M56
Hang on a Minute..we were together then!!
March 10 2011
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
You are kidding right! That is really awful - for you and her. Will you tell her you saw it?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Im sure its not & easy one, but its best she is told! xxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
What about when you weren't together, in the past?? Do think it is right for your partner at the time to go through your shit and "get rid" of the stuff that he or she did not like? My ex went through all mine and did what she wanted... lol, it wasn't until we were through i noticed..now im pissed cause it was apart of my life...Memories dont last forever. I believe the more open people can be the with each other, the better! If a question is asked,,there should be an answer... Dont ask, dont tell.
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RHP User
15 years ago
as horrible as it sounds i guess maybe there is such a thing as Karma after all!I still think you should tell her though that is a low act for someone to post something like that without the other parties' consent.just my 2 cents worth,Mrs GC
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RHP User
15 years ago
The things we do when we are bored...and the things we find out.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'You are kidding right! That is really awful - for you and her. Will you tell her you saw it? I am with Meeka on this..This thing sounds fucked up across the board, but it is not just bad for you. Taping someone without their knowledge and posting it online is a really shady thing to do. I am sorry for you to find out this way, but I am wondering what you are going to do. As much as it sucks to find out a partner is unfaithful, it must suck just as much for your ex to find out she is on a porn site without ever knowing she was a star. Damn! And, in answer to your question: NO, this has never happened to me. And forgive me for saying I hope it never does...Sorry, man.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'You are kidding right! That is really awful - for you and her. Will you tell her you saw it? Meeka, No i am deadly seriuos..Im not sure if i will tell her or not..Do you think i should?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Wouldn't that SLAY you! Condolences on that discovery, you glad you free of her? (Rhetorical). You now have the upper hand as I see it, play the Ace.
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RHP User
15 years ago
...erm... is the URL?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Maxking2010' Quoting 'Meeka100'You are kidding right! That is really awful - for you and her. Will you tell her you saw it? Meeka, No i am deadly seriuos..Im not sure if i will tell her or not..Do you think i should? im all for revenge on the ex lol...but this was wrong and she needs to be told if you dont talk to her, then just email the link if your still friends, sit her down at the computer and show her i know this will sound hard, but dont bring up that you were together when it was done...she will be hurt enough, see it as karma roxxy
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'TassieRose' Quoting 'Maxking2010' Quoting 'Meeka100'You are kidding right! That is really awful - for you and her. Will you tell her you saw it? Meeka, No i am deadly seriuos..Im not sure if i will tell her or not..Do you think i should? im all for revenge on the ex lol...but this was wrong and she needs to be told if you dont talk to her, then just email the link if your still friends, sit her down at the computer and show her i know this will sound hard, but dont bring up that you were together when it was done...she will be hurt enough, see it as karma roxxyDecided i wont say anything....thats her problem..Leaves a warning for all doesnt it..u just never know!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Maxking - yes you should tell her. Whether by person or email doesn't really matter. That way she may be able to get it taken off the site. Put yourself in her shoes - would you want to know? xxMeeks
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'sydneyboy3au'...erm... is the URL? Hehehe I was waiting for someone to ask! . Not a nice dilemna, but I guess it's your call OP. I'd want to know ... as Meeka suggests, would you?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Karma at its best. However, you shouldn't stoop to her level. Just tell her to be honest.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I almost flipped out on an ex for something similar. I was surfing BDSM porn and there was one of a woman being throatfucked then taking it from behind. The thing is, she looked really familiar. So my mind was going a mile a minute thinking "Its cant be... it is... it cant be... it has to be... it cant be...". I was deeply in love with her, but she was at work at the time and I decided to be sure before I said anything. So I spent the next few hours tracing the video back to its source (with some impressive detective work, if I say so myself!) and it turns out it wasnt her, but their faces were almost identical and the woman in the video was tied face down on a table so I couldnt see how different their bodies were until I tracked the full version. And thats how I learned my lesson about making assumptions.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Maxking2010' Decided i wont say anything....thats her problem..Leaves a warning for all doesnt it..u just never know!! Are you kidding? It's the perfect setup! Invite her for a coffee, telling her that you have something important to tell her. Wait until her coffee arrives so she's less inclined to flee. Tell her in such a way that she knows that you know it was when you were together. ("I didn't know it was you at first, until I realised that it was your flat on Slag Street - I remembered moving that couch in. Remember? You bought it just after we got back from Bali...") Sit back, have a sip of your coffee, wait for the lightbulbs to go on and watch her squirm.It's a win-win situation. You get to look like a caring, non-judgemental ex and make her feel like shit for betraying you, and she gets to find out something that she really deserves to know. Since you get to feel smug and she... doesn't, I reckon you should shout her the coffee. Enjoy!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Revenge is never sweet...but there is nothing wrong with acquiring an asset that may have a lot of value in the future...all good investment portfolios should have low value holdings with a high growth potential. | Download the movie and save it on a portable media stick. | If she happens to win the lottery or marries somebody with a lot of money that might not know she was a startlet...well, just think of it as pre-retirment planning and you won't pay any capital gains tax on the income I am sure. | If not...just leave it in your will to her next of kin. |
