F74
Do you want a boyfriend/girlfriend or a bonk?
February 11 2012
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
I've been single for about a year and a half now, have had so many friends ask me why I don't get a boyfriend that I actually had a moment of wondering if maybe I should consider it, so I did. I stopped and tried to imagine "this would be my life, spending my free time with just one person, have sex in a smaller variety of ways/moods that suit the chemistry you have with just one person and the set of complimenting likes/dislikes you share with that one person". Nothing.So I tried it again, this time standing in the house of a really incredibly lovely guy with an abundance of sexual talent, great to talk to, gives hints/vibe that he'd like a girlfriend, seems emotionally secure. I suddenly felt something: claustrophobic of near-panic proportions.I take that as a positive sign that I'm doing just fine with my current "fun times with fun people" lifestyle choice :)xx Sarah
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RHP User
14 years ago
If I see a list of "I don't want...", I'll skip to the next profile. I don't even bother to look at anything else. What's the point in contacting someone who is clearly very negative already. The conversation is likely to go something like this "So do you drink?" "Yes, I have a couple every now and then" "sorry, that's not going to work for me. that means you're piss head".The automatic conclusion is the worst case scenario. This isn't to say there isn't adequate cause for their cynicism but it sure as hell is extremely unattractive.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think this is a good question tuscanred and I have seen examples of what you are suggesting before. . I'd like to think my profile is very straight to the point but confess to having written it knowing that many wouldn't bother reading it anyway, which I guess is a shame really. I think my profile in some places, is ambiguous and mine is actually in the process of a re-write, but in the meantime, I think it accurately reflects who I am, both in 'real life' and in RHP land. I'm pretty sure my friends here who are also my friends in 'real life' would say it accurately reflects who I am. . It states clearly what I like and dislike, what you must have and what it is preferable you don't have and it makes clear mention of my relationship status. Infact, you can go so far as to find near identical statements in the profile of my partner, should you seek to look closely enough at both of our profiles. . But my profile is a reflection of what I need and want from RHP at this stage in my life and it hasn't changed too much from what it was when I first turned up here about 2 and a half years ago. . I do read into a profile though and I do make the same assumptions you do about words like "discrete" and "fun" and I confess to rating a person based on how much effort they have made on their profile. And that doesn't necessarily mean a word count. Some people can communciate succinctly what they need to say in 5 sentences and that is fine. ... Sadly, for anyone reading my posts or my profile, I am not one of those people LOL . Flirty x
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RHP User
14 years ago
With permission to play and having this clearly stated in my profile I would have thought that I would find quite a few women keen on taking me up on a bit if guilt free nsa sex, but am finding that most dont even seem to consider me. Not sure what it is, whether it's the lack of a future relationship or just the idea that i'm married that causes them to balk.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I'm very happily married and I think my profile is clear in what I'm searching for. I'm looking for playmates I can be friends with.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I hear you TR, and an interesting set of observations. I esp like the capital letters (shouting). Peoples tolerance/intolerance to various things is amusing to note. . Mr E.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I am attached but have a single profile (have seen others with so figured it's okay.) The reason being that whilst swinging was my partners idea, he works away 1/2 the year and has little interest in the analysing and screening when he is home (which I quite like to do) so I manage our profile which clearly states attached in the relationship status and in our info. The other reason is that I am seeking girls and thought that it would be smarter to have a single female profile in terms of being noticed in their searches though I may be wrong, I think they must like to be sought ;) We are looking for (emotionally mature not unemotional) casual lover friends, I suppose is how I would put it. Not;A) whoever that thinks whatever with the perfect bodies or body part for I night or B) Someone who becomes overemotional and excessively attached to either of us and is unable to keep reasonable boundaries.That does not mean there can't be cuddles, dinner, movies, walks, presents etc that is what friends and lovers both do.To me BF/GF denotes exclusivity but not in all cases I suppose- take a fairly new relationship that would not yet go so far as to call themselves partners but that have an open relationship- they could still "fit" in this site.I think our profile is clear and positive, it's about what we like and what we have to offer and some certain boundaries.I have been told by some members that they tailor there profile to suit the norm for eg; not stating they are experimental or Bi because girls don't like it overall etc. I imagine it's the same with some fetishes. So yes profiles are often ambiguous Which makes it difficult, my favourite is "open for new naughty experiences and a sexual deviate that is straight It seems that my interpretation of sexual deviate is a little different to theirs lol! but not in all cases the other side is that I regularly msg back straight adventurous deviates to see if they are into oral with a dude and I often get a yes. Thanks Tuscanred. I have so much to say about NSA that it seems appropriate for me to post my 1st forum topic.Cass xxx P.S you can msg me what u think of my profile if you like- I always like feedback.
