M51 F47
How to sell a Open relationship to a single person not in the scene?
May 03 2011
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
They mostly are fascinated by the whole open relationship deal and want to spend a lot of time talking about the mechanics of how that works.Yet remain reluctant to play....most just can't get past the fact that there is another woman.It just does their head in.Cheers Nev......good luck Andy
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RHP User
15 years ago
Talk about a hard one, Im not sure I can give you any positive news, but you sure pick your battles Andy Im thinking that most just plain old won't believe you, but you know some won't be too worried by it. ummm 50/50 chance of it going smoothly.
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N4November
15 years ago
I was contacted by a married man who is in a open relationship from rhp. I 'spoke' to his wife in chat and she was very open, accepting and respectful (and before you ask, she was on cam so it wasn't him pretending to be his wife). They have a couples profile and he has his own profile advertising himself in an open married. His 'single' profile is referred too in their couples profile. Amazing love and trust between the both of them (I have since met her for a drink when I was in their home town). And both of them are sooooo sexy!! But I think they are the exception not the norm. . But to play with someone not in the scene? . My advice is to play as a 'single man' and not mention Salina at all. As a couple, you have an open and honest relationship. What I detest is those men who play behind their partners backs. And while you are being deceptive about your relationship status; as long as you continue to treat your new encounters with genuine open sexiness and have heaps of fun together... fantastic!! If it looks like turning into a FWB situation, well you would just end up hurting her if you told her the truth - that you lied from the beginning - well with her anyway. So I wouldn't go there. . Hope this helps? . xx
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N4November
15 years ago
The short answer of the above is why bother trying to SELL IT???! Isn't that just putting a label on it and hope it wins public appeal?! You're not breaking the law.... and by virtue of not being deceptive as a cheating husband, you will be able to give your 'date' all of you and all you have to offer for that ENCOUNTER.... no different from swinging.... the sharing pleasure. Good luck!
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RHP User
15 years ago
I'm with Baygirl - as long as your partner is genuinely fine with it, I don't see why you need to share the details with a stranger. She probably won't be that interested and besides, it's none of her business. The only responsibility you have is to make sure that she knows that it's only sex, and don't lead her into thinking that it might develop into more. That's treating your fling and your partner with the respect they both deserve.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I know some girls who will play with a married man that is going behind his wife's back...but will not play with someone that has permission! Confusing! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Not really Funloving. I have a girlfriend like that will only "date" married guys. She just enjoys the taboo of it all, arranging the hotels in the middle of the day and the sneaking around, I suspect most of the guys she sees don't get much at home from the wife, so they are always very appreciative and treat her very well.xxMeeks
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RHP User
15 years ago
Andy, I would say that the every day girl will just not believe you, as it is a hard concept to get your head around for a lot of people. As Nev says I think most women would be fascinated by it all but whether they would want to date you. Probably not. Can I ask, what do you mean by date? Wine and dine them & bring them flowers?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Not really Funloving. I have a girlfriend like that will only "date" married guys. She just enjoys the taboo of it all, arranging the hotels in the middle of the day and the sneaking around, I suspect most of the guys she sees don't get much at home from the wife, so they are always very appreciative and treat her very well.xxMeeks I understand your girlfriend completely..they are more attentive and appreciative and they do treat you better than a lot of single guys on here! I like your friend! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'xFunlovingx' I know some girls who will play with a married man that is going behind his wife's back...but will not play with someone that has permission! Confusing! xFunlovingx Whilst in my open marriage, we both encountered this occasionally and it definitely isn't just women. My long time FWB (male) was initially very hesitant. If, as Andy says, someone is not 'in the scene' and understanding of the dynamic involved, it can be very hard for them to get their head around the concept of a relationship that is trusting, honest, open and involves full and frank disclosure for all parties. . I can understand what you mean Andy, when you say it is daunting to attempt to "sell it". And I agree with Nev that many women (but also men) will want to discuss the mechanics of it, mostly out of fascination, but also to 'cover themselves' to an extent and reassure themselves that they are not 'home-wrecking' or being parties to an elaborate scheme of deceit. . I found that entertaining and going through the seemingly endless questions and answers session helped. Having these discussions helped a lot, as did making myself available to the woman should she wish to have a quick chat online to ascertain I was the real deal and OK with hubby meeting her. . Patience will yield results, but as for this particular person, I don't have any specific useful advice. Whilst I can see the points of those above who suggest not saying anything, that would never have sat well with either of us and so we were open and honest with any prospective partner. I found also that being prepared to explain the boundaries that you the couple had and not just making the point of only talking about all the benefits helped in communicating to the third person that you were realistic and aware of there being pros and possible cons to your open marriage. . The reality is that many women just don't share well. It is a small minority in my opinion, who prefer deceit/affairs over open, honest communicative fun with a person in an open marriage. You may face more knockbacks than wins, but it is worth pursuing. Both hubby and I had some great experiences with understanding people who were respectful of our primary partnership and knew where they stood in the big picture. . Good Luck! (Noticed you both hadn't been around much lately - welcome back!)
