M44

Does logic and planning annoy you?

November 15 2018

I am the type of person who is organised and plans ahead of a situation good or bad. I get up earlier for work so I'm not rushing around and I like to plan out and logically calculate what I need to do. Due to my health it is pretty important that I do this as well. Wednesday my friend and I are moving in together, just friends nothing untoward. We finally found a place. I am well into organising all the utilities and booking a truck to help move and work around when to collect her things and mine. My plan is to do it one day which I think is more than enough time. I guess the response I got in return wasn't what I was expecting, she went off at me for for not consulting her with the truck. We move in Wednesday and she wanted to move in them so due to work I planned a Thursday morning run for her things which wasn't well received and now wants to move in Friday. Both of us are still working, so we need to work around it, to me do it one big hit and be done with it, save on truck rental and time. She did not concur, she wants to spread her move over a few days, to which I told I'm only hiring the truck for one day etc. The way she was acting while we were rent hunting she gave off the impression she wanted a place fast, yet after today I wonder. My logic is simple get it done and get it done once, no mucking around and we don't have to keep picking up our storage and spending longer than we need to. I think mucking around and spending more time than you need to is just pointless. Does someone who is a planner and uses logic annoy you?

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DynamicCouple36

7 years ago

We feel That it is important to be well organised and to plan ahead. It is what we do on a daily basis with regards our careers. Whilst our personal lives are not as rigorously planned, we still do run a fairly “ tight ship”. There is, after all, only so much weekend time and we therefore plan to make the most of it. Sexually, most of the excitement is the planning, the fantasy, the build up and the expectation of what lies ahead. We enjoy choreographing the way an evening of fun might play out. It’s part of our fantasy. In closing, nothing wrong with planning things, nor being disciplined, neat, tidy, logical & professional. Some people may not like it, finding it to be too rigid. Some may (perhaps in your friends case) find it controlling . But then we are all different. The trick, we feel, is to have a good balance, between meticulous planning & spontaneity.

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RHP User

7 years ago

I am a planner generally as well, it makes my life easier. So if someone planned something out for me, and it didnt fit with what I was thinking or needing, then yep I'd be annoyed. So I keep on planning for myself, but try to consult with others beforehand if it impacts on them. Mrs A x

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RHP User

7 years ago

It’s not the planning and logic that annoyed your friend it seems. Let’s assume you’re both moving in together and sharing the home and rent 50% each. Then you both should share the planning and logic 50% each, share the decision making in moving in and then ground rules for living in it. Simple general chit chat of wants and needs will cover it by talking about plans in advance. You are only right if the arrangement is that you’re in charge and paying all, or most of the rent, and she is a low paying lodger or staying for free, then you own the decision making in a dictatorship style 😊

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RHP User

7 years ago

I am quite like you DAF, I am reasonably organized when it comes down to things to do with work (I'm a shift worker so it's a little different to Monday-Friday). Outside of that though, I have a rough plan for my days activities but whatever happens happens and if it doesn't it doesn't. I would probably have just let your housemate know that you have hired a truck for a day and if she would like to backload then no worries. It sounds (a bit) like you tried to organize her day for her. You move yourself, let her move herself. Most people are accepting of micro-managing as long as it isn't too blatant or obnoxious. You've got a bit of ground to make up with the housemate by the sounds, and you're not even living together yet.

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FeistyFatty

7 years ago

Yes. The way you did it would perturb me. Collaboration would have been more respectful and well received as it appeared as if you just took over a little. Maybe what you find disorganised and stressful is actually the opposite for your new housemate.

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RHP User

7 years ago

Going into a housemate situation with a friend can go either way. Things that you find quirky and funny with a friend in social situations can become downright annoying when co-habiting. Cleanliness is the great wrecker of many share households. In my experience of sharing a house it is the biggest killer of harmony. What is filthy to some is merely a little untidy (or not at all) to others. I have lived with some whose bedroom is essentially a biohazard week in, week out. If you are the type that believes in cleaning at this time on this day every week, and you live with someone who is more casual than that, arguments will ensue. You need to be flexible when it comes to housemates, otherwise best to just get a place of your own.

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madotara69

7 years ago

if you're the planner type of person...the sure fire way to absolute chaos is by thinking you know what someone else is thinking. She may have planned on mooning her crystals ? taking into consideration with the plan.. would entail the full moon, in which can not be bought forward, nor rushed, nor bargained with. I'm not a planner type of person, seems like a rule of a kind and by having such rules risks missing out on what just happens at any time or the wonderful happenings that just happen and leave me dazzled in ore, standing there thinking...fuck me that was so so awesome how that happened as it did. Passably a little reckless on my part and not so productive, poor in structure, brings about a sense of frowning from those who uphold punctuality lol. But then grandad would tell me "it's not the deeds spoken where you will be judged by your peers, it's by the actions of your deeds in that you will be' Mado Mado Tara xx

