F46
Instant Gratification
May 11 2023
The things I've noticed that people get upset about.
Not getting a response as soon as a message is read.
Not getting a like back when they like you.
Sending 3 messages backwards and forwards and you don't hear from them again. Say they are interested but don't ask anything meaningful. They get so upset about the lack of conversation they block you.
Getting upset when an offer is rejected because the number of validation is apparently supposed to evoke an automatic yes.
Getting upset when they ask to meet you after 4 messages and the answer is no not yet. As the person is yet to plight your interest.
Blocking you because they drop their private album and you don't reciprocate.
Blocking you when they say “I'm an open book ask me anything” and you don't reply because they messaged you first but what you to lead the conversation.
Humans are interesting creatures and I wonder what others have experienced?
Comments
ComfortZone
a year ago
Sadly I have experienced all the scenarios you listed. Very frustrating. I don't let it bother me too much these days. And despite what many will say, a majority will judge a book by its cover. I don't think I photograph well so that can make it difficult for me to get any return messages. Or are we all guilty of varying degrees of shallowness???
Cuddles4fun
a year ago
Yes I've experienced some of the same and it's part of the reason why I locked my inbox so I can't receive messages anymore. Getting messages such as "it's a sex site, what are you doing here then?" just because you won't immediately agree to meet someone for sex are quite frustrating.
Hotwife71
a year ago
Had a message from a well validated member.
He sent aome pics and i said we are not intetested and will pass, thanked him for reaching out though.
He got narky and Replied Too Old etc.
Then why did you contact me.
Lostyanumber
a year ago
Welcome to the 21st century...
Obi1kenietzsche
a year ago
Please Explain
You are a man.
You are a young man.
You send many messages.
Perhaps lots and lots of messages.
You think you are rather “top shelf” and have a long list of validations to prove it.
But you still want more, and deserve it. Because you work hard on your body
And so you get quite miffed then
when you are so rudely ignored
Why does this matter to you?
Because you are a man
You are a young man
MsSuperFoxy
a year ago
Absolutely, Humans are interesting creatures.
I find it's not so much on here and the messaging, it's more in the outside real world and people I've actually met.
There's some great qualities in human beings. One being the empathy we have for each other. Smiling is another. It's amazing how a smile can change another's mood.
Ms Foxy 😁😀
piediluvva
a year ago
This is the way things play out.
Especially to the extent that the 'Single Men' have a VERY difficult Time with this also. Admittedly, a LOT deserve to be blocked, but those that 'require' Instant Gratification are usually the ones that are ill based in this scene, and are usually the ones You need steer well away from.
I work tumultuous hours, and Free time is thinly spread over the Month for Me, BUT I make the Time to chat and get to know people and the interests WE all have, whether in common with one another or not. So when the 'Free Time comes about, things are planned, expected and well discussed.
This above scenario doesn't happen often with most on here. Blocking for Me (and most 'Single Men' in My position) usually happens 'mostly' because of the aforementioned imbeciles that have abused the trust of the Lady or Couple that are interested in having a Man/GentleMan to meet.
Attraction is WAY more than just Skin Deep, and luckily here (and other Sites I am on), intellect seems to be abundant with those I reach out to, or who reach out to Me, and so is Respect.
squirtingmilf1
a year ago
@ex007 in response:
*Written as my opinion only and in no way a judgement or disrespect to anyone that thinks/ acts or behaves differently to me*
As a female who has written a straight forward, no nonsense profile, I have found that those that peak my interest are the ones that have taken the time to read and understand my profile.
I strategically did not place my face picture on my profile for two reasons.
1. My career in the Corporate world needs to remain professional with my personal life kept private.
2. If initially attracted to my profile picture, and they took the time to read my profile, I will know.
That to me shows respect and also that they require value and substance. 
In a society where many look
at this as a numbers game and for some body count is as flippant as revolving doors, I appreciate those that ‘ understand the brief.’
Having received many messages where my profile have been positively commented on and praised for my “know what I want” Bio, I will write a reply if I know for certain that I am not attracted to this person or their profile does not resonate with me.
I see it as a courtesy and the least I can do to thank them for writing, a well thought message.
They have shown respect in reading my profile, and placed thought into what they have written and I believe that standard should be met on both sides. 
I do not think I am better, nor do I hold myself higher than any, however they deserve the same respect as they have shown me. 
In replying, I have not left them in limbo, I have not misled them nor left them wondering 
why and I have been told that this has been appreciated.
Now on the flip side, my profile states my inability to be on the platform constantly, but sets boundaries that I was comfortable, putting into place very early on.
This means at times with travelling for work, it can be weeks and weeks of sporadic messages getting to know each other, and then in some cases organising to meet and in many knowing that we aren’t compatible which doesn’t lead any further.
•The need for instant, gratification is only a need for that person to feel validated.
Given the fact that I’ve been so transparent on my profile, I feel no guilt regarding their issue for this.
