M63
I get the txt, "I'm off UNI at 1:30pm"
September 06 2012
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
I've always dated older men, but wouldn't go older than 40, simply for the reason of appearance. I look younger than I am and wouldn't want us to look out of odds with each other. If you two have great sex and get along well I'm going to guess that the judgement is coming from elsewhere. Maybe she's told her gfs about you and they passed judgement or perhaps she wants to hang out with you socially but is afraid you won't fit into her life. You need to knock that emotional crying shit on the head though, that's not fun or healthy.
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RHP User
13 years ago
But it's here now..The crying was only sad weeping and its' ok by me when it's honest. I believe it is this time. She's told her gay buddy (every one needs a gay bloke to unload on LOL) back in Queensland and her flat mate about me and they both basically said "Go Girl". All her other friends are oblivious and she makes not secrets about keeping it that way. If I dropped her home during daylight it was always around the corner from her share house. Back in April she did not want me to even have a picture of her. ~sigh~But she's cool with that now..The other thing she said that stopped me in my tracks was "Sometimes I want you to just shut up and fuck me and not chat to me like we're friends".. Ummm.. not sure where to step now as the next mine is probably a doozy. Part of the thing we had that I liked WAS our connection as friends..I'll stay out of her way I think. Probably in another month or two when she's sorted her head out I'll get a call... Again.. I see a pattern forming..Thanks for your thoughts you two.
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RHP User
13 years ago
to want you,don't be so available,seems like a puppet on a string thing to me.
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RHP User
13 years ago
She sounds very conflicted and not happy within herself, maybe you are just a physical relief for her as it maybe that her life is somewhat complicated(to her that is) You can either enjoy the moment or if it is upsetting your emotions then make a decision. Perhaps she can feel she can come and go as she pleases not realising she is frustrating you emotionally. Treat it like a normal NSA so you don't get emotionally attached to this woman as her emotions seem somewhat unbalanced.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Couple of things. First off, we are a couple with a 30 year age gap. If you are attracted to each other don't let worrying about what other people think be the only reason you are not together. So in my view not the problem. The bigger issue here is that you basically want different things. You need to be patient and let her work out what she really wants from you. - best of luck Damo
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RHP User
13 years ago
Actually I'm really happy for the NSA stuff.. It's about all I have missing in my life at the moment. Well, that and about $5 000 000.This morning I get a need to be cathartic. So I put together some final thoughts and email her. Thanking her for passing though my life, wishing her well, thanking her for being prepared to chat to me on Wednesday etc.. I'm proof reading for the 5th time to make sure it reads the way I like and I hear my phone beep in the next room..You know where this is going right?I hit enter and wander out to my beeping phone.. "Hey I know it goes against what I said the the other day, but come over and caress me please??" So I rang her and we chatted. Felt nervous as fuck on the drive. It turned out to be lovely.~sigh~I can be a puppet for a little while..
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RHP User
13 years ago
Just enjoy the moment, you probably know it may not go anywhere but take each day as it comes and be thankful for every root you get lol. (not you personally but we should all be thankful that we have our needs met), anything else is a bonus. You take care and have fun, cos' lifes too short so just have to run with it.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I know cause I meet you once. You sure do not swim in the shallow end of the pool good for you Men are always on the razors edge one slip your nuts are cut off Emotions are not a bad thing at all, life gets messy its the best way to live it. And thanks for your posts of late, lovin em
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RHP User
13 years ago
~Smells tuscan's flower~Call me very nice any time..
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RHP User
13 years ago
Little finger, wrapped around, she's got you hooked bud. Really are you doing her any favours either.Been there twice before, with young ladies, and i can remeber Kj's wordsand she still likes to remind me sometimes. " are you fuckin crazy"I took her advice. She keeps me tethered firmly to the ground.My position these days is strong women who have their shit together.Women who absolutely don't need you, but like to have you around.Thats the greatest compliment I think.Good luck mate, and I say that cause I reckon your one of the good guys.Cheers Felonius
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RHP User
13 years ago
Thank you both for your thoughts and wishes..~waves~
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RHP User
13 years ago
And you two Peachy..