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RHP User
15 years ago
I love your moral dillemas Andy (and there are things I love about you too Sal ). You always have brilliant questions. . It's probably a bit harder for the guy. We have a girl at work who is in an open marriage - and after 2 or 3 drinks, I would say VERY open relationship, but I digress. She tries to explain it with "Oh I let him sleep with other girls as long as they're hotter than me". Not sure if he uses the same line with ladies he's picking up, or if it works.. but it might be one to try. . As for the whole 'just don't tell her' - I reckon that's a low act.. I mean it serves your needs perfectly, but it's deceptive and if it's any more than a random fuck in an alleyway, at some point the fact you didn't tell her about yummy Sal might rear it's head and if she has invested any form of emotional attachment she's going to feel used and that's usually when the icepick comes out. . 1 - If you tell her and she doesn't like to share... .FAIL 2 - If you tell her and she prefers to root attached men without their partner knowing - FAIL 3 - If you don't tell her and she attaches herself to your leg before you mention Sal - Icepick to the groin (FAIL) Kinda cuts down your potential target audience... . So there you have it... no useful advice at all. Glad I could help.
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RHP User
15 years ago
She's never going to understand Andy. What she is likely to want.... is an exclusive relationship with a charming and handsome devil .. but you can get one of those any time you want! Hmmm... I mean... your entangled with a beautiful woman and how can she possibly compete with me... and Sal every Friday Fling night?Nope... your task involves cultural change... that's mammoth.HUgsstalk-u
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RHP User
15 years ago
Mate, as has been mentioned before, you really come up with some hard questions. I haven't been in an open relationship, so you should probably take anything I have to say with a grain of salt. Having said that I have a couple of wonderful "friends with benefits" who each know they are not the only one. In your position I don't think I could just lie about it. That old saying about the tangled web. It just gets too complicated. That might limit options as I would expect many men and women would have difficulty really understanding the kind of relationship you have with Sal (which I think is beautiful - corny but true). I guess it would all depend on what your priorities were. If you just want to get laid, then lying would probably get you there. But having read you on the forums for a while now and also given the relationship you have with Sal, I am guessing that lying would make you uncomfortable, especially in the longer term. Not meaning to preach here, everyone makes their own choices and I am not one to judge, not even remotely qualified for that lol. The truth is always a better option. I think I might have signed off a few other forum posts like this, but for me its true. "Honesty - not helping me get laid, but it sure helps when you look in the mirror"
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RHP User
15 years ago
Just give them Sals number and tell them to confirm..lol and then all will be sorted
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RHP User
15 years ago
100,s I have play with. over the last 5 years ( does not include couples or girls I met at a club. )How many people to start email I send mmm 2000 ,talk on the phone 400 how many coffee dates 200 , 100 3somes , only 50 wants to do it second time . about 5 people I would call love term lover .I love my life , but for every 100 3somes , that right , I get about 1900 , No mmmm I also get about 100 , you are the devil , you going to go to hell , plus many more names . I tell you one funny fact , i think half of the woman think I,m lying , & they have to just come to a swinger club to find out weather my wife is cool with it , or to provide me wrong.
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RHP User
15 years ago
So Hotsexycouple88, when do you do you actually find time to play with your wife??God, no wonder I never get enough sex. Who the hell wants to invest all that time - you spoke to 400 randoms on the phone? 200 coffee dates? Just makes me tired thinking about it.Must be a man thing cause no women could be bothered with that! Or is that just me? I admit it...... I rarely go into the whole lets exchange a million emails, lets meet for coffee, blah blah. Let's just meet and bonk then we can re-assess the situation. Gawd I am a lazy tart!xxMeeks
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'So Hotsexycouple88, when do you do you actually find time to play with your wife??God, no wonder I never get enough sex. Who the hell wants to invest all that time - you spoke to 400 randoms on the phone? 200 coffee dates? Just makes me tired thinking about it.Must be a man thing cause no women could be bothered with that! Or is that just me? I admit it...... I rarely go into the whole lets exchange a million emails, lets meet for coffee, blah blah. Let's just meet and bonk then we can re-assess the situation. Gawd I am a lazy tart!xxMeekspmsl.... tired just thinking about it... I gotta say after reading that post I was thinking it would almost be worth investing in a coffee machine... then again if you take them to the same coffee shop you can use your loyalty card and every 6th date is a freebie. And if you get a root out of it it's like winning the freaking lotto!!!!!
