I have tried and failed miserably. I think it’s time to accept the harsh reality…

January 10 2025

It’s been over a year since I joined several online hookup apps and sites and in that time have received 100% of ZERO interest!

Comments

  • GiverAndPleaser

    GiverAndPleaser

    a month ago

    Could someone with more knowledge and experience than me give a little insight into what I’m doing wrong? Or should I just accept the only obvious reason for the lack of interest and get on with my life and stop wasting time? Somethings got to give because it’s actually starting to mess with my confidence and self esteem…

  • GiverAndPleaser

    GiverAndPleaser

    a month ago

    I have politely contacted multiple RHP members over the past year and all I have ever heard back is the sound of crickets! The same thing has happened across 4 other sites too so when I constantly see dudes that have multiple glowing validations my ego disappears just that little more with every visit to my empty inbox or “who’s viewed me” tab…

  • Cumberlander

    Cumberlander

    a month ago

    It's been said on this site several times over, there's maybe 5-10% of guys who get all the action on this site. Having said that, I have just checked your profile and I have no idea why you're getting zero response. You seem like a nice guy and you're certainly decent looking. It's a mystery mate.
    All I can suggest is that maybe you should consider lowering your standards. Perhaps the type of women that you're attracted to aren't attracted to you.
    I've spent the better part of three months talking to myself on this site. I thought it's because I'm married, but it seems like the average single bloke gets no joy out of these sites either.

    Anyway mate, good luck going forward.

  • Primal_Curiosity

    Primal_Curiosity

    a month ago

    The danger with places like this is they can take away from your self-worth if you pay it too much attention.

    I catch myself at times feeling like my value is directly annexed to my interactions when looking for playmates. Not healthy. Not right. Not real.

    So I step back and pull away, look for the identity I give myself and put more into self-improvement activities to rebalance the bias.

    This can get you down but realise this is about 1% at max of what makes you who you are and what your value to others can be.

    Online is a shitfight and real life still throws up opportunities if you can be slightly social.

    I’ll also add this - the dudes you see with loads of validations on here…most of them are having shit sex with women who are happy with shit sex. Take consolation from that fact if you know you have standards around how you engage a potential lover.

  • NatSquared

    NatSquared

    a month ago

    Your profile looks alright, it might intimidate new or more nervous people but some people like that vibe, although you might want to reconsider advertising yourself as divorced. Your Looking For says you're interested in women, groups, and FF couples, that's a very small super high demand pool. As you know there are countless single men for every lady, and some aren't even looking for single men to begin with. They can afford to be super selective.

    Have you participated in many events? Unless you're an absolute stand out your best shot is to meet people in-person and charm them, and even then it's a slow game, often requiring you to get to know people over multiple events.

  • teamaj2

    teamaj2

    a month ago

    Hi there
    I can only assume it’s much the same for many many single men on this and other sites . Couples and single women are spoilt for choice .
    Maybe ??? Your location , not being near a capital city , makes people shy away .
    I think you have a good profile , nice pictures and I see no reason why success is alluding you .
    Goodluck out there . May 2025 see great fun times and exploration . Ax

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    a month ago

    I just checked you out and you shouldn't lose any self esteem. One thing I know is that women are difficult creatures and they constantly need attention and really can be too much.. ive heard too many times.. you should attend some parties and I'm alone tmw night.. you could join me?.

  • GiverAndPleaser

    GiverAndPleaser

    a month ago

    Naaaaw, thanks so much for the ego boost guys and gals, much appreciated! I’m sorry I brought that negativity and self doubt into the forum, I had a pretty shitty day which resulted in a rare moment of emotional regurgitation. It is so nice to see though, a community that cares about the feelings of others and pulls together to help ease concerns and give some much needed rational guidance.

    This is not a normal occurrence and it’s very rare for something like this to mess with my equilibrium and bring about irrational insecurities. There are a couple of other unwelcome factors that I guess are also contributing so I think I will do as Primal_Curiosity said and pull away for a bit, regroup and give myself a hug. Going for a couple of drinks and a game of pool tonight so that should help.

    Thanks again to everyone, I’m super grateful for all your comments. x

  • Melbcouple28

    Melbcouple28

    a month ago

    Your profile is great. Your photos are great. Your location may be an issue. If you are open to travel to meet people, especially regularly, then perhaps state that in your profile. Those looking for a long term arrangement would be reluctant to start something unless they know you will travel or unless of course they are willing to.

