F74
Disability and sex
September 07 2012
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
been watchig the Udateables, on the Abc, TR? Very sad show....these people who just want someone to love them.Cheers Felonius
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RHP User
13 years ago
who about 12 years ago had an accident. It was his youngest brother's 21st birthday party. They'd had a few too many drinks and had gotten on eachother's shoulders and were wrestling. My friend fell backwards and hit the cement hard. He was told he'd be paralysed from the neck down, but he proved them wrong. The fingers on one hand are curled and he can't open that hand properly and he's in a wheel chair. He can also walk if he's got something stable to grab onto to support him. He does this neat party trick where, if he hits the right nerve in his leg, his leg vibrates. Literally! Better then the best vibrator you could buy off the net or in a sex shop. He still has a sense of humour and the dirtiest (and funniest) mind. We think he has a girlfriend now and I think she's a lucky woman.
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RHP User
13 years ago
To feel sexy and be wanted by the opposite sex. Everyone is a sexual being. I too have been approached by someone with a disability, but it was not for me. HD
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RHP User
13 years ago
Had enough looking after a husband with major diabetes problem which eventually killed him.
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RHP User
13 years ago
... if you have phone text sex until your nose bleeds, I suspect you have your finger in the wrong place.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Very insightful post, tuscanred. Whenever I get a case of the "poor me's" it helps to consider people with disabilities who have to fight their way through the daily tasks I take for granted. Getting dressed, making a coffee and a sandwich, hanging out the washing. Let alone finding a sexual partner! It'd help some of these vain men who join up to RHP and have a very public tantrum when the offers don't come immediately flooding in even more. But unlike yourself tunscanred, they'd never think about others. Speaking for myself I think it'd be easier to have a relationship with someone with a disability and have sex with them as a loving part of that than just having one-off sex. If it was casual sex I'd have to meet the person and genuinely get along with them for them. I always find personality to be one of the most attractive things. As for my personal answer, yes for someone with a disability that wasn't very likely to get in the way of anything and the answer would be yes for a particular lovely person with a different sort of disability if it ever came up.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'feloniusfossil' been watchig the Udateables, on the Abc, TR? Very sad show....these people who just want someone to love them. Cheers Feloniusbut sounds like i should, I hate tv hardly watch it at all.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I've been watching this. It's humbling and thought-provoking, for sure. My answer, yes, depending on the disability.
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ArtsyLusttty
13 years ago
what about DEAF?s3d xxx
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RHP User
13 years ago
Tuscan you must of been reading my mind this week as I wanted to post something similar. Got some extremely bad news this week regard my lower back. Monday I am having a lumbar spine epidural. I burst into tears on woody on monday after my appt with the rheumalogist and said to him I am sorry that you have to put up with my problems and I wonder if I am like this now, what will I be like in 5 or 10 years time. He just said "I love you for you and nothing else matters". I am currently having to use a walking stiick all of the time and just wonder if this would put people off? Mind you I did get admiring glances from a 80 year old man yesterday! LOL Pusscat xxx
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RHP User
13 years ago
Dearest Pusscat I am so so sorry to hear of your diagnosis......I cant imagine what it must be like to be in chronic pain....however I do know that Woody will be there for you...you guys have been together forever...a walking stick makes no difference to those who truly love you...and your still one hot mama...no wonder you got that 80 year guys pulse going ...you naughty gal you.. Im away for a month recovering myself..but when I get home...I will message you.....just remember...you are much more than your illness.....or a walking stick....you are not defined by either...........you are still you, a gorgeous lady xx
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RHP User
13 years ago
I once went out with a lovely woman who had a missing ear(left) due to a birth defect. Bloody thalidomide She found it difficult at times to find a man who could look past her lack of bilateral ears. Me.... I found it endearing that her shyness about this minor irritation gave her an opportunity to wear her way that suited her perfectly. Her way of holding her head meant she was always slightly, quizzically looking at life She was a lively kisser and eager to enjoy to the full her otherwise delightful body. I didn't quite get that others didn't find her attractive. I met her when i was in Fitzroy Crossing and as she was on backpacking holiday we had very nice couple of weeks before she had to leave and head back to ireland. Mike
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RHP User
13 years ago
