F62
How bad can an EX behave
November 11 2011
Comments
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Could be the devastation and destruction that you have inflicted on him. My ex ruined my life and for that if I never see or talk to her again it will be too soon. I have spoken to couples that have had amicable break ups and got on quite well. But women have the support of the law and the solicitors to destroy a man. Might pay to take a look at what destruction you have wrought. It may be 12 1/2 years but if like me he is paying for it (figuratively and financially) then 12 1/2 years is only a short time.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
As you have said,....its about your daughter and son-in-law to be.....not about him at all..Wishing you and your daughter a truely magical day.(Just enjoy yourself, no need to let him get to you......I have a feeling he will manage to have a few too many and makea total fool of himself without you having to do anything at all :) )
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Newbs64,That was incredibly bad behaviour demonstrated by your ex and how embarrassing for everyone there. It seems as though some people are incapable of putting their own feelings aside for others, regardless of the occasion.I think you used the crucial word at the end of your statement "dignity", and the other that belongs with it is "decorum" Two things desperately missing from most people's character these days. I do hope you ignored his barbs and showed by your class and politeness that you are above that sort of stupidity.I have been separated for a number of years and when my son was married, his father and I were seated beside each other as is appropriate. Although there is not a lot of love lost between us, for the sake of our son and new daughter-in-law, the past was put aside for a very special occasion for our family. We're not perfect, but we must make the effort for others.Celebrate with your family, be socially polite and respectful to your ex, and when everything is over, go back to living your life as you see fit. A little thing that I have learned in my years on this earth is "Don't lower yourself to their level"Good luck my dear, and best wishes to your daughter as she begins her new life.Viking.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
I love my x, he is the most considerate great person. I was one of the Lucy ones I guess. Yours did badly in what for some is stressful occasion. People behave badly when under stress or when they feel that they were hard done by.Just take it easy with him. I am sure your daughter will cope and if you ignore and just let it go it will be better. The problem with this is when its booze and emotions get together as in a wedding all hell can break loose. I never took my x to the cleaners at all, I always let him see the kids when ever he liked. I support him if he is unwell and he does the same for me. I said the oath , in sickness and in heath for better or worse. I think that’s a motto I try to live by with all my friends, and he is one of them. I had kids to him, I loved him once as my husband and love him now as my friend. Its a sad thing for you that this has happened but its sadder for him that he has to behave this way
-
contemplating1
14 years ago
Talk about a selfish prick! My marriage anded about 10yrs ago, and yes there were several burning issues between us, like most divorces.... The rights? the wrongs? There are always two sides and different ways of looking at it.....Ahhh! The ONE thing where we did, and do put all those things aside is anything to do with the kids, and their needs and special events and the like! One wouldn't think it would be too hard to ask to be civil at your daughter's wedding! Gee, sending best wishes for the day to turn out a great & happy one! (Fortuneatlyfor me, as time moved on the X and I are now quite civil.)
