F60
How honest are you?
April 03 2012
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
Still, I think you're questions are rhetorical and more a verbilization of the offence you feel. "Is it because it makes you feel superior"? You knew the answer to all your questions before sitting down to your keyboard. Unfortunately, there are many people out there (and in here) who are aware of their own shortcomings but are in denial about them at the same time because they can not come to terms with their own inadiquacies. These people are often hghly critical of others. In their mind, if they can bring down another, they are raising themselves above them. These people should be pitied and not taken too seriously. This is a little off subject but I'm a bit of a movie buff and this topic has brought to mind a very old movie, the central theme of which presents this mind set perfectly. A bit of light entertainment may lift your mood. Its called, "People Will Talk" (1951). If you get the chance, check it out.
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RHP User
14 years ago
VikingBitch, I don't know what exactly you are referring to but I like to keep in mind that there are always two sides to every story. And sometimes people pass things on and without even realizing it they have put their own spin on the story. I like to always be honest, but I definitley think politeness and social conventions hold me back from saying exactly what I think on a lot of occasions. I admire people who can say exactly what they think without fear of pissing people off. Nope, it's not right to ridicule anyone under any circumstances. But then again I think some people use their "disabilities" or their life experiences as an excuse to act in any way they like. Which is not right either. But I digress as that wasn't your question. xx Meeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
A toxic combination of jealousy and low self esteem perhaps....gossip can be contagious,good for you that you didn't engage in the trashing game,which perhaps was what the gossiper hoped you would do. Peoples lives can be destroyed by gossip and once started gossip often has a life of its own.
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RHP User
14 years ago
To answer your questions without knowing the details 1. Personally I don't derive any pleasure out of it, I will have a rant and rave if something pisses me off though. 2. There are no valid reasons for a persons behavior, only excuses and effects of said behaviour. 3. Ummmm by putting this here is kind of the same thing don't you think? You could always email them instead. But anyway to answer, I would always say exactly the same to a persons face as I would say about them. :) fraps n hugs DGT
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RHP User
14 years ago
...that this thread is as direct as the other that went 404 and out the door. Some things are best left lay where you found them...there is a reason that I don't hang my laundry out to dry in the front of my house rather than the back where no one can see it on the line. | I never get mad, but I occasionally get even...sometimes, more even but always out of the public eye. Like the Russian proverb, serve it unexpected quietly on a cold plate. | Good luck....I can see the Apaches on the skyline yet again.
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RHP User
14 years ago
You could very well be right, after all, who am I to play conscience to anyone? But I don't feel its right to sit back and say nothing either. Too often that happens and perpetrators get away with their actions simply because one person didn't stand up and tell them it was wrong. Is there something wrong with asking people to look at themselves and their behaviour? After all, I note that when I am in error, there are many who are not slow to point it out.I wish I could plot revenge, but I'm not that sort of person. If I've been wrong to post here, then ok, mea culpa, I've become rather good at accepting the blame for speaking out of turn. But in asking these questions, perhaps just perhaps, it might make one person pause before hitting the enter key, and that could make the world of difference to another.Viking
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RHP User
14 years ago
I have seen the gossip mongers, the people who start on others( one can only imagine their low sellf esteem) It is mostly always the same ones who create these dramas. I think they really need to get a real life, and think about the others they are hurting in the process. All I can say is i feel sorry for these people and they obviously arent happy within themselves hence their attacking, starting rumours, and looking for attention. Personally i think the moderators should actually sit in the chat rooms and see what goes on.. xxTRIPSxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
I get what you are saying.... people do say the wrong things here.... in thoughtless and callous ways ..... the 'anonymity' of cyber space gives some that little bit of courage that they lack in face to face confrontations......
