M55 F49

Fook Dat

July 12 2010

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.' The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. 'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry. The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box. Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass. At the Connor Pass , Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, 'Dis looks like a grand place..' He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff. Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead. Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, 'Fook dat. Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n dangerous for me!' THERE'S MORE... Moment's later; Seamus arrives up at ConnorPass.He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other. 'Hi, Paddy, watch dis,' Seamus says. He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free. He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun. Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot. Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body. Paddy shakes his head and says, 'And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either!' IT IS NOT OVER YET... Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken. Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine. Once more Paddy shakes his head. 'Fook dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting... And now Sean and his fook'n hengliding!'

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RHP User

15 years ago

.....for the chuckles

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RHP User

15 years ago

tis makin me giggle to be sure

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RHP User

15 years ago

to be sure, to be sure.ahahahahahahahahahahaahahhahahahaahahahaFunny one easiesEarl

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RHP User

15 years ago

Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses and lies on the bed spread-eagled and says 'You know what I want don't you?' 'Yeah,' says Paddy. 'The whole friggin bed by the looks of it!' Paddy the electrician got sacked from the US prison service for not servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap! Paddy and his wife are lying in bed and the neighbour's dog is barking like mad in the garden. Paddy says 'To hell with this!' and storms off. He comes back upstairs five minutes later and his wife asks, 'What did you do?' Paddy replies, 'I've put the dog in our garden, lets see how they like it!' Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have Bluetongue. 'Be Jeysus!' he said, 'I didn't even know they had mobile phones!'

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RHP User

15 years ago

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking and discussing how stupid their wives were. The Englishman says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a freezer to keep it in." The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. "Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn't even know how to drive!" The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both fell out of the stupid tree and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "Ah, it kills me every toime oi tink of it," he chuckles. "Moy woife just left to go on a holiday in Greece. Oy watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there. And she doesn't even have a penis!"

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RHP User

15 years ago

Paddy is newly married and takes his gushing bride on a honeymoon. their first night they start to get alittle randy and being their first time and paddy being nervous he suggests they keep the light on.His wife agrees and they tear each others clothes off throwing them around the room.In her excitement to remove Paddys pants she pulls really hard and Paddys prosthetic foot comes off in the pant leg.Having never known about this Paddys wife is distraught and runs out the hotel room and drives strait home.She runs into her mother in the kitchen and sobs franticly.Her mother asks "darling why are you crying? this is your honeymoon it should be romantic and you should be making passionate love with paddy. What is wrong? is it Paddy?"Her daughter sobs "It's Paddy he's only got one foot"Her mother puts the plate in her hand down and unties her apron and hangs it over the bench.She collects her purse and car keys off the bench and as she's approaching the door she's stopped by her daughter" where are you going ?"Her mother turns to her daughter "you dont know how lucky you are, your father only has 6 inches"

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RHP User

15 years ago

hahaha finally a joke i havent heard before pmsl good ones

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RHP User

15 years ago

I hav'nt managed to get past that lovely derriere yet to read the jokes.Cheers Nev.......somewhat distracted.

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RHP User

15 years ago

Found dead in a brick.

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Fook Dat

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