Hi, wondering if you can help with my profile

October 01 2019

or - WHY DON'T I RECEIVE FLIRTS OR MESSAGES.
A random messaged me today asking for help with his profile, and as he was polite and I had the time, I scoped him out.
His profile failed in the same three key areas as almost everyone on this site.
So I sent him the following generic advice
Your profile fails in three key areas:
ASK MENo one wants to waste time asking to find out your answer makes you incompatible - fill in all those ASK MEs with the truth and you will get a better response rate.
PHOTOSNo clear face pic = no interest from 99% of us ladies. If you are worried about privacy, upload to your private album and only give access to those you want to talk with. You can also revoke access if it turns out you're not compatible.
DETAILNSA mean different things to different people - clarify if you want a regular discreet play partner, or you only want occasional fun, or just one nighters.You are married: clarify if you need complete discretion or not. Personally (and I am in the majority here, sorry to say) I will not play with a married person unless I can speak to the partner also. It's basic ethics - do no harm. But each to their own - you also might find you have more luck if you specify that you are happy to play with other attached individuals.
Specify whether you can host or not, and whether you are available for play at specific times. Can you play during the week? Weekends only? Night time?

SUMMARYThis info helps potentially interested parties know right away if you match in enough areas to risk sending you a message.

Comments

  • Sawadee

    Sawadee

    5 years ago

    No 2 people are the same .. The above advice may suit some ' but not all.?



    It's my opinion everyone needs to sit down and nut out thier own profile ... After all ' isn't it about you and how you sell yourself ? and when the crunch comes, can you live up to what someone else thought you should say ? Nope' good or bad ' write your own profile and be yourself ...

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    I usually don’t find these advice threads all that pleasant, but this is a very refreshing change....

    Great work


    Mr dragon

  • PatchworkGirl

    PatchworkGirl

    5 years ago

    I agree with all of the above! There are far too many variables in some of these frequently used phrases can mean multiple things.

  • PatchworkGirl

    PatchworkGirl

    5 years ago

    That should be ... There are far too many variables in some of these frequently used phrases, and they can mean multiple things, so a bit of clarity helps.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Your teaching them to cheat, someone’s profile should be there own work, not your template.

    Even if you came across it you’d be disappointed because to coin a popular phrase it’s “fake news”

  • tylannister

    tylannister

    5 years ago

    Sure, everyone has to figure out their own profile - KittyDeluxe isn't telling this guy exactly what to write. She's giving him suggestions as to describe himself genuinely.

    I don't understand how what KittyDeluxe is suggesting is "cheating"? All she is recommending to this guy is that by being more transparent about himself and what he's looking for being on here that he'll get better responses from women.

    She's not in any way suggesting that he pretend to be something that he's not (and therefore "fake news" if you must), but just that he provide a fuller picture (both figuratively AND literally) to better inform women looking at his profile.

    I'm curious - are there other women out there that who, looking at a guy's profile, would honestly prefer less information, more "Ask Me"s, and no picture to a profile that gives this information?

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    What you don’t include says as much as what you do. That he hasn’t bothered to fill out the ask me’s tells its own story.

    All that information, is here on the website if you care to look, right? If you care to look. Don’t care ? That tells a story.

  • KittyDeluxe

    KittyDeluxe

    5 years ago

    That's what happens when you skim-read (or don't bother to read at all).
    I don't condone cheating - I told him as much in my reply and this post (as I simply cut and paste it from my reply).
    The thing is, it is not my nor your place to judge anyone on this site's preferences or predilections.
    I, as most people looking for casual hookups, only require honesty and openness, so that if you don't fit in with my own personal ethics or wants, then I have all the information I need to form that opinion.
    I advised him to be HONEST, nowhere did I advise him to be deceptive.
    What he does with that advice is totally his choice and none of our business.

  • tylannister

    tylannister

    5 years ago

    Wanting to tell his own story by saying “Ask me” is fine, but it’s not the best way to attract flirts and messages - which is what he was asking KittyDeluxe about in the first place.

  • Sawadee

    Sawadee

    5 years ago

    Bottom line is , it's your profile ? Own it ? If you stuff up , you can only learn from that.

  • tylannister

    tylannister

    5 years ago

    It sounds like he -did- stuff up. And owned up to it. And was asking for help. Are people not allowed to ask for help on their profiles?

    I mean, we have this entire section of the forums devoted to "Profile Clinic, Tips, and Advice". If you don't believe that people should be seeking advice on their profiles...why are you even reading this section of the forums?

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    You see what you want to see.

    I wasn’t talking about married cheating, at all.

    I was talking about contrived profile cheating, but, like I said you see what you wanna see.

    Should I comment here, perhaps not, but I can. 😃

  • Sawadee

    Sawadee

    5 years ago

    It's his profile .... If he sat down with someone and explained what he wants and what he wants to say ' and they can put that into words ... fair enough.. But for someone else to think for him ??? Uh Uh ..

  • PatchworkGirl

    PatchworkGirl

    5 years ago

    Sawadee, OP clearly stated that he had messaged her asking for profile help. No one is writing anything for him, but politely replying with some suggestions that might help him find what he’s after, and help the people he is messaging to have a better idea of what that is.

  • tylannister

    tylannister

    5 years ago

    I suspect what we have here is just fundamentally different views of how people can improve their profiles, and thus, their experience here on RHP.

  • Sawadee

    Sawadee

    5 years ago

    Just don't feel comfortable knowing its others influence and not the individuals. People will do what people will do regardless.. I've spent a good deal of my life encouraging kids to have faith in thier own ability and judgement . So i guess that still drives my way of thinking.. All good ...

  • Sawadee

    Sawadee

    5 years ago

    Think you nailed it brother...

  • PatchworkGirl

    PatchworkGirl

    5 years ago

    Sawadee I spend a good deal of my life teaching kids that one of their greatest powers is the ability to express themselves clearly and openly, and that what they alike matters. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with seeking avenues for self-improvement, if the impetus for that comes from the individual and not someone external.

  • Sawadee

    Sawadee

    5 years ago

    I think we're on the same page here.. I agree theres nothing wrong with wanting to learn . I always told my kids to listen and make informative decisions. I also told them if they stuff up ' they will learn from that.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Hi all well ive been on and of this site over the last two years. I thought i mite be able to to meet like minded people. I thought i mite get to do a fantasy or two as well as help others with these.it has not really worked for me. If i go to a club dancing listening to music i get plenty of lady's give me attention. Some feedback would be nice .thanks