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RHP User
14 years ago
...it was just a suggestion of course. | Quoting 'VikingBitch' ... it might make one person pause before hitting the enter key, and that could make the world of difference to another. And if you could do that, change the world a little bit even one person at a time...you have done well. It only takes a moment to glance around at those who's ambiguous and incessant cynical remarks that are thinly veiled insults in the mask of innuendo lack the courage to address anyone directly. We can only hope...and even if all it does is help you feel better, well done. | All the best....keep smiling.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Are we talking about online behaviour here? I thought the offense occured offline and our discussion was about people everywhere, offline, online, life in general.
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RHP User
14 years ago
"How honest are you?" Completely. Do you believe me?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'jensman1903' "How honest are you?" Completely. Do you believe me?i wonder....and i could be very wrong here..... could the title be an invitation for someone to 'fess up to saying something inappropriate?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Please explain....I am lost
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RHP User
14 years ago
I don't know Jensman, perhaps there is a hidden agenda here? Not sure. You know, this is probably not the best place to be totally honest and most people are not interested in the mind games that go on in this forum. MrsP I have had a gutful too. Believe me. Meeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Hesione'Please explain....I am lost you're lost?...... i'm completely clueless....lol
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RHP User
14 years ago
...there was a bit of confusion albeit I think the OP caught it from the start. Some things are easy to spot...almost as transparent as date and time stamps on pictures, use of grammar, punctuation, appearance of certain posters et all. | Agree..and don't know about a gut full Meeka... | Quoting 'Meeka100'MrsP I have had a gutful too. Believe me. | ...but you sure do have your Bunny Butt full. | That's not your Eater Bunny license plate........is it?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sorry i have no answers , i just have more questions....Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but have to check when you say the paint is wet?Why can pizza get to your house before the police canWhy is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?I used to wonder why we think faster than we speak. It is probably so we can think twice.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Viking is right as usual, iffa ya got nothing nice ta say then shut yer trap. me mother taught me well peoples, ahahahaahahahahahahaha
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RHP User
14 years ago
Earl out
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RHP User
14 years ago
"Never never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way" Martin Luther King Jr.I could tell you all the story behind this post, but it can't change anything. All I can do is ask that you be aware of the harm you may do, intentionally or unintentionally. It saddens me to think that people are changing at such a rate that they don't care what they say or do anymore. Self control was once a regular thing, but now, as long as I don't have to say what I want to say directly to the person who is peeving me and therefore be accountable to that person, then I can say whatever I like. Given that so much of our communication is done on the internet these days, and we are exposed to others with whom we would normally not associate, it is a greater test of our self control not to slip into a more base way of being.I am aware that in posting this subject I may be being thought of in less than complimentary terms, but that's ok because anyone who has read this topic has the right of reply, and that's how it should be. Regardless of whether you think I am talking out of my bottom ( a common thought) or you agree, or perhaps, this subject relates to you in some way, I am comfortable in knowing that I didn't just sit by and watch. Thank you to all who responded, at least you took time out of your day to pause and think, even if just for a moment.Viking
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RHP User
14 years ago
Not always no. Why would I be completely honest and open with a nameless, faceless bunch of people in an on line forum? I have been known to hold my tongue when convention dictates it but I am normally up front, in your face and very direct. I do have tact and diplomacy but I prefer not to suffer fools and the babblings of them. Therefore I will hit the enter key on exactly the same diatribe that I would say to your face. People pass on all sorts of information, recieve words second hand and unless you are actually there...having the conversation, witnessing the act, you can not say for sure that the information you have recieved is correct. On the other hand, groups of friends may get together and mull over a situation to see if the collective group can find a reasonable answer. This is not gossip at all. It is just a case of many heads being better than one. One person in the group may have a different take on a particular situation that the others dont. Sharing of information is good unless the mob mentality prevails. There is no reason for poor behaviour, as an adult, I agree with DGT. There are only excuses.
