F57
Friends with Benefits
December 10 2010
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
You should try not being in a relationship at all for 10 years. Then they run for the hills leaving a trail of dust behind them with it! They think you are weird or something is wrong with you for being single so long! It doesn't mean that I haven't had sex in the last 10 years...it's just that I have chosen to be single and have been too busy with my kids sporting lives. I guess you just can't win with some people. I HATE that question...Why have you been single for so long? What is wrong with you? GRRRRRRR xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting xFunlovingxI HATE that question...Why have you been single for so long? What is wrong with you?----------------yes gotta laugh/growl when they ask why...cause we choose to MAYBEIve been single for just over 4 years....and wow what a 4 years its been....a total re-education...I thought I knew alot but turns out I was nieveall while playing mum and keeping the two lives separate (you know what I mean)decided to go out and do most things Ive always thought about while I still have breath in me and no better time to do it than when Im single and not hurting anyoneso once you've been there and done most of that list........do end up missing the intimacy a relationship bringsbtw love reading your posts
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RHP User
15 years ago
Ok, here goes, I find it awkward when they(ie. potential or existing fb's) ask "are you seeing anyone else", the truth is I'd like to say no and that they're the one, but often is the case, for me anyway, that they're not the one, nor are they likely to become the one, but the sex is enjoyable so I keep backing up. If i feel there's a stronger connection I do lie and say "no..nobody" and then swiftly release all my fb's from my fervent grasp...leaving myself in the dire position of being with the one person hoping it will all work out, and having pissed off everyone else, only to come groveling back at a later stage if said relationship fails....oh to find someone thats a keeper!!!btw i think you are cutexxBen
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kassmebits
15 years ago
yes, agrees there is a huge double standard, and love the comments by Funloving and Mscurious. I find it in both men and women though, have the same thoughts about this, so I wont blame men altogether. It's almost a subconscious generalisation of how we are ment to think about single people, at least to some people. Kass xx
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RHP User
15 years ago
most of us guys know you can still have a sex life single, there r just closed minded, keep looking and you will find the right guy, well i hope that advice works as im still looking for the right girl, lol. but ive found girls are the same, they ask and when you say 3 yrs and then tell you had sex last week, most run. but im only keeping in practice for the one that doesnt run
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RHP User
15 years ago
I sometimes feel funny saying how long i have been single for ..( 3 years )..because it can sometimes be mistaken for a number of reasons..Unable to committ, loves playing the field, butt ugly, gay, you name it ..I just like being single, simple..
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Taipan12' I sometimes feel funny saying how long i have been single for ..( 3 years )..because it can sometimes be mistaken for a number of reasons..Unable to committ, loves playing the field, butt ugly, gay, you name it ..I just like being single, simple.. Taipan your butt is one of the reasons many of us spend hours staring at your profile or trolling the forums.....definately not an ugly one at that... On topic though...I havent been single all that long (approaching 1 year) but do understand how those who have been single for longer feel..its one of many awkward moments and questions people can ask...yet due to the lack of time I have been single people seem to think I must be still greiving the relationship ending and thus not ready to move on..WTF???? I am slowly learning the people are going to ask these annoying and uncomfortable questions and usually try to turn them around on them... why should we be the only ones uncomfortable? Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
I never ask that question. To me its totally irrelevant, and not something you ask anyway. If i get asked, i generally ask why they want to know..then tell them the truth.If thats a problem for them....c ya later.
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RHP User
15 years ago
from a married point of view ( ok start shooting now target on my forehead or groin area) if you are single and have been active in the date field then how can that be single you are probably getting more in the sack action then the average commited couple .....and I an seriously recomending RHP to married friends not to be seen as cheaters or anything that may get us slung onto hot coals or anything but for the education ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, One to see how good some have it by having someone perminent in their lives two to see how everyone on here has a lust for the other sex ( something that dies with the wedding cake eating aand children arriving ) Three there are so many honest and good people on here its just enjoyment to be a part of everything If you are realy interested in finding someone they are out there its just like fishing ,use the right bait throw back the ones you dont like and keep only what you need Andy xxxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Available BusyInvisibleSign out of chatI find myself having to use these options regularly as i can't seem to find someone to settle with, for at least long enough to call it a relationship...with so many 'friends' and always meeting more it's a silly question single or not, why can't it be "so do you see yourself being with me in front of all your others?"
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have a male friend that I met through perfectly normal methods. He would never dream of being on a site like this and my little drawer of toys has an endless facination for him. I think I am a little bit of a revelation for this man. He is in his early 50's, has never married nor had children but has been in several long term relationships even becoming engaged a few times along the way. Now, he knows I play a bit and never fails to ask me how my love life is. We discussed this once and I told him that if ever I found THE ONE...I would give all this away and remain faithful to one man. He understands that. He has no problems with it either. None of my girlfriends nor the family members who know have a problem with this concept either. If I was talking to a man that did, then I think I would find them extremely closed minded and not the sort of person I would settle for anyway. If anyone asks, I tell them I have been on my own for four years now and most never bother to take it any further than that. I am also very good at answering a question with a question and thereby throwing the onus back on them if asked something like ...when was the last time you had sex.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have a male friend that I met through perfectly normal methods. He would never dream of being on a site like this and my little drawer of toys has an endless facination for him. I think I am a little bit of a revelation for this man. He is in his early 50's, has never married nor had children but has been in several long term relationships even becoming engaged a few times along the way. Now, he knows I play a bit and never fails to ask me how my love life is. We discussed this once and I told him that if ever I found THE ONE...I would give all this away and remain faithful to one man. He understands that. He has no problems with it either. None of my girlfriends nor the family members who know have a problem with this concept either. If I was talking to a man that did, then I think I would find them extremely closed minded and not the sort of person I would settle for anyway. If anyone asks, I tell them I have been on my own for four years now and most never bother to take it any further than that. I am also very good at answering a question with a question and thereby throwing the onus back on them if asked something like ...when was the last time you had sex.
