Do you really "do it"...

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I have retained quite a few good friends after the sex has been taken care of. One I will never play with again as the sexual chemistry just does not work between us but we share a lot including the same sense of humour. We stll ring each other every now and then, chat, and get together when we are in the same city for a meal or coffee. I have many others that I do still share a great friendship with. Some live so far away that we dont get together often. I still have men friends from my youth that I know and keep in touch with. We all hung out then, many of them were friends I played with in my early twenties. If I was in thier neighbourhood I would give them a ring for sure. I tend to keep my male friends as friends. I get to know them well to start with and they are people I like, some I love (as friends) Those I count as my friends are friends for life, I dont drop them by the wayside as my life (or thiers) changes. It is not all about the sex!

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'HotSexyChilli' . It's been my complete surprise to find that these very decent human beings are more than happy to enjoy a completely non-sexual cuddle (all hands above the blankets so to speak) when human touch is needed to nurture the soul. Mind you, I only do that in a public context where temptation is never gonna run amok... that I can and do share a bed with, even for a week at a time, with no fear of wandering hands. It is non sexual even though we both do find each other seually attractive because some thngs are more important than sex. Plenty of cuddles and even kisses because human touch is important. Sometimes people get broken that badly that it takes a nurturing touch to begin the healing and it is an important relationship if one can recognise that.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I like to think it works that way for people, and still have a number of friends that had benefits and now are just friends, some are almost like family. Most of my social friends are men, but my closest friends are women. Some of them have been closer than just friends too but I do seem to connect on a deeper level with other women. I don't know too many people here yet as you know, but Krissy_G just so you know I do know Midnight and he is a gentleman. You do sound a bit hostile so I wonder if you are trying to make something out of nothing other than someone saying hello to you. LOL I closed my profile for a little while and sent out a few hellos too and just hope no one was offended but I guess that's the way it goes. LaraXX

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Not really the topic at hand as I was really interested to know about the experiences of others sharing the benefits of friends physically, just being f-buddies and more so what happens after that. There certainly has been nothing like that in this case and if I am not mistaken there are any number of threads about those rude people that don't always answer their emails. None the less, I have sent one to you to perhaps clarify our communication some time ago and certainly, very early on when you had first joined this community. | Quoting 'Krissy_G' What i find facinating is how you can add me as a friend ...| There may even be threads running about friends list....and really, I would not be too concerned about those either. Mine, since the time you have joined has ranged from close to 40 to a stunning zero...and I have subsequently asked a few folks whose comments I am interested in following to please add me back in. Only a few spots on most list have any significant implications to most folks here and I do laugh when I see those that range into the hundreds. | It has been interesting, as a student of human nature, to observe and read your comments on your journey and I wish you well. We all have the right to make choices and I certainly support you in yours and as a welcome addition to the diversity of the community. Personally, I would not participate in nor make similar choices...but I also extend that privelege to myself. Travel in peace. | Now then....back to the topic?

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I personally have always used my real name and just been 'me' with anyone I meet. Don't see any point in lying about any of that. My experiences on sites have not been extensive but I have to say they have been positive in that I have met some lovely people. Some years ago I was on this site. I met up with a half a dozen or so people and two remain friends to this day. None of the others were a one off. By that I mean that I did see them all more than once but due to circumstances we eventually lost contact. One as I have mentioned in other topics on the forum became a regular FB. He and I can no longer meet but still converse on the phone regularly and chat through one of the social chat programs regularly as well. I do consider him a dear friend. We did not however ever socialise together. We had plans to do so on many occasions but it just never eventuated so ours was truly only ever a sexual relationship really if one wants to get technical about it. He would arrange to come to my place when convenient, we would engage in hours of sex and some conversation and he would leave. I have found over most of my life that this has applied to even ex boyfriends. Most remain friends to this day and I value their friendships immensely. I am still friends with boyfriends going back to my teen years! I have always tended to get along better with males than females. This may be due in part to some of my hobbies or interest and I suppose generally the type of female I am. I have only 2 extremely close girlfriends and both date back to my teens but I have an enormous number of male friends. Some are exes but the majority are just men that I have met in my travels who I have found friendship with. As for the friends list on this site. I have made it my own personal policy since joining the site to only add 'friends' that I have actually met. One is a friend that I met when on this site a few years ago and he and I really are very good friends. He was the first person I met through such a site and gave me a lot of advice as to how to go about meeting people and how to keep myself safe. We still meet when we can. The others are recent 'friends' shall we say and I have met them since rejoining. I am in communication with all three and hope to see them all again when time allows. A bit long winded I am afraid but I hope this answers your question. I don't think I really could meet someone for anything totally impersonal. For me there HAS to be more to it than that. Kisses all,L

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Up until the last year, I've become really good friends with the guys I've played with. I had a birthday party a couple of years ago, and realised that I'd actually either been in a relationship, or at least shagged, all the guys there (they were all there with their partners although not partnered at the time of playing!).Now, maybe because I decided to step outside of the square, and play with people I normally wouldn't, I've discovered there's a reason why these play partners have been in, what would normally be, my exclusion zone, due to several factors. Outlook on life, location, age, looks. A number of different things... this could also have a lot to do with my whinge about mediocre sex, but I've figured you just never know until you go there!In future I would like to have further friends with benefits relationships, which involves building the friendship first. This is why I really don't meet anyone from RHP anymore.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'Krissy_G' Now too scared to open Facebook, but I guess I cant put off the inevitable The other morning, after maybe one too many wines, I walked in to find an empty wine glass and an empty sorbet container (it was already half gone, honest!) next to my laptop. I groaned. Computers should have some kind of inbuilt sensor so they just turn off when we're not in the "right" frame of mind, however, it wouldn't be nearly as much fun.*hugs* Hope you're feeling better today.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  We met a couple from RHP nearly a year ago and have become great friends. We see each other every week, text each other regularly, babysit each others kids and go away together. They have become very close family friends and we would want that to be the case for a very long time. The fact that when the kids go to bed, we all bonk each other senseless is just an added bonus now. Mrs W xx

