F56
Do you care who you are?
February 15 2015
Comments
-
RHP User
11 years ago
said....The unexamined life is not worth living....personally I loathe all those self improvement books...How to Be a Better You Cos Ya Just a Piece Of Poo...I find it all a bit predatory ..just reinforcing some people's low self esteem...if we find the need to improve our behaviour then because we have recognised the need we are already half way there..But I do think contemplation and reflection are useful things to do,so I like old Socrates quote ...xxFreya
-
RHP User
11 years ago
and if anyone else cares, they need to get over it because that is their problem not mine. I don't mind if people like me or not, I think everyone is entitled to their opinion. I don't even give a toss if they bitch about me behind my back because what I don't know doesn't hurt me and good for them for getting it off their chest. I would probably focus more on other people's behaviours and actions and wonder why they do the things they do because I already know why I do the things I do. I am quite inquisitive about that and maybe that is how I learn about myself. Other people fascinate me and I love diversity even though my line of questioning can sometimes seem more of a judgement than a curiosity. I just like to understand so I can grow myself. I find I don't fit in a pigeonhole and I don't care to because I am many things both for myself and others.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
All I have is that I look within to understand without.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Yep I hang out on the warf, and. Say hello sailor. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
explore yourself first with in !! Understand it Accept it If one cannot do that simple task !! Then exploring the universe will be impossible. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
That Ralf74 is me in another state...... I couldn't care less what people say or think about me, sure we all have moments of vulnerability, but at the end of the day unless we go out of our way to change it, we can't control what other people think of us..... Who has that much time?!!...... I also feel I'm direct at times in my curiousity, it's not that I'm completely nosey, I just like to learn how some people operate..... Life is about learning new things and I think being on sites like this is a huge part of that self discovery, I make more time to read a forum in here then I would to read a self help book, it's just who I am.... I love learning about who I am......
-
RHP User
11 years ago
if simeone is looking at others faults snd not their own. Whats the point you ask? The point is, you can only control you and how you are or respond to life. You cant control others, so the real question in my mind is, why spend your energy on analysing othrrs through the faulty filter of your own eyes? - Posted from rhpmobile
-
AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
But couldn't change any of me. Looked at myself often and compared myself to others. I know I'm different. I have wondered what it would like to be "normal". Now I just pretend to be normal to be accepted by those around me. Underneath all the pretend it's still me. I think I'm a good person so I don't look at me anymore. I shouldn't have to pretend to be what other people want me to be I know, so maybe those around me need to look down at themselves...... But past caring, it takes too much energy and depresses me. Annie xx
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Self awareness is a good thing. Whether you call it introspection or looking inside or whatever, I think self awareness is a key to emotional growth. I also think the lack of self awareness is one of the reason mental health issues are such a growing plague in western society in particular.
-
madotara69
11 years ago
I think you are one cool lady and I often find it easy to relate with your thoughts and inquisitive nature, very much street smart and admire the way you speak directly for your take on all kinds of topics, especially at saying it as it needs to be said and the simple realities down to earth and if it comes across as offensive, then it most likely from what I have ever read, hit the nerve that avoids a truth that in my opinion, did more good than pent up denial reacts with defensive impulses. Meeka, I'm not entirely convinced by the Doctors comment. Personally I believe the explorer has to look into themselves to find what it is that drives ambition and often the explorer needs to find it in themselves to push limits of reasoning overcoming confronting challenges and courage in the face of fear even risking an inner faith or wing on a prayer for confidence. I think what it is within each and everyone of us by seeking the conscious and true spirit of our very nature is what makes us who we are and I find it more of a comment driven by a plethora of personality types and of pigeon holed comedy style one liner for hunters, gatherers, explorers and what is commonly marketed for selling to an audience "the hook" Eg; Pink exploring a political agenda Dear Mr President... the hook ("Come take a walk with me") a comical comment of a personality type, broad with meaning to be received by all types of interpretations, a headline with a catchy phrase. Let’s pretend, we’re just two people and you’re not better than me I’d like to ask you some questions if, you can speak honestly Yet with the outlook of exploration, meanings looking within for care of who she is in seeking, he is taunted too care for who he is and too looking out from within. What do you feel when you look in the mirror? Are you proud? What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away? And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay? So I do look into myself to find questions in order to look out with finding answers, exploration I think so. And wasn't there a somewhat recent thread about the majority of women who find it attractive for men that express their feelings :) ? Mado Mado Tara xx
