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RHP

RHP User

M52 F50

Do you tell your partner about your fetishes?

June 02 2010

sex

Are you open with your parnter with your fetishes? I have found over the time talking to people, they feel like they can't ask/tell their partner about their sexual fetishes and have plain "English Sex". Love is one thing but if you can't ask the person that is closest to you, "what turns you on", how much can you trust them/ entrust your being to them. I am a panty sniffer addict (Yes an addict needs this word, not knickers/undies), indulging watersports player and tried 1000's of other fetishes as we have journed our life together. My wife knows I am a WYSIWYG person and I think for that she is happy. She laughs everytime I come up with (read or hear of another fetish we haven't done yet) another thing to try and she says, " lets get it out of your system". Now she knows we will do it for a while and as the "New Thing" becomes old we go back our usual fetishes that seem to be the main ones, + 1 if it becomes a main fetish :-). We have done 1000 of sex cams, public sex, bondage, fmf, ffm (fmf and ffm early years with gf's) etc but feel this is a work in progress and the ones that we do on a regular basis, is me/us, as the song goes, "I'm not a man of too many faces, The mask I wear is one". So I say to anyone that feels they have to seek what they need away from your partner, be honest, be you. A relationship is a tradeoff, an understanding that we all are in individuals and for two people to live in harmony, one gives and another accepts that person for it. We all have idiosyncrasies and if we can't make room for that with the ones that we love, you have no right in asking for the room. Now I'm not saying this is the world that you live! and we have help out others with what they need but talk with your other, take small steps, understand the other persons needs but understand. We get told we are lucky and "in a few" but I disagree, we are honest with each other. Life is not a rut nor is your partner, so make inroads to your needs (slowly). I will admit I took my "Hardhead woman" (great song and what I needed) but let her know who I was and although I was what she wanted and she was for me, that for 2 lives to join, we needed room and understand for each other!!!!!! For anyone with doubts, I had a Hardhead woman with a steel capped, Ned Kelly, 3 cannon, 1 Nuke, 4 brother girl to bond with. So to end my rant, I post the words of Cat. I'm looking for a hard headed woman,One who will take me for myself,And if I find my hard headed woman,I will need nobody else, no, no.I'm looking for a hard headed woman,One who will make me do my best,And if I find my hard headed womanI know the rest of my life will be blessed -- yes, yes, yes.I know a lot of fancy dancers,people who can glide you on a floor,They move so smooth but have no answers.When you ask "Why'd you come here for?""I don't know" "Why?"I know many fine feathered friendsbut their friendliness depends on how you do.They know many sure fired waysto find out the one who paysand how you do.I'm looking for a hard headed woman,One who will make me feel so good,And if I find my hard headed woman,I know my life will be as it should -- yes, yes, yes.I'm looking for a hard headed woman,One who will make me do my best,And if I find my hard headed woman... NO ROOM FOR "CAN'T SHARE THIS WITH YOU" IF/WHEN I DIE MY WIFE CAN SAY " I KNEW MY HUSBAND, HE WASN'T A SAINT, NOR EVERYTHING I LIKED BUT I KNEW HIM"!!!!!

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    16 years ago

    I'm upfront and open, I'm not addicted, but vanilla does get boring to me after awhile. It's hard because, for me, fetishes aren't something that I can just leap into with a one-night stand.You're absolutely right though, there's no reason to be miserable in a relationship due to sex//fetish issues. Open communication about wants and needs help a lot.Thanks for the post :)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    16 years ago

    Quoting 'Polar_Bear_Girl'I'm upfront and open, I'm not addicted, but vanilla does get boring to me after awhile. It's hard because, for me, fetishes aren't something that I can just leap into with a one-night stand.You're absolutely right though, there's no reason to be miserable in a relationship due to sex//fetish issues. Open communication about wants and needs help a lot.Thanks for the post :) Thanks Polar, in the same boat as you with the gasmasks, floats my boat and have the Russian WWII ones and they really do the trick. :-) Hard to find the leather ones, We like latex but hard to fit and the smell of leather, YES. Found a good Hong Kong supplier trying to move away from latex (Sends u head blue) lol

