M46 F51
If you are in a exclusive relationship is it ok ....
February 05 2025
Just wondering what everyone's thoughts are please -and sorry I should have included the sex in our bedroom is amazing - Thank you for reading ....
Comments
Andrea_Sydney
2 months ago
My alarm bells always ring when someone says “the relationship is great apart from…”. What you are talking about is wilful dishonesty.
In my opinion, once one of the partners shows this personality trait, there is nothing you can gain from there. You would always know that you can’t ever ask him anything (about anything), because he’s happy to lie and conceal.
So in actual effect that sentence would need to be changed into “the relationship is not good”
How you are describing it, the very quick moving in, the feeling of needing to be around each other all the time, the great sex… I suggest this is more of an intense erotic fling. One that doesn’t have honesty and trust at its basis.
I will be harsh and say you can ride this out for another
couple of years of hope to turn the passion into a lasting relationship and of “teaching” him honesty and trustworthiness (which either someone is or they don’t) or you can get out sooner. Or downgrade your take on what it is that you have.
I’m always one to cheer on any relationship as I feel people separate too soon and for too petty reasons. But a person who lies, conceals said and deceives does not provide any future for you.
I say continue to enjoy the sexual passion for a bit and mentally prepare for this thing to end in some sort of painful discovery that he lied about prior.
All the best to you hun xxRHP User
2 months ago
You have caught him on dating apps trying to communicate with other women. You have asked him if he wants an open relationship. He doesn't, he wants to have his cake and eat it, but you get no share of the cake. You still have your respect, go and find someone who won't go squirreling behind your back thinking he's some sort of Lothario. Good sex doth not a great relationship make, or so it goes. How would he feel if you were on sites talking to guys? You deserve better x
Thesunlovingsub
2 months ago
If he is a) being dishonest to you b) deliberately leading on other women to stroke his ego and c) not willing to give you the same opportunity to explore other connections… that’s a pretty worrying pattern of behaviour.
When he says you drive him there…what does this mean to you? From the info you’ve shared it sounds like he’s blaming you for his behaviour? That’s absolutely not ok. He’s a grown man and if he has issues with what you offer he should be telling you in an honest and compassionate conversation.
It sounds like there may also be an unhealthy level of codependency if you can’t bear to be apart, but i got a bit confused when you said you reminded him you’re done?
There’s no judgement on you in my comments, but it sounds like he’s treating you quite poorly and I don’t want that for any woman.
So the short answer is no, it’s absolutely not ok to dishonestly use dating apps when you’re in a committed monogamous relationship.
Cut your losses and go get that amazing sex from someone who values you enough to give you the open communication and respect you deserve.
nightingale8
2 months ago
The biggest red flag is him saying you drive him there. Everyone has faults but when he makes you accountable for his own that’s a bad preview for what’s to come. Keep on walking!
NatSquared
2 months ago
Trust and communication are the cornerstones of any good relationship, he appears to be deliberately breaking both. He might say nothing will come of his flirting, but if a gorgeous woman invites him back to her place and he has the free time do you really think he wouldn't rail her then and there? Another point, how would he feel if you were to go on dating apps to chat up guys, or get other men's numbers at a bar? You would never act on it of course, it's just harmless flirting ;) Leading people on in and of itself is pretty shitty of him to do, and all of this speaks volumes as to what sort of person he is.
There's nothing wrong with being interested in other people, but if he's going to lie, go behind your back and hide things from you, then that isn't a relationship... it's a bad joke.
MsSuperFoxy
2 months ago
Get out of here! You drive him there? What sort of piss poor excuse is that. He's gaslighting you.
Ms Foxy
FeistyFatty
2 months ago
That's not a "great relationship" at all, sorry..... Especially when you're so fresh/new in the relationship (only 15 Months) and he's behaving this way 🚩🚩🚩
manincairns80
2 months ago
As a bloke that has ALWAYS remained faithful and honest with exclusive partners, my advice is RUN and don't look back. The 'you drive him there' comment is a major red flag - he's not owning his behaviour which means it will probably escalate.
boobsandbusted
2 months ago
I’m not sure why but I’ve read this 5 times now and it always comes out in a man’s voice not a women’s voice in my head ,intersting
Mr b
seekandplay
2 months ago
Find great sex elsewhere. Red flags everywhere unfortunately. He is not your person.
CockRobin
2 months ago
Funny ho you found a dating site to lodge your query, or is this the one you foud him on ?? just asking
EarthQueen
2 months ago
Do you like being with a liar who gaslights you and deliberately admits to manipulating you and other women? How many more red flags do you need? Don't mix up co-dependency with love. You have to take responsibility in staying with someone like this and work out why this is the kind of relationship you accept.
teamaj2
2 months ago
I too had to re read this post a few times .
I understand after 13 years alone , you now found ‘the one ‘ that wants to be with you supposedly 24/7 .
We ALL deserve relationships that are transparent. We all deserve respect , honestly and someone that has our best interests at heart . Sadly , I fear this is lacking and there appears to be deceit and gas lighting , neither of which you deserve . Both are never okay .
Nobody , leads someone to go onto a website and flirt and be unfaithful ( it’s not okay to flirt without a partners consent ) .
It is not okay ( in any circumstance) to create a profile without your partners consent . Huge red flags .
I understand you work and live together and it’s difficult to perhaps leave . Please do yourself a favour and call it a day . No one deserves this .
Good luck . A x
Liz1487
2 months ago
He sounds like a patriarchal trope. I think I’ve met him- and the hundreds like him - on RHP. Yawn. I would exit now. There are men in the world with far greater ethics than this twit.
supern0va
a month ago
Oh the sex is ok, don't worry about it then. You're good.
Us4you
a month ago
Personally I think this is all written by a guy , the way it’s worded and all , on an actual dating site by someone that has a profile , a little bit ironic don’t you think considering you say you are exclusive then there would be no need for profiles on dating sites, just my opinion anyway
supern0va
a month ago
You know the answer, there's no point in seeking validation from others.
Mac4Ks
a month ago
I think there’s more to this
Vlove
a month ago
Great topic, the point it that sex is amazing... and "we" forgive people we love. Yes, there is a red flag "you drive me there". Wasnt it hard for you to end it? PS. I was or I'm? in 15months relationship, she was exlusive, untill she told me I want to try something else. I should ended and "respect myself" or let anyone to do whatever they want. I dont have an answer.
Cheekysmile2025
a month ago
Hmmmm what are you doing on here if you have been in a relationship… this is an app? Double standards much
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