-
RHP User
11 years ago
1) never take anything a doctor of psychology has to say seriously, especially if they're on TV, a mechanism designed to sell you stuff on the basis of your deepest fears and insecurities to keep insipid and mediocre programs on the air that only an idiot would watch. 2) An explorer the way you describe it has no self. There is no point to life. When you get down to it the meaning of life is that it ends and you return to the same decaying organic nothing you originally came from. Static, neutral and non-entity. 3) Explorer is just a hook, a catchy brand name to pigeon hole someone like you into a neat little box apparently which not surprisingly you have taken to like a duck to water because you apparently define yourself from without and not from within, a little egocentric no? 4) If who you are and your whole life purpose is defined by the destination and not the journey, then feel free to hang from a rope tomorrow and come back as a spirit and tell us how you like exploring the afterlife. 5) I say this because self cannot exist without introspection, yet self can exist without any concept of an outside world. Plato's cave is a classic example. 6) I know I am perfectly well and good and sane, but I look around occasionally and I see full well the rest of the world is in pretty bad fucking shape so its better that I protect what I have built up than try and settle new territory. For me its always been more important to maintain what I've got than to see new mounds of dirt just to say I've seen new mounds of dirt in lands far far away. Stability has always been more important than growth though inevitably nothing in my world could be considered a stable element. Survival is enough of an adventure from my place in the dirt. 7) You say what's the point of introspection? I say what's the point of exploring? At least until you can know yourself fully there is no point. But how can you possibly know yourself unless you have introspection? Unless you would rather wait for the entire external world to tell you who you are and what you're allowed to be? and that doesn't sound any fun at all. 8) The Explorer has no self, no attachments. You may define yourself by your experiences, and you may find other Explorers along the way, but at the end of the day you still stand alone without peer and it sounds like a very lonely existence though from what I gather you were cooped up for a long time so its understandable that you want to break free from your former chains and make up for lost time, I would do too were I a person of your experience, vintage and gender. Alas I am one of those silly stupid people who places more emphasis on my relationships with people than new places. Oh well.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I suppose I have the luxury of knowing that I am well liked and respected so I never have to look too hard at myself. I have never really had to worry that I fit in anywhere because I just do. I can imagine it must be much harder for people who, no matter how hard they try, just can't find their niche but sometimes I think therein lies the problem, trying to be someone else instead of accepting who we are. I think sometimes the key is to work with and accept what you have got, we all have something to offer and we do just need to find that spot where we are comfortable with ourselves. Unfortuantely the media play a big role in how we see ourselves and what we should expect from others and is part of the reason I don't watch much tv or news. I have never been one for gossip magazines, self help books, celebrity news and maybe that is why I am comfortable with myself because I don't let them affect the way I think about myself.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
If a person I am working with is challenging me, I need to find my way around it, usually looking at how I interact with the person and trying a different angle (sometimes many tries) can be extremely effective. I also need to step back sometimes to ensure I am not putting my own ideals onto somebody that I am supporting, this takes away their opportunity to be valued individuals. Self knowledge and looking at your actions, ideals and thoughts can be challenging, but don't have to be negative or critical, just aware.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
while I agree with most of your post, I don't think being well liked and respected is necessarily the barometer of whether a person should or needs to look hard at themselves. The classic example I love citing is Tiger Woods. On the surface, probably the most respected and liked public figure of modern times. Arguably the greatest sportsperson of our time. But, internally he was a mess.......he had the emotional maturity of a 12 year old and his life crumbled around him in very public fashion when things began unravelling. The point is, most human beings put on a show both to themselves and to others and without even knowing it.........what we see and what others see is not necessarily a reflection of what is really going inside. Like Tiger Woods, we are great at wearing masks, so much so that the mask actually becomes a part of who we are until we reach breaking point as Tiger Woods did.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