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    16 years ago

    My partner is the FIRST person I've felt comfortable with to tell what I like, want, desire.... what makes me horny as all get out! Neither of us have a "fetish" but we adore sex with each other and with others (and we like to watch each other). It's great to be able to roll over in the middle of the night and say "darling, will you finger me please" and he says "of course I will". Our aim... to please each other in whatever way the other wants. Sweet

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    16 years ago

    i was tottally open to my last lady ,,,,,,the relationship was great for 5 years ,,,,,,,,but when i started using her dirty panties to strain my tea in the morning ,,,,,,she dumped me ,,,,,,,,,,,,i wouldnt have complained if shed used my undies to strain her tea ,,,,,,,,,women ,,,i just cant understand them ,,,,,,,,,,,,is it me ,,or should i have asked her beforehand ,,,,,still scratching my head as to why ,should ihave asked her before i used her knickers for this purpose,,,,,,and my tea hasnt tasted the same since ,,,,,,,,,,,any advice would be much appreciated ..............love and licks ,,,les ......

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    16 years ago

    Quoting 'Les_1959'i was tottally open to my last lady ,,,,,,the relationship was great for 5 years ,,,,,,,,but when i started using her dirty panties to strain my tea in the morning ,,,,,,she dumped me ,,,,,,,,,,,,i wouldnt have complained if shed used my undies to strain her tea ,,,,,,,,,women ,,,i just cant understand them ,,,,,,,,,,,,is it me ,,or should i have asked her beforehand ,,,,,still scratching my head as to why ,should ihave asked her before i used her knickers for this purpose,,,,,,and my tea hasnt tasted the same since ,,,,,,,,,,,any advice would be much appreciated ..............love and licks ,,,les ...... First and foremost rule, 'ASK" I have never to venture across the female divide without asking. Although we have free range in being, we are a couple! We have no right into going into anothers arena without the respect of asking/permission. Although our life is free from restraints, you can't go into anothers world without prior permission. Once you have the OK, yes go the panties, into the wash baskets etc but make the boundries clear and in what permission you have. I have right to all panties, where they lie and I am offered them when they are taken off ( She puts them in my side bedroom draw) but never, NEVER just take. I find the more high is in the offering (and the smell) but if it's not given, never take! No matter what in life and understand I get off more with the submission in the knowledge of my fetish and the willingness of her doing it!! It's not about the taking, It's about the giving

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    16 years ago

    Got me wondering why anyone would partner up long term with someone who wasn't already participating in your fetishes? Sheesh... Some people will date anyone lol.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    16 years ago

    Quoting 'sweetwithdesire' My partner is the FIRST person I've felt comfortable with to tell what I like, want, desire.... what makes me horny as all get out! Neither of us have a "fetish" but we adore sex with each other and with others (and we like to watch each other). It's great to be able to roll over in the middle of the night and say "darling, will you finger me please" and he says "of course I will". Our aim... to please each other in whatever way the other wants. Sweet Lucky! My last relationship was with a girl who had her own submissive fetishes, which I was not only okay with, but eager to pursue in the spirit of sexual discovery! However, she did mention in the 'getting to know you' stage of courting that she wanted to engage in a more 'normal' relationship. I found it peculiar, but in the folly of youth didn't question it. Anyways towards the end of said relationship, she started to go down the route of 'kink', which despite the almost year of sexual repression towards me, I was all too eager to indulge. Here I was stone walled, told I had no experience in the world, and couldn't offer her what she wanted. After the initial frustration wore off, and the world of kink explained to my innocent ears, I agreed that she could pursue dominant males with experience.Suffice to say the relationship didn't last much longer, still repressed, still giving too much and getting not much in return, I gave up and here I am :)The short version, yes being open and honest is, not surprisingly, the best thing. Anything less, and it's more than likely a waste of time.Cheers,Z

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