M43
Fails
August 04 2012
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
Have always come out with spoonerisms, worse now that I am getting older. Was concerned about a mother and infant breast feeding. Thought was, is he sucking/feeding, asked the mother was he fucking? Could at least asked if he was seeding!
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RHP User
13 years ago
I snorted with laughter when I read your post - karma got me because I lost the contents of my mouthful of coffee down my new white top and nearly choked doing it! I have many, many 'fails' some epic lol Kind of like, if it's going to happen to anyone it will be me.Have come off my motorbike going around a corner... doing about 5km a hour Was so embarrassed and made worse when I tried to pick her up and she didn't budge.. until the second attempt an adrenalin surge kicked in and I literally threw her on to the other side... *sigh*Many, many years ago (when long skirts and the nautical theme was in... ) I was walking up Rokeby Road and got hit by wind (anyone in Perth will understand about Rokeby Road and St Georges Tce is the other one) and my full, ankle length skirt got blown straight up around my ears. The damn thing felt like it was vacuumed sealed to my head! I could not get the bloody thing down. Visualise a young blonde playing wrestlemania with her own skirt around her head - kind of like Elaine dancing in Seinfeld... was much to the amusement of the lunch time crowd - much to my embarrassment.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Im the original sexy clutz one minute I'm rocking a pair of sky high heels and a fitted skirt......and the next the point of my heel sinks into a hot chip some bastard has dropped on the shopping centre floor and Im on my back !!!!There was nothing to save me, nothing to grab onto on the way down to somehow recover, it was just me ....disappearing legs and a pair of spinning arms (geez i still cringe at the thought) I remember laying there wishing the floor would just swallow me whole, because I knew there was no way i was going to be able to get up without flashing my breakfast , I looked like a baby giraffe with legs in awkward positions and knees bent at wrong angles to try and hang onto my last bit of dignity I dont know if anyone was laughing (Im sure they were cos I would have) I think i had gone deaf with shock and horrification LOL
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RHP User
13 years ago
One epic fail ... walking the main street of Adelaide a few years back .. and a combination of Pantyhose, Skirt and longer than average shoulder bag .. Seems the bag and skirt wanted to have an affair ... and allowed the showing of of the underwear in the process as the skirt kept riding up with increased static electricity and clinging to the bag .. totally unbeknown to me until a passer-by advised me .. by this time I had walked probably 4-5 blocks before finding out .. Big turning point .. dont think I have worn a skirt or dress since ..
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RHP User
13 years ago
I get the motorbike fail too..20 years ago. 2am, angry words with lover. Wet road. Left turn. Off and slides into a pudle by the edge of the road. 2 blokes in a HR Holden pull up and say "Hey man are you ok"."yeah thanks mate, but I'd be better if I'd not left my stand down" :-P@Otori I hope the dumplings survived?? :-)
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RHP User
13 years ago
... by my house mates when I passed out cold in the bathroom. Spread eagle & naked; oh the shame :-( Oh yeah, and my house mates were both male - yup! KK xx
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RHP User
13 years ago
Haha, I've done that one as well before. Very embarrassing!And yes Red, the dumplings survived, they were quite yummy actually.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Was working for a very male dominated company (8 women to about 300 men) when walking in the "hallway" of an open plan office, I dropped a pen. As you do when wearing 4 inch stiletto heels and a tight skirt, you do the girly thing and bend your knees to sit as close to the floor to pick it up, when I heard a massive rip. Everyone in the office heard the tear, and lo and behold, the meerkat manor was transported. Everyone was looking at me. The back of my skirt had split up to the very top. I couldn't get up without showing half my backside. Made it worse by me doing the "duck-walk" in heels all the way to my office. (I still think now, why didn't I just stand up and gave them all a show - oh well)I still get teased every time I go for a catch-up drink with them. As this was not the first occurrence, I now sew the back of my skirts about 10 times before wearing them.
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RHP User
13 years ago
....... one moment springs to mind when I was in a long distance relationship. I also had a friend with the same name. Having sent a very steamy text to my loved one, I noticed, after I hit the "send" button that two numbers did not come up for me to choose from as usual. After checking my messages, I followed up with a very apologetic message, explaining the message was not meant for him. What made it even worse, it was a friend who had made me a very intimate offer (which I had refused) recently. You'd think I'd have learnt the first tim, however, I went ahead and made the same mistake a few weeks later (different boyfriend, different friend). I didn't realise it had gone wrong until I received a message that read "Oh wow!! Is that message really for me?"