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N4November
15 years ago
I reread your post and I've actually changed my mind from my earlier comments... . I totally agree with justforfunisall's advice and logic - as always, looked at all angles and you also do have to look at yourself in the mirror in the morning.... . so as couplesint said - get your prospective playmate to ring Sal. . And after that and if she's still into you, she'll play
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RHP User
15 years ago
Nah JG, I reckon you would get a better return on your investment if you invest in a group of blow up dolls. You can even have an orgy on occasions. Mix it up - maybe throw in a blow up pig or something. Sorry Honestsexycouple88, not meaning to be rude but fuck me, where do you find the time?xxMeeks
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Must be a man thing cause no women could be bothered with that! Or is that just me? I admit it...... I rarely go into the whole lets exchange a million emails, lets meet for coffee, blah blah. Let's just meet and bonk then we can re-assess the situation. Gawd I am a lazy tart! Then you're prepared to invest the hard yards to get it right Meeks. It's a balancing act juggling a long term commitment with "extra curricular" activities. Infact sometimes, it's a mission in itself to manage the logistics and you really have to wonder if it's worthwhile for the effort you invest. And yes, it's infinitely harder for the male! . ... Almost makes blowup dolls seem like a much less complicated option actually, although Finally Miley would most likely be preferable to the pig methinks. You know JG has a penchant for youthful ... celebrity
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mdm_66
15 years ago
I worked with a guy who was in an open relationship and looking for a FWB. He had a lot going for him; and was always honest with the girls he met. But after several years he had many Fs, but no WBs. Eventually, he met a great woman and they had lots in common. She really liked him. After much deliberation, he decided not to mention his partner and succeeded in seducing her. For a short while, things were great... but his new FWB found out about his partner and was really hurt (she twigged when she stayed at his place and saw all the girls things in his bathroom!). He explained about the open relationship, but she still felt "violated" and "betrayed".So I guess you could possibly lie if you know it's a one-night-stand, but not for anything where there may be a future.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' So Hotsexycouple88, when do you do you actually find time to play with your wife??God, no wonder I never get enough sex. Who the hell wants to invest all that time - you spoke to 400 randoms on the phone? 200 coffee dates? Just makes me tired thinking about it.Must be a man thing cause no women could be bothered with that! Or is that just me? I admit it...... I rarely go into the whole lets exchange a million emails, lets meet for coffee, blah blah. Let's just meet and bonk then we can re-assess the situation. Gawd I am a lazy tart!xxMeeks Well Meeks , I only have sex with them alone the frist time , then I take them to a club the second time (-: with my wife , I love having 3 somes with my wife the best (-: I don,t talk on the phone with ramdon people , I only pick the classy slutty one , That I think would fit into the lifestyle.Well you just meet & Bonk , like i use to do & you do now , you get a lot more losers , Sorry Meeks , just not into average sex.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Jean_Girard' Quoting 'Meeka100'So Hotsexycouple88, when do you do you actually find time to play with your wife??God, no wonder I never get enough sex. Who the hell wants to invest all that time - you spoke to 400 randoms on the phone? 200 coffee dates? Just makes me tired thinking about it.Must be a man thing cause no women could be bothered with that! Or is that just me? I admit it...... I rarely go into the whole lets exchange a million emails, lets meet for coffee, blah blah. Let's just meet and bonk then we can re-assess the situation. Gawd I am a lazy tart!xxMeekspmsl.... tired just thinking about it... I gotta say after reading that post I was thinking it would almost be worth investing in a coffee machine... then again if you take them to the same coffee shop you can use your loyalty card and every 6th date is a freebie. And if you get a root out of it it's like winning the freaking lotto!!!!! Jean & Meek , you guys should get out more (-:I bet i spead a lot less time here they you guys , I slow down a bit now , only meet a new girl once a week , so that only 2 coffee dates , no big deal , To have sex with some one you love & have a deep connection with. & some one new at the same time, sooo hot.
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RHP User
15 years ago
wow I posted this the other day and wasn't sure if RHP had put it up. I've not had a chance to read all of these yet. But seemingly food for thought everyone. What I mean by date is, meet and great, if they are looking for some no strings fun. It could also mean new friendship for Salina and myself as a couple, with a chance of play with me or us at random moments in the future. We really arn't looking for threesomes or for the girls to have to play with Salina. She's got herself some porno, stripper man. ON a side note - Funny story actually when we played as a couple people would always say to her 'obvioulsy you're into the big guys, with the six packs.' and she would get ever so offended and say 'if that was the case, look at Andy.' Thanks honey. BUT the first chance she gets to play alone she gets a six foot tall stripper with a buff bod, musk of fake tan and a porno movie career. Plus her crush on Sparticus (an actor we met and she played with - not his real name) makes me want to vom.! I shouldn't complain at all. She deserves all she wants. All those hairy backed, mushroom dicked 'taken one for the team' guys she's had to put up with while i've been with the wives :P Anyway ... My sophisticated hook ups so far have been with uber sexy lawyers (think Ally Mcbeal but twice as hot) and group fitness instructors ... oh that was fun, buff bodies and a nice cup of coffee between sessions. Both the girls we have met sociallly Both of them have got Salina's phone number. Salina and I have played with one in a very dominant threesome session that I"m sure left Salina concused (not from a slap from me - ouch) the other is keen to meet us both. I guess what I want is someone who wants to meet me, but be aware of Salina. Again, no expectations of threesomes as I much prefer one on ones. But if you are into girls too, then that's an option. What I"m getting from some of the comments here, is that if it's just a hook up, one night stand. I lie? Really?