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RHP User
14 years ago
For me, I simply don't have the time to dedicate to a 'traditional' or 'conventional' relationship but that doesn't stop me wanting to enjoy some of those benefits with a like-minded person. The ideal situation for me right now, is for a FWB. (After my marriage broke up a few years back, I did register on a conventional dating site - that profile is now inactive and I am here instead).Am glad you started this thread and it will be interesting to see others thoughts on the topic. It seems there is a great deal of variety in perception as to what RHP is all about. Various posts often state how RHP is "just" a sex site, or even "supposed" to be just for swingers (not singles seeking other singles). I thought it was "all" of the above and plus some?I do know where you are coming from and the same thought has crossed my mind when I read profiles about not being closed to a relationship. I say fantastic for them! I wish more people were as honest about their wants in their profile as it enables others to be more informed about whether they would like to meet or not.For someone visiting RHP for the first time, the very front page of RHP states "RedHotPie is a premier internet dating site for hot girls, hot guys and sexy couples. Whether you are looking for free sex or adult personals RedHotPie will help you find friends, romance & relationships." (kind of like Sizzlers with a take-away option!). I don't see why those looking for relationships, or more than a bonk, should be judged as long as they are honest, have respect and don't judge others who are seeking sor something different to them. Perhaps they are looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend who actually enjoys sex (and fear they wont find that on 'conventional' sites) or they are looking for a long term/life partner to swing with.My initial take on RHP was that it was more open minded than other "conventional" dating sites in that I "thought" it allowed people to almost take a sigh of relief and be honest about their desires and kinks without having to feel they were weird or not normal (whatever that is). Basically, like a conventional dating site on steroids... it simply encompassed a greater scope of desires.Unfortunately, it seems many judge those that are open to the idea of finding a relationship here (no, not you TR - I see you stating your opinion and reasoning for such, and questioning others about their view out of interest).The fact is I have seen many guys (I say guys because they are the ones I looked at) from here are also on other 'conventional' dating sites. The main difference with some of them is that on the conventional ones, their profiles would have your mother racing you off to the alter and touting what a lovely man he is and how lucky (pfft) to have found such a rare gent (look darling! only one previous owner, well maintained and looking for his soul mate to call princess snookums!). Yet same guy's profile on here would have said Mother wetting her pants - in more than one way probably (it might be the noodle fetish that tipped her over).I think sometimes profiles are written more to appeal to an audience rather than from one's own desires. Maybe if everyone were more open about what it is they wanted, they would have more success ... or more frustration. As far as people listing their "want's" and "not want's", as long as it's balanced it actually helps learn more about suitability. Although in the case of a guy who contacted me recently, his profile made it very clear what he was after and also what he did not want, to the point of saying if you are *this this or this, then you are definitely not the girl for me etc etc*. After his message I read through his profile and found myself being exactly the type he didn't want and politely replied to him explaining this. I got abused for a couple of emails (damn slow blocker I am!) for not being *open* enough and *hiding behind an online wall*. Knob.Perhaps RHP should add another check-box to the Fetish Interest *Open To Conventional Relationship*. Maybe if it is viewed as a kink it won't be frowned upon.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Nath1976' With permission to play and having this clearly stated in my profile I would have thought that I would find quite a few women keen on taking me up on a bit if guilt free nsa sex, but am finding that most dont even seem to consider me. Not sure what it is, whether it's the lack of a future relationship or just the idea that i'm married that causes them to balk. In my case, it really is about what I feel comfortable with - blame it on upbringing / religion / past experience, etc, most people have boundaries which they can't cross (some are meant to be pushed but others are like a hard limit).So for me it would have nothing to do with the lack of future relationship due to you being married. If anything, that would be a bonus... all the fun without picking up socks, putting down toilets seats etc
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RHP User
14 years ago
I can't see why you can't find a gf or bf here. Its a social setting do why not? You're better off looking in places where you'll find like minded people to yourself. If that's here... Then all well and good I think. As it happens, I'm not looking for a gf or a bf. my life's complicated enough as it is. I do enjoy conversing with like minded people, even if I'm not looking for a mate here. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
Thinking about this Tuscanred , I would like to meet someone (not boyfriend) for regular sex. Im getting tired of the one offs, it would be nice to have one or two regular sex partners. That is the only thing missing from my life at present is constant sex.
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RHP User
14 years ago
You raise an interesting question tuscanred. It seems we all have our list of what we want and don't want ,admittedly some being much more detaile and speceficthan others. I wonder what the results would be if some analysed all our stated wants and nees in a "partner" and then compared it to the actual qualitites of the people we hook up with. I suspect there would be a relatively poor correlation between what we say and what we actully do. Which perhaps goes to show that us humans don't really know what we want.I'm not even really sure if thats what I wanted to say??
