M50 F49
Hotwifing
August 11 2019
We have been married 20 years so thought as a couple we could do this together, both of us agreed on it. Is it wrong for me to be a part of the chat and involvement?
Am i wrong to expect the guy that joins us understands that i need some kind of respect?
To me it feels like the guy that joins us is the main priority, i understand that someone new is obviously going to be exciting and that's fine.
It's the hiding txts, calls and cheating that does my head in. Cheers.
- Posted from rhpmobile
Comments
AnnieWhichway
5 years ago
Your relationship is in crisis.
Time to put your profile on hold, and sort things out. It's not the third wheels problem., he would be taking the cue from your partner and most guys have tunnel vision for hiding the sausage.
Many couples get on here to solve their relationship problems.
Instead of solving, it resolves......into 2 x singles.
Good luckRHP User
5 years ago
We too have been in the scene for two years and have played on 5 occasions with a couple of different guys and I admit that on different occasions I have been a bit jealous as the relationship with these guys grow but I vent my issues with my gorgeous wife and we work on rectifying the issues.The problem you seem to have is a trust issue for example why does your wife need to hide txts from you if your both happy to play and does she really respect you and your opinion if she does you really need to sit down and have a d and m, it’s not worth a marriage break up
RHP User
5 years ago
Innermost desires
We have been doing this for a while now, and every single man or woman that we met knew his or her place because we were always on same page and wanted the same experiences.
The way we see it, as it’s mentioned already, third person joins in with whatever vibes you give them.
If the guy thinks it’s ok to humiliate you it’s because he was led to think it’s ok. And if he is someone who gets a kick out of this and approached you two with this in mind, your wife should have put him in his place.
If she didn’t it’s probably because she enjoys this and you have very different priorities.
Power corrupts some people, sex is no different.
You have been together for years but it seems her newfound power got the better of her.
It just goes to show deep inside people are very different than what we think they are.RHP User
5 years ago
As far as I can see, she is being disrespectfil for your feelings and deceitful. This is not a loving partnership. You've been straight with her and yet she carries on. I agree that you both should take a step back from the scene to work on your relationship. If she carries on regardless, then you need to evaluate your relationship and what you are getting out of it.
RHP User
5 years ago
I agree with you. Seemed together to start with and thought we were very tight with each other. But as i have stated it changed and i feel pretty silly actually. I know it's not the third wheels fault, as you said they were following my wifes cue and of course looking for pussy.
I guess all rhp stories aren't all roses.
FeistyFatty
5 years ago
WOW. Seek some professional help. Your marriage is not in a good place.
RHP User
5 years ago
Thanks for your responses, all very helpful and no smart arsed ones! Very hard to think of your partner these ways after 20 years. I have probably had my head in the sand. As a partner i suppose you just don't want to believe someone so close to you can be so cruel. Anyway you have all helped a bit. Thanks
Good_Bad
5 years ago
It sounds like you've communicated to her your boundaries and they haven't been respected.
RHP User
5 years ago
“I have probably had my head in the sand. As a partner i suppose you just don't want to believe someone so close to you can be so cruel.”
It takes two to run a relationship, so you having your head in the sand is not the likely case, she probably never had this kind of power and opportunity to express herself this way, so she is enjoying it beyond her wildest dreams.
As for cruelty, some people are just born sadists, femdom is a very real thing. If expressed and practiced under right circumstances with consent, people make things work. My Mrs is a wild one, but our devotion and honesty saves the day.
What you need to figure out is whether your partner feels remorse and values you more than she values her new high.
If she expresses no empathy that rings alarm bells.
Your priority is you, when your partner doesn’t priority you.
MsJonesy
5 years ago
Appears to be that of someone who has taken the initial idea and morphed it into something of her own. I would hazard a guess she is continuing to cheat - whether that is emotionally and physically is for you to determine. Hiding texts and her phone means there is information she doesn't wish to share with you...but you know that already otherwise you wouldn't be asking for our input.
I suggest it is time to put an end to the adventure, at least until you two can talk it out and reset boundaries. If she is not prepared to do that...well, your relationship really is in a bad place.
JohnAnn2227
5 years ago
Hi, What your wife is doing is simply cheating. Hotwifing is where you both get excitement out of the wife flirting/dating/fucking with other guys. It mightn't be with you present but it does need your consent or it is simply cheating. We both respect and love each other that we are always first in any playing. In a selfish way we are using the 3rd (4th or 5th) wheels to simply enhance our sexlife, not replace it.We honestly believe that you need to have another talk with your wife and clearly express your feelings and what your limits of acceptance of behaviours are. It sounds like you were happy to add a thrid wheel to help you bring your wife extra satisfaction and that is to be complimented. However, don't let her see this as weakness. As far as the guy treating you as shit, stand up and turf him out. If she wants to complain, let her follow him out the door.Good luck and we really feel for you.Ann & John
RHP User
5 years ago
Is sending you a very clear message.Her behaviour is a betrayal. Only you and she can know if your relationship can withstand this. Sometimes people behave in very passive aggressive ways when they are reluctant to confront the underlying issues.A symptom not a cause.
Hugs QSawadee
5 years ago
Give and take as they say ? But it seems its become' you give and she takes situation without any thought whatsoever to your involvement ? IF ' you suspect she's cheating outside your intial understanding , it really is time to sit down and confront the issue ? If she refuses, or dismisses your concerns as trivial ' your only other option is to pull the plug on all activity until you can reach a better understanding .. Also it seems your generous nature is being seen as somewhat submissive ? So if you dont speak up , nothing is going to change. Good luck..
RHP User
5 years ago
then your wife has decided HER lovers and HER lifestyle are more important then you!
Personally, I reckon it is TOO late to be saved..AND, do you want it anyway?Even if you demanded you both STOP the lifestyle, and she agreed to it - would you EVER trust her again?Nope! She will keep "Cheating" on you anyway.
Q: Who first raised the idea of her "Playing" ?Q: How long/hard was it to get it off the ground?Q: Once suggested, how long did it actually take to initiate?Q: Which of you ACTUALLY "Started" the movement?
Answer these truthfully to yourself, and you may well have the real answer to where you both are..
But, don't take MY word for it :)Go find out yourself mate
Best of luck.RHP User
5 years ago
Hi Cavey, i am genuinne. I first bought it up a couple of years ago and my wife wasn't overly keen and i felt like a weirdo to tell you the truth. So kept it as a fantasy and mentioned it from time to time. Then i joined here and told her, but only ever wanted her to feel comfortable.
The first time was pretty good about 6 months after joining then i pretty much left it to her as long as i could read the messages when i got home.
But next guy we had a nice time but then they started txting and hiding txts. You see my wife has been my baby and all i wanted was to spoil her.
Since then she has hid many txts and i found out she cheated.
At this stage she doesn't show much remorse or effort to work on our marriage. So i am facing facts i guess.RHP User
5 years ago
I meant i bought it up a couple years before we started.
RHP User
5 years ago
People start this journey together does not always continue together...
And it all comes down to how we interpret this new lifestyle.
For you it is probably a continuous journey where you’d both evolve and discover things together.
For your partner it’s obviously something else. She came across someone and decided that she’d focus on him, not on you or your journey.
So I am guessing she was never really interested in a continuous adventure, but something else.
As someone already stated, it may be too late to go back now, so consider your next step and get ready to move on..
Since she shows no remorse or empathy.
You want a life companion to enjoy your journey with you, not someone who will get off at first stop.
Hotwifing can be amazing experience but you need two people who. are genuinely interested in it, not one with questionable motives and a partner.
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