One of my FWB's has a disability. With that there is also erectile disfunction. He has learnt ways around his disability. Firstly, I love oral so I am not really concened if its rock hard or semi soft, I like the intimacy of oral as well. There is also injections he can use to make it hard, but I dont know the side affects of that so I only mention it to him if I really need him fucking me, i am super horny type of deal. Otherwise there is ample toys and other things we do to get pleasure. I think when it comes to being with someone disabled, you need to qualify how much disability they have and what is possible to work around. I also have a friend who works with sexual surrogacy for disabled patients. A very controversial topic for many but for what they are doing for those who are severly handicapped or for those in relationships where one is handicapped and the other is trying to keep their sexual activities alive,they help educate. So Disability doesnt mean the end by any means. Pussycat, I have arthritis and can only imagine what your going through. But dont dispair, there is ample things, especially if its back pain. Consider a sex swing. You can do amples of different positions and its like weightless sex so Woody would still be able to do things, albeit maybe lightly or whatever works that doesnt cause you pain. If walking with a stick puts people off, its their loss! You will find ways around it and continue for a very long time to keep an active sex life. The adult industry and amount of toys available these days, is astounding. If you want to msg me anytime, feel welcome to :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Thank you MsVelvet! xxxxx
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RHP User
13 years ago
i work in the aged and disabled sector yes its very hard for people with a disabilty to get laid or even a gf or date for that matter depending on yr disabilty though ive seen mild disabled men and women find love and sex but men and women with severe disabilties men can go to the girls and pay for a bit of relief yet theres nothing for women who want some sexual relief also ive had discussions many a time with disabled women mind u very disabled who ache for affection never been intimate with a man paid or not the only affection they get from a non family menber is care staff etc i know men who have no disabilty and only get intimacy from working girls because they r just not easy on the eye and have some weird habits etc this is the way of the world sadly we all sit in the same chair and say no to someone who is disabled quit a but or not attractive because we have such a choice ive dated a guy who was completely deaf spoke very badly due to his deafness had a cochlea implant he was handsome though smart hung like a dionkey lol sung bloody awefull very selfish as he was not always aware of what everyone was syaing and only got bits and bobs often so judged and presumed alot not his fault but thats how it goes he only liked anal and i mean only anal because he said due his deafness he lost one sense and gained another more sensative to touch etc so he felt the ass alot hotter as in temp and tighter obviousy his wife never would when they broke up thats all he does if he can when we fought he pulled implant of couldnt hear a word i was moaning about but i could call him whatever i wanted and he didnt hear that either lol to listen to music he put hand on speaker and wood floors gave the vibration i could fart in bed to my hearts content he didnt hear it lol and i talk in my sleep he couldnt hear that either so pros and cons people looked when we went out to dinner as he spoke like a deaf person it didnt bother me i work around people with disabilities i often asked myself would i date a guy who was severly disabled and the answer is no selfish i know but iwork all day looking after people i dont want to come home doing it also i have enough on my plate and relationships are hard enough bring a wheelchair and tubes or other things into the equator and u have alot more to deal with if legs dont work etc etc i guess i see the difficuties that just getting in a car or around a bedroom in bed on toilet the list goes on and on as im abled bodied its a added time frame and effort i just dont want all that drama when i can date a guy who is able bodied u can just jump in car and go b in all sorts of possies etc etc please deont judge me and ay what a bitch how mean theres a vast differance in types of disabilities to im speaking of wheelchair bound etc incontinence cant use hands well etc u might think what if it happened to me well i would never wantmy partner to b stuk with me id leave him so he can move on im thinking of a severe disability i see couples now with a aprtner who is severly disabled i see the struggles and the sadness its a hard one but u know at least wheelie is getting laid even if he has to pay for it some able bodied epople only get paid sex to i feel for the women who have nothing out there for them not working men for women only working girls for men men who have no disability dont get laid either i wanted to start a advocate agency dating disabled but for women they often want affection intimacy a bit of love go to movies hold hands etc so it gets complicated and the pension just isnt enough for these luxuries sadly the gov doesnt think u need human contact on adult level remember we all have some kind of disability some r in clear view and cant b hidden some can b hidden well some people cant get laid or a partner and are fine abled bodies good luk to your mate have u thought about dating him ever??
