F58
How do u get past the fear than the man ur meeting will want to run the other direction?
July 08 2012
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
It sounds like you may be lacking some confidence in yourself, did you ever stop to think that hang on YOU have the choice and instead of fearing what this guy is going to think why not turn it around and think to yourself it's upto you whether you like him or not! ask yourself FIRST before wondering if your going to please them or not perhaps you developed this fear from a bad run in men and uve picked the wrong ones in the past..
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RHP User
13 years ago
Shouldn't be an issue if your photos are you, and are recent (and not photoshopped professional glamour portraits). The gents can see what you look like and have already agreed to meet up based on your photos. If you're using photos they don't exactly represent what you look like in person - then you could be in trouble!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Men will generally have as many insecurities as you do, don't sweat it. Just be yourself, smile and enjoy and if a guy finds you're not what he is after then no big deal. Only a real cockhead is going to be impolite or do a runner so if one does you'v dodged a bullet because you wouldn't want to spend time with him anyway. Just remember to do things on your terms.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Women are so hard on themselves. Some men like us lush and curved , some like us thin some love big bushes of pubs Men have a variety of taste and when they are hard they tend not to see your lumps or bumps , what the do see is your pleasure in what they give you. Lusty confident women turn men on, Men tend not to notice the details of your saggy tits or what other flaws you think you have. Pin your ears back and enjoy, but a word of caution For a lot of men its just pure animal sex, if your vulnerable or think something else my come of it then do not think RHP will get you a man It may, but that is rare It will get you laid and as many times as you like. It can make you feel good about yourself, very sexy and desired. but It can also make you feel less of a woman if you can,t deal with me fucking you and then not talking to you again, or getting you to suck their cock and then zipping up. It comes with the territory. A hard dick is like a charging Rhino, it cant see to much
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RHP User
13 years ago
re Pubic Hair or Pubs just depends on the mood...............spell check is my friend if I use the darn thing!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Aslightly dangerous practice to show your pubic hair in pubs,all those beer goggles Tuscan,charging rhinos aint got nothin on what would happen to her then...although it might be ok if it was just one man and he was under the table ...might be quite erotic really...always quite liked the idea of thatx Hesione commando
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RHP User
13 years ago
Tuscan Red, brilliant as ever, I agree wiht the ladies above. You just have to love yourself and then getting laid is easy. There's being careful and thoughtful mand then there is overcompicating it. Somewhere in between is about right. And just be aware that guys here think you are a super model when they first message you and then if you reject them they can at times tell you all sorts of things to deflect their insecurities about themselves onto you....What out for those ones, just had once of those nitwits who is new to the site and wants to "Collar" his women folk off this site, loved me up til I said no, and reminded him I have my own property, then suddenly I was ugly. Here as with everyhwere else in society you will find the good, the bad and the down right insecure.... So, enjoy. And learn to use that litle button called "Block" so to avoid becoming defleated when your polite decline gets fireballs in retaliation.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Hesione'Aslightly dangerous practice to show your pubic hair in pubs,all those beer goggles Tuscan,charging rhinos aint got nothin on what would happen to her then...although it might be ok if it was just one man and he was under the table ...might be quite erotic really...always quite liked the idea of thatx Hesione commando Yeah a long table cloth A man down under Its dinner at the Y
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RHP User
13 years ago
You have to make a choice (an affirmation if you will) to take the next step and actually go and meet them, it's your fail safes in your head (not that I'm saying your a crackpot or anything) giving you a million reason not too proceed ... just be confident in yourself.Your thinking there's something wrong with you when there isn't, your not a lady fairy new to the singles scene or a lady who was in a prior long term relationship your an attractive 44 yr woman wanting to meet people ... anyway if they run the other way just hit up someone else where you are you actually have a great pick up line .... " Hi" "My date ran away when they saw me" .... "I was planing too bang them tonight" ... "Care for a drink"that'll work
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RHP User
13 years ago
Do you send them a recent pic of yourself or cam before you meet to see what each other looks like? If you have given them access to either...then I don't see the problem! They are wanting to meet you knowing what you look like! If you are sending old pics, then, I would say that honesty is the best policy and no wonder you feel nervous! Hugs...xFunlovingx
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RHP User
13 years ago
Strangely enough, self confidence (without tipping over into arrogance - humour is the difference in my opinion) is very, very attractive. Fake it until you make it - viz. of course this person will find me attractive, because I am. This is often very hard to institute if you have emerged, battered and bruised, from a controlling relationship, where the put down is your norm. Eventually, if you find people warming to you quickly at a meeting, the "make it" part will come.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Ahhhhhhh hahahahaha. Remember this well - believe it or not, men have the same problems when first starting datingImagine you are about to get up on the dance floor. Thinking that you really don't want to be first, because everybody else will be watching you and maybe laughing at your dance moves.Think about it. Everybody has exactly the same fears. EXACTLY! This realisation is quite liberating.Men have a special measuring device that lets you know if they appreciate what they are seeing. Pay close attention to the measuring device, lavish attention upon it and it may even appreciate you even more