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RHP User
15 years ago
If it is a one night stand Andy, why would you tell them anything about your personal life? I don't think it is necessary. But if you feel that you need to tell the other person you are in relationship well more power to you. If you think it will develop into a FWB situation then yes you should tell them about Salina. xxMeeks
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RHP User
15 years ago
Never hold any untruths back, it can cause angst amongst all involved, anytime you play as a single when you are in fact a couple you should always be honest up front.It saves all the problems from evolving down the line.Keep communicating and remember, all that matters in this lifestyle is YOU both as a couple, and what you BOTH want out of it.It should never be just about ONE or the OHTER, it should be what you both want.After all at the end of the day..." Is it really that important", all that matters is the both of you.xxx Leesa
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'SalAndy' She's got herself some porno, stripper man. ON a side note - Funny story actually when we played as a couple people would always say to her 'obvioulsy you're into the big guys, with the six packs.' and she would get ever so offended and say 'if that was the case, look at Andy.' Thanks honey. BUT the first chance she gets to play alone she gets a six foot tall stripper with a buff bod, musk of fake tan and a porno movie career. Plus her crush on Sparticus (an actor we met and she played with - not his real name) makes me want to vom.! Classic! A woman wants what she wants and at times, what she wants will make you want to vomit. Such is a woman's perogative! Who says we can't be visual creatures? LOL. Quoting 'SalAndy' What I"m getting from some of the comments here, is that if it's just a hook up, one night stand. I lie? Really? No! Don't lie. I agree with Leesa. Lying in one way or another will always backfire. Lies erode your primary relationship and lying isn't worth it for anyone. Seek someone who will respect your primary relationship first and foremost, regardless of whether it's a one nighter or a more regular playmate. . Flirty x
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RHP User
15 years ago
Damn you Jean and your comments on the coffee machine.... The gig is up.. hehe.Meeks... you are so right. There's just no way I would ever get involved in all that hard work when we could all be bonking.HugsStalky Quoting 'Jean_Girard' Quoting 'Meeka100'So Hotsexycouple88, when do you do you actually find time to play with your wife??God, no wonder I never get enough sex. Who the hell wants to invest all that time - you spoke to 400 randoms on the phone? 200 coffee dates? Just makes me tired thinking about it.Must be a man thing cause no women could be bothered with that! Or is that just me? I admit it...... I rarely go into the whole lets exchange a million emails, lets meet for coffee, blah blah. Let's just meet and bonk then we can re-assess the situation. Gawd I am a lazy tart!xxMeekspmsl.... tired just thinking about it... I gotta say after reading that post I was thinking it would almost be worth investing in a coffee machine... then again if you take them to the same coffee shop you can use your loyalty card and every 6th date is a freebie. And if you get a root out of it it's like winning the freaking lotto!!!!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'SalAndy' What I"m getting from some of the comments here, is that if it's just a hook up, one night stand. I lie? Really? Maybe the best way is to mention it kinda casually... so say after you've just finished a rather vigorous session (that would leave spartacus for dead), you've felt her pussy tighten, clench and quiver around your cock, you've cum and almost shot her into the bedhead, you casually climb off and say: "Wow... you're every bit as good as my girlfriend" Optimistically - hope for a "Thanks, you're not a bad root either". (I'd go for a grope and round 2 at this point) Worst case - "What the fuck... a girlfriend?? Why didn't you tell me" (Respond with "I just did" and roll your eyes. I'd go for a grope and round 2 at this point too)
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RHP User
15 years ago
Lolz @ the six pack jibe Andy. You obviously need a new personal trainer! Oh wait. hehe.Andy, if someone asks, then you obviously say you have a beautiful woman in your life and you'd like to keep things that way. But there can be no forseeable reason to start off a conversation by volunteering that information for an alcohol fueled shag in the carpark behind the leagues club. Shag first... ask questions later.... :)HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Lolz @ the six pack jibe Andy. You obviously need a new personal trainer! Oh wait. hehe.Andy, if someone asks, then you obviously say you have a beautiful woman in your life and you'd like to keep things that way. But there can be no forseeable reason to start off a conversation by volunteering that information for an alcohol fueled shag in the carpark behind the leagues club. Shag first... ask questions later.... :)HugsStalky This is 100% spot on Stalky . Andy , don,t make it harder then what it is mate. Now move away form the computer & go get them (-:
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Jean_Girard' Quoting 'SalAndy' What I"m getting from some of the comments here, is that if it's just a hook up, one night stand. I lie? Really? Maybe the best way is to mention it kinda casually... so say after you've just finished a rather vigorous session (that would leave spartacus for dead), you've felt her pussy tighten, clench and quiver around your cock, you've cum and almost shot her into the bedhead, you casually climb off and say: "Wow... you're every bit as good as my girlfriend" Optimistically - hope for a "Thanks, you're not a bad root either". (I'd go for a grope and round 2 at this point) Worst case - "What the fuck... a girlfriend?? Why didn't you tell me" (Respond with "I just did" and roll your eyes. I'd go for a grope and round 2 at this point too)LOl so right , this is how i bring it up , Next time , i would like you to meet my very best friend ,male or female , female , mmm will she be cool with it ??? o yes , like i said I don,t cheat , I told her i was going out with you ,mmmmmm maybe we go to this club I ,know , it,s really fun & open & we all have a good time. ok you get the picture The point is that I told her but did not make a big deal out of it & I did not lie 2nd point I can,t stop this under line thing lol