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RHP User
14 years ago
The Daddy... I am looking for a Daddy ^^^ to spank my big fat juicy butt :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Clearly when you are having ''relations'' (that word to decribe bed gripping, lip biting sex makes me chuckle) with someone you are going to develop some feelings toward that person - I understand this.. but are they always the I want you full-time as my boyfriend/girlfriend type of feelings? No... Perhaps I missed out on that emotion button that switches on and off?I care about my FWB very much - I have feelings for him but they are not of the heartstrings variety. They are simply lust, respect, trust, admiration, lust, lust, desire, lust, appreciation, lust, genuine friendship (did I mention lust?) and when he heads off overseas to live soon I will miss him - his friendship, our companionship but I won't lay in bed and cry for days thinking why didn't I push for more... I simply don't view him like that and will have killer memories to make me smirk.I do find it amusing that a LOT of people have on their profiles looking for ''fun'' (ps. Luna park is fun, eating icecreams and watching it melt down your arms is fun...sigh.. don't get me started on that one).. and after 'fun' will also have open to a relationship with the right person or similar. I've asked a few people and they flat out deny they would ever have a relationship with someone they met on a ''sex'' site regardless of their profile alluding to it.Everyone is different, thank god and we don't tick all the same values, morals and sexual desire boxes which for me, makes this entire website so interesting - the human experiement I guess... along with the fact that there are quite a few intelligent, quick witted, non judgemental people on here who are open and actually happy with exactly who they are and what they want in life... *raised glasses to those people*Now excuse me whilst I head to Facebook and send them a quick note requesting a few more variants be added to the relationship status button ;)Disclaimer - simple observations and opinion from experience only. Any issues please contact my Solicitor at [email protected]
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RHP User
14 years ago
It's because just because someone says he/she is playing with permission and the other party may like to be involved in a threesome at some point, doesn't mean anyone actually believes that. Unfortunatly all the liars before you have ruined your fun Nath. Quoting 'Nath1976'With permission to play and having this clearly stated in my profile I would have thought that I would find quite a few women keen on taking me up on a bit if guilt free nsa sex, but am finding that most dont even seem to consider me. Not sure what it is, whether it's the lack of a future relationship or just the idea that i'm married that causes them to balk.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Do I have to choose between a boyfriend OR a bonk...I honestly thought if I had a boyfriend I would get to bonk him senseless!
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RHP User
14 years ago
...can be very subjective and open to your own interpretation. Some can be very prescriptive in only a few short sentences or written with incredible detail in the negative...I am happy to put some women on my own pedestal for whatever reasons I may choose or find attractive, but that doesn't mean that becomes an alter of worship. If someone puts themselves there already I will usually take it for a miss...and equally if I see humour and what may be written in the white space between all these letters, even better and I will break every rule in the book if need be to get to know that person. I just quietly a bit like that in real life too...and not just about people but most anything that I find challenging or exciting. | I think the reality is that, just like in real life...most of us are never completely sure of what it is that we are looking for until it jumps up and grabs us, and that's the part I enjoy. I like surprises...I like being surprised. I can almost always tell the difference in the first note or two back if any whether I might just enjoy the experience...the litmus test is always in the voice and laughter as once I hear it completes part of the singular image that I form in my mind, like adding in the colours to a black and white sketch. | I do absolutely know what I am not looking for...but finding out what that is forms a part of the journey. I hope you enjoy the adventure as you are often drawing the map along the way. | Thanks, for letting me play.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I am just looking for my car keys
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RHP User
14 years ago
I will never share a shag somone if i think it's only going to be a one off before i start. It maybe that the chemistry expected is not there and once off is all it is. But you would not find me there in the first place if i thought that was the case at the start.The last woman I dated was Bi and identified a strong feminine side to my character that offset her masculinity nicely. Maybe the feminine side of my character is why one off fucks don't really interest me?So i'm guessing i'd like a "fling buddy" (new word alert). a light relationship that is not necessarily long term that is more than just sex.At some point i'll be ready for a proper relationship again. but today i'm still daubing past wounds with self obsession.
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RHP User
14 years ago
And so mentioned half jokingly to the mrs that she may even have to confirm the fact she's fine with me playing. She didnt seem wrapped by the idea as she doesnt want all the details and would rather I sort things out on my own, but eventually said that if thats what it would take then she'd do it.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'MrandMrsErotic' I hear you TR, and an interesting set of observations. I esp like the capital letters (shouting). Peoples tolerance/intolerance to various things is amusing to note. . Mr E. well the shouting I have to admit was just me and typo stuff . So not really a shout
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RHP User
14 years ago
I too avoid the "possible relationship" profiles. I have far too much going on in my life to get caught up in with a relationship at the moment. That may change further down the track but when that time comes I'll quit this site and join one of the more comventional ones. Heck that's why I got onto this site, so I can get bonked silly by a variety of different fellas...love it NSA is fine by me...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'MrandMrsErotic' I hear you TR, and an interesting set of observations. I esp like the capital letters (shouting). Peoples tolerance/intolerance to various things is amusing to note. . Mr E. Hmm .. Fair point that I've never really given much thought to. I use CAPS in my profile in the absence of being able to use italics. I would use italics in place of CAPS so as to be clearly understood, not so as to come across as rude or 'shouting'. Think I might need to take this point you make here on board Mr E, as I wouldn't want someone misinterpreting my use of capitals. I never shout at people, I'm a regular bloody pussycat if I do say so myself and I purr loudly when petted the right way! . Flirty x
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RHP User
14 years ago
The testimonials that RHP run seem to show that quite a few lucky folk do actually find Mr or Mrs Right here instead ofMr or Mrs Right now.I have reached a stage in my life where I am over one night stands and looking for a relationship with some substance as well as some fabulous, ongoing, mutually mind & body blowing sensual sex..Is that too much to ask for?
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RHP User
14 years ago
....is of the utmost importance in a healthy relationship. There is no reason at all that two singles couldn't find each other on RHP. With that one aspect of their relationship outin the open, they could focus on finding other similarities to build upon.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Yes. your profile is a very good read. Well done that woman.I love the way you have a small "a" attraction after physical. LOL
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quote Kris -_ChasieWhy cant someone find the love of their life here? The testimonials that RHP run seem to show that quite a few lucky folk do actually find Mr or Mrs Right here instead ofMr or Mrs Right now.I have reached a stage in my life where I am over one night stands and looking for a relationship with some substance as well as some fabulous, ongoing, mutually mind & body blowing sensual sex..Is that too much to ask for?I'm with you Girl ...