It is frustrating when many have not read my profile and think that because they are online a lot, I must be too?
I like yourselves have read messages and not been able to write a response at that particular time thinking I will come back to it and haven’t done so straight away and many cases forgotten to log out so it looks like I’m online.
I don’t like needy and clingy, so to see that someone has written 20 to 30 messages is an instant turn off and results in immediate blocking.
If someone writes a follow-up message, that can be appreciated. 
•Send me filth, and I block immediately.
Rudeness isn’t tolerated - I have only had two men tell me that I was stuck up and did I think I was better than them because I hadn’t replied?
Normally, I would have just blocked them, but in both of these cases, I actually wrote to them and gave them a stern lesson in what it’s like to be a piece of meat a.k.a. female on this site.
Both replied with an apology. 
To this day, I still haven’t read all of the messages that have been sent to me. I simply don’t have the time.
So for those men that have read my profile and written, it becomes a case of your message goes down the page further and further, the more that we receive so messages are easy to miss.
It is not intentional, just near impossible to keep up. 
I don’t see the amount of messages as flattery or me amazing, I simply see it as many working the odds, and placing multiple bets.
Out of so many, they’re bound to get at least one, and that’s the goal…. right? 
So in reference to the above, initial start up conversation, here is how I respond:
• The need for instant gratification is definitely an issue.
•If someone gets upset about not receiving a response as soon as it is read, they have too much time to spend on here because for most of us, life is busy and not everything can be completed then and there. (I will quickly message if I want them to know I have seen their message but can’t reply at that time but will as soon as I can.)
•Not getting a like back when they send a like.
When did this become an expectation?
If I don’t like what I see and read, I’m not going to ‘like’ you.
In the real world where we interact as real people and have verbal conversations if we don’t like each other, we won’t exchange phone numbers,
email all social media platform
deets and that would be the end of it but because it’s online and written suddenly it’s an expectation?
No not at all! 
•Sending numerous messages, back-and-forth and not hearing from them again.
I have been guilty of this. I have been interested in getting to know this person and started messaging to then drop off on my part because I have been away. I have been blocked a few times because of this and that’s okay.
•Not asking anything meaningful?
Sending me a message that says any of these-
- “Hey”
- “Let’s f***”
- “Do you really squirt?”
- “I can make you squirt like you never have” (I would be rich if I had $1 for each time that has been said / talked up.)
- “I want to f*** your arse so hard and fist your 🐈⬛”
Ummm.. I would think that many would probably not respond to the above when received as the opening or only sentence.
In sending them to me, that’s an immediate blocking. 
And upon saying that, if you are someone reading this, and the above is appropriate for you, that is perfectly fine.

• Validations-  being validated on your profile is only a confirmation that you are who you say you are.
Nothing more should be expected from that.
• Validations written stating how great you are in bed, how well hung you are, or they gave you the best deep throat ever are all deterrents to me.
Feeling the need to have this on your profile is similar in asking a friend to provide you with a reference on your CV.
Let’s face it,
Are you really going to publish a validation that speaks bad of you?
You wouldn’t write a friend down as a reference on your CV, if you knew it was going to be bad.
•The need for number gain on validations is a red flag for me.
I see nothing wrong with being sexually active and having lots of it, but it does make me wonder if you are having safe sex each and every time, particularly if your profile states that you are?
I have a massive appetite, however I am not going to be blasé. 
I respect my body and the amount of STDs out there combined with a lack of people. that don’t care make me think twice. 
You do the math! 
It will definitely make you re - think and potentially change your way of choosing people to meet. 
•Showing their private albums?
 If you choose to show your private gallery, that is your choice. It is not a given to be reciprocated.
The other pressing matter is when people choose to show their private galleries, if you have listed on your profile that you practise safe sex, but your pictures show different, you sure as hell are coming nowhere near me. 
•Open Book - code for lazy
• “Ask me” on your profile instead of having adult answers.
The lack of effort is complete stupidity.
We are all here basically, for the same thing or similar.
We are visual creatures, with our picture and profile making the first impression.
If you can’t be bothered, why would someone be interested?
I make this statement as a general consensus for what I believe would be a majority.
There would quite possibly be a minority that are fine with this and it works well in whatever way to fulfil their needs.
@Ex007 my findings are of such!!
Humans are indeed interesting, but also hard work!
Our standards are so different.
Our acceptance and expectation levels are so different. 
Our ethics and morals are so different.
Our wants and needs are so different.
Our boundaries so different.
And what we perceive to see as right and wrong very different.
But hey, that’s what makes each of us unique!!
If we are lucky enough, we are able to find those that match many of the same characteristics as we have, and then again, there are those that simply never will and that is perfectly okay.
I once heard a saying and for many years I have thought, the harder it is to understand humans:
“ I know why Noah only took animals on the ark”
Pierre_Brun
a year ago
None of this happens to me, I have not had any interaction with anyone on here yet.
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