F51
How to find your perfect FWB match: Step by Step Guide for Dummies – Help wanted!
March 03 2011
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well meet them and fuck them. If you like it go back for more. Don't look for perfect - just look for some fun.xxMeeks
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RHP User
15 years ago
Really does not exist. Be upfront with what you are looking for. Remember that most of the men (and to be fair...women too) will lie to get what they want. Many people you will see 2 maybe 3 times and then they are on to the next conquest. The first few times this happens it is quite hard to take as it feels like you are constantly being dumped for someone new. I find that it helps to really get to know someone on line first. Especially if distance is a problem. Here too you will need to develop your own BS raidar. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A SAFETY PLAN IN ACTION BEFORE MEETING SOMEONE. There are plenty of nasty characters out there and a girl needs to be safe. What Meeka said. Just go in with an open mind and try to have fun. If you enjoy it...go back again...and again...and again.
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RHP User
15 years ago
When it comes to meet and greet nights...most people are single anyway. If it is that scary...grab another RHP member by the hand and go there together with the understanding that if anything happens...you are free to leave with someone else. These nights are a lot of fun and a great way of meeting all your fellow forum contributors
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RHP User
15 years ago
Lolz @ Meeka. That sounds like my kind of advice!! Fuck first and ask questions later!! Brilliant strategy! Gets all the nonsense out of the way! Hugs S
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RHP User
15 years ago
I wouldn't put it like that exactly ... You can talk to them first if you want BoobaliciousFG. Well I would probably recommend that you do - just so you know they are not some weirdo. And always ask to see some photos first up - particulary of the face. This will save you time. As for developing feelings for your FWB. I suppose it is all in the mind set. If you start off thinking that this is just some fun and not look at it as a potential relationship that helps at the out set. And why settle for one FWB. If you have more than one this will also ensure you don't fall in LURVE. But then again you just never know do you. Part of life - sometimes love will bite you on the bum whether you want it or not. Just go with the flow. xxMeeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
I guess I need to lighten up (or is that toughen up?) and try and remember that it isn't gonna roll perfectly with every person I meet on here! I guess my 10 year break outta the game has me pretty rusty and out of practice on what my mental approach needs to be, but then again this online way of meeting people is sooo foreign to me too. I am used to the in person thing where it is pretty easy to fuck first and ask questions later, as the chemistry assessment is established pretty quick, i think i may have it arse about then ?! I seem to try too hard to ‘know’ what the person is like before I meet them and through that i guess i accidently over commit myself? As one of my biggest fears is to meet someone and feel absolutely NO chemistry! AKWARD... or vice versa. Meet up for sex, then what, say, ‘I forgot i had an appointment and i have to run (although it is 10pm on a Sat...)!’ Plus, I reckon just meeting ‘for a drink’ would still have the undertone of sex will happen...unless one of us is grossed out?! That is why i wanted guidance, more i guess on how to avoid such things lol! So meet and greets might be an easier intro to FWBs for me after all...as it would be sooo much easier to assess what takes a bloody long time to do online, in just a few minutes (only a little bit of investment would be easier to say, ‘NEXT!’ to)! Then after more FWB practice I can try and get a handle of how to approach online meets. Now where is my Dutch courage (dad is Danish, and ma is Greek so i guess i don’t have any)!?? Bugger... P.S. I was all set to go to a meet and greet night in Dec, my new FWB at the time came over all dressed up and everything, but we sorta never got out the front door... d'oh!
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RHP User
15 years ago
It's a minefield out there and unfortunately, I suck at them with awesome precision and a very high success rate! *eyeroll* . Agree mostly with what's been said above, especially the "get sex out of the way very early" bit.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Why are all my FWB's so busy with work all the time. Too busy to fuck. COME ON PEOPLE !!! Life is too short and I would hate for you to be on your death bed one day regreting all those times you turned down sex!I mean how are is it to get a root these days. HeheheheheMeeks
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RHP User
15 years ago
See - I can't even spell "HARD" these days. It has been so long since I have seen one. Boo Hoo.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well where in sydney are you Meeka? Maybe I can help you there. heheWork can be as flexible as you make it.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I'm with you Meeka...how can you be too busy for fun? I'm happy to grab a quickie in my lunch break haha!The no chemistry on a first meet sucks, not sure how to guarantee it doesn't happen...maybe cam/chat? Definitely agree with getting sex out of the way first, just so you know if you want to continue the benefits part of the friendship My problem is finding reliable FWB's, that can be available when I am. Thinking of heading to CI, at least then I know I can have no strings sex every week...although a little daunting turning up alone lol!If anyone knows where I can find my Ashton Kutcher (from No Strings Attached before he falls in love!) give me a yell! Maybe my expectations are too high
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'See - I can't even spell "HARD" these days. It has been so long since I have seen one. Boo Hoo. Now, now...I am sure your luck with change, Meeka. Keep a positive attitude, and keep working "are" on your spelling and the lads will be lining up in no time. Haha. I actually feel your pain, as I have had a bit of a dry spell as well. We should start a club...
