F56
If a woman asks you out
June 07 2011
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
If she asks me out I would offer to pay, I would accept 50/50 but I would not feel right about letting her pay. Call me old fashioned, probably, but that's just the way I am. I would like to think that we had enjoyed the night and I would not feel obligated to put out, as you put it. To me that is the way the woman thinks. Again old fashioned ideas from me, but that is just the way I am. If the chemistry was there then nonone is going to feel like they have to put out, rather they will be only too willing to participate. If only more women would make the first move and ask a bloke out. Oh life would be so much easier.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I'd pay, or at least attempt to, and would allow myself to be haggled down to fifty fifty if it seemed important to her. I'd certainly feel obliged to put out though, if by "obliged" you mean "gagging to"...... of course, that's all based on the assumption that it was you who asked me out Meeka!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Depends on the situation and what I was invited out to do...could be something as simple as coming over for dinner and I would offer to bring something, always a bottle of something good and maybe even help in the kitchen. That can be a lot of fun...and turning up the heat before the meal is ready is always one of the best parts of the meal. | Now if I was asked out to dinner or even better, a nice luxury hotel with room service...I would by class, culture and upbringing expect or offer to pick up the tab. Of course if she absolutely insisted...that is I guess part of the new genre' of women and would accept graciously. | Now let's take it to the limit and I was asked out, the bill was picked up by her and the question is there as to whether or not I would feel compelled to "put out"...the real answer is no, not any more or less than I would expect that in the opposite. Now the other real answer is that being a mere mortal male and assuming I would not go out with anyone I didn't like anyway.... | ...for anything you like, there is MasterCard. | | That does not make me a slut...I am a tart and proud of it.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Oh Meeka.......you are so cheeky. Boys, If a woman has asked you out, maybe on a date or just a night out, do you expect her to pay and would you feel obliged to put out at the end of the night? And boys, if you do put out I'm sure she will still respect you in the morning. hahahah
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RHP User
15 years ago
Of course ticklish, I will respect them in the morning .... oh by the way I'll call you. xxMeeks
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RHP User
15 years ago
How funny when it's turned around. Orbitron....I dont have a problem asking a guy out and have always been that way since my late teens. It's really not scary, cause it's rare that you get a NO.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I would love for a woman to ask me out. And I would surely put out, especially if she bought me dinner...and held the door for me. Good manners go along way...
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RHP User
15 years ago
I won't cum in your mouth... | Quoting 'Meeka100'Of course ticklish, I will respect them in the morning .... | And I will respect you then just as much as I do right now. | I really will mail you a cheque for my half of the hotel bill, I didn't bring any cash... | ...and left my charge cards in my other wallet. | | And don't call me, thanks...just wait by the phone and I will call you. Promise.
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RHP User
15 years ago
even 'if' she asked me out, I'd pay. theres no argument or discussion to be had..., and its not a 'trade'......so the 'putting out' is not an obligation..........
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RHP User
15 years ago
I'd expect to go dutch and definatley wouldn't expect her to put out on the first date....although I wouldn't say no if she did ;-)
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RHP User
15 years ago
i wouldnt expect anything however i have heard plenty of women say If a guy asks them out for dinner they should pay. Now i am used to paying but i have to say if the woman offered i would be impressed but most likely pay anyway
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RHP User
15 years ago
Depends, If I asked I guy out (which I never do) I would want his company more than anything. If it's a coffee, yes he can pay geezus, meet and greet, yes I will let him pay for that coffee for me. A meal and drinks normally eachother contributes. It's nice when the man insists on paying although I like to pay for the drinks (at least). Later on it might be a win win situation. xxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
So what are you boys saying? You will pay for dinner and ....err.. rock me to sleep, if I, ASK YOU out on a date? WOW so I could save some massive food bills here if I was clever. lol. It's strange but I don't really feel comfortable with letting a man pay for me, I'd rather pay my own way. Well unless it's a drink or something small. Although I always offer to buy the next round but it seems that some men are just not comfortable with a woman paying for them. xxMeeks
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RHP User
15 years ago
Darkhorse, so you are gagging for it are you? Very interesting, so what would you do for it? xxMeeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'brazenhussy' ...... Lady in the streets, bad girl in the sheets? Hi again special lady, hehehe and a bad girl you are mmmmmmmm ... have missed you :) cuddles to you and yours xoxMeeka, I apologise for the slight sidestep of your post to get in a hello to an old friend. ChasingMidnight.... always the lovely gentleman
