Incredible Swining and Open Couples - How Did You Get Here?

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  teamaj2

  5 years ago

  Miss Oliver , as always an articulate , warm and interesting post . Our story of exploration and love spans 15 years . Honesty , respect , trust , wanting to make the one dearest to your heart happy without compromising ones own wants and needs, communication and having each other’s back no matter what are the key for us . This led us to meeting someone from online and attending our first event . I knew from the day I met Mr J his wish list . It took ten years to see it brought to fruition . I wanted to experience FF interaction . Both our wish lists take nothing away from the love, respect and bond we have for each other . For us and everyone is different, all experiences we have , we have together . They bring us even closer together , with wonderful warm sexy memories to cherish always . For us , time was the key factor in dipping our toes in the sexy waters of exploring . We knew after 10 years we wanted to see each other happy without fear it would effect our relationship.We have no regrets . We both gained even more trust in each other and our relationship. I definitely gained confidence from attending events , leading to co hosting a monthly event and it’s been lots of fun . I hope that the future brings you all that you seek . Ax

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  RHP User

  5 years ago

  Oh wow 🤩 We were talking of this very thing. I could never be that person that could live this life just for an ulterior motive (to fuck other ppl). My Mr makes me the vixen I am. It’s a no from me if the chase isn’t there. He adores and desires me to the point (he feels) he wants to share me. I won’t say yes to anyone, and it’s not looks etc, but if your strong, respectful and confident you’ll have me chasing you and my husband can almost predict every move he/she makes as he has learnt about every pore on my body 🤤

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  ElectricDreamers

  5 years ago

  Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of the catalyst for us - I (Mrs) kissed an American guy at a conference in Europe. He was a serial cheater, we'd talked a lot, he made it clear his life as a cheater was miserable and he didn't want to bring me into that world/existence and so we left it at kissing... A couple of months later he was billed to come speak at an Australian conference I was headed to. I told my husband about the kiss and outright asked if I could have his permission to sleep with him. Husband said no, but this opened investigation for us - as this other guy had sparked something in me and I had read a bit about swinging and suggested we try it. Husband was intrigued. He gave me 5 Golden Tickets - 5 stabs at swinging and if we both didn't like it after that we'd close the door on it. 5 was a good number to work out it's a bumpy ride at first but we came through the otherside both liking the change in our dynamic.

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  2EssesExploring

  5 years ago

  Great topic MissOliver! Me: adventurer, explorer, open to positive experiences and never understood jealousy. I love to love people whether they are lovers, friends or colleagues. She: brought up in a very catholic society where sex is for marriage or dirty girls so remained a virgin for nearly 3 decades. We: collided in words and conversations about everything and anything. We fell in love with each other’s minds well before it got physical. We leaped off a high cliff together into each other. We are chalk and cheese but we just get each other. Trust and openness allowed her to express long hidden desires for the same sex. I supported her to make a reality. Other men scared her initially but over time she felt safe to explore and discover they could be enjoyed. She is inherently a huge green eyed monster but somehow the enjoyment she gets watching me with another woman quells the monster and it’s the most erotic thing for her. My openness challenged to release ownership of her virginity and allow her to explore the pleasure others could provide. I have explored with other partners but never has it felt so safe and normal. I don’t completely understand why but I feel we are so deeply connected on all levels that sexual exclusivity just isn’t a big deal. My other relationships I think were based more so on sexual attraction and exploring with others became too much a part of what we had. Now it is a part we both adore and yearn for but it’s less an obsession and just a really lovely way to interact with each other and other humans.

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  RHP User

  5 years ago

  So beautiful. My god. What an amazing journey you’ve shared. This is what amazes me the most. That sharing actually brings couples closer together. It takes such a huge amount of emotional intelligence to achieve such a positive and supportive union.