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'SalAndy' wow I posted this the other day and wasn't sure if RHP had put it up. I've not had a chance to read all of these yet. But seemingly food for thought everyone. What I mean by date is, meet and great, if they are looking for some no strings fun. It could also mean new friendship for Salina and myself as a couple, with a chance of play with me or us at random moments in the future. We really arn't looking for threesomes or for the girls to have to play with Salina. She's got herself some porno, stripper man. ON a side note - Funny story actually when we played as a couple people would always say to her 'obvioulsy you're into the big guys, with the six packs.' and she would get ever so offended and say 'if that was the case, look at Andy.' Thanks honey. BUT the first chance she gets to play alone she gets a six foot tall stripper with a buff bod, musk of fake tan and a porno movie career. Plus her crush on Sparticus (an actor we met and she played with - not his real name) makes me want to vom.! I shouldn't complain at all. She deserves all she wants. All those hairy backed, mushroom dicked 'taken one for the team' guys she's had to put up with while i've been with the wives :P Anyway ... My sophisticated hook ups so far have been with uber sexy lawyers (think Ally Mcbeal but twice as hot) and group fitness instructors ... oh that was fun, buff bodies and a nice cup of coffee between sessions. Both the girls we have met sociallly Both of them have got Salina's phone number. Salina and I have played with one in a very dominant threesome session that I"m sure left Salina concused (not from a slap from me - ouch) the other is keen to meet us both. I guess what I want is someone who wants to meet me, but be aware of Salina. Again, no expectations of threesomes as I much prefer one on ones. But if you are into girls too, then that's an option. What I"m getting from some of the comments here, is that if it's just a hook up, one night stand. I lie? Really? Andy I am a very straight girl that won't see a guy in an Open Relationship at all! I am going to be honest with you but please do not take offence... What I have highlighted in red is the reason why a straight girl who is not in the scene will not get with men in Open Relationships! As your partner is bi-sexual I would have it in my mind that you will not only want me but you will want me to be with your partner as well...I know it doesn't really make sense. Even in your post you talk about it a few times....Reading your post as a straightie...I read yadda yadda yadda option for both of us .. yadda yadda yadda bisexual 3ums....does that help? < I am only answering as a straight girl here.... xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
When I was a single girl, I was very picky with the "attached/married" men I played with. I found it hard to accept my place in an open relationship, especially if the guy's girlfriend was in my opinion, slimer or prettier than me. And while I knew the playing rules of an open relationship, I found I would shy away from someone I really liked who was in an open relationship ....because.....I couldn't trust myself to want only sex. Ultimately I wanted more than sex, and having sex with a guy I liked who was in an open relationship meant that I wasn't going to get what I really wanted....freehold sex....strings are attached in this instance. . Just my take on being a single woman.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Okay so xfunloving i know you saw yadda yadda yadda but the first thing I wrote which probably wasn't yadda yadda yadda was this. also mean new friendship for Salina and myself as a couple, with a chance of play with me or us at random moments in the future. We really arn't looking for threesomes or for the girls to have to play with Salina. She's got herself some porno, stripper man. What I'm trying to say that if you are straight that is great, because Salina wants guys too and off we go, meet you at half time honey. . If someone is not straight and wants to play with us then although we arn't looking for it, it's an option All i'm doing in the bits you've highlighted is saying that if you're into ladies it's not out of the question. Why AS a straight lady would that put you off. GRR that's just annoying that you've written that. It's like we are a couple of predetors trying to pray on straight girls to turn gay for us. Like we care that much about girl on girl action. Anyway - everyone else has got some excellent comments. And this is a great topic, I just need some single girls (or ones in open relationships) to read how honest and sensitive I am, and contact me for a shag out the back of the leagues club (as stalky pointed out) COme on Brisbane ladies. I promise I wont try and turn you into a raving lesbian. P.S Morticiaaa. I actually really get what you are saying. Which is why lying is not an option. Because you are starting somehting with another person, and if they do allow themselves to open up without being warned or prepared to not get 'too' close then it would be horrible.
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RHP User
15 years ago
No need to explain if they're in the same boat as you....?xx Sarah
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'SalAndy' Okay so xfunloving i know you saw yadda yadda yadda but the first thing I wrote which probably wasn't yadda yadda yadda was this. also mean new friendship for Salina and myself as a couple, with a chance of play with me or us at random moments in the future. We really arn't looking for threesomes or for the girls to have to play with Salina. She's got herself some porno, stripper man. What I'm trying to say that if you are straight that is great, because Salina wants guys too and off we go, meet you at half time honey. . If someone is not straight and wants to play with us then although we arn't looking for it, it's an option All i'm doing in the bits you've highlighted is saying that if you're into ladies it's not out of the question. Why AS a straight lady would that put you off. GRR that's just annoying that you've written that. It's like we are a couple of predetors trying to pray on straight girls to turn gay for us. Like we care that much about girl on girl action. I never meant to upset you or get you angry. I was just telling you how it is for me as a straight girl! What makes me feel that way? It has happened to me before...I was stuck in the awkward position of having sex with him and then one night he brought her along! Not saying that that is what you and the wonderful Salina would do at all (from your Posts I think that you are so open and honest and I love that about you both)! I am just saying from the point of view of someone who is not into the "scene" as you put it on your OP! Does that make sense? Please don't be frustrated by what I said....I was going from that angle! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Actually its difficult meeting a random and later to tell that person that youre already in a relationship. I mean even if you never expect to ever see that person again, often, people want to exchange contact details. It really is best practice to break the news right off to stave off any expectations, especially from singles. That is, if you have a heart Andy... and I know you do... you'll find a way to limit your lover's expectations given your enduring relationship with Sal. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