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RHP User
13 years ago
There was a bar just under my room. Its full of hot Greek god type of guys. I am there with my sketch book and they start crowding around all interested. I think its getting a bit cold I think I need to put my shawl on stand up to get it off the back of my chair and fart like a trooper. yep they were no longer interested in my art or any other part of me either for that matter!
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RHP User
13 years ago
I was turning the bike around to back it into the garage. I took it onto the grass (which as a bit wet) and came back to the pavement. As the front wheel hit the edge of the driveway, it shot out from under me (I should probably mow more often). So down I went. One snapped clutch lever, one dislocated shoulder and one severely bruised ego.
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RHP User
13 years ago
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far....well, actually, just over the border in NSW, I went for my first and only ride on a motorbike. After being briefed by the owner as to how the controls worked, I straddled the hog, and started the engine. Kicking into first gear, I released the clutch whilst adding throttle, and promptly stalled. So I started it again. And stalled again.After about half-a-dozen attempts, I finally managed to take off on the bike, only to put the thing under a car. A parked car. About 50 feet from where I'd started.
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RHP User
13 years ago
The perils of killer heels, eh girls? I have my own heel fail story, a few months back. Striding down George Street in Sydney on a busy Friday night, head held high, walking with purpose, short, tight skirt and skyscraper stilettos ahoy. Chose that moment to step onto a pile of wet leaves.I have never quite flown as spectacularly as I did that night.
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RHP User
13 years ago
A few years ago I went for a job interview,the chair they sat me in was very low and had leather ''slings" instead of arms.At the end of the interview I used my heels to propel myself out of the chair and into the lap of one of the interviewers. I started to laugh,they didn't,but I still managed to get the job.x Hugs H
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WHY_NOT_LOOK
13 years ago
Well this just happened on Saturday night at Cis i was watching in the open room i dropped my bag under me not thinking at all.... then my friend came up behind and started to stir things up very nicely i stood there and kept squirting it wasnt until i turned around to go down on him i squatted down on my drenched handbag...... All good thou my phone still is worrking and it gave us all a good laugh... you would think someone watching would have been kind enough to move it over for me thou...lol..... Great night at Cis for the sexpo after party lots of eye openers for the new visitors im sure they will be back maybe not the guy i whipped in the cam room thou... but gee it was a good giggle
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RHP User
13 years ago
I was working for a company and we had a display in a shopping centre. I was chatting to some customers from interstate and they started asking me about freighting to their state, without thinking I said "I wouldn't do that it would cost you an arm and a leg!" That's when I realised one of the guys hadone of his arms amputated from the elbow down!! God I wished the ground could've swallowed me up then...
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RHP User
13 years ago
lolLRE *giggle* really not what you needed after a tiff sheesh! (I have a stand story too.. but involves needing rescuing in front of a huge crowd when I couldnt get it off the main full stand (grass/sandy area) I took off so quick I fishtailed for a bit.. heart was racing.. so embarrassing!Jensman *chuckle* you know I bet the bruised ego was the most painful of them all :( I soooo get that scenario lolManly I have to admit to laughing out loud at yours, probably because of what I said above to LRE - I nearly lost it again out of frustration/embarrassment and wanting to get out of the view of all those people. I swear I could hear the adrenalin pumping through my body ;p
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RHP User
13 years ago