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  SpicyKale

  5 years ago

  Oh, wow, where to start with this one! We'd been married ten years before we had that chat. It took me (mr) an awful long time and a decent therapist to come to terms with my sexuality. For a long time I'd blamed my bisexuality on some pretty horrid things I'd experienced when I was a lot younger. Without going into a lot of detail, I'd blamed a part of me that no one else really knew about for me being attacked. The human mind is a funny place and as a result I didn't want to let anyone else, even my wife see that side of me. Considering how supportive she is of the lgbt community, gay ex's that came to our wedding, damn, even the first pic we have of the two of us was taken at Adealide Feast (Pride) Festival, I couldn't raise the topic! So, here's to supportive awesome partners and decent mental health care! Anyway, just before our tenth wedding anniversary I finally got the strength to be able to have a frank and honest chat about it all. I can thank me breaking her rabbit vibrator on getting to that conversation! Our communication skills weren't always the best, neither of us like confrontation, but once we started talking I think it was 3am before we hit the sack. It took both of us to work out we were interested in the kink scene and that we needed an extra pair of hands to explore what we were interested in to start investigating this lifestyle. Interestingly five years later and we haven't really got back to the BDSM exploration, so must get that back on the list! Anyway, I like to over research anything I get involved in and had just started listening to podcasts. At that stage if you put bisexual and bdsm into the Apple podcast app you came back with "Life on the Swingset" and "By the Bi" both are swingers podcasts and that's how we ended up here! Lots of new found communication skills, lots of podcasts and some awesome new friends. I don't know if we would have ventured down this path if we hadn't stumbled on Bradford and Angela's By the Bi pod, they're both wonderful humans that we owe an awful lot to. All of that and our love for nude beaches helped us get into the lifestyle. I can't say enough about nude beaches to get the confidence up for being naked in front of strangers! We don't play often, as we mention in or profile, more of a monogamish marriage than hardened swingers! The improvement in our communication skills has been the biggest flow on to our vanilla life and I'm sure we're not the only ones in that boat. If you can talk through this shit successfully as a couple, you can work through anything. You don't need to be at this every week to be successful either, sometimes just knowing you both can is enough! How many couples in the real world can sit at a cafe and talk about how they think the waiters cock would taste! We're all bloody lucky on here if we have supportive, amazing, understanding partners to explore this life with

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  MsSuperFoxy

  5 years ago

  Great Topic!! I loved reading these raw posts. Thank you for sharing Taking Notes. 📝📝📝 🗂 Ms Foxy

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  blix_and_queen

  5 years ago

  Love seeing the strength and trust it has built in most of us. Yes it has it's challenges, but who doesn't want to see their partner happy and fulfilled. We get such pleasure out of seeing each other open, honest, and exploring life together.

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  JohnAnn2227

  5 years ago

  Thanks to everyone so far for sharing their journeys. Our journey began in our early 20s and it was unplanned. We had gone camping to Sussex Inlet with friends and we were sharing a tent. We had been to the RSL for dinner/ drinks and had come back pretty drunk. The boys talked us into playing strip poker and after a few hands we were naked. We ended up playing with our own partners and touching happened between the four of us. It was the first time I had kissed another girl and I loved it. We ended up swapping partners and having a great night. The next morning (now sober) we all talked about what had happened. We all agreed that we enjoyed it and there was no jealousy. They told us that they had been swinging for a year. After this we began regularly playing together. I discovered that I was bisexual. After about a year of playing with Andrew and Nicole we went for the first time with them to Couples Club when it was on South Dowling Street. Wow! What an eye opener that was. We ended up in the group room sharing with 6 other couples. By the end of the night I had shagged 4 different guys! We advertised in Rosie magazine and met friends through that. We also began going to River Island Nature Retreat at Mittagong with friends for nude weekends away. This just kept going until we decided to open our marriage to having dates with others. I was free to meet guys on nights out and John would do the same. I dated one guy for about 9 months until he told me he loved me. We decided to have kids and that put our swinging to rest for a couple of years. When we started back swinging we met some beautiful couples who were already playing as a group. They welcomed us into their circle and quickly became close friends. We played together but also had plutonic friendships. When I fell pregnant with our son we kept swinging until I was 6 months and it became too uncomfortable. We were so comfortable together that it seemed natural to keep playing together. We have been swinging now for over 20 years and love the lifestyle. In our close group of friends we no longer use condoms as all of the hubbies have had vasectomies and we all agree not to play with others unprotected. This trust and openness makes it all more special. Our families know our friends and get on really well with them. They think we met through work/gym/ other friends etc. We holiday together and are "uncle and aunty" to each others children. For birthdays we celebrate with special parties. My last 3 birthdays have been gangbangs with the 6 hubbies giving me a special treat. Each of the girls also gets birthday treats. We have been to Hedonism 2 in Jamaica with friends and loved playing with other there. Our dream is to go to Cap D'Adge in France which is the ultimate nudist/swinger city. Swinging is the best thing to have happened to our relationship. It has kept our marriage exciting and our love deeper. We would never recommend swinging to couples who are jealous or are trying to fix their relationship. It adds to our relationship.