For me, when we discussed open relationship I never really considered looking for playmates in the 'real world'. As a couple we don't so why as a singles would we? ofcourse in any situation, online or elsewhere I think honesty is best policy. If a person does not want to be with Andy because he is in an open relationship, then they have the right to make that choice without deceit and they are not the right person to be fooling around with as it could get messy if the truth for whatever reason needs to be told. We both have single profiles..they say we are in an open relationship and our couples profile says we play together and apart. I think seeking out others that are also in open relationships is a great idea. They are looking for the same thing, NSA fun and I have found generally found they don't need as much of the getting to know you to and fro as being in a couple as well they have other commitments and limited free time too. we both have been telling one another that the other has the best end of the stick in this arrangement. Andrew has all the free time in the world...well way more than I do for such persuits anyway lol, but I plan to make the most of it and have fun too....I will let him tell you why he thinks I have it better :P xx Salina
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RHP User
15 years ago
Andy here so i've got my profile to share with you all for a 'dating thingo'. first off i want to say xfunlovingx all is forgiven. I just am a fiesty one. xxx Profile. Combineing all the suggestions put through from the RHPer's. Thoughts ???? Hello my name is Andrew and I want to come out right now and say it. I'm in an open relationship. Okay phew glad I got that out of the way. Now what does this mean. Well it means that if you are looking for some non complicated, no strings fun. I'm your guy. I've you're looking for babies, a relationship and marriage, probably best you don't continue reading.' Oh so you kept reading did you, peaked your interest did I. Curious on what it is I have to say. So I'm 36, but I've been told I look about 28 and I'm certainly not a sugar daddy. I've been married, have a 8 year old son. I work in I.T, wrote a couple of fiction books and plan on doing something with my personal training qualifications, but am yet to for fill that little life goal. I'm looking for someone who knows what they want. I don't want to dance around with someone fanning my feathers. Okay well perhaps I do at the start. There obviously has to be some attraction, I need to put in some effort I grant you that. But mostly I'm looking for the non - complicated type of loving, that comes with a strong headed woman, who knows what she wants. My partner has her own profile, so don't worry about her she's is fine having her own dates. I'm just available more times than she is due to family commitments on her part. I'm fully prepared to share my partners contact details with whoever likes the idea of this. I'm not rushing anyone into anything if you don't want to know, then that is fine. If you do want to know, even if it's about the dynamics of an open relationship. Happy to tell you. Call me Andrew
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RHP User
15 years ago
WoW!! I love your spin on this thread. So rarely do you meet or hear of a woman who is straight to the point with no bullshit. You say what you mean and stand by it...Go girl!! Oh and I agree 100% with all your comments. I'm with you all the way. When ever I'm next in Sydney would you like to have a meeting of like-minded attitudes with myself?? Have fun & don't hold back....Love it S x
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RHP User
15 years ago
Male half here and I know exactly where your coming from I am sorry I do not have any advice but this is a great thread you have started I will be keeping a close eye on this oneThanks again Andy great post :-)
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RHP User
15 years ago
Right to the point and no dancing around the OR issue. Lots of OR guys profiles on here have it as an aside rather than directly addressing it. However, I think you need an additional paragraph under it that goes on to describe YOU, what makes you worth playing with once they've satisfied their curiosity about your relationship.And, one more tiny little thing, saying that Sal has less time due to 'family commitment's makes it sound like you're swanning off and leaving her to mind the house/kids/whatever while you get laid, lol. I don't think you need to explain what she does with her time beyond saying she has her own dates.xx Sarah
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'curiousnewgirl78' And, one more tiny little thing, saying that Sal has less time due to 'family commitment's makes it sound like you're swanning off and leaving her to mind the house/kids/whatever while you get laid, lol. I don't think you need to explain what she does with her time beyond saying she has her own dates. xx SarahI thought the same thing... that sounded shocking lol.
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RHP User
15 years ago
My thoughts, I have this and live with 2 great guys, i didnt look for it, it fell in my lap...I am lucky and have a wonderful life with 2 men i love and share my life with.Maybe dont try hard and it will just happen, both of you will find that perfect person to share the fun times with, no strings attached, ( not like me i add, there are strings attached here..lol as we all live together) but my advice, it i will just jump up and hit you in the head one day, dont try so hard and it will happen.I certainly wasnt looking for it at all and it is just right...xxx Leesa
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RHP User
15 years ago
I love serendipity -enjoy the happy accidents Leesa. Andy i'll be blunt. Your reference to feathers is disturbing. I don't know why but it just doesn't flow nicely and the imagery is far from masculine. Plus.... you've changed the topic of discussion. Women who are not in the scene are not reading your RHP profile... how do you sell an open relationship to the girl next door? So far the solution has been to "date" players who'll understand. Maybe that's the reality. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
There was nothing wrong with the peacock reference, come on Stalk. We all do it. Some guy turns up on his motorcycle. Offers to take you for a ride around Sydney takes you on the back of his bike to a very dodgy date, where you have to be naked and surround by other naked men. Who seeem to thing that shaking your willy instead of your hand is acceptable? Well that's the night I got when we went on our date. Scared for life when that little oriental man came up behind me!! Anyway I digress ... where were we. So if I leave it Leesa, they will come? Hmm that does sound intersting. And noted curiousnewgirl. I'll remove the reference to the 'staying home with the baby' Not that she is. we don't have a baby. Oh god what a bastard if I was doign that. But Leesa it is Friday night at C.I tonight. Isn't that when all the single girls come out to play? Umm curious. Okay so are we done? Any more suggestions. I've called my single profile supernatural_man because lets face it. That show is awesome. Let's see what happens this weekend I'll let you know my lovely peoples. andyrew
