Feminine of the couple

Comments

• 

  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Its a fine lineMy partner remains fairly neutral and will respond if the woman flirts with him but we have learned that all people are different. Some women enjoy the attention while some dont. Its also difficult as we certainly dont know how the other guy will respond if he shows any interest beyond the group context. I dont like it when other women flirt with him oveertly or if they message him on their own. For us its about a group experience and see it as an extenion of our relationship. We are really new to this though and so are still learning. I had a woman actually flirt with me which was new and i loved it. None of the guys flirt with me either when we meet but i again think thats not from lack of interest but more they dont know how the guy or their own partner may respond.Mischa

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  8 years ago

  I amy be wrong i often am lol

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  8 years ago

  They know if they if they start talking BS, your partner will sniff it out? Maybe they think its a done deal already? Id be asking the next guy to bring along his keyboard as it gives him more confidence. :) I have a question..........In your profile it says HSV positive. What does that mean? An interest in Holden Commodores?

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  8 years ago

  HSV positive means herpes. - Posted from rhpmobile

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Try being the guy in a couple relationship. Most times people can act as if your not evan there. - Posted from rhpmobile

  reply

  like

• 

  AnnieWhichway

  8 years ago

  In the mix of 2 other women and one of their partners, needs to be a psychologist, United nations peace spokesman, a sex therapist, a massage therapist, a clairvoyant, an aerial trapeze artist, stand up comedian and have a great pair of runners for getting the fuck out of there.....

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  8 years ago

  I had a complete and utter brain fade. Almost the complete catastrophe Quoting 'libbylou2' HSV positive means herpes. - Posted from rhpmobile

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  8 years ago

  I tend to play it cool until I see how my wife is feeling about it all, it’s not through lack of interest or effort but making sure we’re on the same page. We also find an over eager male of the couple a turn off, there’s a line between confident flirting and pushy sleaze that gets crossed too often. Annie is certainly onto something too lol Mr D - Posted from rhpmobile

  reply

  like

• 

  nightingale8

  8 years ago

  The last comment made me laugh. Being one, I'll stick my neck out and point out the casual racism 😄 As I understand it, it's rude for the man to openly hit on the girl of the other couple without first seeking 'permission' from the man (and his partner). Call it sexist or what you like but that's what I understand to be the protocol. It's simultaneously the women's role to be the instigators. We're not threatening. The guy's not flirting with you? Flirt with him. Invite him. And for goodness sake if that's what youn want, communicate! - Posted from rhpmobile

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Loved your comment Aniie Whichway.. Witty & Classy LoL. Regards PetaPan

  reply

  like

• 

  FredAndGinger2

  8 years ago

  We need to feel that both parties are interested in both of us and that conversation, fun and flirting happens naturally. Annie - your comment is perfectly said! - Posted from rhpmobile

  reply

  like

• 

  technologic

  8 years ago

  Some good points here but I think I need to clarify here that it's not just flirting I'm looking for. Just plain curiosity and an interest about someone else is perhaps a subtly different thing which I'm missing in most of our interactions both virtually and (the few times it's proceeded past that stage) in person. You know.. that feeling of needing to drag the conversation along..? I feel I'm often the one initiating interesting/daring questions to break the ice & encourage discussion. They may respond positively but then don't take up the momentum? Perhaps it's a matter of readjusting my expectations? Because everyone's main aim is sex that they don't want to waste time on mental stimulation? Or perhaps I have a distorted belief that I am a fascinating person and how can people not find talking to me enthralling??? 😅 On the topic of flirting though, I have to admit I'm probably pretty terrible at it. Well mainly because it's such a new thing for me to do it in front of my partner. It feels so strange!! That may also explain why I would hide behind intellectual conversation instead of straight out flirting. But I know if they can get me intellectually revved up the rest will follow... Too many lecturer crushes! Nightingale8: yup! You're right! ;) Just testing the waters but hopefully at my own expense rather than others.. apologies if it came across otherwise. Doubleup282: you're right about the overly eager thing. It's not easy! Hence why I'm pointing at just healthy curiosity rather than flirting (which in my head has stronger sexual energy but that is subjective too). And yes, it's not easy on men... I wish there is such a thing as a finishing school for all men/boys to go & learn these subtle skills. And I would like learn how to communicate what i want better too without embarrassing myself or getting lost in translation! - Posted from rhpmobile