while I agree with most of your post, I don't think being well liked and respected is necessarily the barometer of whether a person should or needs to look hard at themselves. The classic example I love citing is Tiger Woods. On the surface, probably the most respected and liked public figure of modern times. Arguably the greatest sportsperson of our time. But, internally he was a mess.......he had the emotional maturity of a 12 year old and his life crumbled around him in very public fashion when things began unravelling. The point is, most human beings put on a show both to themselves and to others without even knowing it.........what we see and what others see is not necessarily a reflection of what is really going inside. Like Tiger Woods, we are great at wearing masks, so much so that the mask actually becomes a part of who we are until we reach breaking point as Tiger Woods did.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
interesting Meeka..A long long time ago... Hippocrates wrote about his "Theory" on the four temperaments of humans.. he was studying human behavioural tendencies.He named them after four bodily fluids.Obviously, there have been a lot of books on that theory since.These days, SOME people do studies to try to "Find themselves"OTHERS study them to help their workforce, help them handle family or social interactions..In my postions at work levels, I HAVE to be able to understand who works with who, who will annoy others, who will hold a group together, and how to piss someone off.. (IF I need) or stimulate, calm down or fire up..To SOME people, this ability comes readily and easily..THIS is NOT the case with me.. so, I have to study..The best way to study others is to study myself and CHOOSE the imput I allow to influence my way of thinking..I once ummmm "Borrowed" a rather large folder of interesting and VERY personal information on the psychological reports of 30plus people I was involved with closely on the making of a TV series.. (LIKE a Reality TV thingy) On a number of such things around the world, there had been a number of psycholical manifestations, involving suicide murder and a large number of "Lessers"Going through the depth of that folder was fckn mind blowing... and taught me MORE about managing my workers than any single book I have ever read..AND I have read a Lot.. I read 5 or 6 books at a timeee.. ALL the time.. :)MUCH more recently I attended a couple of "Work Sponsored" seminars from Heath Black, the local footy Hero/villan.. Again.. a very interesting interactive seminar - ESPECIALLY so, considering I can have a situation at work where I inadvertently MISTREAT a worker, who may then take that mistreatment as "The straw that broke the camel's back"I have a LONG way to go to be where I feel I can really "Councel" someone.. but.. I HAVE to do it.. and have to do it regularly.. I work with people who HONESTLY think their shit doesn't stink, and fck everyone else..AND at their administrations, I have watched their workers fall to pieces and suicide.THEY believed they "didn't didnt NEED to change" .. that they were "where they needed to be" *shrugs* just a lifetime of observations....
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Introspection is important, none of us are perfect. We make mistakes and can sometimes do selfish things, often without realizing that we have. I do generally spend a little time at the end of every day re examining the events, questioning the why did this happen, could that have been done better. It is for me just a habit, not something I set as a must do. Nor is it because I need to fit in, far from it. The wisdom of age has taught me that is a pointless pursuit and life is not a stage, living is not an act. Fitting in should not be about conforming to others, it is about finding others that match you. I am always looking and meeting people for that very purpose, as those that match are rare. So yes I do look in, I look in to better my self. I am a harsh and demanding critique, but if I was not then I would not be the same person I am today and though far from perfect, I am very happy, even a little proud of who I have become. It is certainly far from the necrotic, must fit in, insecure mess i was 20 years ago. Now quickly someone tell me my bum looks good or I will start to cry again.. ;)
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Is the contemplation of one's own navel............... and while I sometimes gaze aimlessly at my own navel, I'd much rather gaze at some one else's, preferably a female one !
-
RHP User
11 years ago
It really bothered me, how people viewed me, how I fitted in (or more correctly didn't), was I a good person. At some point in the last 10years or so I just stopped caring, totally relaxed about it and life has been so much richer. Any introspection is purely for my own interest and usually consists of making the observation and moving on. I found a partner, had kids, job done, me time.
-
JDM76
11 years ago
I just took a briggs /myer personality test , which is the source of meekas , explorer personality , i discovered that i am a Diplomat with an INSP personality traits , Introverted , Intuitive , Sensory , Perception , which really makes a lot of sense for me and how i act/perceive the world on a daily basis . The four types are explorer , diplomat , sentinel , analyst , and each has 4 subgroups , depending on the results of the test . The abbreviations are (E)xtroverted , (I)ntroverted , (S)ensing i(N)tuitive (T)hinking (F)eeling (J)udging (P)erceiving and relate to the various types of personality . I found it very interesting , especially because of some things i have been wrestling with for a while .