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RHP User
13 years ago
There's been a few of lovely visits since my last post.But a few days ago I sent a text along the lines, "Thinking of you, lovely to catch up over the weekend if you're able"? Silence.. Two two days.. Unusual.. So this morning I ring to check in.. No answer.. That’s not usual too. I'm concerned and a little peeved. So I txt asking asking what's up and make the mistake of saying i don't feel very respected. Clumsy of me.. But how to get someone to reply to a message!!My phone nearly burned my hand off with the responses that came back!!The other times we've ended it it's been sad but graceful. I'm sad it wasn't so this time. That dust will be me running to the hills.
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RHP User
13 years ago
thank you for sharing this experience with us,I wish it could have turned out differently for you.You have the soul of a poet and the heart of a lion.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'LittleRedEngine' There's been a few of lovely visits since my last post.But a few days ago I sent a text along the lines, "Thinking of you, lovely to catch up over the weekend if you're able"? Silence.. Two two days.. Unusual.. So this morning I ring to check in.. No answer.. That’s not usual too. I'm concerned and a little peeved. So I txt asking asking what's up and make the mistake of saying i don't feel very respected. Clumsy of me.. But how to get someone to reply to a message!!My phone nearly burned my hand off with the responses that came back!!The other times we've ended it it's been sad but graceful. I'm sad it wasn't so this time. That dust will be me running to the hills.not feeling respected, by the person you have shared your body with, can be very hurtful indeed! (especially, if you are the type, who chooses carefully, who you allow into your life and bed....and so when you do play, it actually means something, to you!)i have experienced something along those line, a while back...and it stung, like hell !!!but there are always lessons to be learnt...(for me it was a great opportunity, to learn, not to give too much importance, to people, who don't really matter much, after all, in the big scheme of things....)sorry to hear, that your liason has come to and end...but given the history...maybe she'll be texting you again, next week...
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RHP User
13 years ago
I'm sending you a lovely warm (((((hug)))))Honestly, as nice as the nsa has been, she really needs to get her shit together and stop messing you about.You deserve betterx
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RHP User
13 years ago
At least you have probably learnt a couple of lessons to stash away for next time. Cheers Felonious
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RHP User
13 years ago
Wanking is less hassle ~rolls eyes~I walk out to the phone after making the last post. She's then sent "sorry, I wont be able to catch up for a while. you are drowning me in anticipation. let it be."I put the phone down and walked away.I'm beginning to feel manipulated and I'm pretty sure I'm still running. There's plenty of fit young blokes at her campus she can hook for a casual fling and I bet they fuck a good deal better then me. :-PBut the experience was worth it, I'd do it all again ~grins~
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Cheekyarses
13 years ago
Enjoy what you have! Age is just a number......... She obviously feels very comfortable with you n trusts you - go with the flow xxx
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hey all. Thanks for all the nice posts and thoughts.. You're all getting a flirt.. Even the blokes.. (and i never flirt with blokes)..~jolly laugh~
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RHP User
13 years ago
I was hoping we'd make it till semesters end. Given it's already ended twice, gracefully, I hoped the next end would be the same.OK OK, call me a dreamer ~smiles~ Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Hey LRE... did you think, that it was going to end some day, in any other way?!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'LittleRedEngine' Wanking is less hassle ~rolls eyes~I walk out to the phone after making the last post. She's then sent "sorry, I wont be able to catch up for a while. you are drowning me in anticipation. let it be."I put the phone down and walked away.I'm beginning to feel manipulated and I'm pretty sure I'm still running. There's plenty of fit young blokes at her campus she can hook for a casual fling and I bet they fuck a good deal better then me. :-PBut the experience was worth it, I'd do it all again ~grins~ that is a line, i could never understand...i am very familiar,with the concept of the "less is more"....(just like Joss Stone said...lol)but still....i always thought, that making someone feel wanted, desired, anticipated....is a good thing...i personally feel super flattered, when i can feel, that a man is aching after me...(that raw hunger, and desire, just tends to activate that primal instinct...feeling like a woman,in power...yet one that wants to submit, to the passion, and lust, of her man..)why is expressing one's desires, has become a bad thing?"too full on"...why?would people rather share their bodies, with others, who don't give a rat's ass about them,5 minutes after, they have climaxed?same goes for men, though...it seems, that unless a woman is willing to play, the "treat them mean, keep them keen" game...they will confuse flattery with desperation...kindness with weakness...and all in a sudden, they think, they are God's gift to your body..and they should make all the rules!!!it's a shame, really!
