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Paradisepair

Paradisepair

M50 F51

Do you think before you post?

May 08 2014

forums

There's a lot of finger pointing at the forum regulars that goes on for really jumping on people who don't actual mean any offence in what they say. That's going to continue until those perceived as 'jumpers' learn to lighten up and also learn to make their point and then drop it. IMO Life's too short to really give a shit about what's said in cyberspace. There's a fine line between sharing your feelings and thoughts repeatedly and trolling. The only real difference is the level of investment someone's put in there (ie: trolls don't really care about what they're spruking). But the thing is often the results are the same. For me it's only occasionally entertaining to watch flame wars, and never much fun for the poor souls who didn't know what they were about to unleash with a seemingly innocent query. I'd like to see posters make an effort to think before they post. Have a pause, use a kinder tone. Not all the time, banter is fun, but a little empathy wouldn't go astray at times. I do think before I post, I have been using forums for longer than some of you have been legal. Since RHP doesn't have a delete function I am very aware that anything we post leaves a legacy that cannot be undone. So sometimes if something really pisses me off I write what I really think and then hit delete instead of post. I feel like I'm not censoring myself rather that I'm making sure I will stand proudly behind whatever words I've left behind. What about you? And if you do post first think later, have you had occasions where you had regrets or would like to go back and delete?

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I've seen a few forums of sorts and really it's the same ole same ole pattern no matter what the subject. I will only ever give a rather general over view of a thought going on in my head in the forums as it's not like you are talking in a room with totally like minded people who will get exactly what I'm saying. Much like if I rather get offended in a real life situation for someone who has no filter on the dumb ass ( in my opinion) expression they decide to deliver at a party say. I can walk away from them in that setting and ignore them and I can do that hear as well. Most times here I do that lol. I believe over sharing gets people into trouble.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    My sentiments exactly . GG♒️ - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    What about you? And if you do post first think later, have you had occasions where you had regrets or would like to go back and delete? Well, I ain't no Saint. and that's the truth. I prefer the idea that what I say will stay, rather than on fb where I can delete and edit to my heart's content. But I do type out a lot of posts, read them over and delete. Usually these days, I try to avoid going into topics and forums that I know I will get to me though. Still, I think I've gotten to know some RHPers I've had run ins with, better over time and that there is mutual respect. . I thought the tone had lightened in the forums somewhat recently. They certainly seem a lot tamer than I remember in the past. But that might be just that I'm avoiding most of the right threads. . I don't consider the forums as just cyberspace. Too many of us know each other or have friend's in common, and as it has often been said. "Perth is a small world." Plus cyber bullying is a very real problem that is finally being recognised and dealt with in today's world. People commit suicide over the shit other people spout on social media. So, while a lot of people complain about the moderation on RHP, I value it (most of the time LOL). I feel some sense of security in place where I have no control over who sees my posts or posts in reply.

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  • gazpacho

    gazpacho

    12 years ago

    I'm a stream of consciousness kind of guy.Thoughts spill out of my mind onto the keyboard and away they go... then I go back and fix up punctuation, spelling and poorly constructed grammatically incorrect sentences to amuse the hard cases. :p People are easily offended these days. You know what? just because it is on a PC doesn't mean it has to be PC... so speak to the hand. :p Sometimes I even offend myself. I'm fully intent on offending myself tonight with a large thick plastic cock I found under the bed. I wonder who eft that there? HugsGazpacho

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  • Smilingwithfun

    Smilingwithfun

    12 years ago

    If you post then yes you are to a degree, a Target. What I find sad is that some attack the person posting rather then the content of the post.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    ignore *some* regular posters negative 'opinions' (of me or others) and try to stick to the questions asked by the OP. There are only a *VERY* few people who post here who actually respect others opinions being different to their own IMO. And yes, I find it interesting to watch how a thread progresses into some people thinking the world revolves around them and their opinion. I understand that my opinion is my own and I don't look to others to support or agree with my opinions. Sometimes I post ironic humour that the same negative nellies just fail to understand.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    The number of times that writers have attacked the poster rather than the topic is the main reason I don't post much these days. As smilingwithfun says. It is very sad to see ... cyber bullies... Ucky. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Know I don't have a filter between my brain and my mouth so why would I be any different on here. Unless I'm being very serious and trying to get across an important point in way that everyone will understand, I really proof read before I hit send. Sometimes, I can't believe what I've posted. At least typing keeps my hands occupied.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    to be mindful to those I am replying to and having some banter with. I have on occasion gone off at someone being a complete tool but I don't think that I am generally condescending to anyone as I don't appreciate it being done to me. When you join a little community such as a forum, it is like going to a new school, you have to find your niche and run with the crowd sometimes and only then do you really get to know people and their sense of humour or if they even have one and you even form some lasting friendships. From what I have observed so far in here is a good bunch of people that obviously have met and know each other outside of the computer screen and those that are happy to join in the fun and frivolity they have built in here. If you focus on the negative then it isn't going to be much of an experience but at the end of the day, people are people, good, bad and ugly and judging by most of the posters in here, fucking HOT!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    There's plenty of times I wish I bit my lip.. If there was a way get in and edit I would have, but once posted its out there for all to see and interpret . Unfortunately' some have tried to discredit me and my posts , while quite a few offered their support. So there you go. But I must admit that ever since I was ignored , life is good and Im enjoying the fresh emerging personalities .. What they say.. what goes round comes around..