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RHP User
13 years ago
Think of meeting someone new as meeting a new friend instead of a potential hook-up/relationship or whatever. Go out for coffee/drinks/dinner etc as if you are going out with a mate. When I was single, I used to go for coffee/drinks at a laid-back place in the afternoon, close to restaurants/bars so if you clicked you could extend it to dinner (or more :P). I'd wear something I felt sexy in (but that wasn't too revealing) so I felt comfortable and just enjoyed the new company. Not all the people you meet will "click" with you and that's ok, accept the fact that it could take a few people before finding someone who's the right fit (whether it's a casual thing or more serious). I found that really helped with my confidence because it took a lot of the perceived pressure off and allowed me to enjoy myself (and a woman having fun is sexy!). It worked for me anyways :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
I'd like to say a huge thank you to everyone who contributed a thought or piece of advice on my Topic! It has been wonderful to read ur thoughts and I feel I now understand that I HAVE in fact been VERY hard on myself in the past. I guess being that I'm now in my forties and not exactly feeling the most confident about that fact in itself, I fell into the trap of expecting rejection everywhere I went. That is now OVER, thanks to you guys, so a BIG PAT ON THE BACK to you all from me. Yes. my profile pics are really me, taken within the last couple of months, and not photoshopped, (don't see the point) lol. MissOpenMinded, you are certainly one altogether lady at just 24, thank you so much. Woohoo! I'm gonna like me from now on, lol xxx
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RHP User
13 years ago
you get a fair bit about people from they way they chat to you. do it a few times over a week or so. build a little tension and expectation..if they are not this patient, you've just filtered out a zero. move on to the next. there's plenty to go around..talk about normal stuff as well as some sexy stuff. this will give you a feel for the other person. after this appearances mean a lot less.besides, no one i've ever met looked anything like i expected after seeing their pictures.. LOL
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hate to rain on anyones parade, but I totally can relate to where the OPs head is at...although Im glad to see shes had a great rethink thanks to the lovely supportive posts she has received...you go girl !!! But rejection still hurts..especially when you dont understand it.. Ive been chatting to a lovely guy over the last few days..he sounded perfect and wonderful...ticking all the boxes..all was great.. Tonite he asked would I like to meet up for a drink..I said yes...he said shall we exchange pics or shall we just meet up...? ..now anyone looking at my profile will see theres a great deal of me on there pic wise.....its not like theres any big surprise....and I am totally honest in my profile...and my pics are only 6 months old (thanks Tuscan Red) ..I said sure heres access to my PG - meanwhile he has no photo on his profile nor did he offer to open up his PG... but I was quite taken with all that he wrote...I can see beyond the physical ..Im pretty sure Im the only person in the world that can !!! So 20 minutes ticks by and no reply to my message after I opened up PG for him......so I messaged him again "Ah is that a renege on the drink offer ? "( I wanted to know whether to go home and get ready or alternatively hit the gym which was my original destination.. He took a while to respond and he replied...No that he didnt think I was rite for him...having said that he was very polite which I appreciated.. and I do not fault him in any shape or form... but hang on...I was purely judged on my looks but lets face it, most of me appears on my profile...??? go figure...now dont get me wrong had we met for a drink and there was no connection...I could fully understand it and no problemo, but Im buggered if I understand, mega connection over several days, most of my pic showing and Im totally honest on my profile and his been messaging me for days with future plans of us going to the footy and going down south for rides on his motobike Can someone please enlighten me, cause Im obviously not getting it...was I played and too stupid to know ?? Oh well Looks like a DVD and pack of Lindt White Choc balls for me tonite....:(
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RHP User
13 years ago
...it could be that your previous experience was with young men, boys really. Boys just want the trophy girlfriend to brag about and show off. It's all about the look. They don't really even want to talk and it's just as well because those little tarts are usually air heads. You'll find that a man is past that and would prefer to be with a real woman.
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RHP User
13 years ago
That sucks for you Velvet. And it's why I never exchange more than 2 messages without seeing the gents PG and without showing him mine. I will say though that I'm a looks kinda girl and if I don't find the person physically attractive, it doesn't matter how great their personality is, or what the connection is like - it will never develop into more than a friendship.
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RHP User
13 years ago
to know now Miss Velvet than to meet and its....blahhhh...still rejection is awful,I feel for you but as they say in the forums NEXT,and poor fool he missed out on fabulous youx Hugs H
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RHP User
13 years ago
Did he give you a reason why he didn't think you were right for him, if not than maybe its was him ... maybe he freaked out when you agreed to meet. We all look for the good in people and assume that when it doesn't work out that the bad is in us. Go enjoy your DVD and Lindt White Choc balls ... at least your getting some balls tonight
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RHP User
13 years ago
Your good for my ego....and your rite...NEXT...Im sure there is still some lovely guys out there....somewhere !!! Hell Ive put on like 400 grams eating those damn bloody chocolates balls since my last post...