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RHP User
13 years ago
No.. I was continually assessing her LOL..@lady2lady.. Yeah I don’t get it either.. I've been very good at giving her space, I think. And what is the anticipation she is talking about. I can think of about five meanings for this..Anyway....
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RHP User
13 years ago
here is a like button
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RHP User
13 years ago
Mischeviouslad...i have read up a little on mentioned topic "pattern Break"...very fascinating stuff, indeed...i think i'll find it very useful...thank youx
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RHP User
13 years ago
It occurred to me that I should make a final post about this..Christmas eve I rang to say the usual seasons greeting and wish her well. No answer.. There's been no contact (of any sort) since September so I was not so surprised.. I was surprised when she called back 10 minutes later. she apologized for missing the call and we talk.Small stuff. Checking in. How've you been? Have a safe trip east to your family.. Been thinking of you and wishing you well. Nice simple things.It's made all of this feel a lot better. A better ending. ~smiles~
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RHP User
13 years ago
And thank you all for your comments and ideas on this..
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RHP User
13 years ago
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RHP User
13 years ago
You sir, sound like a fascinating bloke to have a beer with... an older version of me ... lol The Oaks ? Or Minskies more your style ? A
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RHP User
13 years ago
I will elaborate on this later when I pull up for the night. But I can't help but feel that....you're just too nice.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' There IS a better way of communicating, something I've learned that utilises a psychological principle called the Pattern Break"... but the topic is a bit detailed for here and now. So the short answer is..... just dont keep texting someone who isnt replying. Give them a two week break and make them wonder about you instead. And when they ARE responding, always propose a meet-up by the third text, or the text ping pong gets tiresome and boring and the longewr you text back and forth, the less likely you are to meet! DG Recently, I have had a FWB relationship with a younder lady from my local. For the first month or so, I'd call or text on a daily basis without much response. I decided that I was overly investing time in this friendship and stopped. A couple of weeks later she was texting me to see if I wanted to go out for dinner. She's 28. A 22 year old has less idea of who she is and what she wants. But I feel for you LRE spending time with someone younger does energise me. And if you care for her, I mean as a friend, it hurts to see them struggling with the situation. My only advice is to give her room to work things out for herself. Be there for her within reason but don't make yourself her slave. I'm sure it will work out for the best.
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RHP User
13 years ago
The texting thing was a one off. A day when i was wondering what was going on. She’s always responded to phone calls and messages in the past. Oh and she's 27 not 22.Each time it's ended I've basically left her be. The first time it ended a phone call after 3-4 day to check in, ask how she was, thank her for the time together. After two months I found my self thinking of her one day. I wrote her a haiku.The second time after two days I got a message asking if we could forget about the lets call it off conversation.This time nothing till the phone call on xmas eve. Nearly three months.I care about her.. Enough to stay out of her hair if I feel I'm complicating her life.In the main my first fling with a younger woman has been positive, uplifting and will always be remembered very fondly. I think she's say the same.
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RHP User
13 years ago
thank you man...
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On_Safari
13 years ago
Hi LRE it's great to see a guy bouncing his experiences and putting faith in the RHP "Brains Trust". Your girl doesn't know what she wants.....at the end of the day mate it's her loss. She just robbed herself of having that "older guy I can open up to " thing. And like a yo-yo she'll be back, just don't invest in it emotionally anymore OR bite the bullet and form some mutual respect boundaries. Just my thoughts sweetpea.