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RHP User
14 years ago
after sitting back and seeing a couple of the comments in here ,,,,,,,,,id have to laugh ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i was in the wa chat room the other night ,,,,,,,,,,,when someone made a very rude comment about people going thru sex changes ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,as the only transexual in the room at the time ,,,i felt the comment was directed at myself ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,im sure the person responsible will read this and know who they are ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,why make a comment like that based on heresay ,,and esspecially towards someone youv never met in person ,,,,,,,,,,presuming off course that it was directed at myself ,,,,,,,,,,,,seems a lot of facebook gossip gets aired in the chat rooms and forums here on rhp ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,if im wrong ,,,,,i appoligise ,,,,,,,,,,,,,
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RHP User
14 years ago
Tall Poppy Syndrome............and Foot in Mouth Disease.Something that needs to be re learned and challenged by others to better our society IMOCass xxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
1. Why do people get pleasure out of running someone down. A. They are unhappy and miserable in their own life therefore take joy out of hurting other people2. If you know there is a valid for a person's behaviour, why do you ridicule them anyway? Is it because it makes you feel superior?A. It makes them feel superior on the outside though on the inside they know they are doing wrong they are being judgemental and thats just plain wrong. They don't care about you or the other person. For them it's about making themselves feel better.3. Why voice your thoughts where the person can't defend themself?A. COWARDSMy advice to you is get rid of that person out your life. xxxx B
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RHP User
14 years ago
If someone had upset me as much as you appear to have been upset, then I would confront them directly.All I see is someone being vague & passive aggressive without any context. Obviously you're trying to prod someone into doing something, but the whole thing is clouded by ambiguous wording and intent.To answer your original questions1) This I'm unsure of. I think it comes down to a variety of things, a need to be admired/liked/adored or to control a situation?2) Now this I may disagree with you on. If someone is behaving like a prat, no matter the reason, they deserve to be ridiculed! If a person behaves badly they should own that behaviour and not blame any external/internal processes. For example I can be a right bitch when I my period is about to start and I should avoid forums and intense conversations at those times because my ability to be impartial and to approach a subject even-handedly (which is generally one of my strong points) goes out the window. If I hurt or upset someone then I own my behaviour and apologise for it. Actually, I'm struggling to think of an acceptable reason why a person would behave badly repeatedly. Even my schizo friend and my bipolar mother do not behave badly often, and sometimes their grip on reality is tenuous. Maybe the only thing I can think of would be someone who was undergoing severe emotional trauma and was acting out? I can't imagine knowing someone going through that and not helping them, however I'd still call them on their bad behaviour.3) Hmmm, if I think someone is a nasty vindictive piece of work I'm going to avoid having anything to do with them. If thrust in social/professional situations then I would be civil and polite and that's it. That won't stop me having a vent/bitch about them with my friends! In fact, it would probably be safer that way for me because if someone really is vindictive and nasty I'm not going to put myself in any type of danger telling them about it. That's one extreme example.Another example, I have a dear friend who I love dearly. She has a couple of little inconsequential habits that drive me fucking nuts! I'm not going to vent at her about them and potentially damage a friendship. I will however have a whinge with people who don't know her just to get the frustration off my chest. It doesn't mean I love her any less, it just means I'm venting my own inability to process the situation acceptably.People get so upset about "talking behind" someone's back and bitching. The reality is, everyone does it. Someone had a bitch to you and upset you, and here you are making a post on an adult site forum about it. What needs to be determined is the intent behind said bitching. Is it venting from frustration or anger? Is it just plain manipulative and nasty? Does it spring from a place of hurt, or humour? People are just people. Some are just prats. Quoting 'VikingBitch' You could very well be right, after all, who am I to play conscience to anyone? But I don't feel its right to sit back and say nothing either. Too often that happens and perpetrators get away with their actions simply because one person didn't stand up and tell them it was wrong. Is there something wrong with asking people to look at themselves and their behaviour? After all, I note that when I am in error, there are many who are not slow to point it out.I wish I could plot revenge, but I'm not that sort of person. If I've been wrong to post here, then ok, mea culpa, I've become rather good at accepting the blame for speaking out of turn. But in asking these questions, perhaps just perhaps, it might make one person pause before hitting the enter key, and that could make the world of difference to another.Viking
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RHP User
14 years ago
Really, if its online stuff, then its pathetic to let it affect you. Seek help, do not pass go. Turn of your computer and live your life. The addiction of computer interaction, can fuck up a persons life if they buy into the utter crap. Yes its nice to have an opinion about a subject, its interesting, for some its just a sharp quip Its nothing more than a pingpong cyber game. Its not the Olympics of cerebral debate This is not the science show, though at times it seems like some experiment gone wrong If no body gossips about me then I make some up, pass it along The loudest whisper in the world is gossip. And it only affects you if you let it. Your family, your friends, your life off-line is what can affect you as it should with all human interaction. Online, ohhhhhhhhhhh please, suck it up. Here is ya cyber tissue This is not directed to the OP at all its just my three bobs worth of care factor wisdom.
