M45 F44
Drawing a line.
November 24 2015
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
I had a couple send me a message. In the message, they offered me drugs and asked if a certain couple who live in the same town as me still swing as they had swung with them before. They named them and the business they own and asked if I could get in touch with them and would I join in. I think personal details are ok but not if enough details are given where others can be identified. That's just my own opinion but I'm not into couples fun so my views may be very different to others. 😃
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RHP User
10 years ago
Have learned no to expect it. This place can be an incestuous tad pool, and when people learn you know someone they are curious about/interested in/dislike, they want aaaaaaalll the gory details for their own personal gain. If someone is willing to spill about other members, they'll do the same about me, which I find an utter turn-off. When I first joined I was told so many really intimate details about forumites (by other forumites) that I could only wonder what they were saying about me. I was told in the first week not to meet a male poster because he was bad in bed and had no experience, by a woman who hadn't actually met him. (How wrong she was, he and I ended up being lovers for several years). I find kissing and telling unacceptable, but sometimes feel I'm in the minority. That's why if I see people on a man's friend list that I know, I'm actually wary. Sure, I'll sometimes share messages here, but always anonymously and mostly ones I received outside of RHP. When a guy mentioned an a forum a few days ago how a woman here had slept with someone he knows who had then dissed her, I was dumbfounded at the utter disrespect. As for validations: I will only ever accept and write non-sexual ones. I like people knowing I'm nice and reliable but whether I swing from the chandelier or not is not something I want the whole site to know. I'll write about it on a forum if that's the case.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'WiccaWitch' They named them and the business they own and asked if I could get in touch with them and would I join in. I've had that, guys asking in messages if I could pass on a message to another woman (one stated he was asking me because she had blocked him...), or to put a good word in for them. Dream on.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Not to be too respectable,just growing older a little disgracefully ..I don't think you can expect discretion here...gossip abounds...tales are told.frenemies,enemies,friends are made...kissing and telling?..gosh I am far to boring for anyone to bother but I am happy for anyone to talk up my sex life 😘xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
Me too,I have had a few men contact me because they knew I was friends with a couple of female posters...made me feel like a pimp..now that was disrespectful xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
To the couple I mentioned was, I don't swing but if I did, it wouldn't be with them because they'd tell everybody. I've had a guy ask me to contact a girl in here for him and pass his number on as he couldn't because he was a guest. Must be a trend maybe.
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RHP User
10 years ago
to kiss and tell. Perhaps people that do need a lot if attention/validation (not the RHP kind :p ) - Posted from rhpmobile
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Lovinit28andKC72
10 years ago
I don't like to share all details of my intimate encounters, definitely no names and I'd much prefer not to be the hot topic around the coffee table. How do you stop it, not sure you can, apart from taking extreme care when choosing your playmates, but some people just have big mouths and can't help themselves, which is a pain in the arse, bad manners and unexceptable.....💋
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RHP User
10 years ago
Join identity or identifying detail with the actions or story, if no-one knows who you are talking about, no harm done. I also have found a small number of my best buddies, i don't ever talk about in any way, and i'm almost certain they would have extended the same courtesy to me, what happened in our private time, stayed there and is too personal to talk about for me, even in a generic way. They mean too much to me and i'm so happy they came into my life. In reverse, i have no control over what's being said about me. Sour grapes also bring out the bs from guys when they're bragging to their mates, don't believe everything you hear guys, i"ve cut off contact with guys at the eleventh hour, for various reasons, all the guy has to do is delete that last message, and it would appear we hooked up, so most probably bullshit. I've also sent them packing after meeting them, their story might be quite different when bragging to mates. If a guy turns out to be 'skanky' for want of a better word, which wasn't evident in the lead up, there's no way i'd go through with an intinate act with them, hope this makes sense. Take whatevee you hear with a grain of salt - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Good to see you back girl. Yeah I personally found that getting into the party scene was very much like that. Lots of the same people that go seem to compare notes. A while back,I was chatting to a couple at a party and they actually said that another couple had told them to keep an eye out for me. They knew a little too much about what Parties I had previously been to, and with who. But I suppose the scene is pretty small really.The party circuit has a lot of networking happening. And yes Ive also recieved messages from people saying" so and so suggested you might be interested in an invite to our party" so who knows what was said about me to get invites to strangers parties. But Ive settled down a fair bit now and Im not swinging from the ceiling 😎
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ReyandJean
10 years ago
Our discussions are always about "a couple we met" along with some detailed stories of exploits, but names and handles are never mentioned nor sought.