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Maxking2010' Quoting 'TassieRose' Quoting 'Maxking2010' Quoting 'Meeka100'You are kidding right! That is really awful - for you and her. Will you tell her you saw it? Meeka, No i am deadly seriuos..Im not sure if i will tell her or not..Do you think i should? im all for revenge on the ex lol...but this was wrong and she needs to be told if you dont talk to her, then just email the link if your still friends, sit her down at the computer and show her i know this will sound hard, but dont bring up that you were together when it was done...she will be hurt enough, see it as karma roxxy Decided i wont say anything....thats her problem..Leaves a warning for all doesnt it..u just never know!! hun i get where your coming from...believe me there are a few people out there that i would think twice about telling if i ever found this out about them no matter how hurt you are with this...it was a cruel thing for someone to do...just an email saying..."lol look what i found...www.itsyoufucking.com"....its better than nothing you dont have to talk to her anymore...but it makes you the better person...you have told her and what she does after that has nothing to do with you and you dont have to ever contact her again please tell her...we are all here for you roxxy
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Maxking2010' Quoting 'Meeka100'You are kidding right! That is really awful - for you and her. Will you tell her you saw it? Meeka, No i am deadly seriuos..Im not sure if i will tell her or not..Do you think i should? Pretty certain this is an illegal act, publishing pics and videos without consent. It could also cause huge embarrasment to this women. Yes she done you wrong but two wrongs dont make things right do they? If she knows it is there then there is no harm. At least she knows that you are fully aware of the lies and deciept that was happening when you were together. Telling her what you have found is just the right thing to do.
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RHP User
15 years ago
No matter what occurred between the two of you .. Always rise about that and be who YOU really are. Hopefully a decent man that recognises the horrendous invasion of privacy this girl is currently experiencing. I would want to know (not that anyone has every taken video of me - damn damn damn) Even send her an email suggesting she check this out .. Just make sure you can"t be implicated as the Camera Man :) Sass xx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Do what's right for YOU, she obviously wasn't thinking about you or your feelings, so the choice you have is whether to return the favour or not. From what you're saying, she was dishonest/deceiptful about the situation with you, her bad, her choice and her consequences. If YOU feel its the right thing to do for YOU to say nothing, then do it and don't give it a second thought. If YOU feel you need to speak up, then do that. My point is, dont' give her feelings thoughts or situation a second thought. She clearly didn't do so for you and the consequences are hers to own. Whatever is congruent with who YOU are, is what's most important here.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I should probably add... this girl is not your responsibility to take care of, she wasn't when you were together, and she certainly isn't now. Check your motivations for wanting to telll her - if its because you want brownie points or harbour some lingering idea she'll want you back for doing it, forget about that right now. If its seated in some moral imperative that's part of your core beliefs, then give it more consideration. Ultimately she's a big gir, made her own choices, took her own actions. Get on with your life, she's not your responsibility, you are.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Snowshoe' Quoting 'Maxking2010' Decided i wont say anything....thats her problem..Leaves a warning for all doesnt it..u just never know!! Are you kidding? It's the perfect setup! Invite her for a coffee, telling her that you have something important to tell her. Wait until her coffee arrives so she's less inclined to flee. Tell her in such a way that she knows that you know it was when you were together. ("I didn't know it was you at first, until I realised that it was your flat on Slag Street - I remembered moving that couch in. Remember? You bought it just after we got back from Bali...") Sit back, have a sip of your coffee, wait for the lightbulbs to go on and watch her squirm.It's a win-win situation. You get to look like a caring, non-judgemental ex and make her feel like shit for betraying you, and she gets to find out something that she really deserves to know. Since you get to feel smug and she... doesn't, I reckon you should shout her the coffee. Enjoy! I must say....I like this approach...although I maybe wouldnt be *quite* so smug.But yes...letting her know that YOU know you were together...that you now know she cheated on you...and that SHE got fucked twice while she did it.Once by his cock...and the other by having it filmed and posted online.At least then she can do something about it....assuming she doesnt already know about it.JMO...BJxxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Seriously dude, she's somebody's sister and somebody's daughter. You don't have to like her, but letting her at least restore her dignity is what a decent guy does. Even if you forget about what she gets out of it and do it for your own self respect, only good can come from telling her and only bad from not.