saturday morning - me on an early shovel harley.. 2 young ladies standing outside a shop in kalgoorlie I thought.. yum.. watch this.. I pulled up and reversed the bike into the curb.. idle well tuned shovel. thump thump.. pause.. thump thump pause.. very good sound.. sounds like they have stopped.. then they thump thump again.. :) turned off fuel.. in neutral.. feet on ground.. thump thump pause.. gloves off, helmet off.. i KNEW the girls were watching AND impressed... thump thump pause.. Stay seated on bike still idling for added expression.. then... Turn off engine.. and step off bike... turn to look at my admiring viewers...and yep.. you got it LRE.. opposite of you... *Crash* NO SIDE STAND DOWN :) They pissed themselves laughing.. well.. I HAD to also didnt I? :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Yet another motorbike fail!!! I was on the first day of big across Oz trip for the Motogp last year and stopped for fuel with my mate at Southern Cross. Fuel in bike then park in shady /slightly sloped parking area. Get tucker and lob back to bike to sit and eat. Hoist my backside onto the seat and promptly fall over backwards as the bike sinks on its suspension and push over my mates near new bike!!!! Broken mirror and brake lever on mates bike. Brokn indicator and huge scratches on my brand new tourer and luggage. Pie with dead horse stain on front of gear and flies following me for a few days after... Mike ps one of many idiot moments with bikes.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'DontGrabThat'Im the original sexy clutz one minute I'm rocking a pair of sky high heels and a fitted skirt......and the next the point of my heel sinks into a hot chip some bastard has dropped on the shopping centre floor and Im on my back !!!!There was nothing to save me, nothing to grab onto on the way down to somehow recover, it was just me ....disappearing legs and a pair of spinning arms (geez i still cringe at the thought) I remember laying there wishing the floor would just swallow me whole, because I knew there was no way i was going to be able to get up without flashing my breakfast , I looked like a baby giraffe with legs in awkward positions and knees bent at wrong angles to try and hang onto my last bit of dignity I dont know if anyone was laughing (Im sure they were cos I would have) I think i had gone deaf with shock and horrification LOL 4 drinks in hand, crowded exclusive bar, hair looking good, feeling the female eyes boring into me, got the john travolta strut, trips over door threshold leading onto balcony, drinks fly into "d" list celebrity and ex football player. flat on back, then mate draws an imaginery chalk outline around me and at the same time yelling out "crime scene - step back, dickhead police on their way". go me!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
I've known a few blokes to put bikes down the road.. Usually because they were not paying attention or hooning.. Usually scratches and bruises only..But Jensmans' story made me remember a mate who was riding up the back path, to join us all for a BBQ. Around the wood pile. Oops look out for that stray block of jarrah!!Front wheel lost, down he goes..Broken collarbone and a massive dent in his nearly new helmet (those fuckers obviously work). All at 3kph.. We really shouldn't have laughed.. But it was so hard not to.
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RHP User
13 years ago
In my early twentys at the time, asked this gorgeous girl with long beautifull hair out to dinner at a very well known trendy restaurant . When we arrived they ushered us straight to the bar for a few drinks. We sipped on a few Harvey Wallbangers and became really warm and cosy... Along with dinner we had a few bottles of nice red. Needless to say we were pretty intoxicated.. We had a few slow dances and started to become quite amorous, plenty of kissing rubbing on a very dimly lit dancefloor.. All of a sudden the band picks up and we were into it.. As most girls are good dancers, my girl starts wiggling around and around up and down when all of a sudden she stays down and I can feel this tugging feeling... Somehow' her long hair became caught in my zipper.. Dont ask me how.. so there we are on the dance floor with her down at my fly trying to untangle herself in this dim light Then ' the music stops and this lady comes over to tell us to behave ourselves.. We're both laughing and embarrased at the same time.. Anyway' after finally getting untangled, we sat down , finished our drink then promptly left.. laughing all the way... Great night with a great girl...PS There is a part 2 to this.. just as funny, and on the same night... maybe another time...
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RHP User
13 years ago
You're nicked son!!! Bahaha you have me tears!! I have more......god do I have more :/ Once when working on Carlisle St , standing around waiting for my tram in gale force winds (what is it with that road?). It was kicking the dust n all sorts of crap into the air .....as the tram pulls to a stop and a nice man in a suit steps aside to let me board first .....I look up to say thank you and give him a smile when a sheet of frikkin newspaper comes flying my way and wraps around my bloody head :/............. It was almost like the spider dance only much more public.