-
RHP User
11 years ago
That's my problem. Always has been. The thing I am trying to change about that (cos I don't seem to be able to stop) is what I think about. Or more to the point, replacing all the negative, put down bullshit running around in my head with some 'positive affirmations'. And yep, it does work and I do feel better for it. Of course, now I am going to be analysing all this! Thank you Meeka :)
-
Plain280
11 years ago
Wisdom only through introspection in my experience. I first read Meekas interpretation of an explorer and went not quiet me a lot of it is there, if you know me, people at work think of me as one person. People out of work ,friends, family see another side I switch on to being extroverted at work and switch on to my normal thinking caring self after work.Do I care on reflection no, do I mould myself to reflect my surroundings yes but it is not done as a conscious thing it is more chameleon like.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Absolutely I care about who I am. It's important for me to be able look at myself and be happy with what I see. If I don't like what I see, how can I expect anyone else to? So yes, I do spend time looking in on myself. I do it to learn and to grow. Exactly the same reasons why I read books, watch documentaries, talk to other people, listen to other people's points of view, travel, seek new adventures and experiences. Much love, Elle xx
-
RHP User
11 years ago
A few people have mentioned that they don't care or do care what people think about them. See to me, I don't understand why that is even relevant? Are you saying people want to "better" themselves only to impress others? Everyone cares a little bit about how they are viewed by others. But overall, I don't really Care if someone doesn't like me. You would never survive on this forum otherwise. Lol.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Self analysis is nothing new its just an modern evolution and usually support by compelling unarguable science but as Devlin said above be careful what you listen to. Once the world was flat and anyone that disagreed was mad. The Explorer can just as easily explore the self as the any other subject, concept behind the explorer is discovery. The subject needs to be of interest and if you don't find yourself interesting then why would you explore further ! The only value personality tests have are to people who do not know the subject well enough, if you know yourself well and are happy then as you have all said above WOOHOO. However if you don't understand yourself, don't know why you are sensual or physical, monogamous or non-so, love walks on the beach or prefer to just do it... thats when you should look at yourself more closely. Just remember not to be too harsh, there is only one of you.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Melb_Delight' if simeone is looking at others faults snd not their own. Whats the point you ask? The point is, you can only control you and how you are or respond to life. You cant control others, so the real question in my mind is, why spend your energy on analysing othrrs through the faulty filter of your own eyes? - Posted from rhpmobile That is right. I control my actions and my energy and I am very happy with how I go about my day to day. What does that have to do with looking in on yourself? Or finding faults with others? That is my whole point. We are all people with faults, so I accept that and move on. I am not one of those people that dwells on it and is always looking in. Melb_Delight I prefer to look at the positive of everything instead of looking at the negative.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Fit73' Self awareness is a good thing. Whether you call it introspection or looking inside or whatever, I think self awareness is a key to emotional growth. I also think the lack of self awareness is one of the reason mental health issues are such a growing plague in western society in particular. Why can't I be self aware? Why can't look out at the world help me understand myself and enhance my self awareness. I tend to disagree, I think the growing plague of mental health issues, or more like the awareness of mental health issues, is because too many people spend time looking in and dwelling on things they can't change.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'DevlinBlack666' 1) never take anything a doctor of psychology has to say seriously, especially if they're on TV, a mechanism designed to sell you stuff on the basis of your deepest fears and insecurities to keep insipid and mediocre programs on the air that only an idiot would watch. So instead I should listen to am amateur psychologist? Well, she is actually an anthropologist and human behaviour researcher. 2) An explorer the way you describe it has no self. There is no point to life. When you get down to it the meaning of life is that it ends and you return to the same decaying organic nothing you originally came from. Static, neutral and non-entity. A comment like this when you don't even know what her research is about or what she means by that term is incredibly foolish of you. And complete bollocks. 3) Explorer is just a hook, a catchy brand name to pigeon hole someone like you into a neat little box apparently which not surprisingly you have taken to like a duck to water because you apparently define yourself from without and not from within, a little egocentric no? Knob end, I found her comment interesting because I don't look in I look out. So I was wondering about people that do look in. PS The talk I watched happened to be on my newsfeed and I thought it might be interesting so I watched it. It wasn't something I went searching for. 4) If who you are and your whole life purpose is defined by the destination and not the journey, then feel free to hang from a rope tomorrow and come back as a spirit and tell us how you like exploring the afterlife.Who said this? I have noticed that your thinking is very limited. 5) I say this because self cannot exist without introspection, yet self can exist without any concept of an outside world. Plato's cave is a classic example.Of course everyone has "some" introspection. Did I imply otherwise 6) I know I am perfectly well and good and sane, but I look around occasionally and I see full well the rest of the world is in pretty bad fucking shape so its better that I protect what I have built up than try and settle new territory. For me its always been more important to maintain what I've got than to see new mounds of dirt just to say I've seen new mounds of dirt in lands far far away. Stability has always been more important than growth though inevitably nothing in my world could be considered a stable element. Survival is enough of an adventure from my place in the dirt.Well she would call you a builder then and a traditionalist, someone who doesn't value other people's differences perhaps? Either way, not someone I can relate to at all. To me your life sounds very boring. But we are all different. 7) You say what's the point of introspection? I say what's the point of exploring? At least until you can know yourself fully there is no point. But how can you possibly know yourself unless you have introspection? Unless you would rather wait for the entire external world to tell you who you are and what you're allowed to be? and that doesn't sound any fun at all. But don't you instincitively no yourself? Don't you learn by observing others and how you fit into the world. Get out some time and see what is out there. 8) The Explorer has no self, no attachments. You may define yourself by your experiences, and you may find other Explorers along the way, but at the end of the day you still stand alone without peer and it sounds like a very lonely existence though from what I gather you were cooped up for a long time so its understandable that you want to break free from your former chains and make up for lost time, I would do too were I a person of your experience, vintage and gender. Alas I am one of those silly stupid people who places more emphasis on my relationships with people than new places. Oh well.You are incredibly judgmental. For me that would be a deal breaker and you are not somebody I would get on with. So lucky I don't play with children, eh?