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RHP User
15 years ago
All valid points, but why are you all assuming she doesn't already know?? And that she would even have an issue with it! . An old FWB of mine once drew my attention to a photo on a porn site of another friend of mine. He recognised her, so I took a look. Sure enough, it was her!! Her face was easily identifiable and you could post a comment below the pic, rating it, and there were already a hundred or so. . So I contacted her and broke the news gently. She had no idea whatsoever that it was there but in telling her, she acted like she had won Lotto! She had no intention whatsoever of making any kind of complaint and actually thanked me profusely for drawing her attention to it because she felt fantastically famous! . I managed to do the perceived 'right thing', which made me feel better and in doing so managed to inadvertently make her day! Go figure! . No such thing as bad publicity for some! :-D
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem'All valid points, but why are you all assuming she doesn't already know?? And that she would even have an issue with it! ... An equally valid point, and one I had never considered. I think it was the "filmed with out her knowledge" that has captured most people's attention. It is quite possible that she already knows, and doesn't care (or is glad). It is equally possible that she doesn't know, and would be delighted to find out (like your friend). And still equally possible that she has no idea, and would be mortified to know. Which makes telling her still seem like a good idea...Like the oid adage says, 'Knowing is half the battle' (or is it 'Ignorance is Bliss'?) No matter what, this is not a situation I would want to be in...
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RHP User
15 years ago
Why has nobody pointed out the possibility that she will assume he knew she was cheating, filmed it and just wanted the footage for blackmail or something? Could cause a lot of shit, no matter what he says.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Snowshoe'Seriously dude, she's somebody's sister and somebody's daughter. You don't have to like her, but letting her at least restore her dignity is what a decent guy does. Even if you forget about what she gets out of it and do it for your own self respect, only good can come from telling her and only bad from not. She is someone, and you should tell her ... an ace card is not the right thing to hold .. revenge is not always sweet .. you wouldnt want it to happen to you ...
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RHP User
15 years ago
That sux that you saw that Mr.Max :( But...............tell us, was it a good show lol? ;) (Just looking for a positive here... :)) And I felt violated knowing that the perve that used to manage the Lucky Shag had cameras in the girls’ loos, he musta seen me pee a fair few times (nice eh?)?! He is in jail now... This technology age is scary, I tend to stick to my home for ‘special’ catchups now (new to being single after 10 yrs) because I am pretty paranoid about hidden cameras, coz I have known people to do ‘secret’ filming... that is one thing, but then putting it on the web for all to see?! Surely that must be a sue able offence?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'animal156'Karma at its best. However, you shouldn't stoop to her level. Just tell her to be honest. How is this Karma? I think that alot of people really do misinterpret Karma. This is now MaxKings Karma...it is his chance to right a wrong that has been done to another person! And if he doesn't fix this ASAP...he will find out what true Karma is! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'brisguy69007' I should probably add... this girl is not your responsibility to take care of, she wasn't when you were together, and she certainly isn't now. Check your motivations for wanting to telll her - if its because you want brownie points or harbour some lingering idea she'll want you back for doing it, forget about that right now. If its seated in some moral imperative that's part of your core beliefs, then give it more consideration. Ultimately she's a big girl, made her own choices, took her own actions. Get on with your life, she's not your responsibility, you are. Honestly, if i were happily going about my day and someone I'd done wrong in the distant past popped up and told me something like this I'd be doubly mortified as well as suspicious of their reason for telling me. Like telling someone that their partner is cheating, you can't assume that everyone WOULD want to know and that they won't get angry at you for bursting their little bubble of denial/ignorance. So tell her if you feel the need to ONLY if you're prepared for the possibility that not only might she not thank you for it, she might also take it badly and direct her anger toward you. xx Sarah
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Chuzzwozza' I almost flipped out on an ex for something similar. I was surfing BDSM porn and there was one of a woman being throatfucked then taking it from behind. The thing is, she looked really familiar. So my mind was going a mile a minute thinking "Its cant be... it is... it cant be... it has to be... it cant be...". I was deeply in love with her, but she was at work at the time and I decided to be sure before I said anything. So I spent the next few hours tracing the video back to its source (with some impressive detective work, if I say so myself!) and it turns out it wasnt her, but their faces were almost identical and the woman in the video was tied face down on a table so I couldnt see how different their bodies were until I tracked the full version. And thats how I learned my lesson about making assumptions. Hi Chuzzwozza, That did occur to me, but its 100% her..no doubt at all....