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Lovinit28andKC72
10 years ago
Just dipping the toes in to see how I go, so to speak, for how long who knows.....💋
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RHP User
10 years ago
also have had a first message from a guy blurting out a female profile name and some shitty comments, I just couldn't believe it, reeled back, took no notice of the profile name he'd given me, either blocked him or didn't reply, I can't remember, it was a fair while back now. But that's not acceptable, my first thought was also what if that were me and he was mouthing off about me. Dodged a bullet there
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RHP User
10 years ago
people are hardly respectful with other people's privacy in everyday life nowadays then why would RHP be different? For the record I do not kiss and tell - it is no one's business who I have been with and when, how...if I get asked about previous experiences I do share details (what happened, how was it etc) but no names - it is always a "he" or a "friend" or a "man" or a "lover"..no one has to know their identities. I anticipate the same in return. This should be a basic guiding principle. The other aspect of this discussion is that I reckon it is fairly common that people play with other people they are in contact from RHP. I know for sure that one of my lovers had played with an other lady from RHP - but it could not concern me less. RHP is a swing site - if you cannot deal with the fact a person you know might have played with an other person you know from RHP then you should not put your toes in the pool - so to say. As long as one is not in a mutually agreed exclusive relationship they play with whomever they want and chances are if he found you on RHP he will find an other lady on RHP - nothing wrong with that in my eyes - as long as identities are protected. If people cannot keep their mouth shut and have to name drop well that is their issue - make sure you are put safeguards in place.
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RHP User
10 years ago
It's just all about "respect"Respect people's wishes and the world revolves smoothlyDon't respect people and the world is full of unnecessary hurdlesRegards everybody and have a lovely day
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RHP User
10 years ago
seen people outed in the chat room, including myself. Its rude, disrespectful and only ensures that the person doing the outing will find themselves with little to no luck meeting people in future. Who we meet, whether its socially or for play, is no ones business. Validations..well mine are from people I have met who are now good friends of mine. We are all here to make friends and have some fun, I think those people are acting either through jealousy or the need to make themselves look good? An ego boost as the OP said?
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RHP User
10 years ago
That's disgusting that people would do that. I don't like chat rooms for a number of reasons, add this one to it and i'm happy to stay away - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Its pretty easy, the line in the sand is when stories are shared there should be a non disclosure of names. However we have met a ton of people who have recommended other couples or singles for some adult play. Nothing wrong with that at all. Now as for general talk, I thinks it is fine to talk about good and bad experiences, as we all are very very limited in who we talk too, so getting perspective by talking is pretty normal. Like others have pointed out its a small community so networking is normal, we have been invited to parties based on others recommendations which is fine by us, it doesn't take too much imagination to work out what has been said, and again we are happy with that.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' When a guy mentioned an a forum a few days ago how a woman here had slept with someone he knows who had then dissed her, I was dumbfounded at the utter disrespect. He just posted that he had tried to evade saying anything, but I made him tell. What the flying fuck?! Thanks for deleting there mods, but it still showed on my feed when I got home. Some people have no respect for other people's boundaries whatsoever.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Kokoflamingo' seen people outed in the chat room, including myself. I wonder how many people "invent" a history with others? I'm sure quite a few (both in chat and real life) name-drop to seem more wanted or reliable.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Absolutely, i have no doubt that happens, like i said, i've lined them up and pulled out at the eleventh hour, with good reason, all it takes is for them to delete the last message, show their mates the sexy pictures and messaging, and it would look like they had hooked up. Strange when a person in a certain area makes claims, when the person hasn't hooked up with anyone remotely close to that area mmm me thinks the more well known profiles like yours and mine would be good ones to 'name drop' and look cool on front of their mates. All it confirms is the quality of the person and that we dodged a bullet in the first place - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
As far as couples or singles recommending each other within the swinging community, i believe there serious issues associated with this. You might think it validating to have someone recommend you, but is everyone going to be okay with you discussing them with others? I sure as hell wouldn't be, and neither would most of the guys i've been with. It's not your place to be highlighting other people, certainly not without their approval and knowledge you were doing it. And who's to say because one encounter went well or there was a connection, that it would be the same with another couple, horses for courses and all that. I personally like intimacy to evolve, would hate to think the person had any prior knowledge of my sexual self having been told to them, not for me. Sex is a very, very private act and i've only had one guy who liked cross-advertising lol but he wanted me to do that, encouraged me to show people his pictures, proud guy, and he has reason to be. Otherwise, sorry, not a fan of identifying information being shared - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2'I personally like intimacy to evolve, would hate to think the person had any prior knowledge of my sexual self having been told to them, not for me. Sex is a very, very private act You find squirting sexy? Oh you should totally meet Meander, she squirts everywhere when you do x-y-z You have a foot fetish? Contact Itouch, she has really pretty feet. But be careful, she is very ticklish! Well meant? Perhaps. Unacceptable? I absolutely think so, yes.
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