F103
Endings,the nature of beginnings is that there is always an ending.
April 01 2013
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
Exactly However I also do what you taught me and that's wrap that beautiful memory up in a gorgeous ribbon and put it in the memory box, to be re examined at a later date . A quote by Liz Gilbert: We must have our hearts broken at some time . This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we tried for something. Your heart is not broken but bruised like mine but it will heal. Hugs to you dear friend xx Ps: Tequila helps !!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
I have to be alone by myself most of the time to internal process to gather my thoughts and other times I will call a friend to verbalize what ever it is I am going through...However I deal with it, I have to process all my thoughts and feel my feelings...sometimes endings can be a good thing and other times can be horrid. As time goes on I am getting better and better at controlling my feelings with "endings"...they are not the best thing to go through - sometimes it may take me an afternoon and other times it's taken be over 18mths depending on the emotional investment I have put in..I've never been able to party with an ending unsure why - just can't.I too am having one of "those days" too OP...chin up - after all Tomorrow after all is another day. FOXY
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RHP User
13 years ago
... of indulgence (of the chocolate kind!). Guess that was the end of my "diet". Emm, think I can cope ;-)
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RHP User
13 years ago
"After all, Tomorrow is another day"Computer users can be so frustrating at times...grrrrrrrFOXY
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RHP User
13 years ago
I think its this time of year, going into hybernation time and we feel a bit out of the loop When its over, its for me like a ship drifting away I have a few looks then I turn away from the shore, next time I look back its dipped down over the horizon For me I swim, today was a perfect day in the water shimmering silver on the surface, kids and rods and dogs splashing you will see when you come over, and come have coffee with me and shina at the marina :) girlfriends for coffee is always a good pick me up, when we feel a little crushed by life. If you were here I could always give you one of my toys to play with to pick you up :) who knows, he may just think he is missing it as much as you are and soon the ninja will return , quietly slipping into your sheets and mind. But icecream and old TV shows will do till then :) a good weepy is what every girl needs now and again. Right now I have some fresh cooked crabs, some crusty Italian( bread that is) and watching the Tudors again, henry was one spoilt boy.
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RHP User
13 years ago
When in doubt, turn it on it's head. Use this time to begin something that you can celebrate when it ends instead! Write that novel you have fluffing about in your head. Collate the anthology of poems ...
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RHP User
13 years ago
Write a compendium of tidbits of life experiences and advice for the young from dear EdnaAverage ...
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RHP User
13 years ago
Very apropos (adj.) Freya. Today marks the first anniversary of a good friends departure from this world. After having his wife leave him and his relationship with his son dissolve he decided that life was not worth living... it is sad to think about but all of us left behind who remember him remember the good times and the joy he brought to our lives. To me, death is the only ending that doesn't mark a new beginning. When my marriage ended I moped, got angry and went through all the stages of grief... it felt like the end of the world but now I see it for the positive that can and will come, an opportunity to start again and try not to make the same mistakes. To Freya and all our RHP friends out there, I hope all your endings are happy and make the beginning of a new adventure and better things to come. And if your endings aren't happy, find a friend and talk about it!!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Time is the only thing that fixes the hurt because life does go on. But, No, I dont party to get over it. I have never enjoyed a Wake and that is what it would be. So enjoy the movie, tequila and whatever else it takes to feel comforted. Good luck
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RHP User
13 years ago
Just rearrange your thinking and think of it as a new beginning. The possibilities are endless!
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RHP User
13 years ago
... all the hours God gives me. And when the hurt subsides I bathe in the company of dear friends. May you find your solace Freya x
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RHP User
13 years ago
Apparently Everything begins and ends at exactly the rite time and place...xxx
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RHP User
13 years ago
A few days/weeks of introspection, depending on how long it takes to process things, then I hurl myself into the next adventure.
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Cheekyarses
13 years ago
Driftwood good answer. Everything comes to an end..... Eventually! Every action has a reaction....
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Cheekyarses' Driftwood good answer. Everything comes to an end..... Eventually! Every action has a reaction.... C'mon Freya! Even RHPies know Newton's third law!!! YIPEEEE!
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RHP User
13 years ago
I'm an intensely private person so my grief usually runs deep and quiet. At its worst though it can be uncontainable, so at times I must share and seek comfort. But to the extent I can, I just keep super busy and cry in private, until time passes and I feel hopeful again. I don't believe in denying feelings, whether they're feelings of pain or joy.
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RHP User
13 years ago
get me wrong,I do see positives in these sorts of situations,thats why I said in every beginning there is an ending.....and every ending is an opportunity for a new beginning. But I do think it is important to just spend a little time reflecting and not compulsively doing. Tomorrow is a brand new day. Paintme,there is no novel here, my brain is not wired like that.I have already written one book,and am working on an anthology of poems and another book. Auntie Edna keeps on bugging me,I think she may shove me off here again ,such a pest.
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RHP User
13 years ago
sometimes pests bite you in the bum .. right when you need it
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RHP User
13 years ago
You don't have to be looking for the positives all of the time, I find it's helpful just to feel and acknowledge my feelings in situations like this. It's sad! Be sad, feel it, give it space. Give yourself a hug. Feelings that are pushed down with busy, busy, party, party and too much tequila tend to arise later in strange and inappropriate ways. Though I think you're too smart for that. Big hug to you... Xx
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RHP User
13 years ago
I just finished a 2 1/2 year consttruction job out of state: I am home for a period of time yet to b e determined.. How did I cope with the stress of being told I am no longer required on this project? I DID the bosses wife... Chilled out for a few days paacking and sorting my STUFF. Flew back to Perth.. got on my bike and went for a few days ride with friends.. I am STILL Trying to keep my mind OFF any thoughts of working away agvain.. for AT the very LEAST, another MONTH.. If I can keep away from getting another job for the next 4 months.. I will be even happier!