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RHP User
15 years ago
yes its the one question that I dont see the point of askingof course we all have a past......who careswhat should that matter......it doesnt effect who we areI didnt become this good in the bedroom by reading magazines and knittinglol according to methanks to all who have had their input.....keep it going
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RHP User
15 years ago
how long have you been single?- as long as it took to meet you? - as long as its been since I last met someone I wanted to stay with?its not a time argument, its an understanding of readyness to go forward... to move onwhen did you last have sex?thats a different animal... why do you care? when did you last masterbate? when did you last shower? when did you last call your mother?the sentiment doenst mathc the question at that level.If you want a real question ask for the reason of the question....when did I last have sex?Why do you want to know?it was the last time... not the next.LS
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RHP User
15 years ago
Loads of double standards out there on all sides. I know it's been a strange adventure for me over the last 12 months as I've finally moved on from "the wife" and into exploring what is out there. I think the best you can do is to be as open and honest with the people you meet about where you are at in your life. If they accept it - GREAT they are ones to have around. If they don't accept it - Move on - THEY are not worthy of your friendship. Good luck in your search MsCurious68 - your profile seems to be straight up and I'm sure you'll find what you want out there hugs Wayne x
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RHP User
15 years ago
Personally if your wanting to get to know someone then its about knowing someone not when they had they last shagEveryone has a past..some a bit more colourful than othersbut that doesnt change the person they are"the question" is one that I dont ask" and its not relevantlol hell I didnt become a great lover by knitting and reading tv week..well I think so but yes your right if they cant handle the fact that Im not waiting round and growing moss then thats their losshugs allmsc
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RHP User
15 years ago
mscurious, My last long term relationship ended 11 years ago. The reason I am single is because I don't want to enter into a relationship with someone who isn't right for me. I don't see any point in that. That is the answer I give. If someone wants to know when I last had sex, I tell them it is rude to ask and none of their business.
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RHP User
15 years ago
heya, well i have been single fora long time, not by choice, i would love the chance to meet new people, and have some fun on the side, or just meet for some fun. point is everyone is different, i have been on here for 4-5 years now, and still never had anyone contact me to meet opr anything else. dont get me wrong not looking for sympathy, just that people often skip guys like me. anywho feel free to check out my profile or msg me.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I've met loads of incredible people from this site - some I've had the fortune to play with, others I've simply shared coffee with and yet more that I've only ever shared email and MSN with. For the most part it's been a great experience for sure. I've learnt however that it is very much what you put into it that determines what you get out of it. I've chosen to contribute to the forums where I can and that has meant people get to know me better than just reading my profile. It works for me mate - I'd suggest giving it a go yourself and see what you might get out of it :-) Wayne
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RHP User
15 years ago
Ive made some great friends/mates on here (men and women)so it hasn't all been about sexbut have had some fun along the waybeen an eye opener as well as a mighty fine journeythe forum has been a fun way in learning new stuff and I have been totally re-educatedthanks to RHP..as well as adding my input shows a totally different side to people much more than reading the profiles
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RHP User
15 years ago
geeee some people ask way too many questions the wrong way and then wonder why people often fib or don't know what to say..... lol! how about, the next time someone asks you "when was the last time you had sex?" be abit cheeky and just say "right now I am not thinking of the LAST time I had it, but the NEXT time I am...." vaavoom!! ;) that should throw them off guard.... lol!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Now to that part of your question.... It has been 2 years for me since I had sex! Well, not counting the 2 pump wonder 3 weeks back, he doesn't even count as my cob webs were not even disturbed haha! Guys do get intrigued with why it has been so long...but with kids basketball commitments (son had commitments 7 days a week last season and this season it is only 6 days) it is hard....and before you know it....2 years has come and gone! I can't meet up with guys at a drop of a hat...and I am first and foremost a mother! Don't get me wrong...I love sex....and miss sex sooooooooo much, but at the moment Duracell are making a mint out of me! When I do get regular sex I will be sure to send them a sympathy card haha! BUT, I have been chatting to a guy for a while and while he was telling me about all his conquests with other girls when I told him about the Tradie he went off his head! I mean, WTF? So yes, I do feel that people have double standards, it is ok for you to wait for them with cobwebs growing...but don't expect the same from them! Love your posts too MsC xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'MissSuziWong'be abit cheeky and just say "right now I am not thinking of the LAST time I had it, but the NEXT time I am...." vaavoom!! ;) that should throw them off guard.... lol! I am so going to use that line! LOVE IT! xFunlovingx
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