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Ground Open Up And Swallow Me NOW!! Moments? Please share :)
June 04 2011
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
Was drinking quite regularly and heavily at a small bowls club on the Gold Coast (yes I did play lawn bowls people - no that isnt the funny part)...after a few months one of the guys who I had been drinking with quite regularly asked me when I was due - I mean when I say heavily drinking I mean heavily...anyway everyone around us just burst into laughter - they didnt know my intense dislike for children but had figured out that I was rubinesque...to put it politely...or in the words of an esteemed departed friend a fat chick. . I of course looked at him and asked him if he thought I was the type of person who would consume that much alcohol while so heavily pregnant...poor man....honestly if the earth could have swallowed him then I dont even think that would have saved him from the mortification he felt...I did however got a lot of free drinks from him for a few weeks while the rest of the regular crowd quickly nicknamed him Grandad . Kisses Focus NB: I have lost alot of that weight now and dont get asked that question anymore.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'focusliason' Was drinking quite regularly and heavily at a small bowls club on the Gold Coast (yes I did play lawn bowls people - no that isnt the funny part)...after a few months one of the guys who I had been drinking with quite regularly asked me when I was due - I mean when I say heavily drinking I mean heavily...anyway everyone around us just burst into laughter - they didnt know my intense dislike for children but had figured out that I was rubinesque...to put it politely...or in the words of an esteemed departed friend a fat chick. . I of course looked at him and asked him if he thought I was the type of person who would consume that much alcohol while so heavily pregnant...poor man....honestly if the earth could have swallowed him then I dont even think that would have saved him from the mortification he felt...I did however got a lot of free drinks from him for a few weeks while the rest of the regular crowd quickly nicknamed him Grandad . Kisses Focus NB: I have lost alot of that weight now and dont get asked that question anymore. Maybe he was too old and lost most of his site and got u confused with someone who was pregnant??? Yeah i had the same sorta story...I had a uni mate, she was very well known for ZERO tact, and always having both feet in her mouth, it never seemed to bother HER! So ummm 10 years had passed since we'd seen each other as she had moved to the UK, I saw her in the city as i was running an errand, she had a boyfriend in tow that i'd never met, and she calls out my name and over i go to say hi. She says are you pregnant! I said no, i've not long ago had a baby, she goes oh when are you due? no, i've not long ago had a baby, um what? you pregnant again? You look pregnant? NO I AM NOT PREGNANT THE BABY IS AT GRANDMA's!!! Her boyfriend i think was hoping the ground swallowed him whole as she hadn't even got to the introducing us part and the what have you been doing besides eating questions LOL! I was pretty used to her though, so water of a pregnant big fat belly to me!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Many years ago I was at a work do. This dude who worked for my clients company at the time, and who was super cute, was there as well. We got pretty drunk that night,and one thing turned into another and he ended up back atmy hotel room. Since we were from different states I didn't think it such an issue. Except, as these things are wont to go, we both ended up workingfor the same company and he ended up being my bosses boss! Ouch! Awkward much? Fortunately this situation didn't last too long and I'm very good at being professional even though I'm not feelingvery professional. I will never ever do anyone related to work ever again.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'HotSexyChilli'It was the phrase "I wana LICK your brain" that I texted to my mum I think you brain database has a bug at the minute hehe That wasn't as bad as one of the autocorrects my friend told me about, was texting their ma, and trying to ask if it was a particular pie for dinner, i wish i could remember the words they used, but auto correct somehow changed it to i want to lick your pussy, sent to his MUM!!!!!!! eeekkkk!!!!! So thank your lucky stars you didn't have to explain yourself out of something like that !! haha
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RHP User
15 years ago
I accidently sent a phone text to the wrong person. Now yes I know, we all do this but it was meant to be to a play friend and it ended up on my son in laws phone. Thank God it was not overtly sexual in nature. I refused to say who I was and it took a while for him to work it out. I immediately rang my stepdaughter and let her know what was going on of course and we had a few good laughs over it. I am so glad that the message was normal and not accompanied by explicit pics. No one wants to see thier mother in law quite like that.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Polar_Bear_Girl'Many years ago I was at a work do. This dude who worked for my clients company at the time, and who was super cute, was there as well. We got pretty drunk that night,and one thing turned into another and he ended up back atmy hotel room. Since we were from different states I didn't think it such an issue. Except, as these things are wont to go, we both ended up workingfor the same company and he ended up being my bosses boss! Ouch! Awkward much? Fortunately this situation didn't last too long and I'm very good at being professional even though I'm not feelingvery professional. I will never ever do anyone related to work ever again. Where is the embarrassed emoticon? I am a little sad that I am now guarded enough to know when I should go home early at a work function, or even jus skip it altogether, as I don't want to repeat past (similar) mistakes...where is the fun in that boo?! But at 36 you can hardly be given the benefit of the doubt for being too young to know better.... Maturity can be boring... But embarrassment like that is just too much excitement for me these days too haha So thank god fort RHP! Better to separate these worlds!! Have your fun and not have to regret it in the morning hehe At work it is better to be known for the good work you have done in your actual job role, not be known for errr other things that you have done at work/work functions...