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RHP User
14 years ago
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RHP User
14 years ago
I like to think my profile is clear about what I'm looking for. I'm an eternal optimist. If cupid strikes then I have no problem with "living happily ever after". I have no expectations of finding a bf or liife partner here or anywhere else, but don't rule it out either. People buy lottery tickets not really expecting to win but occasionally they hit the jackpot. In the meantime, a FWB arrangement at least meets the physical side that all humans need fulfilling. This site is all about meeting like minded people. How good is that!
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Mr_MrsJones
14 years ago
I have to admit that I went and read our profile for the first time in a while after reading this question. I have been aware for a while it needs a revamp but I think it has just moved up the priority list!!! I agree when looking at other profiles (mainly couples) I get really put off by people who are explicit about what they DON'T want but don't really say a lot about what they DO want. However I will say that when you get into swinging (as a couple) it is hard to say what you want because you don't really know what you can have!!! So I can see why people who are relatively new and still feeling their way get into the thing about saying what they don't want. Especially if they have a couple of experiences that they want to avoid! Mrs Jones
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RHP User
14 years ago
My profile is pretty clear. I've been on here for some years, under different profile names, and I know how it works. I also know, from personal experience, that it's entirely possible to stumble across someone who sets your heart on fire and who you can completely fall in love with. I have profiles on a few different sites, but I come back to sites like this because I find the people are much more real (as compared to, say R S V P, where I find them utterly up themselves). Sure, there are some tossers here - men and women - but like any pub, this site is just a microcosm of society so you're bound to get all sorts.Yes, most people on here have a particular bent towards NSA sex, or variations on that theme, but not everyone. Not even all the men, which is a lovely surprise :) And some people are willing to have a casual liaison here and there, along the way, while in their heart they're still hoping to find someone special. I've been that person in the past, I'm just not that person right now. Right now, I'm holding out for the someone special, wherever he might be (and I accept the possibility that he might just be here somewhere, even if others find that laughable).I get all sorts of messages on here. People saying I'm on the wrong site and stop wasting my time (seriously, how is it any of their business??!!) and people saying it's refreshing to see someone who's so clear in their profile and who's open to a real connection. I don't judge any of the emails I get, or any of the other profiles on here. I value the openness of the community and I trust that the vast majority of people are normal folk, leading normal lives, and reflecting the very broad range of sexual interests that live in our normal society. Although I do find the notion that this is a 'sex site' and therefore people are fools unless they're on here for anything other than a casual f**K, to be immature and narrow-minded. I detest judgement of others. Nothing pisses me off more. Of course, I'm as guilty of it as the next person :)
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RogueGeek
14 years ago
"So what is it that you do want? and is it really appropriate to be on a sex site if your looking for some one to be your cuddly up, take me to dinner best friend fuck buddy. I call that a boyfriend."And it was so much fun. Somebody once told me the different between a 'boyfriend' and 'FWB' is that you would move in and make a life with the first, but not with the second. Unfortunately (for me) my FWB found himself a girlfriend, and even though we are still friends I miss a lot of the things we used to do together (yes, including the sex!).Cheers,MS
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Nath1976' And so mentioned half jokingly to the mrs that she may even have to confirm the fact she's fine with me playing. She didnt seem wrapped by the idea as she doesnt want all the details and would rather I sort things out on my own, but eventually said that if thats what it would take then she'd do it. There's an option to upload a video introduction (it's locked like your PG). Why not make a short vid of her sitting with you giving her permission for you to play, rather than have her speak to women she'd rather not have to deal with directly?She can even state in the video any terms she wishes to impose and you can give any doubters access to the vid as you see fit?xx SarahPS IMO the problem with married guys is that their wife is entitled to all the prime-time play opportunities, it's rare you'll find a girl who wants to be the one to get the scraps.