  • seekandplay

    seekandplay

    a month ago

    I’m well connected with people down your way, and they are always coming to Melbourne because there just isn’t much happening where you are. Do you attend parties or venues where you can experience everything you’ve written in your profile? Or, get yourself vetted for swinger parties as a single male. There is a new swingers club opening in Geelong soon, that might work for you. It’s called Secret Garden Society. Find them on Instagram.

    Also, RHP isn’t the only place for this crazy fun world of non monogamy - have you tried mixers to meet other likeminded people? NSFW Events have them on frequently with cocktails and music for people in the scene to mingle. There are also events like Purr, Krave, Saints & Sinners….. so much for you to try, based on your wording in your profile.

    Good luck!

  • nightingale8

    nightingale8

    a month ago

    All round debauchery at parties, in groups etc probably represents a small number of the small number of single women on here (relative to men).

    The other thing is that online is a poor indication of who people are in real life, and that’s excluding all the catfishes. It’s just the nature of the beast. That’s my experience anyway.

    I write to different people at different times depending on my mood. They’re not always the best looking people or have the most charming profiles. So in general what helps my decision is I formation about who the person is rather than what they want.

  • Ex007

    Ex007

    a month ago

    Open and honest advice regarding your profile. This advice is not in any way a reflection of your character, as I do not know you.

    Its important to remember women are feeling beings and respond according to the way they feel when reading text.

    All of the details in your profile have not been completed most will scroll on. Including myself.

    Your age 51, your age range from 23-53 automatically makes me feel the ick you may not be a predator but that's what comes to mind. A 50-year-old chasing a 23-year-olds makes me feel yuk my unconscious mind is giving me “warning predator!! he could have a daughter that age 🤢.

    This feeling is affirmed when the max-age is no more than 2 years older than yourself. Unconscious mind “definitely a predator!! 🤮

    Truthfully I wouldn't even read your profile and I would block you.

    Profile wording
    Too much
    “I want to experience debaucherous group sex scenarios, kinky threesomes, swingers parties, sexy cuckold games, one on one steamy sessions... EVERYTHING! “

    This might be what you want to do but it makes me feel like you want it all and you want it now.

    Unconscious mind:- bull in a china shop, I feel like his behaviour would be unpredictable, feels unsafe I'm out.

    Again too much
    “I want to get an eclectic posse of sexually confident people (aka deviants) together to come explore with me, have fun and enjoy life!”

    The word deviant brings up feelings of being groped by drunken men who think it's ok to assault any female they like the look of. As women, we generally refer to them as disgusting ****ing deviant.

    You need to remember not a single one of the women on here knows anything about you. But what they do know is that their gut feeling is always bang on the money.

    Also, EVERY woman on the planet has been sexually groped by some disgusting ****ing deviant.

    What would you think if your daughter read out your profile to you but the profile belonged to a completely random guy she didn't know, had never met and he was 30 years older than her? Then she tells you she's thinking of going on a date with this guy. Notice what emotions come up for you.

    Your profile has nothing in it about your general day-to-day interests. So there is no commonality for me, no feeling of familiarity to want to connect with you.

    It might be a site where people come with intentions but if care, kindness and safety are not felt by reading a male profile I'm out.

    It's also worth noting women generally do not hunt here.

    Particularly those in their feminine because it just isn't in our nature to.

    A profile written like yours would be standard on another platform and the members there would not bat and eye. Whether it would be productive for you I do not know.

    I hope this gives you some insight into the feminine. Totally up to you what you choose to do with it. As always this is my perspective and I respect the fact that we are all individuals.

    Ex🐈‍⬛

  • RachWandered

    RachWandered

    a month ago

    Most people here are fairly comfortable with the fact that they like and want sex. Now work back from that … what is going to make someone want to like having sex with you?

    For me, there’s nothing more off putting than receiving prose about how much someone wants to eat me out or asking me what my fave sexual positions are …

    I find a lot of guys (and especially those aged over 40) often struggle to behave socially with women they want sexually. It’s probably generational and probably difficulties interacting with the women on these platforms.

    Like they just go full oleaginous mode as if basic social niceties aren’t expected by slutty ladies

    Not saying that’s your jam but in fairness I’d give your profile a wide berth. I don’t understand people who say they don’t take themselves seriously … and I reckon Ex007 had some good feedback.

    Good luck and don’t take it personally.

