Condoms, erections and the space in between.

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  Nightglider

  11 months ago

  Communication is key. State before meet that protection is non negotiable. There are still a few that won’t stay hard with one on. And some that will still say mid play that it would feel better without using a condom. This space is about mutually respecting all parties in the play. Egos and desires can get in the way of that at times unfortunately. That’s where things can fall down and there’s a misalignment of respect of boundaries. Most follow the rules and are respectful.

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  NeoAndTrin

  11 months ago

  Putting a condom isnt a problem for me and never had been, although I don't need it now to increase my staying power which is it's other benefit on top on STD and pregnancy protection.

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  RHP User

  11 months ago

  Best advice I could give is make sure it fits right. Too tight and it kills, too loose and it may cause problems. Apart from that get it on while they are in an extremely aroused state. The act of putting the condom on when losing that state can be a problem too

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  ReyandJean

  11 months ago

  If he claims he can't stay hard with a condom on, the chances are very good he can't stay hard without one, regardless of "used to" or not.

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  Notice_Me

  11 months ago

  Try a vibrating cock ring. He will be harder, thicker, and longer lasting which is always great for mutual satisfaction, but there's also the tickly, vibrating, buzzy goodness that can come from a ring fitted with a bullet vibrator. You know that taste you get when you touch the ends of a 9v battery? Add raw meat and that’s it :)

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  YouTarzanMeJane

  11 months ago

  "not used to condoms" 🙄 sounds like a pathetic attempt to get out of wearing one

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  FeistyFatty

  11 months ago

  At your age, I would have thought you'd know all this. Maybe best to visit a sexual health clinic .... Have a check-up and get some resources to educate yourself. You'll get an array of responses here and all subjective to the individual. Please be safe 😊

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  BiPeggyGal

  11 months ago

  They can add lube and/or orgasm-enhancing drops/gel in the condom, and also use cock-rings. No excuses. Avoid anyone that spins you a line about condoms. No sex is worth the health risk.

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  nightingale8

  11 months ago

  I think a lot of of people don’t realise that women can be very turned on but still need lube applied because of the condom, particularly for ummm.. prolonged sessions. This benefits men as much as women. Bring a bottle with you that has a texture/quality that you like. I’ve enjoyed the ‘Gold’ brand, or something that said gold on the packet I can’t remember! This is entirely hypocritical of course as I almost never remember to bring some. The other thing is, if condoms don’t feel so good for him, maybe spend longer in foreplay and use your oral and hand skills to edge him first

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  Andrea_Sydney

  11 months ago

  Sometimes, if the erection goes after putting on a condom, you can try keep playing and kissing for a bit. If the erection doesn’t come back, take the condom off and play some other stuff again, him looking after you, or do some oral, whatever works. You can also try slipping on the condom (on erection) and putting a cock ring over it. Ensure the condom isn’t too small, that gets most men soft if they are. I will say that the less focus on the erection, the better. As in, keep the mood sexy, don’t stop and get clinical putting the condom on, do it inside play. Practise on something (a banana even) until you can put it on really fast. Hold it by squeezing the top bit, set it on, roll it down with the other hand. If you practise, this takes a couple of seconds. Then let him enter quickly. If he softens on entering, let him wiggle around inside you, keep the mood and kiss. It’s not unusual to be nervous coming out of a long-term relationship. Men are not different. They need our sexy patience as much as women need theirs. Good on you for not dismissing the guy, but looking for ideas 💪🏻 All the best x

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  Liz1487

  11 months ago

  Thanks everyone. Appreciated. It’s not that guys are trying to get out of condom use at all, more that when wearing one they have trouble staying hard. So I’m hearing - find the right fit - try a cock ring - bring favourite lube and - go slow to go fast!