-
RHP User
14 years ago
I would say your Ex Husband is still in love with you.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
I find it really hard to understand when a parent cant put their kids first in these situations. I dread things like that because i have one of those ex's who is Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde you are never really sure what you are going to get. lol and then when you think things are going pretty smooth, you find out he has spent the whole time bitching and whining about you behind your back. But at the end of the day that just shows how pathetic they are, they are happy to be miserable and hold onto it for so long. I have been divorced for over 10 years now and it still amazes me how how petty and small minded he can be, and i don't understand who would want to live their life like that.And the really sad thing is for the kids because they see what he says and does and they respect me for the fact that i never lower myself to his level, and i have noticed lately they rarely tell them about important events at school, or things that happen to them. I honestly believe that he should have an important part in their lives, have never restricted access, never thought he should ask permission to see his kids, the kids have been able to come and go between us with no problem at all from me, however he has spent the last 10 years whinging about me and complaining about how hard he has it that the kids rarely want to see him, so he is the only one to blame for the fact that he has no real relationship with his kids.I agree and congratulate you on your dignity in such a situation, it sounds like you are a true caring parent who puts your kids first. Its a pity that getting the last nasty word in is what most people think is important.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
my ex walked out on me with one of my mates ,,,,,,,left me with 2 kids under 4 ,,,,,,,,,,,,took my house ,,,,,,,,,destroyed my buisiness ,,,,,,,,,,never ever paid a cracker towards my kids upkeep ,,,,,,,,,,,and just recently with the death of my son ,,,,never put a cent in towards his funeral ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,you tell me ,,,,,,,,,,
-
RHP User
14 years ago
My ex of who I dated for 4+ yrs left me in a time I was trying to cope with a knee reconstruction. Thought she was a nurse, little did she offer let a lone help. So, she left me (guess I couldn't really chase after her now) for another guy.I did what I needed too by erasing her out of my life, like numbers, pic's presents and etc..Kept on getting these private phone calls and etc and someone would just keep listening to my voice. also at this time, I started to do things that I would not have due to her always holding me back..Well 3 years later knock on my door and there she was.. suprised I was and actually it was good to see her (well at first)We sat and chatted.. She told me how she got married, moved to Sydney and is currently getting a divorce. She admitted to calling be those times I did not know who it was as she was being abused and etc.Then the bombshell!!! she asked if I was keen to try again with her... I smiles and said no thanks! I have moved on to bigger and better things. So after she left, she would txt and call just to meet up and the conversations would be about how she missed me, how great we were and etc.. I again replied with no thanks when she finally cracked and went off abusing me about why she left and that I was no good enough for her..I just smiled and replied, I would rather be alone all my live then to date you for one day. Thank her for leaving me and turned around and went on my way.Last I saw her was at a reunion for high school (yes! thats where we originally meet- yr 12) and her friends approached me to say that I am not over her coz Im looking at her and smiling..... I replied with well, see that old fella she is with, great that he has $$$ and etc, but Im young with a lot to live yet and see what she could have had and see what she settled for... thats why Im smiling... HAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
-
RHP User
14 years ago
ogrilp400, u r assuming she was the bad guy,perhaps it was him!Do not assumme for one minute that every relationship that fails, is the womans fault.Take your blinkers off man!Male and female alike can cause much heartache and despair!obviously u were unlucky in love.shame, but move on.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
There are jerks of every age of both sexes in any community you care to look at. Some of us are lucky enough not to have many jerks in our lives, some of us are unlucky enough to have had many (or just one really big one!!).I always keep in mind a quote by Buddy Hackett: “I've had a few arguments with people, but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you're carrying a grudge, they're out dancing.”Lets dance too, everybody dance! :)
-
RHP User
14 years ago
I dont think its right that u are placing personnel business on this website n also bagging him as well wether he has done right or wrong it is a personnel issue family issue that should not be made public. I gather if he knew that u placed what happened on this website he wouldnt be happy. I can tell u from my point of veiw if my wife did what u just did n placed it on this site n i found out bout. I would be throwing thousands of dollars at lawyers to keep her into line . My wife n i are happily married i just used her as example.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
If you have been apart for 12 1/2 years isnt it time you packed some of that baggage away? You may have got screwed over but hey.....you let it hapen. I see this so often that the men give up and then blame the woman. The Law is not on the side of the women at all. It is on the side of fairness. I see many women get screwed over by men as well. Time to man up a little and take reposibility for your own part in your unhapiness.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
What are you on about angel she can say this to anyone she likes she hasnt named him or said anything defamatory....Who are you to talk you are a man mascerading in a womans profile....I have learnt since being divorced from an abusive man that all men are not evil and there are woman to blame in divorce too. My ex runs around telling everyone false stories about me but those he tells them to know me and just brush him off. As far as he is concerned I ruined his life too ogrilp400 I could write a very boring and sad book I tell you. Newbs64 is just venting and looking for when will it all be over, it always amazes me that two people love live and have children but can turn to hate so intensely. Oh and me too.