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  RHP User

  5 years ago

  For us we met online after we had both been swinging as singles. We just clicked immediately. It was natural for us to be a couple swinging. Both of us had been in long monogamous marriages before we set out as singles. Interesting for her, she had met couples but often the female was not an active participant. He met others through bi women he was dating at the time. For both of us it was amazing to experience such open sensual and sexual encounters. We find couples who swing to have a strong connection and trust. As a couple we have found it a bit challenging to first weed out the real people and then to find a personal connection.We now have a discreet private set of friends we get on so well with and enjoy their company.

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  RHP User

  5 years ago

  It was mismatched libido which started my journey into the horny world I now inhabit. Wifey's libido died a slow death. we dealt with it with a certain degree of difficulty. That's all been shared on the Pie over the years, many have shared their opinions about that with me and a few have been welcomed. Enough said. Miss O I thought I might share some of my experiences in the "open world". Everybody knows that the men outnumber the women in this cyber world, significantly. Eventually I found someone who wanted to get laid to, well she found me and we met up a few times for a good time. In many ways Ms L was the most respectful of my marriage but we didn't really click as people, the sex was pretty good. Not long after that I asked Mrs Farmer if she wanted to chat, she did. It turned out she wasn't from Perth WA 6000 but from about 400K's away, and she had a jealous hubby because her daughter dobbed her in after a previous affair. We only got together once, mores the pity. Now my memory is starting to fade there was a divorcee who hadn't been with a man in yonks, she didn't want an FWB she wanted to lure me away from Wifey by devious means, game over. The next had the same intentions but she wasted little time in demanding that I left Wifey, her or me she said, game over. Then there was Ms Capetown, we got together a few times at a hotel, I liked her the sex was fantastic, then she drifted away. I found out later she got cancer. The next woman to find me, yep that the trend, was good too but then she started telling me how much she loved, that was awkward and it didn't last. Fast forward to just recently and I joined up Bumble, of course she, Ms B, found me, that's how it works there. So there you go a bit of a resume of my sex life in the open world.

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  him_and_me

  5 years ago

  We were married for 15 or so years, and at this point,I'd been the only lover my wife had ever had. I'd fantasized at seeing her with someone else, and we'd occasionally talk about that during sex. Then she was due to take a trip to New York for a couple of weeks, and I'd suggested to her before leaving that if she met someone there, and the opportunity arose for sex, she should take it. She did go, she and a girlfriend did find a couple of guys in a bar, and she had some great sex! That was both hugely arousing for me, and incredibly devestating too as I lost all self confidence and wondered if she would start wanting more than just what I had to offer. I went to visit a sex counselor, and recounted our journey thus far. She was the one who suggested RHP. We got involved, went to meet and greets, had private dates, went to parties and clubs, played separately multiple times and really did have a great time. Ultimately, I think it works for people if you can trust your partner and also trust the person you're partner is seeing too. My wife is my best mate, and we have no secrets from each other at all. I love seeing her happy, and her happiness can be incredibly arousing when you see it arise from blissful arousal of a safe and pleasurable sexual experience with someone else. You also have to ba able to communicate and talk things through. Not all of our experiences were purely happy ones. It can be confronting and confusing at times, but as long as you keep talking through it, and ensure that your own relationship is the main thing...then it is a really great thing. Having said that, we haven't done anything for a few years now, but I still like to come here and browse every once in a while. Have fun, Him

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