F61
Enlighten me
August 15 2012
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
Couldn't really tell you Bella, but I've found the same thing on here with someone before. Met up once with someone on here, thought everything went pretty well then the person decided against any further contact. Hey was all good but like you said, it seems to go both ways.
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RHP User
13 years ago
it simply is a one off event,I never have one night stands intentionally,however I do give auditionsx Hugs H
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RHP User
13 years ago
I don't go out to have a one off but if its not that good it tends to become a one off. It maybe a cabitibility thing or it just might be that I'm not that into her. I know women can be the same. Also if it's just sex I'm not going to contact everyday. If so that would be a relationship.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Nope. For me interest is interest. Interest one day is interest the next. The only exception is when folks do something so unattractive that I completely reconsider my initial attraction. But that is very rare. Nope, on my end, it seems people lose interest much more frequently than I lose interest in them...
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RHP User
13 years ago
Realistically speaking, this is not your normal dating site so one should not expect too much from one date, if however there is chemistry then fortune has shined upon you. There are many reasons for people being on this site, some for one night stands some for a more regular rendezvous and in some cases a little more serious if you are lucky but in all it might be best not to expect too much and just enjoy the moment, if any more comes out if it then run with it.
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RHP User
13 years ago
If that's there, the interest is there from one night to the next. No connection = no interest to begin with..
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belladonna888
13 years ago
ok i may not have made myself to clear on this , i have no problem on the call back lol its the messaging on here , before the meet , im all for the 1 nighter , if i wanted more eharmony lol
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RHP User
13 years ago
It's pretty obvious, isn't it? Meet, fuck, then no further contact = he's / she's just not that into you. The disappointing thing in my view is that people will go ahead and fuck someone they're not really interested in, for the sake of a fuck. That's when people end up feeling used and like a piece of meat - through deception, pretense, self-interest. If you don't like the person enough to fuck them a second time there's a fairly sure bet you don't like them enough to do it the first time, and you're just doing it to get yourself off. I'm sure occasionally there are situations where the attraction is strong but the act is disappointing, or even that both parties agree it's one-off, meaningless and no further contact is expected. But really, most of the time, how hard is a bit of courtesy? I often think to myself "I wonder how you'd feel if someone treated your son/daughter/brother/sister/best friend etc the way you treat men/women". Just my ramblings ... :)
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Smilingwithfun
13 years ago
Hey Halcyon your ramblings are spot on. Treat someone as you would want to be treated. Communicate what you want & what they want,hey we are adults.Some can do the one night,just a matter of not leading someone on,everyone has feelings& our own are not the most important when interacting with someone else.For me part of the joy of the first time is the anticapation of the 2nd,or should i say the hope of a 2nd.
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RHP User
13 years ago
My main reason for losing interest is when I find myself doing all the work, for example I write three paragraphs and get a three word answer, over and over.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I lost my phone and my internet connection was a little dicky .. 2 weeks later Hey how are you .. wahts been happening Wana catch up ????