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  Mrs_Deep_Love

  11 months ago

  Viagra 😉

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  Sect8080

  11 months ago

  Without hijacking the thread too much… let’s explore ED. The excuse that “I can’t stay hard with condoms” although sometimes true… is often a fallacy and a way for a male to try and sneak his way out of wearing protection. Someone who has been in a monogamous relationship for sometime and hasn’t used protection in a long time may experience this and find it hard to stay hard as they desensitise you. However there’s ways around this by buying the likes of SKYN or “close feel” condoms etc etc. Also if they’re back in the dating game more often than not sex with a new partner should be an exciting experience and condoms shouldn’t hurt the erection too much. If someone is struggling with ED and wants to fix it, I’d suggest introspection and asking the “why” behind their ED. Fitness: whether you’re fit or not, this can play a major role. Someone with a high level of fitness like myself and a low heart rate may suffer from CNS fatigue and struggle to get hard for a period of time but normally clears up on its own. Someone with a poor diet and level of fitness may struggle due to this unhealthy lifestyle. And if you don’t have a sex drive, this is not normal as adults, something is wrong and you’re often unhealthy. Stress: Life can suck at times. Work, financial, relationship issues, kids, depression… these can all have effects on a man’s ability to gain an erection and may loose it with a wandering mind. Fixing such issues may fix the problem without seeing a doctor. Desensitisation and addiction: whether it be drugs or alcohol or porn addiction, these can have negative effects on erections. Substance abuse is straight forward and doesn’t need to be delved into… however the way a person has sex or porn habits may need some light shed on the matter. An example is a porn addiction or even passive softcore porn exposure in every day life (example - an Instagram feed with nothing but lingerie, OF and fitness models) over exposure to this can hinder a man’s ability to get an erection and sometimes cleaning up these habits may help. Sex: sex itself or a lack of balance may also lead to this, if a man is too accustomed to hard rough porno style sex, and doesn’t balance his sexual repertoire with the likes of sexual connection and love making, this can lead to struggles in maintaining an erection during times of intimacy. Life is all about balance. Love and the brain: someone who’s just gone through a break up and out dating again may also find it hard to maintain or get an erection if the mind, body and soul aren’t in sync. A man who hasn’t healed and out in the dating or sexual world again with feelings of love and truly missing someone else and full of heart ache may also have an issue. This can also tie into a sexless or stale sexual relationship… sometimes the sexual energy has ended and a man may feel the pressure to perform or start forcing himself to do the deed which in-turn can do more damage than good. To summarise, there’s no ONE reason this may happen. Struggles with ED may be a multi layered problem and it’s up to us as men to do ourselves a favour and do the work. Look inside, ask the why, take the necessary steps to fix or heal and understand our bodies better. Because as a man, putting a rubber on and loosing an erection more often than not is screaming “there’s a bigger underlying issue here” to you.

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  Havinaball3

  11 months ago

  If that’s what you want they’ll have to get used to it , I’ve had both ways, more on than not and makes no difference if there’s some foreplay involved , there’s lots less mess for her especially if she has to spend the rest of the day working etc also

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  Elizabethhenry

  11 months ago

  Finding the right sized condom was my key to maintaining an erection. Sex shops carry all different sizes rather than woolies/colds/servos

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  RHP User

  11 months ago

  I suffer from ED, and it can be extremely frustrating and embarrassing. My wife of 50 years lost all sexual feelings including passionate kissing after the birth of our second child, that was 45 years ago and even though she had said to me to use a brothel, I elected not to and as a consequence I am unable to get a full erection, and I can assure you that it's not for the lack of trying. I've tried the blue pills and various others, including the jells ,with no significant effects. The old saying, if you don't use it you'll lose it. 🤷🤦

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  Freewilly88

  11 months ago

  I prefer a condom…. It helps me last long as far as erections go if your going flaccid with a condom on try a bigger 1 not so tight maybe

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  MaxedGirthMaster

  11 months ago

  Condom PTSD from when they didn't fit. Yeah, finding one that fits would be key.. I wish they made wider ones more readily available.

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  Christian833

  4 months ago

  Takes a horny women. They take away wetness and sensation bastard of a thing they are

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