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Taby_DK

7 years ago

I'm an ISTJ personality type so I like to plan everything well in advance. This has gotten to the point where I am known at work as the OCD organiser and I do get stressed easily if I don't know what's happening or when or people change my plans, which drives me nuts. lol As the OP stated I also don't believe in mucking around or wasting time on things that could be solved instantly instead of taking 2 weeks to get the same outcome. That's time that could be spent elsewhere on something more important. Funnily enough, Mr is the exact opposite and is a super spontaneous person, which can be challenging for me. lol As a result of being a spontaneous person and not planning things in advance he seems to take 6 months to do the same tasks I get done in a 1 week e.g going to the doctor, attending events, organising a gardener or getting the car serviced etc. I usually have to step in and organise all his meetings and appointments etc on his behalf or it simply wouldn't get done for months and months. So in that regard, each of our weaknesses is the other person's strength and we help each other out. I think I also have a fear of missing out on things so I like to plan things way in advance e.g holidays need to be fully booked with a full itinerary at least 6 months in advance. haha In regards to the situation above, I would have done what the OP did. I do have a bad habit of getting so focused on the outcome and meeting deadlines on time that I sometimes forget to think about how this could affect other people. I think that sometimes we have to take a step back and look at things from other people's point of view as they could see things completely different to how we do and get upset over what we consider 'being organised' because they could consider it as us being rude or not consulting with them first to find any possible shortcomings with the plan. Taby xx

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RHP User

7 years ago

Maybe.... You are just a control freak? Other side of the coin....I would of had a plan in my head too. With you coming along and fucking up my plan, I would of thrown MY toys out of the cot too, in fact, I probably would of thrown them at you..... You messed with my ORGANISED head. Go and apolgise to the lass. Dont come here for justification. You fucked up in my view. Tho yes you are a good lad for thinking you were doing the righty....COMMUNICATE.

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RHP User

7 years ago

Someone who is anally retentive annoys me. Logic and planning are a part of life. Tho Im not a fan of too much structure.

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RHP User

7 years ago

You are making decisions for her , get the truck for your own furniture !! She’s a grown up stop taking over . I hope it’s only a short lease? cracks are showing already..

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Dirtyandfriendly

7 years ago

Quoting 'inspirit' Maybe.... You are just a control freak? Other side of the coin....I would of had a plan in my head too. With you coming along and fucking up my plan, I would of thrown MY toys out of the cot too, in fact, I probably would of thrown them at you..... You messed with my ORGANISED head. Go and apolgise to the lass. Dont come here for justification. You fucked up in my view. Tho yes you are a good lad for thinking you were doing the righty....COMMUNICATE. No not a control freak :P it just made more sense moving in one go then spreading it over a week or so going back and forth while working, I've moved enough to know it sucks. Quoting 'inspirit' Maybe.... You are just a control freak? Other side of the coin....I would of had a plan in my head too. With you coming along and fucking up my plan, I would of thrown MY toys out of the cot too, in fact, I probably would of thrown them at you..... You messed with my ORGANISED head. Go and apolgise to the lass. Dont come here for justification. You fucked up in my view. Tho yes you are a good lad for thinking you were doing the righty....COMMUNICATE.

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Dirtyandfriendly

7 years ago

I'm in Bright for Spartan and made a list of what I needed to take ect. But I forgot the Aussie basics "thongs" and I forgot to wear my gloves. I write lists for everything when needed. Holidays going away I do look at where I'm going and plan some things out. The biggest plan is just sitting all day at a pool bar, that's a must.

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Dirtyandfriendly

7 years ago

For me I need a plan, as an example going into the city for drinks etc. I need to know where or at least what we will be doing. I can't handle it when its all on the fly, you get to a venue and it's full or some friend tells you a good eatery we can go to and it's booked out. Then you spend well over an hour trying to sort something out because everyone wants something different now. Certain people are shockers for decision making too I just realised I'm OCD

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RHP User

7 years ago

and maybe even having a plan B. Regardless of how many people are involved, it's very difficult and time consuming to move house so being disorganized just wouldn't work.Reading your post, Dirtyandfriendly, it sounds as if we think very much alike with regard to planning ahead.I get a bit annoyed with people who end up wasting (my) time because they are disorganized.

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MsSuperFoxy

7 years ago

Fact: I write myself to-do-lists every day and keep two diaries. One for home and one at work. Inside my head is like an organised filing cabinet. I can not stand being disorganised nor working with disorganised people. I do not have the tolerance. Ms Foxy

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RHP User

7 years ago

Being organised is cool for some and not for others. Im a kinda go with the flow type of person. If things don't go as planned, just move on. I can't stand stress and for me planning to much, means stress. I'm that person who packs her bag an hour before the flight. If I forget something.... oh well. Maybe because my job is very stressfull I leave the stress at work.. OP.... Good luck.

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