F71
Courage...the courage to change our lives
March 21 2015
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
For me I would say that having me time and doing the things I like to do makes me a happier person and when I am happier then that flows through to all the other aspects like being a dad and partner and makes me a better dad etc - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Don't overthink things too much. Doubt is like a wound that will fester and spread if given the fertile ground it needs.Fear of the unknown...not knowing what the consequences of my life choices might be...IS a frightening prospect.But only if I allow it. Easy to say, of course...but sharing my thoughts with others is a motivator to some degree too,as I have then allowed my self pride to weigh into the internal battle between fear and confidence. Am I going to tell people what I want to do for myself then not act on it? Generally speaking, as long as I have my health I'm only limited by my fears. So first priority?Maintain a decent degree of health. Mental and physical.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I can never remember a time, date or year of when ive had a life changing moment of self awareness or a new direction. But I remember these moments being words of a song that inspired me, or something I read. The one that came straight to mind when I read your topic was," Come to the edge,he said.no I cant Im afraid.Come to the edge he said. So I did.He pushed me...and I flew". When I first saw this,it was exactly what I needed to hear.It helped me to have courage of the unknown. Was many yrs ago. Those words are now deep in my heart forever. Strange thing is, I had never bothered to find out who wrote it until I just googled it so I could include it here. His name is Guillaume Apollinaire. I will now go and find out about him and possibly find out what influenced him to write it.
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
I was 15. Young and confused. But i knew what i wanted. Soley focused on wanting to be in this world as a female. It was in the 70's, a hard place to be if you were gay let alone transexual. Did it because it felt right. Never regretted that decision to follow a dream. Even after events that turned the dream to a nightmare it was still the the right decision. If i hadn't i would still be wondering and full of what if. Ive since lost the courage to make the hard choices. My moment has now long passed but still happy i had the inner strengrh then. I've made many bad choices since but know i got it right for the most important one.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Everything changed for me a few years ago. It was during an extremely painful and immensely difficult time in my life. I had a choice, sink or swim. I chose to swim. It wasn't easy. Still isn't some days. But every day I feel I am making progress towards a balanced, healthier life in all aspects, physically, mentally and emotionally. I don't believe in good or bad (see the story of The Man With The White Horse) I believe in change-the rest is up to you...and what you decide to do with it. Personally, one of the best things I ever did was learn to say 'no'.
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RHP User
11 years ago
...with cancer and asked myself what I would be doing if I didn't have to please anyone else. It lead me here. Now the aim is not to hurt anyone else.
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madotara69
11 years ago
It's been with us all the way, Tara and I have been friends from day . So we made friends and our home has always been our main place with friends, kids, some water skiing for a few years. A few years in NZ. Back in Aus Playing drums with our band jamming every Thursday night, about ten years with too many parties playing with our band on weekends. Many gigs out all over the joint playing with our band. And for a lot of those years any other day of the week, with a close friend that is a world class Drummer and I'd turn up to his place in the morning, we would hop in his car and always had some place we were heading too, mostly in the city, for a lot of studio recording, if not his phone would ring and we were off to someone in a bother or fixing things and mostly musicians of all the high end bands, met just about every rock star in Sydney and many who flew in, so there was what ever band he was playing in as well. It was a busy time but enjoyed every moment. Tara was home with the kids and loves her house and how she likes it. My mate always kept his eye on us. She loves him too. Money never really any problems, he earnt plenty of it and I never needed money with him, he would often look over at me driving around, and say "what's wrong", nothing. Then we would get home to our place regularily and he would get Tara aside and ask her what's what and fix it, also making sure he wasn't keeping me out too long, but she has never worried as we came and went. And during that time, 100's and 100's of friends in the circles with the parties the band all family's, lots of kids about. And it all just worked, everyone looking out for each other. Some amazing people in amongst all that. A couple of people died and that was the end of that band and another one. Then it all just slowed down and I think we all needed to settle for a while. I worked with Tara driving a boat, and are bound by confidentiality, other than for the last year and a half unemployed stuck in limbo in a house way out of town