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RHP User
13 years ago
I agree that it's important to take time to just feel. Let the emotions wash over you, around you and soak in them. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself permission to just...be.I journal to empty my head of the thoughts that swim around and play over and over like a record. I literally just vomit it all down on paper until there is nothing left.So once my body has felt the emotion and my head has emptied the thoughts - I'm ready to begin again.....slowly.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Not wallowing.. just wondering 'what happened'? Trying to be cool and nonchalant about things but, really liked someone and then to be just 'dropped', without any preamble - I am not sure how you reconcile that. You can't ask.. they won't say. You are person non grata all of a sudden, with no explanation. They have someone new.. and I am truly glad for them but, I thought our friendship meant we were just that.. friends, no matter who came and went .. out of each others lives. It feels very raw Freya.. I think hibernation is a good call.
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RHP User
13 years ago
most said already everything there is to say.I cry I write I watch action movies and I cut a flower and enjoy the beauty.After a day or so I can see and acknowledged all the great things I learned and smile again. The main thing for me is not to be angry or bitter, we all are on a life path and we meet and then go our ways, that's all there is. We just love the next who steps on our path. Then the world looks suddenly colourful and vibrate again, we dance in the rain and giggle at everything.Sending you love.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Awesome71' You don't have to be looking for the positives all of the time, I find it's helpful just to feel and acknowledge my feelings in situations like this. It's sad! Be sad, feel it, give it space. Give yourself a hug. Feelings that are pushed down with busy, busy, party, party and too much tequila tend to arise later in strange and inappropriate ways. Though I think you're too smart for that. Big hug to you... Xx I Sulk....and sulk a lot..... there is nothing wrong with feeling sorry for yourself at the end of something you really wanted to continue. I reckon its part of the healing process. Obviously its all relative I mean you finish a long term relationship...you sulk for a week. Finish your last Tim Tam after the shops have shut and it may last an hour or so. However Its important to recognise and embrace that feeling. It means you cared about whatever has ended.Anyone who says they just " get on with life" is either kidding themselves, lying, or didn't really care about what has ended.
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RHP User
13 years ago
..it's a little like when I finish a Calypo icy pole. I saviour every moment I have my lips and tongue around it sucking away pleasantly. Then oh fuck it's gone. I reflect..fuck that was good. I want more BUT.... I can not, it's gone. I drop my bottom lip and a feeling of sadness comes over then I think of the Magnum. Happy again.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'cavey50' I just finished a 2 1/2 year consttruction job out of state: I am home for a period of time yet to b e determined.. How did I cope with the stress of being told I am no longer required on this project? I DID the bosses wife... Chilled out for a few days paacking and sorting my STUFF. Flew back to Perth.. got on my bike and went for a few days ride with friends.. I am STILL Trying to keep my mind OFF any thoughts of working away agvain.. for AT the very LEAST, another MONTH.. If I can keep away from getting another job for the next 4 months.. I will be even happier! doing some live drawing classes down her on a wednesday night......we need a male model I think you will do just fine , some come down and take your clothes off and then put them back on and I will take you to the art class...where you can take them off again no serious we do need a model for the class at the moment, any other volunteers and you CANT get a hard on thats the challenge for a lot of men, women also welcome to volunteer as well its on every wednesday evening
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RHP User
13 years ago
Bugger orft! No happy ending for you my love.....MY TURN! Sheesh
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RHP User
13 years ago
Good on you Freya. Reflection is a good way to handle emotions. Sadness and other emotions like happiness are all impermanent. It comes, it might stay for a bit and then it will be replaced by something else. Rinse and repeat. It is always good to accept it for what it is rather than to push it away for something else. I feel that in that way, you are more balanced in your emotions. After all, you are feeling sad but the sadness is not the whole of you. As to your questions regarding coping mechanisms. I used to push it away, treating it as an irritant. These days I accept it, reflect upon it and keep in mind that it will eventually go away on its own. Hmm...does that mean I've grown up? If you need to hide away, do it so that you take the time to heal rather than to run away. Same with partying. If you want to have a good time, do so because you want a good time rather than as a mechanism to hide or run from your sadness. Although, now might be a great time to write some poetry. Nothing like emotion to fuel good poetry.It sounds like you are on the right track. Good luck and hope to see your brighter side soon.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hi Freya, I mix it up a bit.. Some alone time is great and needed, but i also need to surround myself with friends to take my mind off things.. I go through up's and down's with it so just roll with the punches and get social if im up for it or chill if im not.. thankfully i have a couple of friends that can put up with me, even if i'm there in body but not in mind.. It's really hard to move on from something good that ended when it couldn't go any longer.. So many good memories but the thought that there may not be new ones can really bring you down so i try not to think about that too much.. Can't help but wonder if it ended on bad terms if it would be easier to move on though.. i like "wrap that beautiful memory up in a gorgeous ribbon and put it in the memory box" though.. need to remember that ..hang in there :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Freya one of my favourites from Nietzsche " to live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering"
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RHP User
13 years ago
"Don't cry because it's over. Laugh because it happened". I go and hang out with friends.. That's what they are for.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Just say farewell and look for the next beginning, works for me.
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Cheekyarses
13 years ago
All good things must come to an end :-(
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