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'SalAndy' There was nothing wrong with the peacock reference, come on Stalk. We all do it. Some guy turns up on his motorcycle. Offers to take you for a ride around Sydney takes you on the back of his bike to a very dodgy date, where you have to be naked and surround by other naked men. Who seeem to thing that shaking your willy instead of your hand is acceptable? Well that's the night I got when we went on our date. Now where have I heard of a date like that before? *giggle* Wow Stalky, you sure turn on the charm, don't you? Good to see though, that you don't discriminate between the sexes and treat your women to the same delights as you treat your men! . ... It's the bike thing, isn't it? Throbbing things between your legs ... Is that your draw card?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Yup Fridays are the nights to see the single ladies cause i make it free for them..lol usually.Oh and Stalky your profile picture is very alluring indeed..lolLeesa
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RHP User
15 years ago
Or can i suggest you come to singles night on the 19th as this is when singles are coming, you can attend if you are allowed to play seperately but no couples are allowed.If you wish to come i will allow you as a single guy no problems, all the other single guys need to be selected and i dont look forward to the task as there are 150 registered, but there are 40-50 ladies coming so it should be a good night.Leesa xxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'SalAndy' Some guy turns up on his motorcycle. Offers to take you for a ride around Sydney takes you on the back of his bike to a very dodgy date, where you have to be naked and surround by other naked men. Who seeem to thing that shaking your willy instead of your hand is acceptable? Well that's the night I got when we went on our date. Scared for life when that little oriental man came up behind me!! Anyway I digress ... where were we. lolz what can I say Andy! What a night! I had an experience just like that myself! it was just as well we went to to the tame venue then huh? I mean to say... at least one of those people looked kind of female! and anyway..... two dudes on the loose at such short notice... I guess we could have gone to a bar.... no wait.. we did go to a bar... and they wouldn't let me in without my pants on! Oh and thanks Flirty. My memory must be playing tricks on me... but it's one in... all in at certain venues... lmfao.... And as for all the rest of you dirty fuckers... stop comparing notes or I will take my bat and ball and go home. Discretely yoursStalkyHugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Notes? I didn't notice anyone taking notes. Indiscretely yours, Meeks
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'stalky'Quoting 'SalAndy' Some guy turns up on his motorcycle. Offers to take you for a ride around Sydney takes you on the back of his bike to a very dodgy date, where you have to be naked and surround by other naked men. Who seeem to thing that shaking your willy instead of your hand is acceptable? Well that's the night I got when we went on our date. Scared for life when that little oriental man came up behind me!! Anyway I digress ... where were we. lolz what can I say Andy! What a night! I had an experience just like that myself! it was just as well we went to to the tame venue then huh? I mean to say... at least one of those people looked kind of female! and anyway..... two dudes on the loose at such short notice... I guess we could have gone to a bar.... no wait.. we did go to a bar... and they wouldn't let me in without my pants on! Oh and thanks Flirty. My memory must be playing tricks on me... but it's one in... all in at certain venues... lmfao.... And as for all the rest of you dirty fuckers... stop comparing notes or I will take my bat and ball and go home. Discretely yoursStalkyHugsStalkyOne in, all in ... hmm ... sounds like a lovely skin-fest to me! I will have you know that my notes show you consistently scoring ridiculously high Stalky. I would hereby encourage you to keep your bat and ball in a firm state of readiness. You just never know what might be behind you and nobody wants to play team sports with the guy that isn't prepared to be called up to the plate at a moment's notice!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Glad I made the pick, I'll see if any ladies wish to join me. I know a couple and I've seen the four pages of MEN wanting to go. Good lord you dont' want a sausage fest :P And you know C.I has been awesome and support of both Salina and I since we made our first scary steps there. ANyone whose single, lets goo :) Andy
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RHP User
15 years ago
I'm sure i've already responded to this, but perhaps it's been blocked. I was suggeting the single night sounds good. Okay I've posted up the new profile. I'll let you know if I've got any bites. Incedenlty I used up my five messages today to single girls of Brisbane. Two 'No's' and three no responses. I tried. I'm going out there and trying this out people ... so you don't have to. :) a
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RHP User
15 years ago
I totally missed the part where Andrew said I have less free time due to the kids etc....I read the draft for his profile too...that right there was the Andy having the best end of the deal :P Ahh well honey, I might have to call you up from time to time for some babysitting hehe. xx Salina
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hi Andy What is your age limit you are looking for ? I might be a little too old for you - but you sure are cute ! SS
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RHP User
15 years ago
You cant see all the girls that are coming due to guest members not being able to be seen registering Andy, so there will be no sausage fest..lol i have the list in admin and i can tell you it is a good one.Leesa
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well I'll never say never until I see some face photos mrs Skier. Couples, mark me down for attenting. Sounds like a hell of a night. I'm trying to convince Salina to go to your girls nights. We have a couple of friends who I'm sure would be interested in the training that you hold on some nights. Anyway, again I'll let you all know how i go. Andy
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RHP User
15 years ago