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Sometimes that doesn't work so well for me. :p

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  • Lovinit28andKC72

    Lovinit28andKC72

    12 years ago

    I try not to be judgmental, keep an open mind and I hope I don't come across to harsh. I like to voice my opinion and maybe sometimes get a little bit carried away, but no harm is ever intended. I've actually try to think about things before I post, but what I usually have to say is my honest opinion, or from my own experiences........💋 Yes, knowing you personally Mr Funlover, you defiantly have no filter at all....😜

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    .... I do think before I post. I have deleted posts before I hit the "Post your Comment" button and have never regretted nor wished for a deletebutton for my opinions or comments in the past. I am far more selective these days about topics I do comment on.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    .........Let me think about that.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    are always going to be OPs that divide.....cheating.... cougars...fake profiles to name a.few..... on those threads the debate will get heated and people are pretty much entrenched in their views on those subjects...I think if someone nis a new poster,then shooting them down in flames is unfair and poor form,unless their OP was incredibly offensive in content......it is a community of sorts here,people do know each other offline....sometimes I have been appalled when I have read a post so obviously directed at another poster when a relationship has failed.....and the person concerned has to either ignore it or leave 'others to speculate....poor form again.....Sometimes peoples 'posts reflect that they may be going through a tough time,if you are a careful reader of the fora you will pick up on that,sometimes it is appropriate to mention something to them,sometimes not....single men here still seem to get a much harder time than women here..I am not sure why exactly....perhaps someone can enlighten me....so to answer the original question,do I pause before I post....not always but mostly...and I do press the delete button....often xx Q ....

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  • madotara69

    madotara69

    12 years ago

    will never say awwww again or shudup.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I hit the delete button regularly, but possibly not quite enough. Quoting 'RunAwayJoinCircz' I think the Golden rule should be "Would I be prepared to say this to someone's face ?". We certainly shouldn't be censoring opinions just because they might upset people, but be honest to yourself about what you would be saying without the safeguards of anonymity. If you wouldn't say It In reality, don't say It here. Totally agree. Whatever I say here I would say in real life. I should probably delete a few more responses there before uttering them out loud as well. Fark, I do despise the word 'should'.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    A good argument. In my youth I was known as someone who would crawl a mile over broken glass for a good one... I heard a quote when I was younger... (And the beauty of quotes is that there's always one to suit you... And you can quote me on that... 😋) "If I say something which is TRUE and it offends you... Then tough..." I don't use that that to go around hurting people, but rather to speak openly and honestly. Hp xo💋 Because you're worth it...

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I do think before posting,if its a subject I feel strongly about or can at least put a plausible point across I will,yes I have the odd tongue in cheek or maybe flippant remark and even sarcastic ones but on a lesser important subject,serious topics are addressed correctly the not so serious well then my eyes light up and a little sarcasm may be strewn,well I cant always be serious.... - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • madotara69

    madotara69

    12 years ago

    with, Shoop shoop Diddy Wop Cumma Cumma Wang Dang

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Opinions are like arseholes....... But some arseholes have valid opinions. lol

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    For agreeing that I have something valid to say ...occasionally. I, usually only get on my high horse when people state things as fact that are untrue. But when it comes to opinion, everyone can have one and I will flick though the ones I don't agree with.

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  • rupamohan

    rupamohan

    12 years ago

    I visit this forum once a while...and don't have time to check if some one replied to me but yes before posting I do stop and think to remind myself that I have to check my post belongs to which boards. Then I look around the screen. Once RHP logo is confirmed I realize it is time to stop thinking and click send. After this I leave the place for regulars to enjoy this place without any further disturbance. Not that anybody is capable of disturbing the regulars but just in case...

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I would probably ignore it or block it Or use it once and throw it away My god people, I am blonde get a grip, you want me to think! LadyT needing a restraint button

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100' Sometimes that doesn't work so well for me. :p Me too!! lol

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I often go to write on the forum and then think and don't post.When I do, I am so proud of myself! (tongue in cheek) Recently I was an OP (special day for moi) and I was asking about how do you find people online.....Most responses jumped straight to defend themselves. Maybe, myself included could actually read the subject, think, then act. Or not! lol

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    ..but I do try to think before I hit that wide, green comment tab. It's much easier to retract something verbally than to dig my way out of a slow wifi connection or mounting heated replies. Or so I imagine…I'm not here to pick fights, that's counterproductive and more than a bit lame from the safe seat behinda glowing screen.I agree that life IS too short to be wasted on cyber arguments..and who's going to care in 36 or so hours anyway?Something old suddenly becomes new again and is a hot topic for debate once more.. : ) I enjoy the reading of, the lessons and the personalities of the forums. And occasionally, when my interesto-meterspikes, I throw in my 2 cents worth. For me.I don't mind the sound of my own voice. So I've been told.

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  • madotara69

    madotara69

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'rupamohan' I visit this forum once a while...and don't have time to check if some one replied to me but yes before posting I do stop and think to remind myself that I have to check my post belongs to which boards. Then I look around the screen. Once RHP logo is confirmed I realize it is time to stop thinking and click send. After this I leave the place for regulars to enjoy this place without any further disturbance. Not that anybody is capable of disturbing the regulars but just in case...

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I have actually become much better at holding my tongue (stopping my fingers?) and thinking before I type. But I admit I have low levels of tolerance for people who try to force their opinions and preferences on me. I particularly dislike the attitude that can be summed up as 'I haven't experienced it therefore it must not be true / doesn't happen'. It seems that some people are unable to even try and think outside of their own world, and imagine that things could be different for others. I know that there have been studies done to show that people's own experiences (or lack of) will often rule their opinion about something, even if they are shown evidence to the contrary, and I see that phenomenon just about every day in these forums. It's no wonder so many topics end up in shit fights. Yes I have previously posted things I later regretted using words I shouldn't have, but as I said lately I've been making myself think before I respond. Sometimes that means I end up changing my mind and just leave it, or if I feel particularly strongly about it I'll post my response, and then simply unfollow the topic so I don't get anymore involved and waste anymore time on it or on that person.

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