in the bush, just us and our son and little girl she is beautiful. Broke and only just managed to keep the rent up and that was dicey for being homeless at various times. We adjusted to it, Tara is chasing our little girl around the lounge playing. We have not had any fights with each other, just still the old rule of friendship. If we were ever going to have any issues in our relationship, I reckon we have tested it. This weekend, with some Green Tara the most powerful Tara of the 21 Tara's mantra Om Tare Tuttare Ture Soha has reached us from a friend Miss Freya, and we are bound by confidentiality again. So without any reservations Friendship and the courage to trust in it. There has been one condition and it's, Respect eye to eye in we trust equality, which brings honesty which brings loyalty. It's made it easy for love too. Then there is all of you in RHP, spent some time logged in. Mado Mado Tara xx
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madotara69
11 years ago
Quoting 'willowtree' I can never remember a time, date or year of when ive had a life changing moment of self awareness or a new direction. But I remember these moments being words of a song that inspired me, or something I read. The one that came straight to mind when I read your topic was," Come to the edge,he said.no I cant Im afraid.Come to the edge he said. So I did.He pushed me...and I flew". When I first saw this,it was exactly what I needed to hear.It helped me to have courage of the unknown. Was many yrs ago. Those words are now deep in my heart forever. Strange thing is, I had never bothered to find out who wrote it until I just googled it so I could include it here. His name is Guillaume Apollinaire. I will now go and find out about him and possibly find out what influenced him to write it. Because that's pretty much how it happened for me Awesome experience of mind Few moments so sharp Answer any question Find meaning Solve a mystery Shortly after the white-out Awe inspiring silence so peaceful Open eyes whole world in her grandeur Mother nature her beauty as you glance up Appreciate something you will never see nor touch Air you breath filling the parachute, it's strings A few thousand feet below is the ground Reach up and grab the toggles one in each hand Begin steering towards the way down over there Feet next touch the X marks the spot ...................................................................X Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
I was left on my own with a teenage son, no job and in a state of uncertainty thousands of miles from home. My friends and family back in the UK wanted me to go back, and it would have been so easy to do so, but our life was in Perth, we both love it here. I had a few weeks of feeling sorry for myself, I decided to had to pick myself up and change my life. After 64 applications I finally got a job, we moved into a cheaper rental, and once we were settled I decided to have asocial life again.....I joined RHP. It hasnt been plain sailing, I still struggle financially, but we get by, and I'm a lot happier than I have been in many years. To see my son with a big smile on his face is enough for me. I wonder sometimes what would have the scenario been if Id gone back to the UK, but I know Ive made the right choice. Ive made some fantastic friends on RHP, and look forward to whatever the future has in store. One other thing, I used to worry about what other people thought about me. Not now.... if they have a problem with me, its their problem.
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RHP User
11 years ago
OP I found it in the Doctor's surgery back in 80's NZ, the Doctor asked me what I thought I was doing to myself, working my way to an early grave. I hadn't been married long so I made the decision then and there to leave the family farm, I wanted to move to Canada. My Canadian wife convinced me our prospects would be better in Australia so we came here for five years...& stayed to breed here. Biased as I am I think our two kids will Australia a better place.Courage or the will to survive...what ever change is often inevitable but not easy.I'm told I've just done a brave deed by quitting my full time permanent job,after only nine weeks, to go back to my casual job twice as far from home. Brave stupid or allergic to bulls hit, I don't know. I do know I'm looking going to join the old crew out in the Valley tomorrow, and if I had to work on my last day I know where I would NOT want to do it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
My first big change that took courage was to leave my abusive husband and return to Australia from NZ. Just me, my child, 2 suitcases and $150. Fortunately I had friends and family I could stay with when I got back here. Since then I have made many changes in my life and done things I can't remember imagining when I was younger. Some definitely took courage such as going to Uni as a mature age student when I had grown up being told I was "simple". I had to test the belief I had in myself against the myth I had been fed. There are still things I want to change about myself. I am not sure if it is courage that is required or bloody-minded perseverance. Great topic Freya
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Dryphuz
11 years ago
there in lies my problem... I envy those of you that have found your courage and muse to continue and create a life for yourselves... I'm optimistic of finding my path in the future, but at the moment I'm lost in the woods...