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'ralf74' I suppose I have the luxury of knowing that I am well liked and respected so I never have to look too hard at myself. I have never really had to worry that I fit in anywhere because I just do. But Ralf, that is a personality trait, or so this researcher suggests. Some of us have an instinctive confidence in ourselves and we do fit in anywhere. But not everyone is like that. Lots of factors obviously play a part in that. People's personalities, their upbringing or their life experiences.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'giant55' I just took a briggs /myer personality test , which is the source of meekas , explorer personality , i discovered that i am a Diplomat with an INSP personality traits , Introverted , Intuitive , Sensory , Perception , which really makes a lot of sense for me and how i act/perceive the world on a daily basis . The four types are explorer , diplomat , sentinel , analyst , and each has 4 subgroups , depending on the results of the test . The abbreviations are (E)xtroverted , (I)ntroverted , (S)ensing i(N)tuitive (T)hinking (F)eeling (J)udging (P)erceiving and relate to the various types of personality . I found it very interesting , especially because of some things i have been wrestling with for a while . No that is not the source of where I got the term "Explorer" at all. I should never have mentioned that as it is distracting people from my actual question.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Blindman67' Introspection is important, none of us are perfect. We make mistakes and can sometimes do selfish things, often without realizing that we have. I do generally spend a little time at the end of every day re examining the events, questioning the why did this happen, could that have been done better. It is for me just a habit, not something I set as a must do. Now this is what I think of when I hear that term. Looking in. Reexamining what you have done, what you said, why did you say it, how could I do this better. Now okay when a huge life event happens, yes of course you go through these things in order to understand yourself or to come to terms with what has happened. However, I would never do this on a daily basis, or weekly, or monthly, etc, etc. I appreciate everyone is different but this sort of thinking drives me mad. To me it is a waste of time.... or maybe it is my short attention span.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I thought you was gonna change ya nick ta Dora 😝xx Freya
-
MsJonesy
11 years ago
As requested... your bum looks good
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Why can't I be self aware? Why can't look out at the world help me understand myself and enhance my self awareness. I tend to disagree, I think the growing plague of mental health issues, or more like the awareness of mental health issues, is because too many people spend time looking in and dwelling on things they can't change. The idea that you 'can't change things' is nonsense. You have the ability to change anything you want. The fact that people choose not to is simply because it is uncomfortable and challenging to make changes and most human beings don't like being uncomfortable or challenges. But to say you can't change things basically misses the point about self awareness entirely.Looking out at the world is important to help you understand where you want to go or how you want to get there, but unless you are in tune with your own fears, your own negative self beliefs and your own sabotage patterns, how do you make meaningful change? That to me is what self awareness is
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I'm neurotic to my core..... - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Fit73' Quoting 'Meeka100'Why can't I be self aware? Why can't look out at the world help me understand myself and enhance my self awareness. I tend to disagree, I think the growing plague of mental health issues, or more like the awareness of mental health issues, is because too many people spend time looking in and dwelling on things they can't change. The idea that you 'can't change things' is nonsense. You have the ability to change anything you want. The fact that people choose not to is simply because it is uncomfortable and challenging to make changes and most human beings don't like being uncomfortable or challenges. But to say you can't change things basically misses the point about self awareness entirely.Looking out at the world is important to help you understand where you want to go or how you want to get there, but unless you are in tune with your own fears, your own negative self beliefs and your own sabotage patterns, how do you make meaningful change? That to me is what self awareness isSorry, you have totally misunderstood my meaning. I meant people worry about things they have no control over and can not change. I am not talking about internal things here. Things like global warming, why someone else is doing X., Y and Z, why did the boss promote that person over me. They are probably not great examples, but you know what I mean. It is healthy to understand that there are things you will never be able to change and that there are things outside of your control. Worrying about those things is a waste of time.