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RHP User
13 years ago
You text & phoned everyday for a month without much response? What the? Why the hell would you do that. Personally that would freak me out. If someone is not responding to you that is a clear indication they want you to stop or they are getting a thrill at your undying devotion. Not good. :-/
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RHP User
13 years ago
I didn't notice the time line or see your last post LRE. I was only a few months behind. I must be catching up with rest of society.;-)
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madotara69
13 years ago
Hey LREHaving a good ole hug and cuddles is a box we tick often. Turns the shittiest of days into beauties.Thanks for sharing your feelings with us.Mado,Tara xx and ooooooo
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RHP User
13 years ago
I don't like to assume what others are thinking, because we are all so different. I go by the one rule - actions speak louder than words... LRE, I believe you have given it everything you have and being on the receiving end of hot/cold, not knowing where you stand or thinking "she has come back before, maybe she will come back again" is horrible and certainly is not how you deserve to be treated. I agree with ML, this pattern will never end any differently, the separation will just become nastier and nastier each time - it will continue on time and time again until everything you once admired or liked about each other is no more... I would recommend you keep your experience close to your heart and next time she contacts you, be friendly, just do not let it go down the path of sex - that's what she is coming back for. Get out of the sexual relationship (the complicator) and into the friendship you once enjoyed and had with her. You seem too nice and patient to be in an unhealthy, one sided booty call type relationship.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'You text & phoned everyday for a month without much response? What the? Why the hell would you do that. Personally that would freak me out. If someone is not responding to you that is a clear indication they want you to stop or they are getting a thrill at your undying devotion. Not good. :-/ Rejection does not appear to stand in Funlovers way?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'On_Safari' Hi LRE it's great to see a guy bouncing his experiences and putting faith in the RHP "Brains Trust". Your girl doesn't know what she wants.....at the end of the day mate it's her loss. She just robbed herself of having that "older guy I can open up to " thing. And like a yo-yo she'll be back, just don't invest in it emotionally anymore OR bite the bullet and form some mutual respect boundaries. Just my thoughts sweetpea. LRE, I know what was said about getting on the train but on reflection I think safari has a good point here as well about there being boundaries so its not just a on-way street.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'You text & phoned everyday for a month without much response? What the? Why the hell would you do that. Personally that would freak me out. If someone is not responding to you that is a clear indication they want you to stop or they are getting a thrill at your undying devotion. Not good. :-/ I can see how that looks now. To clarify, we drink at the same local so even though she wasn't available on the phone, we were still sleeping together regularly after meeting at the pub. Most of my messages were along the lines of 'how are you today? And like I said, once I stopped, she started. I understand the freak out thing but I'm not a scary stalker.....I'm a polite, well mannered one that isn't scary in the least.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Beesknees9' Quoting 'Meeka100'You text & phoned everyday for a month without much response? What the? Why the hell would you do that. Personally that would freak me out. If someone is not responding to you that is a clear indication they want you to stop or they are getting a thrill at your undying devotion. Not good. :-/ Rejection does not appear to stand in Funlovers way? If at first you don't succeed..........
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RHP User
13 years ago
Thanks all for your points.Setting some boundaries on my terms is a great idea. If the ride continues, I'll do so. I've proved to both of us I'm comfortable just walking away if I think it's for the best. So I don't feel at risk and she does not feel crowded.I think I have broad emotional shoulders.
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RHP User
13 years ago
a few months ago I was seeing a much older man who in my opinion treated me in a very cavalier way.He always expected me to host,he was single but never invited me to his house or even out for coffee. I was looking for a fwb situation nothing serious but it became clear he just wanted a fuck buddy.I decided to end it when he contacted me after I had told him I had hurt my foot and had been in hospital,not to ask how I was but to find out when he could come to my house again. I was a bit stunned by this callousness and my response was rather curt. I haven't heard from him for months and today I received an email inviting me out for lunch.....I shall not go on that merrygo round again. LRE I think you are hanging onto hope and sometimes hope is a very cruel mistress,this girl has told you clearly what she thinks and feels l so listen to her. ..you seem like a lovely man who deserves better than the crumbs she tosses so cavalierly your way.
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On_Safari
13 years ago
I'd accept the lunch invitation. Go dressed like the Goddess you are and listen to his proposal. If anything you can have a giggle later at how his eyes popped out of his head when he saw you and the realisation after lunch and your polite, sexy decline of his offer and that he is fundamentally flawed and blew the opportunity. Maybe he can remain a friend without benefit? (wink wink)
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RHP User
13 years ago
I don't consider that we were ever friends,his behaviour indicated otherwise.Besides there is no such thing as a free lunch lol
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