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RHP User
13 years ago
I am living it.. my once healthy and capable husband is becoming more disabled every week suffering as he is with motor neuron disease. Sex is becoming more difficult but, humans are amazing at finding ways to adapt. It hurts me to see him losing so much, but fortunately for us, we have friends who stand firmly by us...and a few cheeky ladies continue to flirt etc with him. He is disabled...not dead. It does his esteem no end of good..for women to still find pleasure in his company and allows him to feel that in some small way, he is still indeed, desirable. I say, thumbs up to those who can see beyond the 'disability' to the person within. You have no idea what gift you give by accepting their limitations, but seeing their potential..as friends, lovers and valid members of the community.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Illness does define who you are..its just part of what you are...a human with a genetic flaw (as many illnesses are pre dispositioned) ...is it fair ?..no ...but it is what it is.......but one is still so capable of so many things on so many levels... Thinking of you honeybunny x
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'woody_pusscat' Tuscan you must of been reading my mind this week as I wanted to post something similar. Got some extremely bad news this week regard my lower back. Monday I am having a lumbar spine epidural. I burst into tears on woody on monday after my appt with the rheumalogist and said to him I am sorry that you have to put up with my problems and I wonder if I am like this now, what will I be like in 5 or 10 years time. He just said "I love you for you and nothing else matters". I am currently having to use a walking stiick all of the time and just wonder if this would put people off? Mind you I did get admiring glances from a 80 year old man yesterday! LOL Pusscat xxx over the last three years I have had three spinal operations. the last one a bone fusion. Pain is my constant friend, buti am a hell of a lot better from the last operation I can almost get my foot up behind my head again..NOT! lol I went to surfers with a girlfriend and she had to push me around in a wheelchair, very sexy but she found this hot french guy at the wildlife park and nearly ran him over following him. Now I go to the gym , so there is always hope. I also worked in a disabilty agency and know the suffering people go through, and finding some comfort in the arms of others is not always an option. Maybe we need disability date site, for those with, and those who are not worried by people with a disability. the irony is that anyone at any time can get some problem with health issues, and its amazing how people just treat you a different way. and not always in a kind way.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Thanks Ms Velvet hun xx. Like you.. Tuscan.. many others here, disability, illness etc, can strike at any time.. without warning and often in the most unkind of ways. There is that saying.. 'there but for the grace of god...go I', how true it is and how does it bespoke us to treat all with kindness, empathy and compassion, we just never know when we might find ourselves walking that very same path.
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RHP User
13 years ago
My post should have read Illness DOESNT define us Shouldnt post while watching the footy
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Cheekyarses
13 years ago
Everyone one of us is not perfect! Everyone has flaws of one thing or another.... A person with a disability is still a person! Society tends to have us believe that we should all be perfect, no one is perfect, with or without a disability - everyone wants love and to be loved!