-
JDM76
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Quoting 'giant55' I just took a briggs /myer personality test , which is the source of meekas , explorer personality , i discovered that i am a Diplomat with an INSP personality traits , Introverted , Intuitive , Sensory , Perception , which really makes a lot of sense for me and how i act/perceive the world on a daily basis . The four types are explorer , diplomat , sentinel , analyst , and each has 4 subgroups , depending on the results of the test . The abbreviations are (E)xtroverted , (I)ntroverted , (S)ensing i(N)tuitive (T)hinking (F)eeling (J)udging (P)erceiving and relate to the various types of personality . I found it very interesting , especially because of some things i have been wrestling with for a while . No that is not the source of where I got the term "Explorer" at all. I should never have mentioned that as it is distracting people from my actual question. I have only just started to be a bit more self critical and introspective mainly because i realised i had some long standing issues that i have been wrestling with for a long time in regards to how i view myself and others particularly with friends and women , my place in the world so to speak , and i guess i took that test as a spur of the moment thing and was pleasantly surprised with the result . So at the moment i am more introspective than usual because of this reason and the why of it is i need to grow up in the mind more than body , i have been an awful person in some regards and i want to change before i alienate any more people i care about . Trust me the dr did get that term from briggs/myer and if you type in personality types or test you will see those terms
-
RHP User
11 years ago
KisskThanks you saved me a box of tissues. MeekaIntrospection can be deliberate thought or idle thought. When you remember the days events, you are being introspective. Being consciously aware if you are learning from it is really irrelevant. yet you do learn. Maybe you do not at all think about what happened during the day. I can not possibly imagine not doing that. If I meet someone, after I will think that was fun, must do it again, or the reverse, that was not fun, that person was a real dick and I will not see him again. That is a inward and introspective thought process. As a student it is important for me to review the day, but I have always been a student at heart and I have always been learning, and that requires looking in at ones own mind. The only inward thoughts that i block are the cringe moments. The ones that makes me aware of what a stupid dick i can be sometimes, not necessarily anything bad, just inappropriate or embarrassing. The lesson was learnt there and then, the introspection does nothing (maybe re enforces "Dont do that again") but make me shudder and wish I had not done that. Once at a swingers party the host walked past the bed. She was very well (sexy) dressed in a corset and matching stocking and knickers. I was laying on the bed her crotch at eye level. I knew her fairly well and thus spying something amiss, a minor wardrobe malfunction, and not thinking I said "You have a lose thread on your knickers." and I reach over and gave it a light tug. (for those that dont know, guess....) Well I still cringe at what I did, and what was worse, everyone saw me do it. There is nothing to learn from that because it was exactly half a second after giving that string a little tug that I knew never to do something stupid like that again. And thinking about it just makes me want to curl up and pretend it never happened. Some things should never be remembered or reviewed, and if possible should be forgotten.
-
Cheekyarses
11 years ago
My next tattoo will say 'I Am Who I Am' That is all x - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
Short answer Yes..... Long Answer Yes.... Why because I needed to find me again, I allowed someone to mistreat me to the point I didn't even know myself anymore...... The truth is I couldn't look at myself, not the inside, nor the outside, I was just a shell and I hated me...Self help books, yep I've read a lot of them and yes they helped in some ways. I had to retrain my way of thinking, worked on me from the inside out. I think to have been where I've been and come out on the other side, yes for sure, it's taken plenty of looking, scrutinising, picking apart, learning, searching and finding. It might of taken 14 years but I actually do really love me now, who I am, my way of thinking, my beliefs, who I found..... Do I care what others think of me, no because the only one that really matters is me, (as the song goes....you can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself) I'm the one that has to live with me, my choices, my opinions, no one else....💋
-
RHP User
11 years ago
If I've experienced uncomfortable feelings, I do. I want to know why. If the ' light bulb ' goes on; those moments of clarity or insight, I do. It's one of the big life experiences for me. That learning thing. Understanding/ enlightenment if you will. I have a vivid imagination and am really connected to my feelings: I am an introvert. I have a rich inner world so I travel inside quite naturally.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting Meeka "I tend to disagree, I think the growing plague of mental health issues, or more like the awareness of mental health issues, is because too many people spend time looking in and dwelling on things they can't change." Yes! That is not good, for me at least. Dwelling on things... Sigh....And I do agree with this in relation to myself. But is that the same as being introspective? It reminds me of (and please excuse me for using this lol) the serenity prayer...to accept the things I cannot change (everything outside myself), courage to change the things I can (me) and wisdom to know the difference. If I don't like me or I have a tendency to keep repeating same mistakes (lol, got a few of them), then surely being self aware can help me to change me...god I hope so at least, or I am doomed....oh wait, nope, too late :) xx
-
blackbig
11 years ago
👍👍 👍 - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Naughtydouble
11 years ago
I believe its an age thing. We spend many years examining our selves our lives and our actions to appease many around us until we realize that you know what I dont have to look at my self I AM WHO I AM SOME PEOPLE LIKE ME SOME PEOPLE DONT AND IM HAPPY WITH THAT 😆 - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'giant55' if you type in personality types or test you will see those termsthe Dr Meeka is referring to developed her own personality test (with the explorer being one of the four personality types she came up with); it's completely separate to the MBTI. The one Meeka is referring to was actually developed in relation to dating and trying to find your 'match' in that sense. There is a website for it if you want to read about it, plus there's lots of other sites to do the test. The MBTI isn't the only personality test out there, there are heaps of them, but the MBTI is one of the most well known probably because a lot of workplaces use it.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I think it is healthy to have a good look at oneself.Whenever I look at life I start with myself.I need to understand how, why, and what I have contributed to a situation or where I am. The I may look at external factor and others. It is how I travel through life. In doing so, I am able to identify patterns of behaviour that I have that may course issue for me and may cause others to react. How others behave and interact with me is not entirely their fault..... I am part of that equation and I need to understand my contribution... that hats be first. I have to admit my mistake and short comings (if and when they occur) before I can expect others to own theirs. To do that I have to look inwards!