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RHP User
14 years ago
MMMmm....well Im pretty sure my profile reflects where my head/heart is at present...is it a true representation. ?.yes I think it is...I know that I still haven't found what Im looking for, but Im ok with that...as life at times tends to interfere with my RHP life...it is what it is... Do I want a boyfriend/partner ?...well yes ...Im 47 years old (married three times, widowed twice and divorced once) and to be honest, I hope Im not on here at 57 years old..I hope in time that I am buidling a sembalnce of a life with someone one day...I do...but until that happens and if it happens, well in the mean time I will enjoy whatever comes my way...I do want my world to be rocked...it has before and I do hope it happens again...having said that though, I count myself as indeed fortunate that I have known great love/sex etc (and lost it)....some people never experience that ever..so if I died tomorrow I can honestly say that I too was loved and loved. Another perspective though...my last ex and I met on this site 3 years ago....we started off as a one niter, developed into swing buddies, then FWB then somewhere along the way he stated he would like us to be exclusive...in time the words "I love you" were exchanged and then we played house with the white picket fence scenario...and for a while..it was great..I was happy...interestingly enough though, when the fighting began (mainly over his constant cheating) he would often say to me..."What did I expect from this relationship seeing we met on a sex site and we never dated ???" .. a interesting thought..so what our relationship was defined by how met, not how we were together ?? - he told me that he never got to "know" me....funny..when your intimate with someone and in that post coital glow I think you can get to know someone pretty damn well, if you chose to let your mask slip and your guard down.. His justification for cheating was..."but we met on a sex site ..what did I expect ? " - "um gee I didnt expect you to screw around on me hon...just because we met on a sex site..cause you know I love you and it hurts !!!" apparently conventional "rules" like please dont cheat on me, flew out the window because we met on a sex site !!!!......I wonder if things culd had been different (for his thinking) if we had like met like down at the pub, thru work, in the aisle 5 at Coles ???? His back on site now, looking for "nothing too serious. and NSA fun" ..and that works for him....this site is open to interpretation...we can only put out and hope to find what we are looking for....but trust me Ive been on the vanilla sites too (still am) ..plenty of sleaze buckets on there....I find RHP for want of better words "more honest"...no mind fucks games, but of course that is my experience... What I have found and indeed I consider myself blessed to have found , thru both my profile, forum postings, and meetings of the Scarlet Women group, is the most awesome, strong, liberated, brave, funny, sexy, kind compassionate ladies , I have ever met.....truely amazing women, who have shared their stories with me, both funny and sad, and Im so lucky to have stumbled across these women.......If subconsciously I have been searching for love, support, kindness, laughter and strength then I have found it thru contact with these ladies ........perhaps I have found what I am looking for ..what I need rite now at this time in my life......thankyou ...you gorgeous women,........xx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Looking more for a Mr Right Now but wouldn't be against a Mr Right if I met him. I would prefer the Mr Right Now be ongoing and not just a once off though. While I enjoy meeting new people I like to have a connection of some kind with the person I'm sleeping with.
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RHP User
14 years ago
We love to be loved. We lie to be loved and present and posture to be loved. Friends are loved, family are loved. We all love love and I think 99% of us need to be loved.A night alone, tv, some music... alone.So much improved with the laugh of a friend, someone you love. RHP is simply an introduction. Profile descriptions are as inaccurate as profile images, yet it is great to have a selection and some times we need to taste a bitter apple to know that appearances seldom hold true. We dress to impress, is that not a profileBut this thread confronts the morals of lust, the need for sex, an embrace, the kiss, the self indulgent need for pleasure. In younger days I would have said that the man is the animal on the prowl. I now see no divergence in the needs of man and woman. I just see needs.I attempt to read the lines between, and as randomly as I meet strangers on the street I do smile and make welcome for you do not know someone till eye meets eye, dance with the devil, surrender to a dream, or take it as it comes. Its better to be in company then alone.That's why I am here. I am but human.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I'll ask her and see what she thinks. Just helped her set up her own account here so there's another option for contact. Plus she has also decided to see if she has more luck with the threesome thing.
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RHP User
14 years ago
The only negativity I can see on here are two girls that forget their stories and it changes all the time! Haha! Too amusing! . Anyway, my profile is full of what I don't want and I get offers every day a few times a day! I rarely hear from guys I don't want...this is a sex site and I'll be fucked if I am going to root someone that I am not attracted to! Besides, I get at least 3 messages a week complimenting me on my profile as MOST get the humour in it! And yes, I do get sex and I get to meet some wonderful down to earth good looking men with personalities who love to satisfy! My profile does me more good than harm! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Thankyou for bringing the subject up!It does make you wonder why people are here sometimes... Myself, i think my profile clearly states what i am looking for! I didn't feel the need to throw in negative comments and shit that i don't want!Apparently this is not the way though... if you want to get into someones pants on here, you gotta do the wine n dine saga! Well mostly anyways! What ever happened to the women that just like sex?? the ones that love a good hammering left breathless and wanting more? When my ex and i were using this site as a couple, it was as simple as, Hi, your hot, lets get together and fuck the night away! No hassles what so ever, they would come around or we would go to their house, do what we came do do after a couple of drinks and go home happy! Now, as a single male, shit aint easy! Are there any women out there that would just like to get straight to the point?? Ok, fair enough i don't mind the quick chats and a warm up session, but meeting a few times for coffee n drink is taking the piss a bit i think!Anyways, end of rant and thanks for reading :PGuy
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blueballs212
14 years ago
Everyone lies.Only a few just fuck.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Well I think our profile says it all and I think we are in the right place... We just want some nice friends with benefits.. If this mean fucken silly sure but that life I hope our profile reads well many people tell us they like it.... I always say any sex is good sex (well I hope so)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Love it....car keys..yep..why fret about people, relationships,sex, bonks when its the simple stuff in life we should be reeely worry about like car keys.....yah
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RHP User
14 years ago