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  8 years ago

  If I approach a couple, I talk to them as fellow equal human beings, on a social basis, hoping they show a further interest in me. I might ask about what they are seeking to find. But as for showing interest via flirting, I certainly relate to being very cautious, as even though said couple I might know are swingers at a swingers meeting, I am also very aware of the blurred and overlapping line between flirting and sexual harassment. So my confidence is still not high in that regard unless/until I already know someone. But yes I do try to get to know you, as a person, partnered or not, but maybe sometimes it might come across as only a platonic interest? Still testing the waters... - Posted from rhpmobile

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Yes that may be true you give equal attention but when you have a 115 kilo law enforcement officer who kicks my ass in the gym and i work full time in the gym at the meeting it can change the equation. We are really new to this but have found when we meet someone a couple or a girl that 1 i am intimidating to the female or my partner does to the guy even though he is a pussycat unless poked lol We havent had either sex flirt with us yet when we have met but are looking forward to it. I really think though that it is hard to show attraction or flirt when you dont know someone let alone have two gym fit educated genuine eople turn up!Im nearly 6 foot and tower over women and have had to deal with that all my life.My partner is fitr and has the gift of the gab and have always felt women flock to him we are yet to go the full swap but are looking for the couple to try that Happy to hear other peoples experience We went to one meet and greet and my partner was waiting outside and people were asking him if they could go in and he said sure why not we didnt realise later that they thought we were security lolMischa

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Yes that may be true you give equal attention but when you have a 115 kilo law enforcement officer who kicks my ass in the gym and i work full time in the gym at the meeting it can change the equation. We are really new to this but have found when we meet someone a couple or a girl that 1 i am intimidating to the female or my partner does to the guy even though he is a pussycat unless poked lol We havent had either sex flirt with us yet when we have met but are looking forward to it. I really think though that it is hard to show attraction or flirt when you dont know someone let alone have two gym fit educated genuine eople turn up!Im nearly 6 foot and tower over women and have had to deal with that all my life.My partner is fitr and has the gift of the gab and have always felt women flock to him we are yet to go the full swap but are looking for the couple to try that Happy to hear other peoples experience We went to one meet and greet and my partner was waiting outside and people were asking him if they could go in and he said sure why not we didnt realise later that they thought we were security lolMischa

  reply

  like

• 

  nightingale8

  8 years ago

  The forums are a space for me to feel morally superior are they not? Just kidding. Swinging is tough since the aim is to build intimacy within a group setting. Which is why I advocate just swapping partners for the night and coming back at the end of the night with stories to tell! Getting sparks together in a group can be done of course as many couples here can attest. But I think you are right, getting that mental connection isn't easy. Just consider the mathematics of it - when it's just you and your partner there is ONE relationship to manage. When there are two couples, there are SIX relationships to manage (FF, MM, couple 1, couple 2, MF1 together, MF2 together - hope that makes sense). It's exponential the more couples you add. You only need one of those relationships to sour to make it an unpleasant experience. So if you are looking for next level mental fireworks, just remember the odds are stacked against you ;) - Posted from rhpmobile

  reply

  like

• 

  technologic

  8 years ago

  Thanks for the optimistic maths lesson nightingale8! 😂 Thanks for sharing your experiences Xena and countrytouch - good to hear the male perspective. Perhaps might be time to consider going on a meet-up date on my own as an experiment. 😜 - Posted from rhpmobile

  reply

  like