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RHP User
14 years ago
every body thinks they have a good bead on things and can make the power play with little thought for other.... Would you have me me tie em up in knots for u darl's...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Did it occur to you VB that the person that past this information to you did so because a) they know u have a kind heart and will take it on board?b) they obviously like to stir the pot! (not the first time)c) doesnt have the balls to speak up themselves.U cant, and shouldnt feel obligated to be everyones protector.hugs xx
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RHP User
14 years ago
i thought the comment was at me and my 10" strap on I threatened them with.....geeze there is just no pleasing some people hey hun... xxx Quoting 'catherine_ts' after sitting back and seeing a couple of the comments in here ,,,,,,,,,id have to laugh ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i was in the wa chat room the other night ,,,,,,,,,,,when someone made a very rude comment about people going thru sex changes ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,as the only transexual in the room at the time ,,,i felt the comment was directed at myself ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,im sure the person responsible will read this and know who they are ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,why make a comment like that based on heresay ,,and esspecially towards someone youv never met in person ,,,,,,,,,,presuming off course that it was directed at myself ,,,,,,,,,,,,seems a lot of facebook gossip gets aired in the chat rooms and forums here on rhp ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,if im wrong ,,,,,i appoligise ,,,,,,,,,,,,,
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'tuscanred'if i have to .....SLAP!Geezuz woman you know this is the real world and im an innocent bystander
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'I don't know Jensman, perhaps there is a hidden agenda here? Not sure. You know, this is probably not the best place to be totally honest and most people are not interested in the mind games that go on in this forum. MrsP I have had a gutful too. Believe me. MeekaI can't see any harm in being completely honest here. The anonymity one enjoys online means lying is unnecessary. Sure, if you're role playing, honesty is unnecessary but acting is not lying so all good.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'inspirit' Quoting 'tuscanred' if i have to .....SLAP!Geezuz woman you know this is the real world and im an innocent bystander now thats a paradox you and innocence ? nahhhhh lol not a hope in hell.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I have had someone whom I thought was a friend talk to all and sundry asking stupid questions behind my back instead of simply asking me what she wanted to know.The result was that several people treated me like shit until we sorted it out. Moral - ask a simple question to their face FIRST. In the meantime have some respect and keep your mouth shut.I was recently involved in an online stoush with a couple of people who went out of their way to try and put me out of business. They did it the same way you have VB, by putting a post on a forum and telling everyone they had information on someone and why did people...etc. Instead of a private phone call or private message in the first instance which would have put the whole thing to bed in 5 minutes, they ended up broadcasting personal and private information which has now resulted in the loss of my primary income. Their behaviour was immature and out of character and there is NO reason for it other than obvious dislike.What is your reason VB? You ask why do people voice their thoughts when the other person cannot defend themselves and here you are on the forums doing the same thing.