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RHP User
15 years ago
Oh you must be talking about the ones that say please... | Quoting 'HotSexyChilli' ..and a complete animal once I've given the green light | ...then after they have wined and dined you over a very private board room lunch try to navigate past the receptionist and say "Thank you for coming" without blowing a gasket and laughing until you make it to the elevator. | Dutch treat huh? Kind of sounds like something you would do with warm and gooey melted dark chocolate from Holland and a woman that could hold still long enough to let you write in longhand? | You don't happen to know any...do you?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Although I always offer to buy the next round but it seems that some men are just not comfortable with a woman paying for them. I think there's plenty i that. It's uncomfortable.... not only for women to pay.. but for anyone else with the possible exception of your boss to pay. That's when you have a boss. I laugh when I go to Yum Cha at all the fuss made over paying the bill... some tables of people litterally wrestle with the waiters to hand over the money before the other person.. but I think mostly that's for show... the head of the table seems to always pay eventually... maybe the wrestling is to work out who the head of the table is.... and the fake wrestling is just to make the head of the table feel important. That's probably a cultural thing. When I had a lawyer representing me for something... I made sure that they paid... I mean.. they'd get the money out of me anyway and I was already paying them to sit there and sip coffee... so fukem.HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Interesting point Stalky. So what, does that automatically make the person paying the more dominant one? Is that why men don't like women to pay? I do find it strange that if I asked a man out he would still feel that he needs to pay for the two of us. Doesn't feel right to me... so therefore that means I can't ask any men out. :( Wonder if it Is it the same for generation Y boys. xx Meeks
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RHP User
15 years ago
Like BlackStilettoes says "they never do". When it happens to me then I would gladly pay so perhaps they might ask me again.
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RHP User
15 years ago
The true gentleman always pays, not because he hopes you will feel obligated to put out - the vert notion is abhorrent to the gentleman. No, it is because it is the gentlemanly thing to do, and thus his lady friend will know he is a gentleman... and thus more likely to put out ;-)
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RHP User
15 years ago
BustyJen, did CM pay you to say that? xx Meeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hey Syd, I see it is both our birthdays this month... wanna go out? lol. xx Meeks
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RHP User
15 years ago
I didn't say dominant did I? I mean it is usually the matriach or her husband that pays at Yum Cha. My own children are quite slow to pull out the wallet too. lolz It's not strange at all. It's the manly thing to do... don;t you know? as Sydneyboy suggests gentlemen usually like to be gentlemen.Your birthday this month? So who.. ummm I mean.. what is on the menu?HUgsStalky Quoting 'Meeka100' Interesting point Stalky. So what, does that automatically make the person paying the more dominant one? Is that why men don't like women to pay? I do find it strange that if I asked a man out he would still feel that he needs to pay for the two of us. Doesn't feel right to me... so therefore that means I can't ask any men out. :( Wonder if it Is it the same for generation Y boys. xx Meeks
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RHP User
15 years ago
My birthday is on Sunday... and I don't have any naughty plans. The Yum Cha idea does sound good... a little bit of everything. Although a banquet would be more to my liking... let me see. Stalky and Sydneyboy laid out with lots of cream and nutella smeared all over them. Yum, I would have to take my time licking and sucking that all off. :P Think you can arrange that for me? xx Meeks
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Interesting point Stalky. So what, does that automatically make the person paying the more dominant one? Is that why men don't like women to pay? I do find it strange that if I asked a man out he would still feel that he needs to pay for the two of us. Doesn't feel right to me... so therefore that means I can't ask any men out. :( Wonder if it Is it the same for generation Y boys. xx Meeks I don't want a 'new special or potential friend' to pay for me, unless there was reasoning for it and established up front, as I do not want ANY chance for ambiguity, as I know guys who ‘buy’ affection and attention so to speak. I have this upfront thing of NOT wanting someone to show dominance over me, I am all about equal partnership in every way to start with... even just new friends too. After some time if i then feel completely respected by someone, I would happily let them pay, or me, I wouldn’t want to waste time thinking about it really for a night out. It may sounds a little OTT, but I think there could be undertones if you don’t know someone well and it is your first few times out 2gether. I'd like to go 50/50 all the way until I really knew them, as I prefer to keep the boundaries clear. If i don't know someone well, then them paying could mean to them that i may 'owe' them something? I don't know till I know type thing? Once i know someone, i honestly couldn't give a toss