M59 F62
How do you let someone down gently?
June 08 2010
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hmm, I think you know then and there if you're going to play again. I see no problems with a message the following day saying thanks, and it's only polite to respond saying had fun. No need to inlcude the "Hope to do it again" if you don't want to do it again.Whatever you do, if you have no intentions of playing again do NOT say or intimate that you're looking forward to round 2. There's no need for it, and it's confusing, especially if the other person had fun playing with you and is open for another go.With RHP I just assume that, if it's not specifically mentioned, encounters are just one-offs.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Thank you Mrs P...I was a bit shy to post my own forum...I am an" own forum post" virgin...so want to ease into it...but thank you for posting ..it is a question that has been bugging me for ages...purely because ive never had to do it...and would like to know how to...as i hate hurting peoples feelings...its really important to me that all of us realise our unique qualities...and believe there is enough negativity in the world already that i dont want to start spreading more.. Mr Shy and I, being so new have not had to let anyone down gently as we havent met many people....lol...but also have not been let down yet either...so...just want to know how to do it...as ive also read many comments about meeting once and then never again.. so yes i would also like to know how to let down gently Mrs Shy xxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Is there really a way to let someone down gently? I'm not so sure of this. Because if you were into them or they were'nt into you or vice versa the ego always gets in the way. When I have told guys that I am not interested in seeing them again I usually get a flurry of abuse or told that they were not attracted to me anyway and just wanted a root. The ego is a funny thing. I suggest just being honest by saying "I had fun and it was nice meeting you, but I didn't feel a real connection". If they do attack you back...it is about them and their ego, not you as a person. Noone in the end really wants to hurt anyone and I think the easiest way out for most is to just ignore them and hope they get the hint without really having to say it. Also would like to say welcome Mr & Mrs Shy to the Forums. xFunlovingx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Wow, perhaps this is also my naivety being that mr shy and I are so new ourselves...but...we didnt realise that a play meet was automatically assumed as a one off...but come to think of it...of course it would be...wow...ive learned something today actually...and will do as PBG advised...and take things as they come perhaps...mr shy and I have a pretty full proof system...if anyone can get past my incessive chatting and asking the trillion questions i do to feel comfy with them...then we will move to a meet...hahaha. This appears to weed out people who cannot be bothered listening to my bull crap...hahaha. Mrs Shy xxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'shycouple11' Wow, perhaps this is also my naivety being that mr shy and I are so new ourselves...but...we didnt realise that a play meet was automatically assumed as a one off...but come to think of it...of course it would be...wow...ive learned something today actually...and will do as PBG advised...and take things as they come perhaps...mr shy and I have a pretty full proof system...if anyone can get past my incessive chatting and asking the trillion questions i do to feel comfy with them...then we will move to a meet...hahaha. This appears to weed out people who cannot be bothered listening to my bull crap...hahaha. Mrs Shy xxxx Meets don't have to be one off, their are many who make regulars. As for the bull crap, you are in interesting person to chat with, and yes if they can't handle it then, NEXT
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RHP User
16 years ago
Honestly I think just being upfront is the best idea.. Just because we share something by being on this site, does not automatically make us all compatible.. I say, and this is also what I would prefer is a simple, you're nice but not what we are looking for.. Didnt quite click the way we hoped.. Wish you well and have fun! Thanks for your time.. At the end of the day.. you're not there waiting for someone to contact you.. You know..
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hi Funloving and The Gardener....thank you for the welcome. yes I am somewhat addicted to the forums now...isnt it funny where life takes you. Yes, perhaps you are right funloving...there really isnt a gentle way and i hope i am never the kiind who lets the ego get in the way. BUt i really appreciate the comments, it really helps me. THanks for the compliment Gardener....yes...perhaps you are right...next... Mrs Shy xxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
to acknowledge the time spent together, and if there is going to be a round 2, to say so. At the same time, you need to also be clear, open and honest about it if you don't think there will be a round 2. If you can't do it there and then at the end of round 1, then do it as soon as you can, preferably "face to face" well IM then... email can come across wrong :-( I've had situation where I did have a good time with a lady, but then on later reflection, figured out there was "something missing..." - it's only fair to try to communicate that to them if that is the case. I've never been abusive, and would never expect the lady to be either - we are after all adults aren't we? hugs Wayne
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RHP User
16 years ago
Better communication is something we all could use some improvement in....Oh, and here's a tip - even if the person says they would rather someone "tells it like it is", apparently that's not an invitation to be completely up front once you realise there's no mutual attraction (before playing, that is), and give a simple "sorry, we're not interested"...turns out that you even have to dress up let downs for up front people as well...
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RHP User
16 years ago
just do what everybody else does and dont worry about it just walk off, bye and never contact them again thats what other people do...sure you get all of us whinging about but who gives a fuck really roxxy
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RHP User
16 years ago
of the rope as you lower them from your window...it's a long fall and you don;t want to bruise their tush now, do you?...whoever invented the saying..."sometimes you have to be cruel to be nice"...should be given a good kick up the "aunty mary"...though, tis better to be cruel (?) and say "nup, no thanks" than to string someone along...cheersjose...
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