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M44

Confessions of a Serial Flirter.

January 02 2011

This originally started as a reply to a post but the shameful truth just kept pouring out. :) I've decided to post it here as a public apology and to accept the wrath of those that I have pestered. If it serves as a warning to those considering sending a thoughtless flirt or helps a sinner repent, then I'll be glad for having done some good for the community. It is quite long but I hope you stick with it and I hope that you find it an enjoyable and informative read. So, let us begin then shall we? Who wants to go first? Puts hand up and nervously faces the forum. Ahem. My.... my name was mickoneal22 and.... I.... I.... I was a problem flirter. When I first joined my dick was doing all the thinking and flirts were fired off at any and everything that caught my eye. More flirts were sent when there was no response to the first, and then third, and sometimes a fourth round. "They've been read but why won't they reply!" I would cry. Then an introductory message would be sent, heavy on detail about me but no real acknowledgment of having read their profile (which I do read). Sometimes even an extra flirt to try and let them know there was a message waiting to be read. I had sunk so low. Then..... A revelation! I made my first contact. Not through uninspired scripted flirts or inane messages but through an imaginative, creative and personalised message. My first contact also opened my eyes to the world of RHP messaging from a female's poimt of view. Where overflowing inboxes of rudeness and crassness were the norm and sullied the experience to varying degrees for females. My behaviour began to improve. Flirts became compliments without motive, I sent these new flirts selectively to those couples and woman where I loved their pictures or how they'd written their profile. Age brackets and looking for fields were disregarded as these flirts were simply compliments not come ons. The dark side re-emerged however. Positive response to the compliment was then taken as interest and a still nice but more detailed flirt was sent (doh!). Negative responses (and one or two blocks) followed left me scratching my head as to why if they'd responded positively to the first. I was lost and thinking of giving up flirting entirely. Seek and ye shall find. Praise be the forum Gods! Discovery of the forum and it's inhabitants opened my eyes once again to my shameful wrongdoings. You who are wise, sage, experienced, openminded and give of freely, I thank you. You who aren't so wise, sage, experienced and openminded, yet still give of freely, I thank also. For it is the contrast of your views that highlight the quality responses. Trolls, diplomats and peacemakers I also thank you for some great reading (some terrible stuff too. Baiting does not have to contain abusive or attacking content to get a rise) and witty, intelligent exchanges. All have proven informative, whether on the topic at hand or just on the poster's personality. It all helps. Rebirth. So now seeing the error of my ways and armed with this precious new information I began rebuilding my profile, my self, until I was happy (not entirely satisfied though) with the result. It still needs work (as I do myself) and as I change, so will it. Relapse. Tempted to try out this new "me" I fired off a few complimentary flirts (a few being a dozen) before I could stop myself. I then sat back waiting for the planets to not align or nothing to happen at all. Both happened of course (plus that one that mistakenly made it onto one woman's "message me" group reply instead of her trashcan). :) To those that responded I then sent messages thanking them for responding and wishing them the best in their search and left it at that. The ones who haven't yet responded I forget about and move on. I've learnt not to dwell on it and if they ever do respond then I'll send a thank you for taking the time to respond message. Where are they now? So now I'm reformed. Cured? I can't honestly say that there won't be another relapse but I'm better equipped to prevent it happening again. I've taken on board information from others and will now use messages to communicate instead of flirts. More personal, more detailed and a bit more significant than a scripted flirt (not to say that I mightn't send off the odd one or two). Respect of peoples search parameters is now a priority. I'm 29, almost 30, but I'll no longer send something to a female or couple whose lower limit is 30, even if I fit every other requirement (you'll be hearing from me in a few months though). ;p I've never sent abusive or disrepectful messages, but I am guilty of sending too many flirts/messages to many an unresponsive party. For that I am sorry and ask for forgiveness. What my experience has taught me is that to get the best response I need to be who I am, not the desperate and horny fool listening to his dick as I'd just blend in with the rest of them. :) Instead I now treat people on RHP as I would in the real world (as that is where I hope to meet a few of you) with this inappropriate (or is that appropriate?) acronym: Respect- of others desires, decisions and opinions (can be hard at times), Acceptance- of others desires and decisions, Consideration- of others and how my actions/behaviours may affect them, Kindness- towards others as everything is better when people are kind. Of course there are many other interactions that can be placed next to the above, I was just using those listed as an example. I think that covers what I wanted to say and if you've made it this far I thank you for persevering. Comments are very welcome, even if only to say it was too long and pointless. I appreciate any feedback. So hopefully I can now play with you guys again. Pleeeease! Cheers and have fun. Maybe

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    So nice to see someone taking on the various bits of advice on here and learning from them...remember your support group is here for you and we all wish you the best in this journey...its is obvious to those who have now read your entire missive that you are trying to become a better participant in the sandpit and I for one welcome you back to us... Kisses Focus

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    its good to know that sometimes we do some good on here well done to you Maybe roxxy

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Position available for a sponser who can help me from straying back to the dark side. lol ' Apologies for the lack of paragraph spacing. They were there when I posted. I'd love to find out how to keep them there. :) ' Maybe.

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    I like your approach here. It's refreshing. And I took a look at your profile and I liked that too. It's obvious you put some thought into it and we girls like that kinda thing. You'll be able to refine it as you go along and perhaps add some breathing room along the way (this mind you from someone whose profile I've been told by some, is a fraction long-winded - stiff sh*t I say! That's me most of the time anyway - long-winded).I liked your acronym too by the way .. until I got distracted by MTV and Jessica Simpson strutting around in those cut-offs and cowboy boots! Sorry ... short attention span this evening ...Good luck with your ongoing recovery, I have no doubt someone will see their planet colliding with yours in the near future!

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  • deanna_rose

    deanna_rose

    15 years ago

    its so refreshing to hear from a man that actually does understand that if it doesn't work in real life, don't try it on here. i wish more men had that wake up call

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Quoting 'TassieRose' its good to know that sometimes we do some good on here well done to you Maybe roxxy Maybe a compulsory read through of the forums for all new male members before they're allowed to send flirts or messages? I'm sure there are female problem flirters as well but they could be in the minority as I can't recall a post by a guy complaining and I definitely haven't experienced it myself. That idea would probably cut new signups drastically though and RHP wouldn't go for that. Or, a cap on flirts/messages for the first month? Just some ideas. Maybe. (Lol. Just realised I should probably stop ending my posts with Maybe, or change my name again, as it could be a bit confusing)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Thank you Deanna. I think that due to being the internet (and therefore not 'real life') people feel that they can treat others however they want and without consideration. Also a lot of guys probably just don't realise how much mail most females would get. I know I didn't until I was told and started reading the forums. :( Thank you Flirty. It's always nice to hear compliments and to have something personal validated. :) I also had a look at yours (I hope you don't mind?), I liked it and I don't think it's too 'long-winded' at all. Bearing in mind my profile and my reasonably long posts. :) I know that mine is too long and yes I will refine it as I go along and learn more. I really struggle to find that point where there's enough info to make it interesting versus too much information. Maybe I'm trying too hard to please everyone and in the end I'm pleasing no-one? Cheers

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    I like your style! WILDly applauding

    reply

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