M41

Creepiness and entitlement

August 12 2012

I recently discovered some blogs that have been discussing the notion of "creepy" ie a creepy person is "someone who is creepy is someone who makes you feel unsafe and uncomfortable in a sexual way" (The Pervocracy).While reading the discussions about creepiness, how to avoid being creepy to others, personal experiences of being creeped-upon, I came across this:When it comes to sex and romance, get the concept of what you "deserve" out of your vocabulary--and as much as possible, out of your mind. You deserve safety and respect... but someone can give you those without going out with you. When it comes to deserving a particular person, or deserving to have a partner or to have sex--think of a job interview. Would you hire the candidate who tells you that they really need this job and it would be unfair to give it to someone else, or the candidate who seems like they'd be good at the job?It reminded me very much of predominant attitudes on RHP and how some people believe that maintaining a profile on a site like RHP means there is some sort of obligation to 'put out'.For those who are interested, the blogs I have been reading are CaptainAwkward, The Pervocracy, Doctor Nerdlove, and WHATEVER.Cheers,MS

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RHP User

13 years ago

Fuck me I have got it all wrong again! mutter mutter grumble grumble

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RHP User

13 years ago

Tuscanred.... you only have to put out if they DESERVE it!! As always, I think you would be like me Tuscan, we do what we want, when we want! Meeka xx

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RHP User

13 years ago

Oh come on Red we know you are a bit of an easy woman so stop grumbling. I do agree there is a bit of the "I am here I deserve...." amongst people we meet. I thnk its all to do with how society has given most people a sense of entitlement and they get upset when its not handed to them straight away. I also think men can be a bit precious and feel hard done by when their desires are not fulfilled entirely. Personally I blame child rearing pratices where there has not been a reasonable focus upon realistic outcomes in getting kids off mummy's apron strings. Every one wants and believes they should be treated fairly but the world is not fair so build a bridge kiddies... Mike

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RHP User

13 years ago

But I often think people don't deserve me?.. And that can be taken two ways. A bit like that buss that just cut you off.. ~grins~When it comes to sex and romance, get the concept of what you "deserve" out of your vocabulary

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RHP User

13 years ago

...aren't I entitled to be creepy???

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RHP User

13 years ago

....so maybe I am creepy??

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RHP User

13 years ago

The creepiest person I have encountered recently wasn't on this site and not a sex site per se. From my experience, the more 'tame' they appear...the higher the potential for 'creepy there is.

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RHP User

13 years ago

oneself as a creep would require a degree of self reflection.I doubt that the habitual creep would engage in such a pastime. There is also IMO ,a fine line between flattering persistence and creepiness. Why do some people have a sense of entitlement?Perhaps they think that RHP is similar to online shopping and if the goods are advertised then they are entitled to have them.. I met a man for coffee, he launched into a spiel about himself which nearly sent me into a coma,and then without pausing for breath said that he liked what he saw and that I would be perfect as his new wife!!!!! When I politely declined his offer,he became extremely angry and shouted at me,''WHY NOT''.......why not indeed. He was both creepy and with and over developed sense of entitlement.x Hugs H

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RHP User

13 years ago

You tramp! Your on RHP so you must be a harlot, and and your a fucking anything with a cock he made you a better offer then you will ever get. At least my marriage proposal he said we can caravan around Australia..beats Europe five star any day. What was I thinking when I said no, and old worn out pole cat like me...sob is it to late? On the other hand women can be the same, the give me this, buy me dinner take me here there and some stalk guys on here so it works both ways. Especially the women who fuck a married guy, he tells them he is married and not wanting anything but a fuck and then she turns up at the family home with a bride dress on and has the family rabbit in her hand... go figure.

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RHP User

13 years ago

There's a story of a crazy sick Fu k Whose just not getting much luck He's got a weird fixation and possibly a bath with a squeeky rubber duckAnd coz of that he likes to muck with people's minds To him I say the same as anyone with a brain Really this game is lame insane, inane, and just a boring shame "One date does not a possession make One kiss does not mean wedded bliss One night does not mean you have the right To harass her/me, especially if you later say you aren’t keen, you demean, you are obscene all out of feeling some kind of rejection, time for a little self protection Try instead some self-reflection, introspection, a new direction instead of blaming her and incorrectly laying blame of perceived deception But if you keep on seeping, keep on creeping, keep on looking looking looking thinking obsessing about her instead of sleeping, she’ll turn right around on you Might even try a report or two,Let’s see your foot finally fitting right on and on and in that other shoe What say you crazy Mr Magoo?She thought she might delete cause she’s sick of this sh..it But then she thought why give you satisfaction of doing it If it’s only one kiss or one night and then no contact from you, you’re out of sight… Don’t later expect her here or there, or for that matter anywhere, Alright!! Stalking a profile, we see you looking at she or he, hovering, internet smothering Get a life… She's not your wife, you have no right there is no wrong, she's no commodity, and you're acting like an oddity, She -to you -does not belong!! Now internet stalker of numerous new user IDs (all by the one owner), F"ing BEGONE. Thats the end of my creepiness sing song along, ok, carry on! "

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RHP User

13 years ago

WHY NOT?? indeed, Hesione :PI agree, there is quite a fine line between flattering persistence and creepiness. Back when I was looking for single men on here, I had one in particular text message me every hour, which initially was very flattering. I met up with him a couple of times, and he seemed normal, cheerful, attentive. The perfect gentleman, opening doors, pulling out chairs, paying the bill and waving away my offers to pay my share. Then he started to call every evening. I ignored the calls, then I'd get voicemails and texts asking me what I was doing and joking asking if I was ignoring him...It got to the stage where I wondered if I could make it stop by having sex with him! I'd also felt slightly guilty as if I had personally made him pay on our dates, perhaps giving him the impression that because he had wined and dined me, he, by entitlement, could also sixty-nine me.Then after turning this idea in my head for a while, I thought 1. No, because I don't do pity screws, and 2. It had gotten to the stage where I doubted sleeping with him once would deter him from continuing to pester me.Blocked him to the world's end.

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RHP User

13 years ago

I hope your horrible stalker disapears,we will wish it so....toads never turn into princes, but with the right spell...phfffft gone. x Hugs H

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Creepiness and entitlement

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