-
john60
14 years ago
My ex tried to take me to the cleaners. I fought back hard and probably dirty at times. In the end I think we came out about 50/50 although at the time we both thought we were ripped off. That was over 10 years ago and now I have moved on and I have the means to look after my kids ( my son lives with me by his choice). At the time of the breakup everything is raw anr the emotions of betrail take over. Ten years later I couldnt care less what she is doing... I just looking after my kids.
-
contemplating1
14 years ago
Quoting 'Beneath_blueeyes' What are you on about angel she can say this to anyone she likes she hasnt named him or said anything defamatory....Who are you to talk you are a man mascerading in a womans profile.... Agrees Gee all newbs64 is doing is venting a lil bit of frustration, something most of us do at times...... Has she specifically named anyone, identified address or contact numbers, broken any privacy laws..... No... So wtf?
-
RHP User
14 years ago
I will put my hand up and didn't do anything to deserve his treatment. My crime was to leave him all that time ago. He got most of the assets. I walked away from a business that I created that allows him not to work now. The kids were never used as pawns. The crap didn't stop on Thursday, he verbally abused our daughter on Friday evening and had her tears. Having said that, the girls here all rallied around her and we had the best night. Lot of laughs and dancing and being girlie girls. It continued on the yesterday with him calling our son who was in the bridal party and abusing him. Having said that, his family hog tied him to some extend on the day. Aside from hissy fits and him making a tool of himself, we had the best day anyone could imagine. Our daughter barely stopped smiling. My now son in law is a laid back kinda guy, made the most beautiful speech to our daughter. All the guests had a ball. Members of his family who had not spoken to me since we seperated, spoke privately to me, which I very much appreciated. I never wanted the day to end, it was so beautiful. We partied on at my home til 3.30am. I got a phone call at 8am for me to collect them from the hotel. They still wanted to be amongst all the chatter and talk about their big day. If anyone has a special event, consider hiring a photo booth. Today it has provided us with so many laughs. In posting the original comment, it was not to incite negative comments. My ex tore my heart out for my daughter. I know men suffer somewhat finanically from seperations generally. I was quite the opposite, I agree to a substanial less figure for it to be over. I am not looking for sympathy either. I rebuilt my life. I guess really my message was for parents, if you dont get on with your ex, please do not take it out on the children, especially on such momentus occasions. The actions can never be erased. Even today, it was spoken about briefly and I just said we need to focus on what an extraordinary day it was. I am still floating on cloud 9. Thank you to the lovely rhp who left beautiful messages. xxxxxx
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Its a shame your Ex is still acting like a child after such a long time. I hope your daughter has a lovley day My ex is currently in the process of trying to destroy my life. I work in the adult industry and no my family doesnt know but this is a personal choice I have made. I come from a good family and i love them but i had to explore my desires. My ex has once before "taken me down" as he calls it by sending my ads to my dads work, my family, friends and where i used to work within the Qld gov. It all turned out OK and my family didnt take much notice of it as they new he was a nutter. After 9 months of blackmail, threats, me seeing him out of pure fear he has done it again. I now have to wait until my dad gets to work in the moring to see what distruction he has caused. His this time out to destroy via my work and my familys life and hurt my aniamls. He cant accept nor comprehend that its over and therfor feels its his right to ruin my life because if he cant have me no one can. So in my opion an Ex can get as bad as the evilness in this world allows
-
RHP User
14 years ago
I love a parteee also.... my nephew invloved in radio and music industry.. I requested he put together a cd for me for the afterparty.. long winded story.. short of it.. I wanted the party rock RMFAO (how many 47 yr old wud know) this was played at 3am.. box heads et al... so so funny... watch it on youtube a few times.. gold and infectious if you embrace... Life will never be the same without party rock anthem and now you are sexy and you know it.... cheer xxx