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RHP User
13 years ago
I have to admit I have done this . It is not easy but to turn down some one when you know its easy to do the deed. It however is easier if you know this is a poor choice for both of you. It is not that easy to say to someone you have only just met "you bring out the worst in me" especially when its true. So I send a polite message and decline any further dates.I can understand their disappointment as I have the same feelings when it happens to me. I just find it counter productive to sleep with someone I don't feel drawn to. Poor sex for her and disappoinment for both of us. Don't forget I am a bloke and almost all women interest me I just love sex. I just don't like sex just because its available. Mike
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RHP User
13 years ago
To be honest people need to have the self talk here. What is it that I want from a man/woman and what are my expectations. Most men on RHP are after sex. This has been my own experiences and also from talking to women on here. So women need to say to themselves, is all I want sex? Can I handle it if a guy does not want to come back to my bed. Am I naive enough to believe all the crap that comes out of a mans mouth when his cock is busting out of his pants? What is it you want, right now? RHP is the sex of the right now, of no future and no past. Its sex for in the moment. No guy in his right mind is going to say, can I come around fuck you, not worry if you get off, zip up and leave without leaving money on the counter. Humans are animals, we can cover it with a paper of civilised behaviour but sex is primal and has no conscious. Women need to learn to handle rejection better, and know that most dicks do not boomerang. Take the pretty toys with the lies on their lips and put those lips to better use. The biggest problem is the crap of the what I will do to you baby when we meet, and what I will continue to do to you baby I will rock your world..false advertising its like a tampon add Sorry to say I cannot ski with, our without a freaking tampon!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Exactly halcyon days your right on the money with that quote!! I have had the same with 3 men off here People on here need to be honest with what they are looking for and tell it straight out I'm very weary who I meet now although I was that from the start as I'm married like I think most men are on here
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RHP User
13 years ago
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RHP User
13 years ago
No doubt it goes both ways but i think i can add to this topic. God created males to be practical machines....so we are meant to deposit our sperm solely for the purpose of reproduction. With that the main function our mind set is to 'spread our seeds' far and wide (like the animal kingdom)....with that comes a shorter attention span hence the sense in relation to him loosing interest or not giving attention. With some guys it doesn't even comedown to looks or personality, but sheer volume of women. Some of us are decent and nice though lol.
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RHP User
13 years ago
That in itself can play quite a pivotal role in how you ... make sense of the vagueness or piece together what little interest a person has shown ...Its important to ask yourself ... what am i showing interest for and to what end... and more importantly am i sending the wrong message (not necessarily wrong but perhaps it may well be getting interpreted wrong)I don't see the justification for resentment towards someone else... when all you wanted was to get off with their body and expect them to do it on a regular basis ... or even worse, they would discover how much of a kind, considerate, caring person you really are by the way you perform in bed.... Its actually sad that ppl so often talk about sex in a completely selfish manner..."IF YOUR GONNA USE SOMEONE ELSES BODY TO JERK OFF, I WILL ALWAYS END BAD"... That of course goes for men and women alike...You cant take sex and make it a relationship... Dont turn your noses up like that ... you have all tried it ....And you cant expect anyone to show interest in something that just aint that interesting ...
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RHP User
13 years ago
I have a short attention span ... I'm easily amused but not so easily impressed....You come at me with all your "Sexual ingenuity and prowess" it will entertain/amuse....Unless you have the interpersonal and social skills to execute a decent exchange .... You wont impress me It impresses me even less when the fuck word is used so often and the assumption is it was going to lead to a friendship...No point wishing for things like friendship if you yourself cant hope to maintain it... Everyone wants a mansion but never thinks of the rates... And Everyone wants a Ferrari but no one wants the invoice for the servicing...
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'tuscanred' RHP is the sex of the right now, of no future and no past. Its sex for in the moment. Humans are animals, we can cover it with a paper of civilised behaviour but sex is primal and has no conscious. Women need to learn to handle rejection better, and know that most dicks do not boomerang. Take the pretty toys with the lies on their lips and put those lips to better use. RHP is different things to different people, including to men. Because I'm on here for the chat and the perving, and not to hook-up, I quickly reject messages from men who are just looking for sex and am often surprised by the men who are interested in more. I've met some, and they're lovely and sincere and decent men, with big hearts and big minds. I think the notion that RHP is ONLY about sex is a very limited notion. I also think that if people want to act like animals they should be prepared to be treated like animals. Sex has infinitely more potential than as the pure expression of a primal urge. In humans, because we have the capacity for reflection, self-observation and consciousness, sex has the capacity to be transformative, existential, spiritual, deeply human and so much more. It doesn't have to be any or all of these things, but it sure can be. But ... I digress. In the simplest of terms - be honest, be upfront, be decent, be courteous, don't make promises, don't fudge answers ... and sooooo on. Seriously, too much to ask?
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RHP User
13 years ago
its about the hunt...tonight they are all over you because they are on the prowl for someone/something new.. tomorrow night its about someone else, and you are forgotten, as yesterdays news.... the hunt was 'successful'..at least it was,in their imaginations...