So I'm the kind of girl you are talking about.. How do you broach the subject with someone who may or may not know or accept what its all about? To me, it's all about honesty. I found out about this whole other world of open relationships and swinging through a male friend who offered the idea, and I then discussed it with another friend who I felt wouldn't judge me for being curious. Funnily enough, she knew all about it! I won't go into more details for privacy reasons, but I was given the information about it that I needed and just had to experience it. I couldn't wait to try it out! I was really excited about this whole other world that went on. I guess being a single girl who is very open minded means that it's easier for me to accept it. I was just really curious about how it all worked. And I haven't been disappointed. Previously, when with my last boyfriend of 4 years, I would not have ever thought about doing anything like this, getting into the swinging scene and open relationship. Yeah, I'd thought about bringing another female in but had trust issues with him (and I had every right to). So this whole concept of an open relationship meant nothing to me, and I probably wouldn't have wanted anything to do with it. Now that I'm single, my eyes are opened to how fulfilling life can be when you open your mind to new experiences. I've had only wonderful fun times in the past few months, and can't wait for more. There are some really great couples out there who are so admirable to me. The fact that they can share so much love together and be so comfortable in their relationships that they are allowed to share themselves and are ok with it 100% with complete honesty.. It amazes me :) I take my hat off to you all! So anyway, what I'm trying to say is, I believe complete honesty is the way to go.. IF you get the vibe that the single lady is open minded and won't judge. I guess go with your instincts on it, because they are usually right. I really think honesty is the best approach when it comes to open relationships and swinging. If you don't have honesty, things get messy.SexyCurvyBlonde xxx
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jigjam
15 years ago
swinging didnt work? You just didnt meet the right couples he he.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Donts get us wrong, swinging worked and still works as we still play as a couple. However, usually what happened is that I (andy) would be matched with a very sexy, lady whilst Salina had to contend with the husbands and their 'mushroom shaped dicks' . Usually they were much older than their wives or just not as attractive or more hairy/fatter. Swinging does work, just the mismatch of attractive and ugly couples seems to be universal. A
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'SalAndy' Donts get us wrong, swinging worked and still works as we still play as a couple. However, usually what happened is that I (andy) would be matched with a very sexy, lady whilst Salina had to contend with the husbands and their 'mushroom shaped dicks' . Usually they were much older than their wives or just not as attractive or more hairy/fatter. Swinging does work, just the mismatch of attractive and ugly couples seems to be universal. A Wow... this makes me wish I was an old, hairy, fat bloke with a mushroom shaped dick. They must get all the hot chicks
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Must be a man thing cause no women could be bothered with that! Or is that just me? I admit it...... I rarely go into the whole lets exchange a million emails, lets meet for coffee, blah blah. Let's just meet and bonk then we can re-assess the situation. Gawd I am a lazy tart! I'm late on this thread, but with you on this point Meeks! Why go to all that effort BEFORE meeting if there's no zing, no spark, no sensory overload?!Andy - your profile reads OK to me being your target (as in single and happy to get involved with, read shag, guys in open relationships). I know I'm not the norm but I also know there are more than me ou there.From my own point of view, I would much prefer it was all laid out on the table i.e. that you're in an open relationship before getting down to business. I like to have some kind of semblance of trust in the person I'm boffing. Also, if you neglect to mention you may find girls who say they're happy for the one off fuck but who may secretly desire something more permanent and ongoing. You could inadvertantly finding yourself hurting people even though you don't want to.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Sorry Lubeys4fun I only just read your comment. Why thank you. Although I am not sure if it is a good think or a bad thing really. Put it this way, I would never make it in politics and I suck at office politics because quite frankly I can't be bothered with the bullshit. I don't think I am always so direct though... lol ... usually I still try and be polite. Gawd imagine a world where you could really say what you thought. Oohh Yeah! Now that would be fun. :) xxMeekaQuoting 'lubeys4fun' WoW!! I love your spin on this thread. So rarely do you meet or hear of a woman who is straight to the point with no bullshit. You say what you mean and stand by it...Go girl!! Oh and I agree 100% with all your comments. I'm with you all the way. When ever I'm next in Sydney would you like to have a meeting of like-minded attitudes with myself?? Have fun & don't hold back....Love it S x
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Polar_Bear_Girl'I'm late on this thread, but with you on this point Meeks! Why go to all that effort BEFORE meeting if there's no zing, no spark, no sensory overload?! Exactly, I mean I am 40 already... not much rooting time left. Got make the most of it. xxMeeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
You don't want a woman to think you're single, because you're not. For fun times you are free, but if she gets attached it could really hurt the poor girl. If Sal is ok with having "the talk" with her then good idea. Tell her straight what the expectations/ rules you as a couple live by. Maybe she could pre- record something for chance meetings? (No idea if this would work or be a conversation starter, just a thought.) Sell it as, I'm so into you- no strings, I'm already emotionally involved elsewhere.(some woman like married men for that reason, and this way they don't have any need for guilt). Best of all go for girls that "get it". When I was in my late teens I was in a open relationship. I sat face to face with his would be lover and explained it to her. Sure you can play.. I REALLY don't mind...just as long as you know he's coming home to me. About three weeks later she was asking me to stop seeing him???!!! UM...H E L L O O?! WTF. In hindsight my problem was she was my age, and I was "ahead of my time" as far as open minded play goes. And My "boyfriend" was a lieing, manipulating tool who was too stupid to realise just how dam lucky he was. I was open and honest, he was not. Behind my back he was playing stupid games. IDIOT. (Sorry slightly off point). Point being you don't want to get things all over complex, it just gets messy and not fun at all. Be honest, upfront and Be prepared to prove what you mean. Being "single" is out, but simply starting with, "I'm not looking for a relationship, just some fun times." in a quickie situation might be a simple version if your not hoping for a friend with benefits. Happy hunting, keep it simple, light and fun...no point letting it take over your whole life.
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