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' Revenge is never sweet...but there is nothing wrong with acquiring an asset that may have a lot of value in the future...all good investment portfolios should have low value holdings with a high growth potential. | Download the movie and save it on a portable media stick. | If she happens to win the lottery or marries somebody with a lot of money that might not know she was a startlet...well, just think of it as pre-retirment planning and you won't pay any capital gains tax on the income I am sure. | If not...just leave it in your will to her next of kin. | As always a very humourous and entertaining post!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Chuzzwozza'Why has nobody pointed out the possibility that she will assume he knew she was cheating, filmed it and just wanted the footage for blackmail or something? Could cause a lot of shit, no matter what he says. Chuzz, Thats probably a fair comment..but be assured that its clear from the video that i was neither involved, or knew of it. Any other theories?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem'All valid points, but why are you all assuming she doesn't already know?? And that she would even have an issue with it! . An old FWB of mine once drew my attention to a photo on a porn site of another friend of mine. He recognised her, so I took a look. Sure enough, it was her!! Her face was easily identifiable and you could post a comment below the pic, rating it, and there were already a hundred or so. . So I contacted her and broke the news gently. She had no idea whatsoever that it was there but in telling her, she acted like she had won Lotto! She had no intention whatsoever of making any kind of complaint and actually thanked me profusely for drawing her attention to it because she felt fantastically famous! . I managed to do the perceived 'right thing', which made me feel better and in doing so managed to inadvertently make her day! Go figure! . No such thing as bad publicity for some! :-D Dear Flirty... I did give that some thought, but i would seriously doubt that would be the case..but u just never know..
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee' Quoting 'Maxking2010' Quoting 'Meeka100'You are kidding right! That is really awful - for you and her. Will you tell her you saw it? Meeka, No i am deadly seriuos..Im not sure if i will tell her or not..Do you think i should? Pretty certain this is an illegal act, publishing pics and videos without consent. It could also cause huge embarrasment to this women. Yes she done you wrong but two wrongs dont make things right do they? If she knows it is there then there is no harm. At least she knows that you are fully aware of the lies and deciept that was happening when you were together. Telling her what you have found is just the right thing to do. Ms Fiona, It is illegal to publish any private video or material about anyone on the internet.If she found out, she could certainly have it taken down, and potentially take legal actions.To this point the video has had 171,000 views....
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'brisguy69007' Do what's right for YOU, she obviously wasn't thinking about you or your feelings, so the choice you have is whether to return the favour or not. From what you're saying, she was dishonest/deceiptful about the situation with you, her bad, her choice and her consequences. If YOU feel its the right thing to do for YOU to say nothing, then do it and don't give it a second thought. If YOU feel you need to speak up, then do that. My point is, dont' give her feelings thoughts or situation a second thought. She clearly didn't do so for you and the consequences are hers to own. Whatever is congruent with who YOU are, is what's most important here. Brisguy, Well said...she wasnt thinking of me at the time, thats for sure..lol
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'xFunlovingx' Quoting 'animal156'Karma at its best. However, you shouldn't stoop to her level. Just tell her to be honest. How is this Karma? I think that alot of people really do misinterpret Karma. This is now MaxKings Karma...it is his chance to right a wrong that has been done to another person! And if he doesn't fix this ASAP...he will find out what true Karma is! xFunlovingx Funloving...i am a bit confused. The video's presence is not of my doing.It is there because someone chose to engage in such practices, albeit without the knowledge it was being filmed(this i am very certain of).So essentially a wrongdoing by someone has had consequences far and above what they thought it might have. Is it really my job to rectify those?, Or is it the persons responsibility and problem.Is it not Karma, that their wrong actions now place them in a spot of vulnerability? Max..