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JDM76
11 years ago
Right at this time i'm struggling with this sort of courage , do i have it ? can i be a better person and change some deeply ingrained personality traits that are always lurking ? can i be more self sufficient and find happiness with myself ? I've never been a person that is good with self confidence and decisions .
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RHP User
11 years ago
and had no other choice than to look inside at all the dark places in my heart and soul. It wasn't pretty and I didn't like the things I saw so I set about the process of change. It took a great amount of courage to keep going in the face of an ego that doesn't want to let go of the defences and walls that It had built to protect itself. 'When we open ourselves to our feelings, our hearts become soft and accessible to ourselves and to others. The unguarded heart is the only cell from which the prisoner 'fear' can be released' - David Richo
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RHP User
11 years ago
Back in 1995 I became a single parent of 3, they were 6, 7 and 9. I was also running my company doing approximately 55 hours a week work. I became a seriously dedicated parent and put my needs and wants aside for 12 years. Sadly I was one of those ignorant blokes that thought raising kids was easy, I completly changed my life for those 3 and am grateful for the person it's made me today..... Tip
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have had a few of late. My health issues have often made me change , as I think I have had so many close shaves now that I might be closer to the edge than I thought. I decided to go back to my husband after a 12 year divorce. I realised I had to change, but so did he for us to work together. and to also get what I wanted. I did not go back the same woman , I also ask for and go what I wanted. That is I can have lovers if I was discreet about it. that is a big ask of anyone, before I was the devoted wife, and the mother that would always have the burnt chop I never dated when single mother, my kids came first always. I worked myself into the ground, and broke my back that put me in hospital for three operations. I gave up my job I went on austudy and did my art qualifications and loved it as poor as I was. I had to sell my house as I could not pay my mortgage, but got to do what I always thought of doing when younger. I had my own solo exhibition in a gallery. I change all the time, now I embrace change where before I dug my heels in. but then I had kids to raise and was more concerned about survival that my own pleasures. People often want to change but circumstance make that impossible at that point in time. what i wold like to change is my lack of motivation to start and finish my book...every time i sit down i end up on rhp or playing poker..............grrrrrrrr.
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RHP User
11 years ago
For sharing your stories of change and recognising the need to change..it's been my experience that when I needed to change something in my life and I ignored it.that change happened on potential of me XxFreya
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MsSuperFoxy
11 years ago
It's a choice...choose your own happiness. I found my courage in me...it was there all along..it took life experiences for it to come out of it's shell. It didn't rely on others - just me. If a person feels they are held hostage to everyone else's needs, they need to make a choice to stop that. I used to be a rescuer to everybody (family/friends) and felt making others happy, would make me happy. Nope...life experiences have since taught me to stop that and think of my own happiness first. I had to remove all toxic things that did not make me happy. Now that takes a lot of inner-courage and time to do and when it happens, you'll know! Foxy
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RHP User
11 years ago
So I don't need a lot of courage to change things. I'm in my third career and studying for a fourth one. My lifestyle is pretty selfish as I what I please when I please, trying not to hurt others on the way. As want to continue that lifestyle, I've made the decision not to be in a serious relationship again, which also suits my career change, travelling the world teaching English. At this stage of my life, I cant think of anything better.
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
Courage, it comes in many forms....For me and for those who know me, know my struggles, my Demons, my story, I guess some will say I have courage. I'm unsure if that's what I call it, but I do see it as making choices and changes in my life that have made my life and the life of my children better. It's owning the choices that you've made, being completely honest with yourself, the things you've done, letting go of the things that you can't change, forgiving, looking at your life a gift and one big lesson and not having regrets..... Is this courage, fucked if I know, I've been knocked down more than once, but I also made the choice to get back up again and to start again.....💋
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madotara69
11 years ago
Lovinit, we had the privilege of meeting you that's where it shows, for you to have nature, we saw in you, courage would have been preserving what mattered most. eyes to eyes Mado Tara xx
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