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Cheekyarses' My next tattoo will say 'I Am Who I Am' That is all x - Posted from rhpmobile I love this and think that everyone should be able to stand up and say this. The question is how did a person arrive at this.... by saying everyone can get stuffed, I don't care what you think I'm gonna do what I want; or by looking at themselves and understanding why the have certain values and beliefs and because they have challenged themself and worked out that their contribution to the world is valuable and can be justified and explained if challenged . I, personally, choose the latter, but know many who are the former.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Hmmm,some people can't,others don't want to and a lot become obsessed with looking at themselves.I've always been one who has looked out for others making sure I did the right thing.However,as I'm getting older have found that certain attitudes etc have naturally and unknowingly been added to my make up.Put it this way,we tend to go through this ongoing change,ha,physically and mentally,without realising it.I think it's all about who you want to be.Cheers
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I once spent some time travelling in the country and outback areas of Australia, trying to sort myself out.Trying to find myself. A mate once asked what I meant about looking for myself - "Don't you know who you are?" My answer was simple - "I thought I did, but............." Anyway he didn't get it, and asked if I found myself - I just answered that I wasn't sure, but who I found was pretty comfortable to be. I guess the point is, we all want to know who we are, and we all want to like ourselves - even if we don't admit it. Like Elle said - how can anyone else like me if you I don't.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I think we all have a different emotional style and therefore some are more introspective than others. If you have low resilience maybe, or a more negative outlook on life than being introspective can really help you shift that. Also, being introspective can be triggered by circumstances. If significant changes cause emotional havoc then a deeper understanding of our emotional response can help us manage change in new ways. Ultimately our emotional styles are very individual. We all do what works for us, and introspection, for some, can help us shift our behaviours. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I know who I am. Do you know who you are?I don't give a shiat if people don't like me, want me & can't have me, hate me but love what I'm about etc. Does it really matter? What matters is I know who I am & I'm enjoying myself.All I WANT from OTHERS is RESPECT & for them to HAVE FUN!!!I try to be respectful although I can be cheeky at times (but all in good fun).So long as you know who you are that's all that matters. xxx
-
RHP User
11 years ago
hi I'm straight newer before interesting to play with man last night I'm be fishing araund 10 pm I'm going to swim now an hare only mi water is nice I'm get out from water bits cold plenty mascitos I'm make faya to be dry mi cock coming biger one men past stop chat for 30 min after him tach mi cock I'm nerves I'm let him go him suck me had dips I'm love suck me maybe 50 min I'm weary hot I'm looking him cock is not much big maybe 6inc I'm try to suck him for first time for 2 min I'm wants try more I'm bend for him ower Rock I'm telim try slowly put in I'm newer do before him try can't go in traing and coming in is hurting lots after couple min stil hurting but is better him staret fucking fasts I'm let him go to fuck me to and I'm loved is nice not bad but I'm still file cock in me maybe try again maybe newer . - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'sex001' hi I'm straight newer before interesting to play with man last night I'm be fishing araund 10 pm I'm going to swim now an hare only mi water is nice I'm get out from water bits cold plenty mascitos I'm make faya to be dry mi cock coming biger one men past stop chat for 30 min after him tach mi cock I'm nerves I'm let him go him suck me had dips I'm love suck me maybe 50 min I'm weary hot I'm looking him cock is not much big maybe 6inc I'm try to suck him for first time for 2 min I'm wants try more I'm bend for him ower Rock I'm telim try slowly put in I'm newer do before him try can't go in traing and coming in is hurting lots after couple min stil hurting but is better him staret fucking fasts I'm let him go to fuck me to and I'm loved is nice not bad but I'm still file cock in me maybe try again maybe newer . - Posted from rhpmobile I will have what ever drugs he is having. (FFS!)