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erotictouch4u
15 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee' I am so glad that the message was normal and not accompanied by explicit pics. No one wants to see thier mother in law quite like that. With a mother-in-law who looks like you fionabee it could be every son-in-law's dream ET xox
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RHP User
15 years ago
I sent a vibe to an ex- who was still on good terms..... the catch was she had her mail re-directed to her mothers house and shares the same 1st initial... yeah her mom opened it and read my note
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RHP User
15 years ago
A friend of my ex was soooooooooooo nervous about proposing to his gf, he had a beautiful speech planned "I am so lucky, you are so wonderful, yadayada"He fucked it up with the first line.Down on one knee, ring in hand, smiling up at her, takes a deep, calming breath and starts his speech with "My darling YOU are sooo lucky...."hehexx Sarah
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RHP User
15 years ago
Probably the worst was at the breakfast table one time at band camp....meaning to say "Please pass the toast" I just kind of slipped and said "You fucking bitch, you have runied the last 2 years of my life". | Shit happens.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' Probably the worst was at the breakfast table one time at band camp....meaning to say "Please pass the toast" I just kind of slipped and said "You fucking bitch, you have runied the last 2 years of my life". | Shit happens. One slip of the tongue and you are in the shit
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' Probably the worst was at the breakfast table one time at band camp....meaning to say "Please pass the toast" I just kind of slipped and said "You fucking bitch, you have runied the last 2 years of my life". | Shit happens. I am so glad I wasn't taking a sip of drink when I read that or else it may have gone everywhere.
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RHP User
15 years ago
but I'm going to try and post... . A few years back a drunk friend got hold of my mobile phone and texted 'WHEN I THINK OF YOU I GET WET' to 2 good mates of mine who had a huge laugh about it... and to the president of a local action group I was volunteering with, and who is now my local councillor. . I was humiliated when I found out. I made her call him and apologise but I still cringe when I think of him reading it.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' Probably the worst was at the breakfast table one time at band camp....meaning to say "Please pass the toast" I just kind of slipped and said "You fucking bitch, you have runied the last 2 years of my life". | Shit happens. Reminds me of me trying so hard to be amicable to my ex-husband during toddler communication, and it only takes one sideways question/tone/very little anyway and my tourette's tongue takes off and spews out similar sort of stuff...damm where is the control!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'irresponsibility' but I'm going to try and post... . A few years back a drunk friend got hold of my mobile phone and texted 'WHEN I THINK OF YOU I GET WET' to 2 good mates of mine who had a huge laugh about it... and to the president of a local action group I was volunteering with, and who is now my local councillor. . I was humiliated when I found out. I made her call him and apologise but I still cringe when I think of him reading it. It is pretty funny though... sorry He is a man, surely he loved it? You need to pay it back to your friends, sweet justice anyone? Then tell him how you made em pay, he'll find you even hotter then! Norti wet girl
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