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luckyphil72
13 years ago
I agree with the above, but... must say that we all have to be truthfull with our profiles or if u can't do complain on here. Average or slim isn't somone who is overweight. Some men feel obligated to give out to the female, rather than say sorry you are not what you discribed. Goes both ways....
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RHP User
13 years ago
are just weak pricks ...yannobottom line = appreciate yourself for not being one of them :) xo
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'halcyon_days' In the simplest of terms - be honest, be upfront, be decent, be courteous, don't make promises, don't fudge answers ... and sooooo on. Seriously, too much to ask? No of course not... But i only do all that to get in someone's pants .... She of course knows im kidding and i will no doubt feel a mentally transferred slap across the back of my head tomorrow or at least a giggle txt reminding me im a cheeky shit...But in all seriousness people ... Remember the customer is always right if your selling yourself to the wrong demographic or attracting the wrong clientele maybe your marketing strategy needs a revision...I do realise its a bit of a niche market and the pickings for a mature (mentally) friend with benefits are slim, but thats no reason for you to settle for a jerk off ... either the investment is worth the outlay or your just pissing your efforts against the wall and complaining about the splash back
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RHP User
13 years ago
Here's a few more cents to add to the money box of thoughts: It's possible that this approach reflects a desire to stay in control. A guy fucks once and moves on.... he's had a good time and hasn't had to expose much of his personal or private side. If he comes back a second or third time then bit by bit he has to tell the woman know a bit more about himself. This can bring fear that if he lets a woman get too close that it'll be harder for him to stay in control and choose to leave without emotional ramifications. And yes... this applies to women but generally women who fuck once then move on do it for a different reason. Sometimes a woman fucks once then moves on because the guy wasn't great but she doesn't want to hurt his feelings and communicate openly with him. When the men on RHP and other sex sites far out number the women, it can leave the women feeling they don't need to put effort in. If Tom isn't great then she can move on to Dick or Harry. Have a great Friday everyone. Hugs, Saturn
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'halcyon_days' Quoting 'tuscanred' RHP is the sex of the right now, of no future and no past. Its sex for in the moment. Humans are animals, we can cover it with a paper of civilised behaviour but sex is primal and has no conscious. Women need to learn to handle rejection better, and know that most dicks do not boomerang. Take the pretty toys with the lies on their lips and put those lips to better use. RHP is different things to different people, including to men. Because I'm on here for the chat and the perving, and not to hook-up, I quickly reject messages from men who are just looking for sex and am often surprised by the men who are interested in more. I've met some, and they're lovely and sincere and decent men, with big hearts and big minds. I think the notion that RHP is ONLY about sex is a very limited notion. I also think that if people want to act like animals they should be prepared to be treated like animals. Sex has infinitely more potential than as the pure expression of a primal urge. In humans, because we have the capacity for reflection, self-observation and consciousness, sex has the capacity to be transformative, existential, spiritual, deeply human and so much more. It doesn't have to be any or all of these things, but it sure can be. But ... I digress. In the simplest of terms - be honest, be upfront, be decent, be courteous, don't make promises, don't fudge answers ... and sooooo on. Seriously, too much to ask?good points and your views do reflect your profile name well
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Enigmaoflove' No doubt it goes both ways but i think i can add to this topic. God created males to be practical machines....so we are meant to deposit our sperm solely for the purpose of reproduction. With that the main function our mind set is to 'spread our seeds' far and wide (like the animal kingdom)....with that comes a shorter attention span hence the sense in relation to him loosing interest or not giving attention. With some guys it doesn't even comedown to looks or personality, but sheer volume of women. Some of us are decent and nice though lol. I am sick and tired of them. Personally I don't think all men are primitive beings enslaved to their erections. Neither are women on this site sluts who have to respond to sex on demand.I am an assertive woman who doesn't hesitate to express what I want. Therefore on approaching people my expectations are first, theirs are second. It is just a matter of treating others decently and honestly. If you are upfront and someone looses interest..Don't take it personally, it is just an indication that the person is just not your kind of person.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Midnight_Run81' Quoting 'halcyon_days' In the simplest of terms - be honest, be upfront, be decent, be courteous, don't make promises, don't fudge answers ... and sooooo on. Seriously, too much to ask? No of course not... But i only do all that to get in someone's pants .... She of course knows im kidding and i will no doubt feel a mentally transferred slap across the back of my head tomorrow or at least a giggle txt reminding me im a cheeky shit...But in all seriousness people ... Remember the customer is always right if your selling yourself to the wrong demographic or attracting the wrong clientele maybe your marketing strategy needs a revision...I do realise its a bit of a niche market and the pickings for a mature (mentally) friend with benefits are slim, but thats no reason for you to settle for a jerk off ... either the investment is worth the outlay or your just pissing your efforts against the wall and complaining about the splash back Couldn't agree more!!!Some people here set themselves for disappointment by not being discerning enough from first contact. It doesn't take that long to know what sort of person you are dealing with...it comes with age and experience :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
For the sharp end of my tongue!