has changed as my journey has changed since being on RHP.In the beginning i was looking to fuk the "pain away" with any one l fancied. (Just come out of a 20 year vanilla marriage) It was like being a kid in a candy shop. I went to swingers parties, swingers clubs and fuked "dates" before we even got to coffee. The fantasies l wanted to fullfill and did...... I tried everything and almost anyone. Was awesome. l embrace RHP literally lol. Then a few months later l was over randoms and had tried everything i wanted to try and i will admit will do it all again hehehe....however getting over randoms meant i was on the search for FWB's so my profile changed again. l found enough FWB's to satisfy my needs for adventurous "fun times". l was able to explore my kinks/fetish's better as well. Then at the begiining of this year l was getting over having several FWB's to fullfill all my needs and thought "wonder if there is just one out there who likes what I like, has a healthy attitude towards sex and so on. Although l was quite happy to go on with FWB's and you know how it goes.....drop a few and pick up a few more. Some like anal some don't. some like a slapin and some dont and so on.....Then out of nowhere in strolled this tall dark handsome man who is as passionate about sex and life as l am with a great attitude. We have both been players and will explore this area again in the future as a couple. For now we are exploring each other. The best thing is we have the same level of deviousness along with the experience to go with it. For me l wasnt looking for a relationship nor had l dismissed the idea either. Though l thought if ever l wanted one l would look here first as we already have something in common and thats a healthy apprach to sex. As for the other "dating websites" sifting through to much shit and majority of them think a spit roast is just that....... was a waste of time. So my profile has changed again and now on here to organise social events and of course keep in touch with everyone. l like the WA RHP community and have met some wonderful people. Thats why im here...i'm in the right placexxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Jamnp- I could not agree more. A lot of the time I find that it seems that a fair few woman on dating sites whether it be oasis , RHP benaughty are basically their just to have their egos stroked with no intention of meeting. Yes of course not all woman are the same and I am not saying that at all would do this, but a fair few do. Again like James aid, the moment all these demands start coming out, and there is no actual intention to get to know the person past their cock shot or face pic the woman's profile is automatically dropped. Whats the use of climbing a mountain if you have no idea of whats at the top? and there is a constant discouragement to pursue or try. James also mentioned the "I drink socially" comment and I too agree with this along with the cliche "I love to travel", "I am a professional woman", or "I love to go clubbing or party"
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'caitsidhe' Do I have to choose between a boyfriend OR a bonk...I honestly thought if I had a boyfriend I would get to bonk him senseless!
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RHP User
14 years ago
nothing else to comment
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RHP User
14 years ago
The only negativity I can see on here are two girls that forget their stories and it changes all the time! Haha! Too amusing! Sorry but that comment went over my head. Not sure how it relates to the topic. I would think that stories and profiles change all the time here and that is my point. Its the need of people at a particular point of time in their lives. For me its a sex site For someone else its a friends with benefits For others it may be a more honest and open way to find a partner. I gather your haha too amusing is irony? I guess you must know them off-line to know the real them huh? And know they are changing their story all the time? Sorry but I am just not clear how this relates to the topic. What I am saying is perhaps we need to do just that,change our profile desires to match a point in time. It was not about how affective your profile is or how many times you as an individual have sex. Or flirts etc All I can say is that congratulations if your getting all the attention you need, then your profile is a good match for what you need. Some really good posts on this topic people, well thought out and very insightful. We do have smart and sexy bunch of people on here.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Well tuscanred if your offering a bonk I would luv one.... You have very sexy legs...... GT
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RHP User
14 years ago
Its a question that doesnt need to be asked.. Why bother with small talk .. but if you liek .. i willpretend i care and even pretend to listen to your story... Just drop on by fuck and leave.. its what you do when with a partner anyway.. God imagine if you had to have a coffee or a drink everytime you wanted to get a shot away ..Fuck THAT then i can get back to trying to find my dam keys
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RHP User
14 years ago
Interested in the collective opinion, however in our experience is is often relatively easy to find people who are lear about what they don NOT want, rather than others who have the self confidence/knowledge to know what they DO look for..........................Is the negative generally easier to express than the positive, we wonder.Over to you..........B & l
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RHP User
14 years ago
Have used this as a way to go ahead with woman bashing! These men say completely different things in either the chatroom or on other posts! Some women are on here just for sex and are not looking for a relationship...but if we don't have sex with them then we are cock teasers or sluts or "fat"...bwahahahaha! If a girl doesn't want to have sex with you then move on...If you feel that she does get emotionally attached after a root or two then nicely back off...no need for nastiness! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'jamesnp' If I see a list of "I don't want...", I'll skip to the next profile. I don't even bother to look at anything else. What's the point in contacting someone who is clearly very negative already. The conversation is likely to go something like this "So do you drink?" "Yes, I have a couple every now and then" "sorry, that's not going to work for me. that means you're piss head".The automatic conclusion is the worst case scenario. This isn't to say there isn't adequate cause for their cynicism but it sure as hell is extremely unattractive. Well said!
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RHP User
14 years ago
What im really looking for?Originally, 10 years ago when i sigbned up here.. i was looking for heaps of FWB.. that i got. Now, im ready to settle down. So Im looking for Love in all the places impossible...
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RHP User
14 years ago
It's about having 'needs' met isn't it. We all have different ones. Some with coincide with yours and you will fulfill each other, others not. Is it appropriate to be on here if you are looking for 'romance'? I might ask the same question of the many who have profiles here and on more 'conventional' dating sites - sex or romance...at some stage, the line blurs, for many of us. For the 'hardcore' fuckers, maybe we should have a dedicated site... [email protected] At the end of the day, who else do you have to please but yourself and the ones that you might strike a spark with.. it's up to you to negotiate the deal.. no one else's business - whether it be fucking, fun, fun and fucking, romance, romance and fucking, fucking romance or dressing up in each others clothing, sucking on nitrogen filled balloons and running around singing in silly voices.
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RHP User
14 years ago
.... correction..yeesh, 'Some WILL coincide with yours...