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'celebree' Quoting 'Snowshoe'Seriously dude, she's somebody's sister and somebody's daughter. You don't have to like her, but letting her at least restore her dignity is what a decent guy does. Even if you forget about what she gets out of it and do it for your own self respect, only good can come from telling her and only bad from not. She is someone, and you should tell her ... an ace card is not the right thing to hold .. revenge is not always sweet .. you wouldnt want it to happen to you ... Hi Celebree, I have never viewed it as an ace, nor had any pleasure in finding it or watching it.My dilemma, is do i just move on..or do i tell her of its presence...Not looking for any gain on this.... Max
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'curiousnewgirl78' Quoting 'brisguy69007' I should probably add... this girl is not your responsibility to take care of, she wasn't when you were together, and she certainly isn't now. Check your motivations for wanting to telll her - if its because you want brownie points or harbour some lingering idea she'll want you back for doing it, forget about that right now. If its seated in some moral imperative that's part of your core beliefs, then give it more consideration. Ultimately she's a big girl, made her own choices, took her own actions. Get on with your life, she's not your responsibility, you are. Honestly, if i were happily going about my day and someone I'd done wrong in the distant past popped up and told me something like this I'd be doubly mortified as well as suspicious of their reason for telling me. Like telling someone that their partner is cheating, you can't assume that everyone WOULD want to know and that they won't get angry at you for bursting their little bubble of denial/ignorance. So tell her if you feel the need to ONLY if you're prepared for the possibility that not only might she not thank you for it, she might also take it badly and direct her anger toward you. xx Sarah Sarah...that thought came very strongly into my mind. Sometimes it is better not to get involved. A wise old man said.."Speech is Silver, BUT silence is Gold"
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RHP User
15 years ago
Dear all, Thanks again for putting forward the many views you have.I sinncerley hope none of u ever come across this sort of thing. The relationship has been over for a few years, so whilst it hurt, it certainly wasnt a devestation. I have changed my mind..i will inform her..at the end of the day, it will allow me to clear my conscience. I am doing it for ME... Cheers.. Maxy
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Maxking2010' Dear all, Thanks again for putting forward the many views you have.I sinncerley hope none of u ever come across this sort of thing. The relationship has been over for a few years, so whilst it hurt, it certainly wasnt a devestation. I have changed my mind..i will inform her..at the end of the day, it will allow me to clear my conscience. I am doing it for ME... Cheers.. Maxy good for you Max...personally i think your doing the right thing and to me it shows the type of man you are....a good one like has been said above...even if you dont mention you know she cheated, she will know you know now...so give her a smile as you walk out the door good luck and big hugs to you xx roxxy
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Maxking2010' Quoting 'xFunlovingx' Quoting 'animal156'Karma at its best. However, you shouldn't stoop to her level. Just tell her to be honest. How is this Karma? I think that alot of people really do misinterpret Karma. This is now MaxKings Karma...it is his chance to right a wrong that has been done to another person! And if he doesn't fix this ASAP...he will find out what true Karma is! xFunlovingx Funloving...i am a bit confused. The video's presence is not of my doing.It is there because someone chose to engage in such practices, albeit without the knowledge it was being filmed(this i am very certain of).So essentially a wrongdoing by someone has had consequences far and above what they thought it might have. Is it really my job to rectify those?, Or is it the persons responsibility and problem.Is it not Karma, that their wrong actions now place them in a spot of vulnerability? Max.. Max, I understand what you are saying and the person that filmed her...yes they have got their Karma coming...the girl that got filmed had her Karma done to her! But that is not what Karma is all about...Karma is righting a wrong. What has happened to her (you said she looked like she didn't know she was being filmed), is now YOUR Karma! You have noticed a wrong being done to this girl...and now you have the opportunity to right this wrong that was done to another human being! You have to set your feelings aside and just let her know! As you said just above...it will clear your conscience and you will be able to get on with life and not have this on your mind for all time to come! She is someone's daughter/sister and if it happened to my sister/daughter I would like someone to tell them! < Hope that makes sense! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
I think I would enjoy telling her, if I was in that situation... just saying.... have a good laugh and move on.HugsS
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hello max,, how awful for you and her, ill take it as a reminder turn the lights off and only fuck under the covers so no one can see or take a pics lol Im sure you will do what you think is right and thats all that matters thumbs up to snow shoe, 2 funny there lol Liz
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' I think I would enjoy telling her, if I was in that situation... just saying.... have a good laugh and move on.HugsS Mr S, Mate i had fun thinking of the many ways i could "surprise her with it"...but...ah..let it go....
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