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RHP User
13 years ago
So many posts that resonate so strongly with me, this one most of all. Thanks x
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RHP User
13 years ago
He was very polite (which was nice) but simply stated that he didnt think I was rite for him (fair enough but not very specific) ...that was all..so he didnt give me an real indication...this is the first time this has happen to me so I am perplexed..dont get me wrong if we had met and had a drink, and I wasnt his cup of tea fair enough...but this one has me stumped after messaging back and forwards for several days. (and long intense messages at that) ..then this ??? And then I noticed several times during the nite he keep looking at my profile WTF ?? Yes Apollo I will do that in the the future..pictures is usually a thing I do bring up early but didnt this time (nor did he) ...I really dont know why,,, probably because this guy was articulate and polite and for me, that was a bonus and what I foucssed on, but will in future sort out the "pic" situation a lot quicker...thankyou for your advice.. I did enjoy my balls and my "The Borgias" DVD - god there was enough sex in the first 10 minutes of that series to last me a week !!! :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Mischeviouslad....this are great word.....what a good positive mantra. I have to make you a compliment, you are a very insightful man...who expresses a great deal of female admiration and love.I am taking my head of to you...thank you for being such a great male. I dont have this problem taking my clothes of and being naked...for me its just the oposite I feel more shy when I am still dressed.... when I made the dession to be naked with a man I am fine. And as Tuscan said......be yourself the men who come to you know its you, enjoy every moment of it, its such a fantastic moment this sex and sensual feeling. I am so happy with to have found RHP. I am amazing, and he/she/they are going to absolutely love me! I am amazing, and he/she/they are going to absolutely love me! I AM amazing, and he/she/they are going to ABSOLUTELY FUCKING WELL LOVE ME!!! will pin this on my mirrow. lol...you made my day today ML Cheers Litonya....
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'MsVelvetblue' He was very polite (which was nice) but simply stated that he didnt think I was rite for him (fair enough but not very specific) ...that was all..so he didnt give me an real indication...this is the first time this has happen to me so I am perplexed..dont get me wrong if we had met and had a drink, and I wasnt his cup of tea fair enough...but this one has me stumped after messaging back and forwards for several days. (and long intense messages at that) ..then this ??? And then I noticed several times during the nite he keep looking at my profile WTF ?? Yes Apollo I will do that in the the future..pictures is usually a thing I do bring up early but didnt this time (nor did he) ...I really dont know why,,, probably because this guy was articulate and polite and for me, that was a bonus and what I foucssed on, but will in future sort out the "pic" situation a lot quicker...thankyou for your advice.. I did enjoy my balls and my "The Borgias" DVD - god there was enough sex in the first 10 minutes of that series to last me a week !!! :) Sorry to hear this Ms VB - it always takes a piece out of the confidence. Be of good cheer though - I'm sure the queue to chat to/meet you stretches wayyyyyyy around the block.Tell me about The Borgias DVD????
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RHP User
13 years ago
Ms Velvet he is married....got cold feet...as lookforyou said,why do we always believe it is us. Litonya,you have such a great view,I love your attitude. OP this journey can be fraught with frauds,fakes,players of games,but if you develop a process to sift and sort and a positive attitude you will enjoy it.x Hugs H
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RHP User
13 years ago
"MISLAD" I just realized under the shower I took my head of instate of my hat.........hahahahah ups shit english always make a mistake. I hope you can forgive me for this spelling mistake. Your humble Litony hahahahh
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RHP User
13 years ago
to expect a reason for the "sorry, but no". it's nice if someone gives you one, but i don't think it's fair to demand it. we forget, saying NO is often hard for someone once a report has been struck up. think about how often do you get a zero response to an invitation of some sort?I always offer my PG first up when ever someone shows enough interest to message me. then i can deal with the silence earlier ~smiles~
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RHP User
13 years ago
I tend to think that rejection is good.Why be with someone who dose NOT want to be with you?Its all about how you think of life.As Forest Gump says "life is like a box of chocolates"Some people like rocky road,others like Turkish delight,dont worry your self about what others think about you Sweetnsexygal.You should be with someone you feel comfortable with and wants to be with YOU! Its not about "Quantity" its about "Quality"and the time you share with someone you get along with and want to be with.Keep smiling and laughing at life,you never know who is watching Sweetnsexygal.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Your insecure Don't know what for Your turning heads when you walk through the doorDon't need make upTo cover upBeing the way that you are in enoughEveryone else in the room can see it Everyone else but YOU!Baby you light up the world like no body else The way that you flip your hair gets us over whelmed But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tellYou don't know oh ohYou don't know you're beautifulIf only you saw,what we can seeYou'll understand why we want you so desperately Right now we are looking at youand we can't believe You dont know your beautifulTHAT's WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL !
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RHP User
13 years ago
Just date fat ugly men !
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RHP User
13 years ago
So what if he does? Everyone has different taste and is entitled to :) His loss.....next! ;)Very clever 50z :D .....I would rather be an average guys Miss fantasy then Adonis' whoever ;)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Men / couples can feel the same waytoo... its that "what if they dont like me" fear and frustraation which can ruin a wonderful chance to meet someone nice...doesnt have to be a perfect match but could make a life long friend just by saying hello...cheers
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