together men post.
Do people follow social media at all because men are copping a hell of a lot of crap too.
These times have become very strange as feminism has almost brought a bit of equality but at the same time has beaten the shit out of men with women's expectation of men becoming very high and so many not being able to meet this level of what women are wanting.
I have not seen much of it through this site but I do see men copping the crap end of the stick here.
We pay send messages as women have no need of membership, yes I know some pay but it would be 5% that do. We make the first move. We are rejected constantly without reason or explanation and have to have good photos and profile to even be considered as women do not as we are chasing.
Yes I understand that women cop a lot of abuse from time to time but weighing it all up men are clearly the ones suffering on dating sites.
This post reminds me in the exact opposite way of that god awful whatever podcast
Miss_Winter
5 days ago
This is beautiful. And authentic. And genuine and that's why you can be free to feel some happiness on International Women's Day. Because you are already the man you claim you want to be. You already empower women and in a way that makes us value ourselves, not rely on being valued. It's extraordinary.
Even doing that for one woman would be reason enough for you to feel proud and happy. I can't think of the numbers of women you have influenced so positively, though.
The topics you raise are so universally important and I don't want to diminish your legitimate feelings around how men in general could do so much more ... but you do so much for so many without realising it so please do feel happiness today - if only for the women you know who have benefited from your beautiful wisdom, understanding, knowledge and kindness xxx
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