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  ..Pondering the question on a lazy Sunday afternoon after a night out with rhp friends and fuck buddies.... I have only been single for 9 months and will answer from my experiences. I do enjoy the intimate side of my relations with fuck buddies. We do other things together besides the obvious. Things that we both enjoy. I like and enjoy many things and not all like the same as me, so l like to have two or three fuck buddies at any one time. I like having a gourmet meal prepared for me by a buddy and yet some buddies can’t cook however they play a good game of chess........ Being single, l like the companionship and enjoy the friendships being easy and uncomplicated. When the physical dwindles out am l still buddies with that person? Sometimes yes and other times no. It really depends on the space we were in at the time or do we have friends in common. Most of all though did we really have much in common or was it just an infatuation with the unknown .. live - love - laugh

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I have to say it takes a bit of getting used to when you're the person who isn't on the fuck me list anymore... and how you handle that comes down to your outlook on it all I think. I have at least one very close friend I met as a random in the dark somewhere.lolz Krissy! I love that! I mean.. who hasn't woken up the next day and thought "OMG what was I thinking?" hehe. Oh well... fuck first and ask questions later. :pHugs Stalky

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I wouldn't worry too much about it...it happens to us all every once in a while, so Don't Sweat the Small Stuff (you can say "Shit" after you look at Facebook) and just roll on. | Quoting 'Krissy_G' I woke up this morning and groaned "Oh No. What have I done" | Been there, done that...and the only thing that saved my butt was taking a little break and forgetting to hit "submit" to a blog that I contribute to weekly with over 5000 subscribers, let alone the visitors that happen by when it Googles. | Now back to the topic at hand....the benefits of friends and they are legion. |

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I prefer Friends With Benefits (FWB) to a Fuck Buddy (FB), though both have their places. I definitely do like socialising with the women I'm seeing, but I'm always wary to keep it short of a full-blown relationship. I also find that when I've got a good FWB, I tend to look around less for randoms, which keeps life from getting complicated. That may sound a bit pedestrian by RHP standards, but I also find the sex to be much better when the understanding of each other and the trust is there.I do stay friends with previous FWB, though I find it tends to fade fairly quickly when the physical side is finished. I have a very good friend who I dated romantically until a couple of years ago. I suppose for me, the likelihood of remaining friends in descending order is romantic ex, FWB then FB. I don't find sex alone to be much basis for an ongoing friendship.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  where is that bloody edit button RHP. CM you can add this to your thesis. Once the sex has dwindled there is no longer a fb or fwb for me . (l have plenty of budddies on facebook lol) l may send them the occasional txt to say ello or a txt for a catch up fuk but thats about it. For me, when they are a fwb l dig hanging out with them and having a laugh, you know all the other shit your talking about...It's always refreshing to have some one new in your life be it for a week or a month or two......you gain so much and not just a few inch's.. xxx sin

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  a phoney on here. Everything in my profile is true (and I really don't want to give anyone the wrong impression) but I find the whole FWB concept really difficult. So why am I on this site? Well true to my profile I really did stumble onto this site quite by chance and I find us humans a fascinating subject and the forums have been educational, inspirational and just plain fun. I am so easy going about so many things but when it comes to matters of the heart I am not so flexible. Sometimes I wish I could abandon these feelings and throw caution to the wind but if I am to be true to myself then it is a true soul mate I seek. I keep my male friends as friends only (platonic) and as much as I enjoy sex and how frustrating it can be at times, well I am hanging out for "the one". Don't know how long this will last as there are times when I am so desperately toey grrrrrr P.S would just like to add that just because I choose not to have FWB I by no means think it is wrong. It's just something I don't feel completely comfortable with at the moment. Wish I did Are there others who feel this way Friendly hugs and kisses, KK

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I do indeed appreciate the compliment...however can assure you that Krissy is a nice person. Just one of those things that happens now and then. Although for a minute there (sorry Krissy, I can't help myself at times) I thought maybe somebody had given her a wedgie...and damn, with that g-string that could put anyone off their game. | Quoting 'redhotlara' ...just so you know I do know Midnight and he is a gentleman. I do try, at least most of the time and as for what happens after midnight... | ...I won't tell if you don't.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  FBS and FWB should I really add my 2 cents worth.Have had a FWB for three years we get on great wonderful friend great sex. We can talk for ages we know all about each other's life. We truly understand each other. Then wham bam it's gotta to be me he wants a relationship (he was sober and we were able to discuss that right now not happening for me). We carried on for a few more months and it kept cropping up so I at least could talk to him and he was sober. I ended it haven't seen him for 3 months we keep in touch by text.Yeah I do miss him but he just doesn't seem the right man for me and I do love him in my own special little way. But I feel it wouldn't work at least we were adult about it and hopefully one day are able to do dinner and not want to rip each other's clothes of .

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