who pays, in all my relationships, all friends, we tend to just throw our money up if we get there first. With good friends it always balances in the end i find, I hate to be pedantic about money in social situations, i think it is really ugly... when i was at uni and worked in a cafe/bar, this bloody group of Amway people would come in TOO late on a tues (tight arse Tues for them every Tues), they'd rearrange ALL the chairs and tables and ALL of em would only order a coffee, or something minimal. Not at all worth the extra time we stayed open for them... There was always at least 20, and each and every one of them would be ruthless about only paying for their own even thou we had no separate billing, but they'd be dammed if they were 5 cents short!! foul, i like to forget the money exists and just commit to the night decided on, even if it is extravagant, we all spend our money one way or another, why let it interfere with our social fun times? And in fact it feels really good to treat someone sometimes :) and of course be treated at times too, with no expectations :) And some situations are perfect to actually be the treator or the treatee, depending what the night was all about. I was sometimes home alone so to speak as my partner at the time worked away a lot and my closest friend and her hubby would have me over each time and as it was midweek and drinking and talking were our focus, it was always take-away and they'd never let me pay, it was i guess them saying i wasn't a burden due to being 'lonely' and that they infact enjoyed my company awww I love good friends... Oh i hate talking about money, it is a really evil thing in this world.... I'd like to maybe change the terminology to 'gestures' (instead of who's paying, who is willingly wants to put effort in as they want to make someone happy or smile or just beacuse), I mean if somebody put a lot of thought and time into a romantic/fun time out, it is always going to trump the cliche pay lotsa bucks to have everything done for you... My most treasured memories and gifts are the personal touch ones, things that aren't just the trend of the time bought off the shelve (product/service) so to speak, but tailored to a 'special person'... a gift or a time out that would not mean a lot for someone else, as it is all about the person it was tailored for :) I may have had too much wine and really be missing my BFF who is in Sweden (oh and someone in my life who is just for me.... was hopeful last week and crushed this week....boo hoo blerr where is my dominance now?!)
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Hey Syd, I see it is both our birthdays this month... wanna go out? lol. xx Meeks I take the birthday boy and girl out instead? I love birthday parties!! We could paint Sydney town red!! (I wish Perth wasn't so bloody FAR AWAY!!!!) We could start the night with lots of tequila.... My first few 3somes always had that in common, the once a blue moon dive into tequila, must be something in those worms...
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have asked a few guys out and get rather annoyed if they offer to pay - I have asked the gentleman out - thus I always thought it was implied that it was my treat - same as if a guy asks me out....the only difference to me is the first meet - to me thats ducth...50/50...this meeting is everyone involved checking each other out...though I have met some guys who insist on paying even then....hmmm I owe a few boys a drink or two...you know who you are - my treat next time you are in town . Meeka my feeling is that if you invite someone out you should be prepared to pay for it....women keep complaining that they arent treated equally in society yet we should always expect the man to pay???? Doesnt seem right to me. . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
why do so many people fear that a guy has 'alternate' or 'sinister' motives when they offer or even demand they pay for both? I honestly believe that its the 'right' thing to do, as thanks, and as appreciation for the effort that so many women put into not only their appearance, but also into all the background stuff that no body really speaks about .......... Guys take about 20 minutes to get ready.......shower, shave, dress, cologne, everything........women can take much much longer......hair, makeup.deciding between 3 different outfits and 7 pairs of shoes (not forgetting accessories)...........and..... in oh so many cases,arranging children.......wash, feed, deliver to or arrange a sitter etc etc etc....... and while they are doing all of this, the guys watchn a bit of footy...or the news.... havn a quick stubbie or two...calling the TAB.......or just fondling the old fella and daydreaming.......so yea, without appearing as 'old-fashioned' or overly 'polite' I really do feel men would get a far better deal if they'd just treat a date as the compliment it really is, and that women would be better appreciated if they'd allow us to show that we can be thoughtful and that we can treat them as potentially valuable additions to our lives, but without objectifying them or sexualizing the 'date' long before it gets to that point................ long winded I know, and not even sure it says what i was feeling........ but.....
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RHP User
15 years ago
Good move on making the lawyer pay Stalky. I took my lawyer to lunch once, and paid. Then got the bill for $375 for the hour the following week. But boy did he put out!And Meeks, that's a broad question... you're going to have to narrow it down to a few examples, or maybe a multiple choice.But there probably won't be many "no"s....
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RHP User
14 years ago
50/50 to be honest
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