    People like what they like and we all have limitations on our time …

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    25 days ago

    Here’s my two cents….

    Remember that your first photo is the very first impression someone will get of you on here, aside from maybe reading a message you send.

    That first impression can convey so much information about someone. It can show sophistication, humour, trustworthiness, pride in your appearance, and intelligence.

    On the other hand, it can also show laziness, bad hygiene, a lack of effort with your appearance, and slobiness (new word 🙌).

    This is in an environment where people (particularly women) are incredibly skeptical and jaded, so these details matter.

    All that is to say, the first impression you’re giving, isn’t that great. Not that it’s bad, it’s just not an amazing photo. Particularly when you think that a lot of the guys you’re competing with have chiseled abs and ripped upper bodies.

    Your second photo is a much better first impression, in my opinion. You’re dressed up, looking pretty cool, nice haircut, and you’re smiling.

    You could actually still improve on that photo, but for now I’d just make it your cover photo. Still keep the current photo there, just down the line a bit.

    The second thing is your bio goes from 0 - 150kph within a single paragraph. You start off as a laid back down to earth guy and next thing we know we’re making an eclectic posse of sexual deviants.

    There’s a lot of women wanting to explore this world as well, but almost never without building a huge amount of trust first.

    I think tone it way back and try write something that starts to build that trust.

    In my opinion, the best way to do that is to write something uniquely about you. Something that shows you’re an individual with interests of your own, (inside and outside the bedroom) and not just another one of the thousands upon thousands of resentful and frustrated guys that women get messages from every day on here.

    Anyway, hope you’re feeling better and good luck!

  • Pangolin28

    Pangolin28

    25 days ago

    This place is a bit of an arse when it comes to connecting. Especially as I read you are not near a capital city. Mate I live in one of the bigger cities in Victoria and even then people in the capital city think it is in the middle of butt fuck nowhere.
    I can relate to the starting to feel something wrong in yourself. The first time I was here a dozen or so years ago I was feeling the same until I realised it isn't me. Hell I am a damn good bloke but just not the appeal to those that I was interested in.
    There are three choices, the first I would expect you have done. Change the profile up to try and catch the attention. The second is just hang in there and maybe something will come about. And the third try another site or opt for the real life thing.
    Too many choices in this candy store for the females here and that is thew biggest hurdle.
    But wish you all the best if you are hanging in here

  • GiverAndPleaser

    GiverAndPleaser

    25 days ago

    OK, for the record (I know it was only used in Ex’s post as a hypothetical possibility), I am not in any way, shape or form a sexual predator nor am I on RHP to conduct nefarious activities or try and grope unsuspecting 23 year olds. My profile is open and honest with content that clearly states my reason for being here (yes I’ll remove the word deviant and adjust the age bracket) as are my profile pics. Having said that though, I really appreciate the time everyone has sacrificed to post on this subject and will be taking all comments on board and adjusting my profile to give a better understanding of who I am, what I have to offer and what I’m looking for (yes I’ll tone that down too).

    Cheers All
    G&P

  • NeoAndTrin

    NeoAndTrin

    25 days ago

    Go into chat or attend events and meet people face to face.

  • KingCrimson68

    KingCrimson68

    25 days ago

    I came across this and found it worth replying to . Firstly there were a lot of great responses all with valid points . Firstly all you can do is try your best you can’t ask anymore than that. The reality is the ratio of males to couples that are vying for females is large . The females will get a lot of messages etc to the point where they either will be selective or not respond . Maybe look at other sites to get yourself out there so to speak don’t limit yourself to one site . What’s the old saying patience is a virtue …keep looking and trying different things

  • Flirty2020

    Flirty2020

    24 days ago

    It is a pity that you are a smoker. You are attractive and we might have considered a meet up - but being a smoker is a turn off for us

  • Introvertedfun

    Introvertedfun

    23 days ago

    Read the book by Robert Greene the laws of human nature

  • boobsandbusted

    boobsandbusted

    23 days ago

    Your profile is fine ,maybe write up a post for not getting any attention and see how you go I’m sure you will get at least 30 comments to respond to and engage with more peeps than you profile in a year , who knows ,you could get an offer to eat pillows oops I mean join someone tomorrow night ,

    I know all solid advice right there huh!