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Perhaps this was not the right thread for Sex001 to post his story on...but it was raw and honest ..xxFreya
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Being open, honest, sincere and conducting myself with integrity is who I am. Isn't there a saying "Be true unto yourself " ? For me, standing by my decisions is important. When I make a promise, I try to keep it. Also, telling "black" lies does not sit well with me. Gossip is one thing I cannot stand !!! I try my best to be a "good" person; not bringing harm to anything or anybody. Amy
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Too true Freya. My apologies sex001. Next time you have to use lube! Also not all men instinctively know how to fuck an arse.... some are better than others.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
At the end of the day if you don't like yourself how do you expect others to like you That can be taken two ways you can either be up yourself well no thanks good luck with life !! Or you can accept that you make mistakes and learn from it and move on ( took a long time to get there) That's why I love talking to people who just have a crack and aren't scared if it goes wrong in my experience limited as it is you are amazed at what you can achieve - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
What I read about the types, my main and secondary, gave me peace of mind that I could have understanding for myself. It was something of an aha moment. .My scores came out at....Director = 33 Builder = 23Negotiator = 27 Explorer = 17.directorDirectors are analytical and independent thinkers with a deep interest in how the world works. They quickly grasp patterns and see many sides of any complex issue.negotiatorNegotiators are interested in the big picture. They like to examine large, ambiguous issues and ideas. They weigh all of the variables involved and come up with imaginative solutions.explorerExplorers have a great deal of energy and vitality. They are curious, creative and resilient. They have many interests; and find pleasure in doing and thinking about all sorts of things. .There was a lot more to read on the site but I thought this was good in a nutshell ('scuse pun).
-
RHP User
11 years ago
director = 33Directors are analytical and independent thinkers with a deep interest in how the world works. They quickly grasp patterns and see many sides of any complex issue.builder = 23 Builders are popular, trustworthy and dependable. People like them for many reasons; among them they tend to be stable, loyal and caring and they have a wonderful knack for common sense.negotiator = 27Negotiators are interested in the big picture. They like to examine large, ambiguous issues and ideas. They weigh all of the variables involved and come up with imaginative solutions.explorer = 17 Explorers have a great deal of energy and vitality. They are curious, creative and resilient. They have many interests; and find pleasure in doing and thinking about all sorts of things.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
yes, i do care who i am...not to please others, but to be in piece and understanding with myself...loli think lot of us carry some baggage...react to things in ways they know deep inside they probably shouldn't...or just simply wish to become a more balanced person... i had some crap times in my life when i was young (sure a lot of people have...not looking for symphaty here)...but i find that looking inside, and learning to be honest with myself , has helped me a lot to realize bad behavior patterns or unrealistic emotional reactions i have developed, due to subconsciously getting stuck in the past sometimes...observing others , and relate their actions/behavior to myself ,has helped me to see my own reactions in a different light sometimes... i learned for instance, (partially thanks to RHP, and my interactions with people from here) ,that the reason i needed other's approval so much, was because i have never learnt how to approve of myself...i had to ask myself a few questions to get to this realization...and give myself some honest answers...but due to this self analysis that's something i am now working on , and think i am doing much better..:) to me that's what it means caring about who i am... you however seem to be a very confident woman though, which i genuinely admire...and having the ability to differentiate between what we can control, and what we cannot...and worry about only the former... is a skill i would be truly happy to posses indeed !
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I care who I am and am looking improve myself. I'm not one to doubt myself all the time, but it does happen, and it matters to me people in real life like me and respect me for who I am. If people I liked and respected myself didn't I would be definitely take a good look at myself. A good friend tells me that I'm much nicer in real life, so that's good to hear, though I'm not sure why. According to Myer-Briggs I have an ISFJ personality, which tells me (in real life anyway) I have "excellent analytical abilities; though Introverted (I), I have well-developed people skills and robust social relationships; and though I am a Judging (J) type, I am receptive to change and new ideas", also I am "a true altruist, meeting kindness with kindness-in-excess and engaging the work and people I believe in with enthusiasm and generosity". Last year, when going through a dark time, it was heartening to be reminded I'm still a very decent human (and I'm in exactly the right job).
-
RHP User
11 years ago
with my strengths ans weaknesses ...I also know my Myer-Briggs classification and it is very descriptive of my personality. I think knowing who you are as a human being is essential when wanting to build relationships with others
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 15123 Comments: 88158
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1417 Comments: 10229
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2521 Comments: 11674
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2506 Comments: 9759
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 1008 Comments: 5264
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1303 Comments: 5776
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 782 Comments: 1988
-
LGBT
Topics: 170 Comments: 867
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share