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'GargoylesUntd_FC' my ex walked out on me with one of my mates ,,,,,,,left me with 2 kids under 4 ,,,,,,,,,,,,took my house ,,,,,,,,,destroyed my buisiness ,,,,,,,,,,never ever paid a cracker towards my kids upkeep ,,,,,,,,,,,and just recently with the death of my son ,,,,never put a cent in towards his funeral ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,you tell me ,,,,,,,,,, Quoting 'Kianne' I find it really hard to understand when a parent cant put their kids first in these situations. I dread things like that because i have one of those ex's who is Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde you are never really sure what you are going to get. lol and then when you think things are going pretty smooth, you find out he has spent the whole time bitching and whining about you behind your back. But at the end of the day that just shows how pathetic they are, they are happy to be miserable and hold onto it for so long. I have been divorced for over 10 years now and it still amazes me how how petty and small minded he can be, and i don't understand who would want to live their life like that.And the really sad thing is for the kids because they see what he says and does and they respect me for the fact that i never lower myself to his level, and i have noticed lately they rarely tell them about important events at school, or things that happen to them. I honestly believe that he should have an important part in their lives, have never restricted access, never thought he should ask permission to see his kids, the kids have been able to come and go between us with no problem at all from me, however he has spent the last 10 years whinging about me and complaining about how hard he has it that the kids rarely want to see him, so he is the only one to blame for the fact that he has no real relationship with his kids.I agree and congratulate you on your dignity in such a situation, it sounds like you are a true caring parent who puts your kids first. Its a pity that getting the last nasty word in is what most people think is important.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Adult Forums on RedHotPie is the largest and most active Adult discussion group in Australia. Please contribute to our Adult Forums and share your opinions and advice in our broad range of topics including adult dating, sex, sexuality, swinging and relationships.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
My ex is a selfish, manipulative low life. He firmly believes it his right to get retribution from me because he is miserable. We split in 2000 and he hasn't let up since. Every time something good happens in my life he tries to create trouble for me. I've been upfront and honest in all my interactions with him trying from the start to keep things amicable. When I bought a second hand car for $10,000 he said I had too much money and went to centrelink to try to have my payments decreased. He was furious when they found against him. He's lied to all our children and managed to turn one of them against me. He makes a good deal more money than me and could by her things and let her have her own way when with him until she broke of communications with me. He told our son, who has Down Syndrome, that I didn't love him and was stealing his money. He could afford a lawyer so took me to court claiming my new husband was violent and dangerous and had my previously mentioned daughter lie in court to this effect.All this inspite of the fact that hubby had never raised a hand to them. My ex tried for years to provoke a fight with insults but in the end resorted to shoving hubby until hubby hit him across the head with an open hand. He then called the police and without a mark on him told them that hubby hit unch him in the face without provokation all to build a case in court. We could not afford a solicitor and so represented ourselves. My eldest daughter wanted to appear in court to defend us be we thought it best that she not become involved and create a rift between her and her father. The judge paid no attention to me without a solicitor and my son was taken away from me. He never even asked my son if my hubby had ever hit him. He is over 18 now and has a say in where he stays and spends a lot of time with us. A few weeks ago, I got a call from an insurance company, asking whether I was happy with the cover I had or if I wanted to increase it. I told them I didn't have a policy with them. They apologised as they had called me by mistake. The policy was on my life but my ex was the owner of the policy and had kept it going since we split and had it increased to $500,000 all without my knowledge. Now I know why he kept telling me everyone would be better off if I was dead and kept asking me why I didn't just do the right thing and commit suicide.
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 15123 Comments: 88158
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1417 Comments: 10229
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2521 Comments: 11677
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2506 Comments: 9759
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 1009 Comments: 5264
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1303 Comments: 5776
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 782 Comments: 1988
-
LGBT
Topics: 170 Comments: 867
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share