    Cheques in the mail right ?😀😂

  • boobsandbusted

    boobsandbusted

    23 days ago

    Ps ,not being an AHole ,just an attempt at humour and bring a smile to someone’s face ,before I get hate mail lol,

    Mr b

  • boobsandbusted

    boobsandbusted

    22 days ago

    @giver and pleaser ,

    I would also like to add one thing on a positive note ,all jokes aside ,you doing something very well in my opinion that will eventually lead to something and that’s starting a thread and engaging with the respondents , do this for the and get to some meet and greets with that same attitude and you will go far ,continue to be engaging and I will back it in you will eventually feel your going to win the war of self and self worth

    Best of luck

    Mr b

  • GiverAndPleaser

    GiverAndPleaser

    22 days ago

    That’s lovely of you to say but really wasn’t my intention. I will admit though that it has been a surprisingly enjoyable experience and would love to meet some of you face to face (even if it’s just for the intellectual connection alone). It’s actually changed my perspective on a myriad of things and I’m now thinking I need to reassess what it is that I’m actually doing here. It’s all so much more exciting now!

  • WolfWench

    WolfWench

    21 days ago

    I've just taken a look at your profile and as a women of around your age I would say your photos would make me want to read your profile so I'd be interested to see the updated version once you sort that out.

    To be honest if I'd read your original profile I would have vomited a bit in my mouth. Especially a man of your age interested in women that young.

    That's just me though. I'm after connection and the only way to do that is to not treat me like a piece of meat. There are unsafe men here. Women are used to feeling unsafe. How can you make a woman more comfortable to share her most tender bits with you?

    So many men just don't ask questions when they are striking up a conversation - they are too busy telling me they can't wait for me to sit on their face.

    What makes you a better person than all the other hungry men in my inbox?

    Engage my brain and you are half way there. Make me laugh and my knickers are coming off. 😅

    Good luck with it. Update us once you have your new profile up and tell us if it made a difference

  • GiverAndPleaser

    GiverAndPleaser

    20 days ago

    Oh and one last thing, and this is my second post about it, I am not a dirty old man chasing young women around! Again, assumptions made from suggestive posts! There’s actually a lot of positive posts here from some very intelligent and experienced humans, maybe latch onto some of what they said rather than the one or two negative ones. Or better yet, read some of my replies, they will give you a much better understanding of me.

  • WolfWench

    WolfWench

    20 days ago

    I am sorry if I came across too straight forward. I'm a straight talker and sometimes I can cut to the chase a bit hard. 😅
    I was just trying to convey how some of the wording made me feel, not that i thought you would treat people like a piece of meat.

    I suppose in your rewrite you will never please everyone or be what everyone is after. What's important is that you're what someone is after
    .
    Come on ladies.. he's shown he's a decent dude.. flood his inbox. 😜

  • Liz1487

    Liz1487

    20 days ago

    Hi
    Interesting post. It’s key to realise that dating app algorithms work on well-evidenced theories of assortitive mating. That’s the idea that people who want to fuck each other have similar social, cultural or physical traits. Apps promote stereotypically beautiful females to create an illusion of sexual availability, then rake in the cash from men off the back of that.

    Many would enjoy RHP more if they realised the ordinariness of most folks on here - of all genders - and looked for nice not unobtainable.

    Just my theory as a very ordinary gal!
    Liz

  • ChkL8

    ChkL8

    19 days ago

    I feel you @GiverandPleaser
    The amount of views after sending a message and not even a thanks but no thanks is annoying.
    And @primalcuriosity great advice.
    Validations amaze me when most of the validations are from the exact opposite of what the people are looking for.

  • seekandplay

    seekandplay

    18 days ago

    Secret Garden Society has just opened up for member vetting - parties and mingles all Geelong based. Thought of you. Have fun.

  • GiverAndPleaser

    GiverAndPleaser

    18 days ago

    Well here’s a pearler of an update for you all and it’s probably going to hinder any momentum I’d built over the past couple weeks. I decided to go for a surf this morning (crappy waves so I don’t know why) and face planted a submerged rock! My face is fine but the same can’t be said for my two bottom front teeth! It did a much more efficient job than any dentist I’ve been to however I didn’t get to keep them! The ocean has them now and I look like I’ve crawled out from under a bridge ffs!

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    16 days ago

    I have msged alot of people and had 3 people reply to me i joined thrle site to find women for fun times and nothing.

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    6 days ago

    There's absolutely no effort put in your profile. You are expecting great returns with minamal effort and you are also in competition with those who have put exceptional efforts into their profiles.


    Ms Foxy