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RHP User
13 years ago
You mean pants down and seats folded forward right?.... Sharp... Pfft... Since when :-P
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'mikeandshel' its about the hunt...tonight they are all over you because they are on the prowl for someone/something new.. tomorrow night its about someone else, and you are forgotten, as yesterdays news.... the hunt was 'successful'..at least it was,in their imaginations... thats true for both men and women on here and in life ,,for many its the chase that does it and keeps them interested , then again others like to be wooed from the start before anything can go further
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RHP User
13 years ago
What you want will often not line up with what you get. I have no desire for a partner, a date for dinner, or to peruse a male. Yes I agree this site can make women lazy , where next is always an option. I have told women to put attached on their profile, as that is like bee to honey for some men. They then assume the woman will not pursue him, he is off the hook as far as her wanting more. When I have a man, I tell them ( after I fuck em) that I will not contact them. I say your the hound I am the rabbit. If you want it, again text me and if my dance card is not full well then we can get together again. I have now a few regular guys , and I have had some great one night stands. Though I know for single women its a lot harder, as I know if I was single I would look for a more holistic encounter with intimacy and maybe something ongoing. When a person fucks another and then does not come back , some people feel used. Who can blame them espcially when the person was so good at the bullshit marketing of self. Yeah baby I want a friend with benifits, a lover and maybe more. People need not to buy into that stuff Before they meet a person. They need to take it all with a grain of salt. If something does come of it then all good and well, if not then move on down the road. Now any guys that want to be used, and nailed to my studio floor and then kicked to the curb, please apply for an audition
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RHP User
13 years ago
But I FINALLY got the seats folded forward reference ;)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'halcyon_days' But I FINALLY got the seats folded forward reference ;) Do you have any idea how much work it took to get them folded down?? pmsl xxxx
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RHP User
13 years ago
changes everything.While there might be that initial attraction, it is only when you spend time with someone that you know whether or not you want to see them again. However for some people it will just be the thrill of the new...a man once told me that for him, the second time was never as good as the first,so for him there was only ever once. Personally, I think that sex without the intimacy that comes from getting to know someone,feeling comfortable with that person,is empty.However everyone is different,everyone's needs are different,and those needs change depending on what else is happening in our lives ,the age we are,the previous experiences we have had. After being in a long relationship sometimes the last thing we want is to get involved in another serious relationship,for another person it could be that is exactly what they want,because they miss all that comes with coupledom. The thing that separates human beings from most of the animal kingdom is our minds.Our sexuality is not just driven by a chemical cocktail of hormones,we are also feeling,sensing,thinking beings. Sex is indeed a conversation carried out by other means.x Hugs H
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RHP User
13 years ago
I'll take this from a different angle. If a woman shows me some interest, as exciting as that is, I realize there are many cool blokes at The Bakery and doubtless others are getting attention too. She may have only just so much time to read, post, perv. As such, I always feel pretty flattered to have been given a little of her time.If I don't hear from someone who's messaged or chatted to me I'm guessing it's because they are busy with something or someone else and I'm not sure I saw a law against that in the user agreement here?~laughs~
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