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RHP User
13 years ago
... almost wet myself reading that!!! KK xx
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RHP User
13 years ago
A tribute to those who have come before me and prepared the audience so that they are a little bit de-sensitised to 'those moments': In summary, I reckon that if I don't wear my stilettos whilst riding a motor bike, take it carefully, not run towards a glass doorway, don't turn on grass or gravel, nor tread on leaves or a banana skin ...I should be okay!Rox
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RHP User
13 years ago
My driveway is long and made of gravel. I came back from shopping and gave the throttle a bit of a jab, got the car drifting and promptly lost it in a tankslapper! I narrowly avoided hitting the other cars and managed to get the car to go in the direction of the paddock but forgot about the drainage ditch. I managed to bang and bump my way across the ditch (without killing the suspension), did a couple of embarrassed donuts and brought the car to a slow crawl. My partner will never let me live that one down.Hadn't been on an ice rink for nearly 20 years but the figure skates still fitted so on to the ice I went. No, I didn't go straight over on my butt, I was doing quite well and felt quite confident. That was my downfall. Despite being waaay out of practice I tried a simple jump and came down hard on my knees. On the plus side the guy that helped me up was pretty cute.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'MistressT'My driveway is long and made of gravel. I came back from shopping and gave the throttle a bit of a jab, got the car drifting and promptly lost it in a tankslapper! I narrowly avoided hitting the other cars and managed to get the car to go in the direction of the paddock but forgot about the drainage ditch. I managed to bang and bump my way across the ditch (without killing the suspension), did a couple of embarrassed donuts and brought the car to a slow crawl. My partner will never let me live that one down. This reminded me of the time when I lived 25 klms out in the middle of nowhere on a farming property. After some rain, I took on an S bend a little (well.....maybe a lot then) faster than I should have and when I realised it was all going to go bad if I didn't do something, I hit the brakes (maybe a little too hard??). Lost control of my ute, went through a ditch, came out of the ditch airborne (dukes of hazard would have been proud of me), bounced across a paddock (somehow managing to steer it between the few trees in there) and landed with a thud and tyres nicely implanted in the mud. My land lord had to come and help me out. He couldn't figure out how I got there without rolling it and I inherited a few nicknames after that incident. As for stilletos.......my first pair I wore when I was 12 and a junior bridesmaid at my sister's wedding. My sister's wedding video has a nice opening of the elegant bridesmaid exiting my parents front door, teetering on heels and in long dresses across the front verandah and the first once toppling down the stairs and landing on her bum on the front lawn.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I'm thinking we should just take all the stands of motorbikes.. After reading this, I've decided they are too much risk LOL..It's interesting how many bike stories have made their way into this thread :-)And very very strangely, It makes me miss owning a bike. How's that work?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'LittleRedEngine'It's interesting how many bike stories have made their way into this thread :-) I've had my fair share of those too. I think it comes with the territory.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'wiccan_beltane' Quoting 'MistressT' This reminded me of the time when I lived 25 klms out in the middle of nowhere on a farming property. After some rain, I took on an S bend a little (well.....maybe a lot then) faster than I should have and when I realised it was all going to go bad if I didn't do something, I hit the brakes (maybe a little too hard??). Lost control of my ute, went through a ditch, came out of the ditch airborne (dukes of hazard would have been proud of me), bounced across a paddock (somehow managing to steer it between the few trees in there) and landed with a thud and tyres nicely implanted in the mud. My land lord had to come and help me out. He couldn't figure out how I got there without rolling it and I inherited a few nicknames after that incident. We'll just have to call you Daisy. lol
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RHP User
13 years ago
Always doing the walking into glass thing...my dad always said that if I play with that thing too much i would go blind
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hi diwata Are there any positions available at your office ? I sure would like to partake is seeing your hot little bum on a weekly basis, he'll I would even drop the pen for you ;-) lol Certainly hope you werent wearing your Bridgette Jones underwear lol
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'LittleRedEngine'I'm thinking we should just take all the stands of motorbikes.. After reading this, I've decided they are too much risk LOL..It's interesting how many bike stories have made their way into this thread :-)And very very strangely, It makes me miss owning a bike. How's that work? Well LRE I can only say NEVER sell your bike unless you are getting a new one. Enjoy riding again they are so much better in handling, braking, performance, ABS. Take a training course and do a day at the track. Mike
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RHP User
13 years ago
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'DontGrabThat' You're nicked son!!! Bahaha you have me tears!! I have more......god do I have more :/ Once when working on Carlisle St , standing around waiting for my tram in gale force winds (what is it with that road?). It was kicking the dust n all sorts of crap into the air .....as the tram pulls to a stop and a nice man in a suit steps aside to let me board first .....I look up to say thank you and give him a smile when a sheet of frikkin newspaper comes flying my way and wraps around my bloody head :/............. It was almost like the spider dance only much more public. Meeka xxx
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