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RHP User
14 years ago
I only have a profile on this site as I see most, if not all, of the others as dating sites and I am not here to date. I am here for sex. There I said it! Carnal, passionate, sweaty, great sex. I thought a few years back that to have great sex you had to really know and love someone. How wrong I was! I met a guy on this site and he was my FWB for about 4 years. We would see each other when we could, which was not all that often, but we would have mind blowing sex! We never went out to dinner, never went to movies, I never cooked for him and I never made him a coffee. Our nights were several bottles of cola, some bourbon, maybe some wine and hours and hours of sex. He would usually arrive around 10 pm and would leave about 8 or 9 in the morning and we never slept together. Not once! We spent a little time talking and a lot of time screwing. The night we met we were in bed within about an hour. I have now moved away and I miss him sorely. We have kept in touch by the way.I have met others on this site since rejoining last year. Made some great friends but sadly they too are now far away so once again I am looking for a FWB. I do not want a relationship. It is nice to meet at a bar or somewhere nice for a coffee before proceeding to the bedroom. Hey there is the safety issue lets face facts. And are you who your profile says you are? I have spoken to you on the phone and I think your pic is hot but it may be 20 years old! I want to know that there is an intense attraction! So put up with a phone call or two, a quick drink at a bar or a coffee guys because who knows what else it could get you?? Kisses all,L
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RHP User
14 years ago
The human experiment, so wonderful to course through life occasionally finding the turbulent effervescent rapids, then settling in for the gentle laid back meandering cruise being warmed by the sunshine that falls from the heavens, and even the occasional meeting of two waters, however in my limited experience this is usually follwed by a section of deep still water to be navigated with extreme caution, unknown mysteries of the depths and all, above all, the river of life is to be explored and savoured as you go, for around the next bend the unknown waits patiently albeit with a beckoning hand, and to those wonderful women I ve met on the journey who have thought enough of me to give me a small piece of themselves, I sincerely salute you,
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RHP User
14 years ago
I just view Rhp like every other online site it connects me to people so that i have the opportunity to find what I want frankly I think telling people every little bit of what you want or don't want takes all the mystery and sometimes joy out of the meeting process and I don't have a template for meeting everybody that would be dangerous and extremely silly. So mostly I fly by the seat of my pants haha and enjoy what chemistry I do find life is more interesting when its unexpected and I have more fun that way.
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RHP User
14 years ago
My wife is a member and regularly shows me the forum pages. I've joined just so I can put my two cents in.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I'm here to meet 18-30 females with no exact plan of action. I signed up just looking for FWB's after a long relationship but now I'm starting look for somebody I could possibily go out with. Pretty sad to say aside from one drunken message i haven't had an ounce of interest... I'm getting pretty close to that WTF am i doing wrong post which is no doubt pretty bad and I'm sure it' been seen plenty of times before.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Great Q tuscanred. I for one have a profile on a 'sex site' because I'm looking for a discreet sexual partner and not someone to hold hands with while shopping in Pitt Street :) I must say that despite attempts to find a site that actually caters for attached/married people looking to meet discreetly, I find that there seems to only be about 3 sex sites anyway - different names just go to the same database and thus, I find myself at RHP where there are many people specifically excluding attached under their preferences - clearly narrows my field but I think that is the advantage of an online connection - fast track to people in the same space. Taking that a step further, clearly a sex dating site has a different focus that a 'conventional' dating site. Subsequently I'm not going to be putting a profile up on RSVP because that is not what I am after. Time is precious and I don't want to be dating/flirting with someone looking to settle down and have 8 kids and I don't want to be wasting their time either. I think detail is valuable in a profile, but like a few posts have noted, rarely does one actually know exactly what they want/don't want until they come upon it. Obviously, I have a very specific requirement and I would hope that my profile makes that clear to people, without shunning someone who may be interested in knowing a little more. Clearly playing with a married man has distinct advantages as well as disadvantages depending on what one is looking for. I always state I'm looking for a discreet relationship because I am, though I fear there are many who get confused between discreet and discrete. A discreet relationship is private, not necessarily exclusive. I'm not exactly going to find a bonk/lover/FWB by swilling beer in the local pub...thus RHP. Perhaps the 'what are you looking for options' need to be expanded and include exclusive relationship because there isn't really anything that covers people looking for a bf/gf. Perhaps that is because it is a sex dating site and the RHP gurus originally thought the conventional dating sites would cover this lol norty PS I also imagine the more detailed negative profiles attributed to some fems is a response to an over-run of desperates who won't actually read a profile to start with. I empathise. Its probably somewhat similar to being bombarded by 'vote top model requests', or "I want to meet now but please get permission from my boss first" or getting a few short of 6 billion flirts from cams girls across the globe...
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RHP User
14 years ago
It's a sex site, but sex is 50% in a relationship.. Why not start off on the right foot? xx SnS
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MegaSin
14 years ago
Such a nive juicy butt Meeka..... Line me up for a chance to spank your gorgeous Ass :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'jamesnp' If I see a list of "I don't want...", I'll skip to the next profile. I don't even bother to look at anything else.So true....the jaded and idiotic put up those long lists of bullshit and usually they would be happy with a few impefections but maybe are just scared of someone judging them too....i smoke i drink and i love fucking....nothing bad about any of these there are personal choices and if you don't have the time to find out well cya later...