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RHP User
15 years ago
Tend to agree a lot of people's expectations for a FWB 'can be' way too high. If you're going into something with no intent of allowing feelings to develop, and its purely about sex, then having the same criteria as you would for a long term partner seems unrealistic. Honesty is also key, and also sadly lacking I find. If FWB is what you want, great, if tis more, great, say so up front. We're all adults here and some of the games and being told what people think you want to hear instead of the up front truth gets old after a while. Sure, its not a relationship, but given we're engaging in sexual acts it all requires a degree of trust in place. Feelings - we're human, we pair bond, we do all these things and getting sexually involved with someone if its an honest open and fun situation, you're going to develop feelings no matter how hard you try not to. The only ones i've found who remain cold are those with some form of personality disorder..and no that's not a joke. Allowing feelings to develop may not necessarily be a bad thing but it takes the courage to communicate that with someone when it occurs as it obviuosly changes the dynamic of the situation. Communication - goes up there with honesty and trust, and is also sadly lacking.. if you're seeing 2 or 3 people at once, be honest. No one other than you yourself has the right to judge what you do. If they respond negatively, thats their issue. Not yours. But, it also allows people to make a choice for themselves. Some may want a FWB but one on one. Some may want more. Each to their own. I've unfortunately encountered a few who'll say 'one on one' when they mean 'one on one with a different person each night of the week'..FWB requires some boldness and courage to be honest about what you're doing and allow others to make choices for themselves. As for finding people who suit your timetable and work etc, well, get real, people have to work, have lives etc. Either learn to compromise and work together so you both get what you want, and go elsewhere for what you want. Simple really! I'd love to find a gal FWB who's into the same things I am who's available evenings, honest open kinky etc.. ha... maybe i'll find the Easter Bunny first!
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RHP User
15 years ago
I must say Boob you certainly bring a lot of stuff to the table, lots of analysis and deliberation, but the most striking thing about your wordy post is that you're very amusing in the way you write. I found your satire bloody hilarious and burst into laughter at least 3 times. That's gotta be worth something to a prospective f.w.b! My comment about your query - Its so hard to meet anyone here, regardless of authenticity. I just come here to the forums for amusement and to be a nuisance generally. You amused me so I've had my fix for today. Thanks. P.s. I doubt this message will even be read, several days old posts are like last months rotting cabbage. . Gee! it's so quiet in here....ECHO...echo.....echo
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RHP User
15 years ago
LOL! Well it did take me 5 days to realise my first Forum topic was even up and that was only because someone mentioned seeing it! I was relying on my home page or stat’s page for notification, but no joy there?! The same day i posted 2 erotic stories and they just seemed to have disappeared into the ether? Thank you Tony Erotic :) I did manage to find my way back here looking for that taboo topic of ‘being licked out’ or something equally as crass which i am sure was worded that way on purpose for a reaction, and people bit, funny thou hehe I am now taking a little break from trying to meet people, and instead switching it up and taking time to enjoy the forums for a bit. I have noticed you pop up here and there too in my short forum frenzy, and yes you like to stir the pot, it gets boring if everyone is all i agree ALL the time, zzzzz Good onya! We all love to get people hot on here, even if it isn’t the hot they were expecting
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RHP User
15 years ago
Yes indeed Booba people seek a world of agreement with terms of: "Oh I know" and "Isn't it awfull". I prefer a world of surprise with expletives: "Get the fuck out of here" and "Un-befuckin-lievable" and "Naked Arse!". . I personally don't go out my way to meet RHPers in person, but if the mind-set is there, it has happened on occasion. I goof-off at members who dread being found out they frequent RHP, their 'Naughty side is a secret". I could'nt care less if everyone knows, it's not like you've been caught tampering with the elderly or picking a tasty nose-goblin and eating it. . The name 'RedhotPie' is misleading, should really be 'PinkwarmPussy' or 'PurpleSteamingPenis' dot cum dot all over you. . Expectation not met = Upset, and I hear lots of frustration and disappointment from upset RHPers about things going wrong or not at all. I think one has to lower ones expectations on here and avoid so much upset. You have the talent to be Journalist Booba, maybe you are? I have the talent of a chimpanzee wearing banana aftershave.
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