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RHP User
14 years ago
You ask the person VB. Have to agree with MistressT.. Sometimes on forums someone gives a half hearted enuendo( think I stuffed that spelling ) of an occurence, others come on knowing some of the story,other hapless souls give there take ontitle realising that theres more to story then first let on.. finally the person the OP is alluding to cracks it and gives "there" side.. meanwhile most of us plebs sit there going WT??
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RHP User
14 years ago
that's how you spell it ;)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Is that what you wer trying to say?
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RHP User
14 years ago
They are gutless wonder as they don’t have the guts to say it to someone’s face.....
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RHP User
14 years ago
I'm always upfront & honest. Lots of guys have issues with this though. I'm not nasty or insulting. I just know what I want. We get to a certain age & we all have baggage from past relationships, doesn't mean the next person is going to be the same as the last but on the same note?..... I am grateful from hearing my last partners ex. Sometimes there is a reason why ppl are Humpty Dumpties. A reason why they have AVO's, I didn't just take her word for it & checked myself.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Hesione' A toxic combination of jealousy and low self esteem perhaps....gossip can be contagious,good for you that you didn't engage in the trashing game,which perhaps was what the gossiper hoped you would do. Peoples lives can be destroyed by gossip and once started gossip often has a life of its own. I couln't have said it any better. Having been on the recieving end of gossip, I can only comment that "trash" is probably too kind a word. Personally I consider honesty as the basic foundation.
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RHP User
14 years ago
That's much more direct than playing around with useless innuendo and suggestive soliloquies. | I'm not sure...but I think that's a main at the new Sri Lankan restaurant here in Melbourne too. | Oh well....just eat it.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Where does the honesty start, just little fibs to some are hurtfull to others.On here people say in their profiles honest and up front, but in fact they lie about there ages and other things so arn't they hypercritical and not at all honest. Lies are allways found out
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RHP User
14 years ago
Update about how honest am I?.....I'm too honest it seems. Unfortunately it seems do have destroyed a friendship I treasured. All because I expected honesty in return.xxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
I've had something unsavoury passed along to me about someone I know. Its not going to wreak a relationship but it is hurtful. My questions are:1. Why do people get pleasure out of running someone down. 2. If you know there is a valid for a person's behaviour, why do you ridicule them anyway? Is it because it makes you feel superior?3. Why voice your thoughts where the person can't defend themself?I'm just disgusted.VikingOk...question.Was what you were told a lie? or true?If it was true, why are you upset that you were told?It should only be a problem if you then judge the person on what you've been told.Sometimes people say things as observations but they are taken as judgements.Sometimes people really ARE wankers and others are more than happy to say so.And sometimes, you need to censor yourself to those that tell you stories"those who gossip TO you...will gossip OF you."I think if people owned their behaviour...they wouldnt care what stories were told about them.I only get upset if whats being said is untrue.JMO...BJ
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RHP User
14 years ago
so someone came to you after either earwigging in on a conversation or partisapating on a conversation about a friend of yours?? so they have came running back to tell all the juicey details about what was said?? isnt that how gossip is passed on? so the go between is just a trouble causing gossip as far as im concerned yeah sure no one should be talking about anyone behind there back but we all do it....maybe whoever was saying whatever was said was just letting off steam as far as im concerned the one that you should be pissed off at is the one that came running to you...they were the one gossiping and causing trouble hugs
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'WantedBabyDaddy' so someone came to you after either earwigging in on a conversation or partisapating on a conversation about a friend of yours?? so they have came running back to tell all the juicey details about what was said?? isnt that how gossip is passed on? so the go between is just a trouble causing gossip as far as im concerned yeah sure no one should be talking about anyone behind there back but we all do it....maybe whoever was saying whatever was said was just letting off steam as far as im concerned the one that you should be pissed off at is the one that came running to you...they were the one gossiping and causing trouble hugs I LIKE TA CAUSE GOSSIP BOUT MESELF A: CAUSE I DON'T GIVE A RATTS FANDANGO AN B: CAUSE IT A SHIT LOAD OF FUN BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA Earl
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