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RHP

RHP User

M58 F51

Dealing with rejection, it appears some need a little advice….

June 16 2012

First up; NOBODY likes it, but it’s a part of life. It’s hard not to tie our self-worth to the acceptance of others. When we send a flirt or message to someone we find attractive on RHP and we get the big “no” or we don’t hear back from them, it sometimes stings a little. To reach out and let someone know that you find them attractive, that quite a nice thing to do. “Yeah, somebody thinks I’m hot and they want me – alllrrriiiiiiggghht!” We feel validated and it makes us feel good to log-on the RHP and find those little flirts and messages waiting for us. Unfortunately, that validation is the same reason that rejections hurt. When they say “no” we take that as a critique of us and it can drag our self-worth down. Remember this: your self-worth is NOT judged by the opinion of others!!! How you feel about you is up to….you! Remind yourself about what’s great about you. It’s not their fault they don’t know that, just move on because there’s somebody for everybody and each rejection you receive gets you one step closer to a yes. Oh, a couple of tips: Don’t send a message asking why they said no. It’s a really unhealthy thing to do and we promise you this fact: it won’t change things at all. Don’t lash out and be abusive. Everybody knows that you a really just projecting your negative feelings about yourself and it’s not cool to be mean to anybody. Just don’t, okay? EVERYBODY gets rejected at one time or another; yes even the insanely hot sexy types that look like models, with perfect boobs, six pack abs and butts so firm you could crack walnuts on them. Yes, even the hotties get rejected too so you’re in good company ;)

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Jennylee and I have tried to spell it out plainly, on our profiles, that we don't play with couples without the other. I've recieved a handful of invitations from couples to join them for threesomes while Jennylee has recieved dozens. These are often very attractive couples but we are still going to decline and with the flirts at our disosal, we can't explain to them why.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    We just have to say, "Very well done guys". Nicely set out, and to the point. Clap, clap Enjoy the journey!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    i not mean this in negitive way..a lot of people dont want to show the pg straight up and thats the down fall of things from the start.people get chatting, flirt turn each other on play with the mind then wham,show there true form and it destroys a dream..now as for rejection and not coping..when you read soem of the profils on here and what people looking for and some of it not much more then sex ,of cause lot of guy or girls going to get upset when rejected.i know i use to,i first joined rhp 6 years ago because i was told id meet new people and have a lot of fun,ive met mabe 5 or 6 people .im not kidding,ive had very few replies to flirts ,usually the,not what i looking for one,and even less replies to messages.ive ha d mor e fun off the other non adult sex site then i have here..mabe if a lot more people were to read the forums as ive started to ,they would understand that some of the peoples attitudes on here just suck....

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Great post, Giskard!   I've had the same as Krissy - for some guys we'll talk for a few days, I've opened up my PG but they haven't opened theirs...after a few emails of it going well, I broach the subject, they open it up, I look at it...   I do wish that people wouldn't pursue the matter when you tell them you're not interested, saying that you should give them a chance, what's wrong, or what is your type? I even find that my most 'tactful' rejection template of 'you seem like a great person, but you're not quite what I'm looking for at the moment', receives a whole lot of 'so what are you looking for?' Well, not you, obviously.   Hey, everyone has their own taste. Some people drink tea, others drink coffee. I'm not a Chai person; I love my Earl Grey, and Earl Grey isn't for everyone either. I've asked on my profile that people reject me outright if I'm not what they're looking for, as opposed to silence, and I take the rejection in my stride as I understand that different blends suit different people And hey... none of it matters when someone who you think is totally out of your league comes along and wants you... and you just pump your fist in the air and go 'YEAHHHHHHHHH!'

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    for being a douche to someone who declines your offer politely. None.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Okay what are everyone thoughts on sending a polite thank you message after receiving a rejection. I do this sometimes, I never ask why I got the rejection, I never 'suggest' the lady reconsider, I never use the message as a back door way of keeping in contact. All I say in the message is "Thank you for getting back to me, hope you find whom you seek" or similiar. Sometimes I get a reply back thanking me, sometimes I get blocked, most of the time I get nothing back (not that I expected a reply, it wasn't the intent).

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    That's what we generally think when we get a rejection... There are a lot of people on here and everyone isn't going to be everyone else's cup of tea. Then there's the non-appearance-related rejections. If in the background of your photos your house is a mess or there's paint peeling it doesn't matter how hot or attractive you are. Similarly if you don't bother with spelling or punctuation. Yes the people on here are looking for sex but attractiveness is not solely how good you look... We get a LOT of messages and winks, and there have been times we've sent rejections purely on the basis that we are just not going to have the time to see everyone... We are very fortunate not to have been sent any over the top replies to rejection, in fact most often we get a "thanks for replying and being straight up"...

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Must change profile....add...have recently painted my house x Hugs H

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Mooka, I think it's a great quality to have and shows class to do that. I never expect it, but it's nice when you get a response like that.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    And I almost always get a return message thanking me for being polite. Except once where the couple complained to RHP without me.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Excellently written giskard (the OP)!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Positive comments on my profile and posts far outweigh the negative.Thank you people.

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