How to get more messages.
May 07 2023
Are you frustrated with the lack of messages that you receive on this platform?
Do you wake up every morning and eagerly log on, only to find that your inbox is as empty as a political party’s commitment to a pre-election core promise?
Do you fervently yearn to see that little symbol appear on your message inbox icon, only to find yourself continually disappointed despite all your efforts, and your self esteem dropping as a consequence?
Yes? …. Then perhaps you should do what I do, and soon your inbox will be as chocka as the present ABC’s news coverage of anything remotely woke or left wing.
My secret to this incredible surge in my Pie messages?
Well! … Recently I decided to move all my online communication to the Pie, and I mean ALL of it.
As a result, if anyone wants to get in touch with me, or remind me to pay for things, or try to sell me stuff, or otherwise contact me for any reason… they now have to do it via RHP messaging.
No more emails, letters, or phone calls, just oodles and oodles of lovely private messages in my Pie Box!
Of course, some Financial Institutions , Government Departments, and various other individuals did take umbrage to this requirement at first (sorry Mum!), but after a while they got used to it, and now I believe they quite enjoy this new mode of communication.
And yes, this DID require them all to set up their own RHP profiles, which took some effort on their end, and the resultant profiles were a pretty mixed bag in terms of attractiveness I must say, but the upside for them is that no doubt they will also enjoying the experience and attention from fellow RHP members as well (particularly if their profiles are female).
Who knows, they may also be able to drum up some new Clients in the process, and meanwhile I get the warm fuzzy and extremely empowering benefit of having a shit load of messages in my inbox to ignore. .
I reckon it’s a win/win for all concerned.
Xx Obi1
Comments
Felicitous
a year ago
Bahahaha this made me laugh!
Brilliant as always 😂😉RHP User
a year ago
You’re an ideas man
Obi1kenietzsche
a year ago
It’s quite funny to see the profile names that all these Govt Department have now had to create in order to communicate with me.
For instance I know if it’s the ATO because I see “BendUover123” pop up in my inbox.
“Fleece_ya_sidewaze” is my bank of course, and the Department of Transport have a great profile called “DoggyAction69” (I always enjoy getting messages from THEM!).
😊
Obi1
Libertine001
a year ago
Are you hiding from the tax department?
That's one message that even on the pie wont get you hard...😂
Libertine
MsSuperFoxy
a year ago
If you get a message from Parliment House, it won't matter because we're all fucked!
The ATO might call your tatic, Self-depreciating.
You'll have to tell them about your assets. Are they temporarily or permanently restricted?
Technically, having sex with a person from this site would be a charitable gift.
As for the ATO profile name, let's just call it a loophole.
As for some profile names here, let's just say a little taxing on the brain.
Ms FoxyObi1kenietzsche
a year ago
The ATO’s profile is crap.
They didn’t fill in all the sections correctly (which is quite ironic), so I kept ignoring their messages. Eventually I had to send them a fine.MsSuperFoxy
a year ago
If you see RHPConjunctivitis101
It's just the Optometrists.
Now, that's a site for sore eyes.
Ms Foxy 🤣🤪
ElectricDreamers
a year ago
We get a lot of junk mail here already 😛
Obi1kenietzsche
a year ago
You forum-ite’s are such a funny and interesting bunch of characters!
👍👍😂😂.
Lullah
a year ago
Are you frustrated with the lack of messages that you receive on this platform?
Well Obi, for me at the ripe old age of 104.....
KarlRHP
a year ago
This is gold !!!! 🤣🤣🤣
On_Safari
a year ago
Oh how I miss you OB1 xx
MarioKartNChill
10 months ago
Not gonna lie, You had us in the first half...
CuffsNSatin
9 months ago
It’s been so long since I’ve ventured in the forums so decided to take a peek today and this is the first thing I saw.
Made my day! Thank you Obi1! I’ve missed reading your light hearted posts! 💕RHP User
6 months ago
Took me a while to get it, effing hilarious nonetheless!
EndlessSummer85
5 months ago
Yeah bro you are not alone this site is utter crap you get more action on a old dating app like Eharmony
MarioKartNChill
3 months ago
Not gonna lie, you had us in the first half. lol
Therockguy
3 months ago
Great advice, thank you.
I've just informed my local priest to setup an account on RHP so he can inform me when I can repent for all my sins
HairyToolBelt
23 days ago
haa Cobber. Thanks for writing this, as it has made me smile :)
Do you perform paid requests to write humorous profile bios...? ;)
LeeHarden
19 days ago
Any advice on how to get noticed here?
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