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RHP User
14 years ago
been on the site a whole week...... another angle to consider! at 38 i've been spoken for all of my life... been currently single for the past year... in that time i've only shagged one older lady nsa... and only recently.... hmmm, now i've got a taste for it!.... what do i want?? well being quite the rookie in this vast ocean of opportunity, i'm purely hoping to enjoy the all encompassing experience of what it may bring... sex, or no sex... pure experience... it's all new to me so happy to have a chat and see where that takes my senses.... maybe to a few bedrooms along the way... haha geez i hope my profile isn't confusing, i'm an honest jock..... also,forums!.... love the forums... that's something i wasnt expecting being my first site... what an education!! you've pulled me out of my self induced, spiritual hippy slumber i've slipped into the past year and have stimulated my fingers enough to actually get on line and respond to these insightful banters... thank you!hello to TUSCANRED, love to pick your brain over a coffee one day. you rock!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'jamesnp' If I see a list of "I don't want...", I'll skip to the next profile. I don't even bother to look at anything else. What's the point in contacting someone who is clearly very negative already. The conversation is likely to go something like this "So do you drink?" "Yes, I have a couple every now and then" "sorry, that's not going to work for me. that means you're piss head".The automatic conclusion is the worst case scenario. This isn't to say there isn't adequate cause for their cynicism but it sure as hell is extremely unattractive. agree 100% with you james, this is predominantly a site where people are looking for fun (be that sex or relationship or either) so why would you want to talk to someone who is clearly not a fun person?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Nath1976' With permission to play and having this clearly stated in my profile I would have thought that I would find quite a few women keen on taking me up on a bit if guilt free nsa sex, but am finding that most dont even seem to consider me. Not sure what it is, whether it's the lack of a future relationship or just the idea that i'm married that causes them to balk. most women would have a hard time believing that you have permission... probably because they could never imagine giving their partners permission to fuck around... women are funny creatures
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RHP User
14 years ago
A lot of ppl (guys) fill their profiles with stuff that they think the girls want to hear... so they might say that they want a relationship, but what they really want is a ONS or a discrete NSA meeting behind their wifeys back...I was very much take it or leave it, now i found myself a gf on oasis so just enjoying reading all the crazies on these forums
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RHP User
14 years ago
So if any woman wants to ask me they can message me and talk to me on web cam to prove he is for real and that I gave him a hall pass. I've already used mine ;) I want him to find just one nice girl to play with by himself as he's helped me with a few of my fantasies and I want to return the favour. Curiousgirl
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RHP User
14 years ago
It really depends on ppl preferences and what they want to fulfill their desire or look for relationship or even friends for hanging around good time, casual encounters in other words friends with benefits... For me I am here anything and respect all other members... I love to be here to have good chat or sometimes hang in forum to get other views and opinion and also share my own experience and thoughts. All in all it`s best.... Love with out sex incomplete and pleasure is wht everyone seeks.........
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RogueGeek
14 years ago
I once had a FWB who started called me his GF and could not grasp the distinction between a FWB and a GF. So I asked the all-knowing people of RHP ;) what the difference between a FWB and a GF is. The general consensus seems to be that you would live with your GF, but not with your FWB.In then end I broke it off the guy because he was a jerk and not that good in the sack anyway...Despite the liberties some might take with the notion of a FWB, it is the type of meet/hook-up/side-relationship I prefer (yes - it's a relationship. Even ONS are relationships albiet rather brief...). I like hanging out with somebody I am genuinely friendly with before getting naked with them; and if sometimes I use it as an opportunity to fantasise that I don't have a husband and children - can you really blame me? :PWhat was the original question? lolCheers,MS
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RHP User
14 years ago
I have been on this site for some time (after reflection).This site does not come across as a BF/ GF site, saying that some have found that and good on em!Me? I see it as a adult fun site. Not here for GF and etc but rather meet new people for fun, exploration and more fun. If it does go somewhere after time, then so be it.I can also say at least my profile is real and what it says is who I am. Tweeked it here and there but must say have met some interesting women and couples and that one cheeky group lolThat said many need to check their profiles and wonder why they get such messages in accordance to what their profile says about them. I would say that some women have such a profile to seek attention.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'wetforyou51' Thinking about this Tuscanred , I would like to meet someone (not boyfriend) for regular sex. Im getting tired of the one offs, it would be nice to have one or two regular sex partners. That is the only thing missing from my life at present is constant sex. totally agree on this one.. who wants to have random sex with a zillion different people?? not me. It takes a while to find a lover that suits all my needs & I tend to find that the sex only gets better with time otherwise its a one off & I won't go back again in the first place so yes whilst I want sex with no strings attached thats what everyone says until they meet that person that they think could fit their 'something more'.. in the interim though sex with one or two lovers rather than multiple randoms is better for me
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RHP User
14 years ago
ive only been on date site last few years ,tried many..been on and off this one few times overthe last couple years..hardly get replies to flirts or messages.doesnt matter if i'm nice or straight to point about having fun..most people on here say they looking for nsa sex ,men,couples .females, trangender.reading their profile .seem they not fussed in who they have fun with..but then you will find the same people on other dates site and looking for relationship,over one night stands..so which date site or profile am i lead to believe..nearly all the people ive chatted to complain of sleazy guys being crude, nastyand abusive .being country guy and still new to perth city live ,im starting to understand why..there are those that do meet up for sex or what ever but then their are those that seem to use site for ego trip ..
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