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RHP User
13 years ago
my heart goes out to u ive cared for many a man with motor neuron its a very cruel disease it seems men get it alot more than women im glad things r still good with yr hubby and u have a great support team i would b the same as u and stand by them of course u married them through good and bad sickness and health its a shame we still have these deseases with no cure with all the technology and wisdom out there i wish the cures would come alot faster for all diseases stem cell research is so important also sadly we carry genes in us that arent perfect and so it can happen to the best of people every single person on both sides has had cancer in my family parents grandparents etc etc my mum has had many times so luky i still have her its a constant burden on my mind i try not to think about to much my sons strep mum was a healthy young woman under 50 who now is a paraplegic from using bushman spray just a mix of unfortunate events has got her were she is now such a simply spray now paralyzed for life and will b in perm care forever im gratefull constantly im walking talking good eyes and hearing etc u dont realise how much u need these basic things and wish u all the best
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RHP User
13 years ago
I am quite armless and regularly leglessAnd my middle toe is longer than the others
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'username123456' my heart goes out to u ive cared for many a man with motor neuron its a very cruel disease it seems men get it alot more than women im glad things r still good with yr hubby and u have a great support team i would b the same as u and stand by them of course u married them through good and bad sickness and health its a shame we still have these deseases with no cure with all the technology and wisdom out there i wish the cures would come alot faster for all diseases stem cell research is so important also sadly we carry genes in us that arent perfect and so it can happen to the best of people every single person on both sides has had cancer in my family parents grandparents etc etc my mum has had many times so luky i still have her its a constant burden on my mind i try not to think about to much my sons strep mum was a healthy young woman under 50 who now is a paraplegic from using bushman spray just a mix of unfortunate events has got her were she is now such a simply spray now paralyzed for life and will b in perm care forever im gratefull constantly im walking talking good eyes and hearing etc u dont realise how much u need these basic things and wish u all the best Thank you Username for your very kind words. It is a cruel disease beyond words. As you so wisely said, be grateful, everyday, for the things we have - we take our basic health for granted so often, not realising that, in a heartbeat, it can be taken irrevocably away from us.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I have friends with an Angelmans Syndrome son in his early 20s. Cant talk, dribbles constantly, can destroy the content of the fridge in 3 minutes, has muscle problems that mean he can't walk normally, etc, etc, etc....They were discussing his sexuality with his carers a while back. He waddled up with his communicator POD and pointed out "burst my balloon"..Maybe I should not say he can't talk?
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RHP User
13 years ago
I have a physical disability. Not in a wheelchair. Very independent have travelled europe and africa.when trying to pickup it is something I am very self conscious about. I do think it does hamper my confidence when I am chatting up ladies at a bar. However the sort of women who are keen to chat etc. are the type of women that I am into as I like a smart down to earth girl so it probably does help weed out the girls who are not my type. But, I do get the feeling that my chances of a one night stand or just casual sex are vastly diminished due to my disability. I may be wrong but from personal experience. Any ladies out there willing to give me a shot. feel free to get in touch.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hi! Hun :) Thanks for being You :) I've read many of your Posts all I can say whom ever you share your Life and Heart with a very Priviledged Women indeed..Hun your halo rarely slips ..It's fu n when it does in a naughty way I'm sure ..Your reply here was very touching particularly because I felt your vibes as I read your words mmmm Well Done:) Cheers Lu
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hi! Tuscanred Thanks for the Topic Hun :) I don't have an issue with others who have a Visible Handicap we all do in some way .. My Neice has Cerebal Paulsy she's Married has a very fulfilling Life.. Infact I've found those who have issues do actually gain strength of Character and Humour.I'm Chatting and knowing a very Sexy Young Guy now who will be down to meet and most Likely play asap. He is wheelchair bound due to his condition He walks and falls over after 1 step.We have a laugh just joking about how useful that would be and much more.. I saw a Doco on the ABC a few years back on this very subject It was awesome not simpering or anything near it..The Couples involved, some were very Highly sexed I might add. But it showed how each of them had amazing Sexual Encounters even the Profoundly Disabled could move their bodies to enjoy Sex ..Water was used with People who were quadraplegics and had other Issues..because their bodies weren't supporting them the water was ..It was so Beautiful uplifting..Bring It On I Say!! Enjoy Lu :)
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